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TIME TRAVEL --- TIMING (GOOD) --- TIPPING
TIRED --- TITLES --- TOASTS
TOBACCO --- TODAY

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TIME TRAVEL

see: "TRAVEL" for related links


-

"A bookie? What the hell do you want to know about
bookies for, kid?"

"I want to make a bet," Jeff said.

"What on?"

"The Kentucky Derby."

"Why don't you just start a pool around your dorm?
Probably get lots of guys to come in on it. Be sure
to keep it quiet, though."

The senior was treating him with an affable
condescension. Jeff smiled inwardly at the young
man's practiced, if unearned, air of worldliness.

"The bet I want to make is fairly large."

"Yeah? Like how much?"

"Twenty-three hundred dollars," Jeff said.

Maddock frowned. "You're talking about a hell of a
lot of money there. I know 'Candy Spots' is pretty
much a sure thing, but--"

"Not 'Candy Spots.' One of the other horses."

The older boy laughed as the waiter set a new
pitcher of beer on the worn oak table. "Dream on,
son. 'No Robbery' isn't worth that kind of risk,
and neither is 'Never Bend.' Not in this race."

[...]

Jeff had done it. He'd won.

The other men in the bar began loudly and angrily
analyzing the race they'd just seen, with most of
their ire aimed at Willie Shoemaker's tactics in the
last half mile. Jeff didn't hear a word they said.
He was waiting for the figures to come up on the
tote board.

Chateaugay paid $20.80 to win. Jeff reached
reflexively for his Casio calculator watch, then
laughed as he realized how long it would be before
such a thing existed. He grabbed a cocktail napkin
from the bar, scribbled some figures with a
ballpoint.

Half of 2300 times 20.8, less Frank Maddock's 30
percent share for placing the bet . . . Jeff had won
close to seventeen thousand dollars.

More importantly, the race had ended as he'd
remembered it. He was eighteen years old, and
he knew everything of consequence that was going
to happen in the world for the next two decades.

--Ken Grimwood (1944—2003)
_Replay_, ch. 3 [1986]

-

If you go flying back through time, and you see somebody
else flying forward into the future, it's probably best
to avoid eye contact.
--Jack Handey (1949— )
American comedian and comedy writer.
_Deeper Thoughts_ [1993]

-

All you would have to do is walk around the North Pole
in a counter clockwise direction, crossing back over the
International Dateline for every 360° rotation. Each of
these rotations would send you a day into the past.
The implications are limitless!
--"Time Travel for Dummies"



TIMING (GOOD)

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.

see: "TIME" for related links


A man finds joy in giving an apt reply--
and how good is a timely word!
--Bible
Proverbs 15:23 NIV

Observe due measure, for right timing is
in all things the most important factor.
--Hesiod (c. 700 B.C.)
Greek poet.
_Works and Days_, Line 694

-----

opportune [op-uhr-TOON; -TYOON], adjective:
Suitable for a given purpose or occasion; timely.



TIPPING

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.

see: "MONEY" for related links
see: "FOOD & DRINK" for related links


^

Alfred E. Smith (1873—1944)
American politician.

During one of his terms as governor of New York,
Smith was late for a broadcast he was due to make.
He hailed a taxi to take him to the radio station,
but the driver, who did not recognize the governor,
refused to take him. He explained that he was in
a hurry himself, anxious to be home in time to
hear Governor Smith talk on the radio. Smith,
flattered, held out a five-dollar bill and repeated
his request. The driver's eyes lit up. 'Hop in,
mister,' he said, 'and to hell with the governor.'

--_Bartlett's Book of Anecdotes_
edited by Clifton Fadiman and Andrι Bernard [2000 ed.]

^

In spite of the personal relationship symbolized by a
tip, people who receive tips are often regarded, on the
job, as non-persons. Taxi-drivers' fares commonly discuss
their personal lives and finances, kiss, curse, and fight
in the back of a cab as though the driver's seat were
empty. Waiters are supposed not to sit, eat, drink, or
talk to each other within sight of customers: ideally they
are gliding, murmuring automata, swift but scarcely
human.

The bestowal of tips gives modern people one of the rare
opportunities left them to behave as the nobility once did,
for the gentry were taught to pretend that any members
of the lower orders who were in their presence, and upon
whom they depended, were not really there.

--Margaret Visser
South-Aftican born Canadian professor, writer, and broadcaster.
"Tipping," from _The Way We Are_.



Click picture to ZOOM
TIRED

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see: "THE BODY"


[Of San Francisco:]
The wonderful thing about this city is when you
get tired you can always lean against it.
--Warner Anderson (1911—1976)
American actor.
Quoted in "Washington Post" [25 January 1959].

There is no fatigue so wearisome as
that which comes from want of work.
--Charles Haddon Spurgeon (1834—1892)
English nonconformist preacher.
_The Salt-Cellars: Being A Collection Of Proverbs,
Together With Homely Notes Thereon_ [1889]

-----

desiccate (verb)
1 to dry up
2 to preserve (a food) by drying :
3 to drain of emotional or intellectual vitality
intransitive senses : to become dried up
desiccation /"de-si-'kA-sh&n/ noun
desiccative /'de-si-"kA-tiv/ adjective
desiccator /'de-si-"kA-t&r/ noun

effete [eh-FEET], adjective:
1. No longer capable of producing young; infertile; barren; sterile.
2. Exhausted of energy; incapable of efficient action; worn out.
3. Marked by self-indulgence or decadence; degenerate.
4. Overrefined; effeminate.
Ex.: Nor was it only the confirmed anti-democrats who
thought democracy effete and worn out.
--Mark Mazower,
_Dark Continent_

enervate [EN-ur-vayt], transitive verb:
1. To deprive of vigor, force, or strength; to
render feeble; to weaken.
2. To reduce the moral or mental vigor of.
Ex.: The conquerors were enervated by luxury.
--Edward Gibbon,
_The Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire_

inanition [in-uh-NISH-uhn], noun:
1. The condition or quality of being empty.
2. Exhaustion, as from lack of nourishment.
3. Lack of vitality or spirit.
Ex.: Even without, or before, revolution or foreign
invasion, states can decline of their own inanition.
--Harold Perkin,
"The rise and fall of empires: the role of
surplus extraction,"
_History Today_, [April 2002]

jaded [JEY-did], adjective:
Worn out; tired, weary.

languor [LANG-guhr; LANG-uhr], noun:
1. Mental or physical weariness or fatigue.
2. Listless indolence, especially the indolence of
one who is satiated by a life of luxury or pleasure.
3. A heaviness or oppressive stillness of the air.

narcolepsy [NAHR-kuh-lep-see], noun:
A disorder characterized by uncontrollable bouts of
sleepiness during the daytime, occasional loss of
muscle power and paralysis, and hallucinations
during sleep.

oscitancy (noun) ['ah-si-tκn-si]
Yawning or a yawn, hence
the drowsiness or dullness
associated with yawning.

schlep [SHLEP], verb:
1. To move slowly, awkwardly, or tediously.
2. To carry; lug.

wan [WAHN], adjective:
1. Having a pale or sickly hue; pale; pallid.
2. Lacking vitality, as from weariness, illness, or unhappiness; feeble.
3. Lacking in intensity or brightness; dim or feeble.



TITLES

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see: "ARISTOCRACY"
see: "NAMES"
see: "ROYALTY"
see: "PEOPLE" for other related links


A gentleman I could never make him,
though I could make him a lord.
--James I (1566—1625)
King of Scotland [as James VI 1567—1625],
and the first Stuart king of England [1603—1625].
(To his nurse, who begged him to make her son a gentleman.)
Quoted in _The Gentleman's Magazine_ [1861].

MEMBER OF THE WASHINGTON PRESS CORPS: Do you
prefer to be called Mr. Secretary or Dr. Secretary?
KISSINGER: I do not stand on protocol. If you just
call me Excellency, it will be okay.
--Henry Alfred Kissinger (1923— )
German-born American diplomat.
After being appointed Secretary of State,
in Walter Isaacson _Kissinger: A Biography_ Ch. 22 [1992].

It is not titles that honor men, but
men that honor titles.
--Niccolς Machiavelli (1469—1527)
Florentine statesman and political philosopher.
_Discorsi_, bk. 3, ch. 38 [1531]

Titles distinguish the mediocre, embarrass the
superior, and are disgraced by the inferior.
--George Bernard Shaw (1856—1950)
Irish comic dramatist, literary critic, Socialist propagandist, and winner
of the Nobel Prize for Literature in 1925 [he didn't accept it.]
_Man and Superman_ [1903]

A politician is a man who understands government, and it
takes a politician to run a government. A statesman is a
politician who's been dead 10 or 15 years.
--Harry S. Truman (1884—1972)
American Democratic statesman, President of the U.S. [1945—1953].
Speech in Washington, D.C. [11 April 1958].



TOASTS

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.

see: "IRISH TOASTS"
see: "FOOD & DRINK" for other related links


And this is good old Boston,
The home of the bean and the cod,
Where the Lowells talk only to the Cabots,
And the Cabots talk only to God.
--John Collins Bossidy (1860—1928)
American poet.
Toast at Holy Cross alumni dinner in 1910, as quoted
in "Literary Landmarks of Massachusetts" by William
H. Nicholas in _National Geographic_ [March 1950].

[When requested to say grace by the Earl of Selkirk:]
Some hae meat, and canna eat,
And some wad eat that want it;
But we hae meat, and we can eat,
And sae the Lord be thankit.
--Robert Burns (1759—1796)
Scottish poet and songwriter.
"The Kirkudbright Grace" [1790]
aka "The Selkirk Grace"

Be at war with your vices, at peace with your
neighbors, and let every new year find you a
better person.
--Benjamin Franklin (1706—1790)
American politician, inventor, and scientist.
Attributed in _Memphis Medical Monthly_, vol. XXI [March 1901].

We never eat anybody's health, always drink it. Why should
we not stand up now and then and eat a tart to somebody's
success?
--Jerome K. Jerome (1859—1927)
English novelist and playwright.
_The Idle Thoughts of an Idle Fellow; A Book for an Idle Holiday_ [1892]

-

Drink to me only with thine eyes,
And I will pledge with mine;
Or leave a kiss but in the cup,
And I'll not look for wine.
--Ben Jonson (c.1573—1637)
English dramatist and poet.
"Song: To Celia" in _The Forest_ [1616]

& see:

Oliver St John Gogarty (1878—1957)
Irish poet.

Entering a tavern one day, Gogarty caught sight
of a friend wearing a patch over one eye. He
greeted him: 'Drink to me with thine only eye.'

--_Bartlett's Book of Anecdotes_
edited by Clifton Fadiman and Andrι Bernard [2000 ed.]

-

Here's to our wives and girlfriends
... may they never meet!
--Groucho [Julius Henry] Marx (1895—1977)
American film comedian.

May you have the hindsight to know where you've been,
The foresight to know where you are going,
And the insight to know when you have gone too far.
--most often attributed to Charles M. Meyers or an "Irish toast".

-

Since you, Mr. H. will marry black Kate,
Accept of good wishes for that blessed state:
May you fight all the day like a dog and a cat,
And yet ev'ry year produce a new brat.

May she never be honest — you never be sound,
May her tongue like a clapper be heard a mile round;
Till abandon'd by joy, and deserted by grace,
You hang yourselves both in the very same place.

--Lady Mary Wortley Montagu [nιe Pierrepont] (1689—1762)
English writer.
_Epithalamium_

-

Oh! be thou blest with all that Heaven can send,
Long health, long youth, long pleasure — and a friend.
--Alexander Pope (1688—1744)
English poet.

May the hinges of friendship never rust,
or the wings of love lose a feather.
--Edward Bannerman Ramsey (1793—1872)
[Dean of the University of Edinburgh.]
_Reminiscences of Scottish Life: A Toast_

Wealth I ask not, hope nor love,
Nor a friend to know me,
All I ask is the heav'n above,
And the roads below me!
--Robert Louis Stevenson (1850—1894)
Scottish essayist, poet, and novelist.

Champagne to our real friends, and
real pain to our sham friends.
--Robert Smith Surtees (1803—1864)
English sporting journalist and novelist.
_Jorrock's Jaunts and Jollities_ [1838]

Let us toast the fools; but for them, the rest
of us could not succeed.
--Mark Twain [Samuel Langhorne Clemens] (1835—1910)
American humorist, novelist, journalist, and river pilot.

Let us fill a cup and drink to that most noble,
ridiculous, laughable, sublime figure in our lives...
The Young Man Who Was.
Let us drink to his dreams, for they were rainbow-colored;
to his appetites, for they were strong;
to his blunders, for they were huge;
to his pains for they were sharp;
to his time for it was brief;
and to his end, for it was to become one of us.
--Herman Wouk (b. 1915)
American novelist.
_Aurora Dawn_ [1947]

-

Wedding Toasts

May you both live as long as you want,
And never want as long as you live.

May the saddest day of your future be no worse
Than the happiest day of your past.

May the most you wish for
Be the least you get.

May your right hand always
Be stretched out in friendship
And never in want.

May I see you grey
And combing your grandchildren's hair.

May you see each other through many dark days,
and make all the rest a little brighter.

-

As we start the new year, let's get down
on our knees to thank God that we are
still on our feet.
--Irish toast

When we drink, we get drunk.
When we get drunk, we fall asleep.
When we fall asleep, we commit no sin.
When we commit no sin, we go to heaven.
So, let's all get drunk, and go to heaven!
--Irish toast

May the saddest day of your future be no worse
Than the happiest day of your past.
--Irish toast

Here's to a long life and a merry one.
A quick death and an easy one.
A pretty girl and an honest one.
A cold beer — and another one!
--Irish toast

May the road rise to meet you.
May the wind be always at your back,
The sun shine warm upon your face,
The rain fall soft upon your fields,
And until we meet again
May God hold you in the hollow of his hand.
--Irish blessing

May you be poor in misfortune,
rich in blessings,
slow to make enemies,
quick to make friends.
But rich or poor, quick or slow,
may you know nothing but happiness
from this day forward.
--Irish blessing

May you have warm words on a cold evening,
a full moon on a dark night,
and the road downhill all the way to your door.
--Irish blessing

To the wise women here tonight, a word of advice:
distrust men in general, but not us in particular.
--anon.

To the United States, where each man is protected
by the Constitution regardless of whether he has ever
taken the time to read it.
--anon.

I raise my glass to say,
It's your birthday, that's true;
And to celebrate the fact
That I'm younger than you.
--anon.

To babies — they will make love stronger, days shorter,
nights longer, bankrolls smaller, home happier, clothes
shabbier, the past forgotten, and the future worth
living for.
--anon.

May all your teeth fall out - but one should
remain for a toothache.
--anon.

May you turn into a sparrow and owe your existence
to the droppings of a horse.
--anon.

Here's to our creditors — may they be endowed with
the four assets, faith, hope, charity, and Alzheimer's.
--anon.

To the birthday girl — how am I to remember
your birthday when you never look any older?
--anon.

Here's to us, my good, fat friend,
To bless the things we eat;
For it has been full many a year,
Since we have seen our feet.

May you be as lucky as a mosquito in a nudist colony!

Here's looking at you, though heaven knows it's an effort.

-

Peace to his ashes. Glory to his name!
--anon.

-----

wassail [WAH-sul; wah-SAYL], noun:
1. An expression of good wishes on a festive occasion, especially
in drinking to someone.
2. An occasion on which such good wishes are expressed in drinking;
a drinking bout; a carouse.
3. The liquor used for a wassail; especially, a beverage formerly much
used in England at Christmas and other festivals, made of ale (or wine)
flavored with spices, sugar, toast, roasted apples, etc.
Ex.: Christmas often means plum pudding, fruitcake, roast goose and
wassail.
--Florence Fabricant, "Recipes to Summon the Holiday Spirit"
_New York Times_ [21 December 1988]



TOBACCO

.
.

see: "CIGARETTES, CIGARS"
see: "VICE"
see: "HEALTH" for other related links


The roots of tobacco plants must go clear through to hell.
--Thomas Alva Edison (1847—1931)
American inventor.
Diary [12 July 1885].

I was with some Vietnamese recently, and some of them
were smoking two cigarettes at a time. That's the kind
of customers we need!
--Jesse Helms (1921—2008)
American politician; five-term U.S.
Senator from North Carolina [1973-2003].

-

Tobacco is a dirty weed. I like it.
It satisfies no normal need. I like it.
It makes you thin, it makes you lean,
It takes the hair right off your bean,
It's the worst darn stuff I've ever seen,
I like it.
--Graham Lee Hemminger (1895—1950)
American advertising executive.

& see:

Tobacco is a filthy weed,
That from the devil does proceed,
It drains your purse, it burns your clothes,
And makes a chimney of your nose.
--Benjamin Waterhouse (1754—1846)
American physician and scientist, a pioneer in smallpox vaccination.
Quoted in Dirk J. Struik _Yankee Science in the Making_ [1948].

-

A custom loathsome to the eye, hateful to the nose, harmful
to the brain, dangerous to the lungs, and in the black stinking
fume thereof nearest resembling the horrible Stygian smoke
of the pit that is bottomless.
--James I (1566—1625)
King of Scotland [as James VI 1567—1625],
and the first Stuart king of England [1603—1625].
_A Counterblast to Tobacco_ [1604]

For thy sake, Tobacco, I
Would do anything but die.
--Charles Lamb (1775—1834)
English essayist.
"A Farewell to Tobacco"

-

When you think of the relative harm done by tobacco and drugs, it is
amazing that tobacco company executives are treated as respectable
people. They wear suits, and they have fine lawyers, but they do much
more harm than drug peddlers.

The attorney general of Mississippi, Mike Moore, gave that reality blunt
expression last weekend on CBS television's '60 Minutes.' It was a revised
version of the program originally held back for fear of a lawsuit by the
Brown and Williamson Tobacco Corporation.

'I'm used to dealing with cocaine dealers and crack dealers,' Mr. Moore
said. 'And I have never seen damage done like the tobacco company
has done. There is no comparison.'

--Anthony Lewis (1927— )
American liberal author and columnist.
"Prohibition Folly" _New York Times_ [12 February 1996]

-

[...] the passion of all proper people, and he who lives without
tobacco has nothing else to live for. Not only does it refresh
and cleanse men's brains, but it guides their souls in the ways
of virtue, and by it one learns to be a man of honor.
--Jean Moliθre [Jean Baptiste Poquelin]
(1622—1673) French comic dramatist.

Pipe-smokers spend so much time cleaning, filling and
fooling with their pipes, they don't have time to get into
mischief.
--Bill Vaughan (1915—1977)
American columnist and author.
Attributed in Evan Esar _20,000 Quips & Quotes_, p. 746 [1995].

Tobacco drieth the brain, dimmeth the sight, vitiateth
the smell, hurteth the stomach, destroyeth the
concoction, disturbeth the humours and spirits,
corrupteth the breath, induceth a trembling
of the limbs, exsiccateth the windpipe, lungs,
and liver, annoyeth the milt, scorcheth the
heart, and causeth the blood to be adjusted.
--Tobias Venner (1577—1660)

-

We can imagine no reason why, with
ordinary care, human toes could not
be left out of chewing tobacco, and if
toes are found in chewing tobacco, it
seems to us that somebody has been
very careless.
--Pillars vs. R. J. Reynolds Tobacco Co.
[1918]



TODAY

.
.

see: "CARPE DIEM"
see: "TIME" for other related links


The secret of health for both mind and body is
not to mourn for the past, not to worry about
the future, not to anticipate the future, but
to live the present moment wisely and earnestly.
--Buddha [Gautama] (c. 6th—4th century B.C.)
Founder of Buddhism.
_Teaching of Buddha (the Buddhist Bible)_ [1934]
by Federation of All Young Buddhist Associations of Japan

Happy the man, and happy he alone,
He, who can call to-day his own:
He who, secure within, can say,
Tomorrow do thy worst, for I have lived today.
--John Dryden (1631—1700)
English poet, critic, and dramatist.
_Imitation of Horace_, bk. 3, ode 29, l. 65 [1685]

One ought, every day at least, to hear a little song, read
a good poem, see a fine picture, and if it were possible,
to speak a few reasonable words.
--Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1749—1832)
German poet, novelist, and playwright.
_Wilhelm Meisters Lehrjahre_ (Wilhelm Meister's Apprenticeship),
bk. 5, ch. I [1795—1796]

Carpe diem, quam minimum credula postero!
(Seize the day, put no trust in the morrow!)
--Horace [Quintus Horatius Flaccus] (65—8 BC)
Roman poet.
_Odes_, book I, , ode xi, last line [23 B.C.]

There are many fine things which you mean to do some day, under
what you think will be more favorable circumstances. But the only
time that is surely yours is the present, hence this is the time to speak
the word of appreciation and sympathy, to do the generous deed, to
forgive the fault of a thoughtless friend, to sacrifice self a little more
for others. Today is the day in which to express your noblest qualities
of mind and heart, to do at least one worthy thing which you have long
postponed, and to use your God-given abilities for the enrichment of
some less fortunate fellow traveler. Today you can make your life big,
broad, significant and worthwhile. The present is yours to do with it
as you will.
--Grenville Kleiser (1868—1953)
American writer of humor and inspiration.
_Inspiration And Ideals: Thoughts For Every Day_ [3rd. ed., 1918]

Trust no Future, howe'er pleasant!
Let the dead Past bury its dead!
Act,—act in the living Present!
Heart within, and God o'erhead!
[...]
Let us, then, be up and doing,
With a heart for any fate;
Still achieving, still pursuing,
Learn to labor and to wait.
--Henry Wadsworth Longfellow (1807—1882)
American poet.
_A Psalm of Life_, st. 6 & 9 [1839]

Remember that man's life lies all within this present, as
'twere but a hair's-breadth of time: as for the rest, the
past is gone, the future yet unseen.
--Marcus Aurelius Antoninus (121—180)
Roman emperor [161—180] and Stoic philosopher.
_Meditations_, III, 10

Live neither in the past nor in the future, but let each day's work
absorb your entire energies, and satisfy your wildest ambition.
--Sir William Osler (1849—1919)
Canadian-born physician.
1899 address at McGill University as reported in the
_Boston Medical and Surgical Journal_, vol. 141 [July—December 1899].

I have always been delighted at the prospect of a new
day, a fresh try, one more start, with perhaps a bit of
magic waiting somewhere behind the morning.
--J.B. [John Boynton] Priestley (1894—1984)
English novelist, playwright and critic.
_Delight_, p. 170 [1949]

Live now, believe me, wait not till tomorrow;
Gather the roses of life today.
--Pierre de Ronsard (1524—1585)
French poet.
"Sonnets pour Hιlθne" 1, 43

But we live through the fine days without noticing them; only when
we fall on evil ones do we wish to have back the former. With sour
faces we let a thousand bright and pleasant hours slip by unenjoyed
and afterwards vainly sigh for their return when times are trying and
depressing. Instead of this, we should cherish every present moment
that is bearable, even the most ordinary, which with such indifference
we now let slip by, and even with impatience push on.
--Arthur Schopenhauer (1788—1860)
_Parerga and Paralipomena_ [1861]

We are tomorrow's past.
--Mary Webb (1881—1927)
English novelist.
_Precious Bane_, "Foreword" [1924]

As I got older I became aware of the folly of this
perpetual reaching after the future, and of drawing
from tomorrow, and from tomorrow only, a reason
for the joyfulness of today. I learned, when, alas!
it was almost too late, to live in each moment as
it passed over my head.
--William Hale White [pseud. Mark Rutherford] (1831—1913)
English novelist.
_The Autobiography of Mark Rutherford_, ch. V [3rd ed., 1889]


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