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TEMPER
TEMPTATION --- TENNESSEE
TENNIS --- TERESA (MOTHER)
TEXAS --- THANKFULNESS --- THANKSGIVING

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TEMPER

see "EMOTIONS & FEELINGS" for related links


But a perverse temper and fretful disposition make any state of life unhappy.
[Latin: Importunitas autem, et inhumanitas omni aetati molesta est.]
--Marcus Tullius Cicero (106—43 BC)
Roman orator and statesman.
_De senectute_ [45-44 BC]

For scholars to argue against me as Mr. Heitland
argues is just the way to foster in me that
arrogant temper to which I owe my deplorable
reputation.
--A.E. [Alfred Edward] Houseman (1859—1936)
English classical scholar and poet.
In "The Classical Review" [1901].

Nothing gives one person so much advantage over
another as to remain always cool and unruffled
under all circumstances.
--Thomas Jefferson (1743—1826)
American statesman and president [1801—1809].

A quick temper will make a
fool of you soon enough.
--Bruce Lee (1940—1973)
Martial arts film actor.

It is my rule never to lose my temper until
it would be detrimental to keep it.
--Sean O'Casey (1880—1964)
Irish dramatist and memorist.

If thou thinkest twice before thou speakest once,
thou wilt speak twice the better for it.
--William Penn (1644—1718)
Quaker leader and advocate of religious
freedom who oversaw the founding of
the American Commonwealth of
Pennsylvania as a refuge for Quakers
and other religious minorities of Europe {E.B.}.
_Some Fruits of Solitude_ [1693] "Reflections And Maxims"

Temper, if ungoverned, governs the whole man.
--Anthony Shaftsbury

Bad temper is an indication of a man's character;
every man can be judged by the things which
make him mad.
--Fulton John Sheen (1895—1979)
Roman Catholic bishop; the first popular
preacher to appear on television.
_God Love You_ [1981]

When I hear of anybody losing his temper, I always
pray that he may not find it again. Such tempers
are best lost.
--Charles Haddon Spurgeon (1834—1892)
English nonconformist preacher.
_Metropolitan Tabernacle Pulpit_ Vol. 53 [1907], Pg. 545

Oh, I know... I'm going to use good judgment. I
haven't lost my temper in 40 years, but pilgrim
you caused a lotta trouble this morning... mighta
got somebody killed ... and somebody otta belt
you in the mouth... but I won't ... I won't...
the hell I won't!
--John Wayne [Marion Michael Morrison] (1907—1979)
American motion-picture actor.
In "McClintock!"

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defenestrate dee-FEN-uh-strayt, transitive verb:
To throw out of a window.

mercurial mur-KYUR-ee-uhl, adjective:
Changeable in temperament or mood; temperamental; volatile.




TEMPTATION

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see "EMOTIONS & FEELINGS" for related links


All men are tempted. There is no man that lives that
can't be broken down, provided it is the right temptation,
put in the right spot.
--Henry Ward Beecher (1813—1887)
American Congregational minister;
[brother of Harriet Beecher Stowe, son of Lyman Beecher.]

Take heed: Most Men will cheat without
Scruple where they can do it without Fear.
--Thomas Fuller (1654—1734)
English writer and physician.
Comp., _Introductio ad Prudentiam_ [1731]

The older you get, the easier it is to resist
temptation, but the harder it is to find.
--Joseph H. Humbert
"Humbert Unhappy Homily" in
Paul Dickson comp., _The New Official Rules_ [1989], p. 102.

What makes resisting temptation difficult, for many people,
is that they don't want to discourage it completely.
--attributed to Franklin P. Jones

Lead us not into temptation. Just tell us
where it is; we'll find it.
--Sam Levenson (1911—1980)
American humorist.

Why do they put the Gideon Bibles only in the
bedrooms, where it's usually too late, and not
in the barroom downstairs?
--Christopher Morley (1890—1957)
American journalist, novelist, and poet.
_Contribution to a Contribution_

For every man there exists a bait which
he cannot resist swallowing.
--Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche (1844—1900)
German classical scholar, philosopher, and critic of culture.

Temptations come, as a general rule, when they are sought.
--Margaret Oliphant (1828—1897)
Scottish novelist and historical writer.
_Miss Marjoribanks_ [1866], ch. 47

Be thou as chaste as ice, as pure as snow, thou shalt
not escape calumny. Get thee to a nunnery, go.
--William Shakespeare (1564—1616)
English dramatist.
_Hamlet_ [1601], Act 3 scene 1

There are several good protections against
temptation, but the surest is cowardice.
--Mark Twain [Samuel Langhorne Clemens] (1835—1910)
American humorist, novelist, journalist, and river pilot.
"Pudd'nhead Wilson's New Calendar"
_Following the Equator_ [1897]

I can resist everything except temptation.
--Oscar Wilde (1854—1900)
Anglo-Irish dramatist and poet.
_Lady Windermere's Fan_ [1892], act I

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tantalize (verb) ['tζn-tκ-lIz]
To torment by showing or promising something desirable
but holding it just out or reach or withdrawing it at the last
moment.




Click picture to ZOOM
TENNESSEE

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see "PLACES" for related links


What you need for breakfast, they say in East
Tennessee, is a jug of good corn liquor, a thick
beefsteak, and a hound dog. Then you feed the
beefsteak to the hound dog.
--Charles Kuralt (1934—1997)
American journalist and broadcaster.
_Dateline America_ [1979]

The way the government interferes with private business
is enough to drive a fellow crazy. That old government
moved into Tennessee and bought a lot of hilly land.
Then they signed a proclamation making this land into
the Great Smokies National Park. And thereby ruined
the finest settlement of moonshiners in the U.S.A.
--Ernie Pyle (1900—1945)
American journalist, war correspondent.
and winner of a 1944 Pulitzer.
_Home Country_ [1947]

There's only one place worth living in, and that's Middle
Tennessee. When I get out I'm going back there. I'm
going to marry a Nashville gal. I'm going to buy some
Middle Tennessee land and raise Tennessee Walking
Horses and Tennessee babies. I'm going to cure
Tennessee hams with Tennessee hickory, and I'm not
going to drink anything but old Jack Daniel sour-mash
Tennessee whisky. And if my wife ever talks about
leaving Middle Tennessee, I'll drag her clean over to
the Tennessee River and drown her. Hell, I'm so
homesick I could root for the University and I'm
a Vanderbilt man.
--a homesick young airman from Tennessee, quoted
by Hodding Carter in "Tennessee"
_American Panorama: East of the Mississippi_ [1960].




TENNIS

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see "SPORTS" for related links


You cannot be serious!
--John McEnroe (1959— )
American tennis player.
Said to tennis umpire at Wimbledon [early 1980s].

I'd hate to be next door to her on her wedding night.
--Sir Peter Alexander Ustinov [1921-2004]
British entertainer, writer, and humanitarian.
(On tennis player Monica Seles.)


TOPICAL

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"We Watched Andre Agassi Grow"
by Jay Wink
_The Wall Street Journal_
September 6, 2006

He is an outsider turned insider, a bad boy turned good boy, a punk who was all flash turned philosopher who is all substance. Throughout his storied tennis career, he was brash, even bratty, and more than a touch brazen. Nor was he always destined to win his way into our hearts. But the teary-eyed Andre Agassi who waved his final goodbye on Sunday leaves as a man who reinvigorated tennis and wondrously transcended the world of sport.

He erupted onto the scene in 1986 as a 16-year-old kid in a van from Las Vegas, with a blistering return of serve and a mane of peroxide blond hair. At the outset, his work ethic was spotty, but not his ability to command the public spotlight. With his denim shorts and day-glo ensembles, his shared grimaces and expressive Al Pacino eyes, Mr. Agassi was perfect for the camera — and he knew it; almost predictably, his tag line became "Image Is Everything."

For the first six years, he seemed destined simply to be famous for being famous or, just as likely, famous for being an underachiever. Inauspiciously, he turned up his nose at Wimbledon; he once spat at a chair umpire at the U.S. Open and called French tennis officials "bozos." He tanked matches he should have won and even mocked a fellow tennis player's service toss during a tight match. If that weren't enough, his training meals were stops at McDonald's and Taco Bell — hardly a good sign.

Despite his talent and abundant charisma, one often sensed that he was battling inner doubts far more than opponents. But then something changed: After seemingly failing to meet every expectation, he began to win. In 1992, his first Grand Slam title came at the tournament he was never supposed to capture, Wimbledon. Two years later, he made history as the first unseeded player to win the U.S. Open. The next year, he won in Australia. Then, in 1999, at the remarkable age of 29 — ancient by tennis standards — he won the French Open, in five grueling sets no less, making him one of only five men to win all four majors, and the only man ever to have done so on three separate surfaces: grass, clay and hard courts, an achievement nothing short of stunning.

An equally stunning achievement was the most improbable of feats in sports: Mr. Agassi actually won some of his greatest acclaim by losing, by crafting memorable moments that are the stuff of legend. He did this in his 2001 U.S. Open quarterfinal battle with Pete Sampras, which is quite likely the greatest tennis match ever played. He did this by getting to the finals of the 2005 U.S. Open at the gravity-defying age of 35 and taking Roger Federer to four sets. And with his body wracked with pain, barely able to serve or scramble or twist, he did this by losing in the third round of this year's U.S. Open — after two long, extraordinary wins — and with such grace, courage and dignity that one is hard-pressed to find anything comparable in the annals of competition.

Yet for all his accomplishments, Mr. Agassi is hardly the greatest player of all time. That encomium would go to Rod Laver — or to Mr. Agassi's longtime rival, Mr. Sampras, who bested him in four of their five Grand Slam finals, and whose record 14 majors dwarf Mr. Agassi's eight. It also seems clear that in the record books, he will be outstripped by another rising superstar, Mr. Federer.

Still, when the history of the game is written, he will no doubt take an equally hallowed place in the pantheon of the game's greats. For starters, like no one else in tennis and few in sports, he made his story our story. In 1997, as his marriage to Brooke Shields was failing, he hit rock bottom: His ranking dipped to an appallingly low 141 in the world, leaving him to grind it out in near-humiliating obscurity on the challenger circuit. But then, suddenly, he punished himself — he ran hills, lifted weights, improved his serve, improved his diet, and rounded out his game to make an unprecedented comeback, culminating in his French Open win en route to becoming the No. 1 player in the world. Just as strikingly, in a sport where players invariably burn out young, he kept on going.

Moreover, in his second act he came to realize that talent is a gift, but one that can be sustained only by hard work and consummate dedication. Shedding the insouciance of youth, he did not, like so many athletes, become arrogant or feel entitled to his achievements. He was, instead, refreshingly grateful for them.

And uncommon too among athletes today, he set an example as much off the court as on it. Far from the cameras, he gave his time to younger tennis players, to family and to friends. He married fellow tennis great Steffi Graf, had two children, bought a minivan. Flash became a family man. He also made himself into a dedicated humanitarian. His charity has raised $60 million for impoverished, abused and abandoned children. He started a school and scholarships, and, like Bill Gates, as a philanthropist he is hands on.

And just the way he brought himself back to life, by sheer force of his own personality and a sublime quality that is impossible to define, he almost single-handedly brought a sport that was increasingly moribund back to life. In doing so, he became not simply the most beloved athlete in tennis, and justifiably so, but one of the most treasured athletes on the planet.

In retrospect, perhaps the record books are simply not big enough to fully capture Andre Agassi. It is fitting that he took his final bow in a stadium named for Arthur Ashe: Amid a sporting world often crassly dedicated only to winning, at whatever cost, he has become, like Ashe before him, that rarest of men: a true champion.

Mr. Winik is the author of "April 1865: The Month That Saved America." His next book will be about the 1790s.

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TERESA (MOTHER)

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see "KINDNESS" for related links
see "PEOPLE" for related links
see "RELIGION" for related links

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There are many Indians who object to the image of their society and
its people that is projected. From Mother Teresa and from her fans
you would receive the impression that in Calcutta there is nothing
but torpor, squalor, and misery, and people barely have the energy
to brush the flies from their eyes while extending a begging bowl.

Really and truly that is a slander on a fantastically interesting,
brave, highly evolved, and cultured city, which has universities,
film schools, theaters, book shops, literary cafes, and very vibrant
politics. There is indeed a terrible problem of poverty and
overcrowding, but despite that there isn't all that much mendicancy.
People do not tug at your sleeve and beg. They are proud of the
fact that they don't. The sources of Calcutta's woes and miseries
are the very overpopulation that the church says is no problem, and
the mass influx of refugees from neighboring regions that have been
devastated by religious and sectarian warfare in the name of God. So
those who are believers owe Calcutta big time, they should indeed be
working to alleviate what they are responsible for. But the pretense
that they are doing so is a big fraud.

--Christopher Hitchens (1949— )
British journalist, author, and literary critic.

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On September 5, 1997, Mother Teresa died in Calcutta, India. Born
in 1910 to an Albanian grocer, she moved to Ireland at age 18 to
join a convent. Six weeks later she was sent to India, where she
studied nursing and began working with destitute people. The
charismatic nun soon developed a following of devoted Indian nuns,
who all adopted the sari as their habit. In 1948, she founded The
Order of the Missionaries of Charity, which eventually grew to more
than a thousand nuns serving the poor in over 200 countries. Her
work was so highly regarded in Rome that she reported directly to
the Pope. Awarded the Nobel Peace Prize in 1979, she once offered
this provocative oxymoronic observation:

"More tears are shed over answered prayers than unanswered ones."

At a 1999 Prayer Breakfast, President Clinton reported that someone
once asked Mother Teresa, "When you pray to God, what do you say?"
She replied, "I don’t say anything. I listen." The interviewer persisted,
"Well, what does God say to you." She answered: "He doesn’t say
anything. He listens."

--from Dr. Mardy's quotes of the week.

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TEXAS

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see "PLACES" for related links

FIRST, A SINGALONG

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Any fool who tells you "Space is big" has never been to
Texas. We are so big that we're more or less indifferent
to things that folks from the underprivileged parts of
this great land of ours would call sensational or spectacular
or even just plain weirder'n a rat in tap shoes. When Armageddon
hits, it's more than a little likely we'll look out across the
plains, see the armies of locusts and the rain of blood and
the Four Horsemen coming right at us and the most we'll do
is write a stern letter to the local radio station, blaming
it all on the Democrats.

Yessir, it takes a lot to hold our attention or rile up our
curiosity. We make mighty poor tourists. (I got an uncle who
can pee better than Niagara, a cousin who can blow his top
better than Mount Saint Helens, and as for the Grand Canyon,
well, I'd rather not talk about my ex-wife Marcy June too
much, if you don't mind.) If there is something interesting
out there in the sorry badlands beyond our borders, we don't
feel the need to go jackrabbiting off to hunt it down. Sooner
or later it will come to Texas, if it's all that important.

That's what you call gravity.

Only problem with gravity is you don't get to choose what
it picks up and flings at you. This is especially a trial
when it decides to fling Easterners.

--April, 2002 issue of _Fantasy & Science Fiction_,
the short story "Just Another Cowboy" by Esther M. Friesner

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I like the story, doubtless antique, that I heard
near San Antonio. A child asks a stranger where he
comes from, whereupon his father rebukes him gently,
'Never do that, son. If a man's from Texas, he'll
tell you. If he's not, why embarrass him by asking?'
--John Gunther (1901—1970)
American author.
_Inside USA_ [1947]

If I owned Texas and Hell, I would
rent out Texas and live in Hell.
--Philip H. Sheridan (1831—1888)
American army general.
At Fort Clark, Texas [1855].

^

Texas is the only state that came into the Union by treaty.
It retains the right to secede at will. We have heard them
threaten to secede so often that I formed an enthusiastic
organization — The American Friends for Texas Secession.
This stops the subject cold. They want to be able to secede
but they don't want anyone to want them to.

Like most passionate nations Texas has its own private history
based on, but not limited by, facts. The tradition of the tough
and versatile frontiersman is true but not exclusive. It is for the
few to know that in the great old days of Virginia there were
three punishments for high crimes — death, exile to Texas, and
imprisonment, in that order. And some of the deportees must
have descendants.

Again — the glorious defense to the death of the Alamo against
the hordes of Santa Anna is a fact. The brave bands of Texans
did indeed wrest their liberty from Mexico, and freedom, liberty,
are holy words. One must go to contemporary observers in
Europe for a non-Texan opinion as to the nature of the tyranny
that raised need for revolt. Outside observers say the pressure
was twofold. The Texans, they say, didn't want to pay taxes and,
second, Mexico had abolished slavery in 1829, and Texas, being
part of Mexico, was required to free its slaves. Of course there
were other causes of revolt, but these two are spectacular to a
European, and rarely mentioned here.

[ . . . ] For all its enormous range of space, climate, and physical
appearance, and for all the internal squabbles, contentions, and
strivings, Texas has a tight cohesiveness perhaps stronger than
any other section of America. Rich, poor, Panhandle, Gulf, city,
country, Texas is the obsession, the proper study and the
passionate possession of all Texans. Some years ago, Edna
Ferber wrote a book about a very tiny group of very rich Texans.
Her description was accurate, so far as my knowledge extends,
but the emphasis was one of disparagement. And instantly the
book was attacked by Texans of all groups, classes, and
possessions. To attack one Texan is to draw fire from all
Texans.

[ . . . ] I have moved over a great part of Texas and I know
that within its borders I have seen just about as many kinds
of country, contour, climate, and conformation as there are
in the world saving only the Arctic, and a good north wind can
even bring the icy breath down. The stern horizon-fenced
plains of the Panhandle are foreign to the little wooded hills
and sweet streams in the Davis Mountains. The rich citrus
orchards of the Rio Grande valley do not relate to the
sagebrush grazing of South Texas. The hot and humid air
of the Gulf Coast has no likeness in the cool crystal in the
northwest of the Panhandle. And Austin on its hills among
the bordered lakes might be across the world from Dallas.

What I am trying to say is that there is no physical or
geographical unity in Texas. Its unity lies in the mind. And
this is not only in Texans. The word Texas becomes a symbol
to everyone in the world. There's no question that this Texas-
of-the-mind fable is often synthetic, sometimes untruthful,
and frequently romantic, but that in no way diminishes its
strength as a symbol.

[ . . . ] I know no place where hospitality is practiced so
fervently as in Texas.

--John Steinbeck (1902—1968)
American novelist.
_Travels With Charley_ [1962], pt. 4

^

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FELLOW CITIZENS, I am besieged by a
thousand or more Mexicans, under Santa
Anna ... The enemy have demanded a surrender
at discretion, otherwise the garrison is to be
put to the sword, if the fort is taken. I have
answered the demand with a cannon shot,
and our flag still waves proudly from the
walls. *I shall never surrender nor retreat*...
VICTORY OR DEATH.
--William Barrett Travis (1809—1836)
Hero of the Texas Revolution.
(Dispatch of 24 February 1836.)

& see:

Remember the Alamo!
--Battle-cry of the Texan leader Sam Houston at San Jacinto,
21 April 1836, when the Texans defeated and slaughtered
Mexican troops as comprehensively as the Mexicans had
annihilated the defenders of the Alamo the previous month.
In M.J. Cohan and John Major {eds.}
_History in Quotations_ [2004] p. 615.

The Alamo

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"The Devil in Texas" — anon.

He scattered tarantulas over the roads,
Put thorns on the cactus and horns on the toads,
He sprinkled the sands with millions of ants
So the man who sits down must wear soles on his pants.
He lengthened the horns of the Texas steer,
And added an inch to the jack rabbit's ear;
He put mouths full of teeth in all of the lakes,
And under the rocks he put rattlesnakes.

He hung thorns and brambles on all of the trees,
He mixed up the dust with jiggers and fleas;
The rattlesnake bites you, the scorpion stings,
The mosquito delights you by buzzing his wings.
The heat in the summer's a hundred and ten,
Too hot for the Devil and too hot for men;
And all who remain in that climate soon bear
Cuts, bites, and stings, from their feet to their hair.

He quickened the buck of the bronco steed,
And poisoned the feet of the centipede;
The wild boar roams in the black chaparral;
It's a hell of a place that we've got for a hell.
He planted red pepper beside every brook;
The Mexicans use them in all that they cook.
Just dine with a Mexican, then you will shout,
'I've hell on the inside, as well as the out!'

--

A Texan, trying to impress a Bostonian with tales about the
heroes of the Alamo, said, "I'll bet you never had anyone so
brave around Boston."

"Ever hear of Paul Revere?" asked the Bostonian.

"Paul Revere?" said the Texan. "Isn't he the guy who ran
for help?"

--




THANKFULNESS

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see: "APPRECIATION"
see: "THANKSGIVING" (below)


There must be either a predestined Necessity and
inviolable plan, or a gracious Providence, or a
chaos without design or director. If then there
be an inevitable Necessity, why kick against the
pricks? If a Providence that is ready to be gracious,
render thyself worthy of divine succour. But if
a chaos without guide, congratulate theyself that
amid such a surging sea thou hast a guiding Reason.
--Marcus Aurelius Antoninus (121—180)
Roman emperor [161—180] and Stoic philosopher.
_Meditations_, trans. C. R. Haines

Thank God for dirty dishes,
They have a tale to tell,
While others may go hungry,
We're eating very well,
With home and hearth and happiness,
I shouldn't want to fuss,
For by the stack of evidence,
God's been good to us.
--anon




THANKSGIVING

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see: "APPRECIATION"
see: "THANKFULNESS" (above)
see "HOME & FAMILY" for other related links
see "TIME" for other related links


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George Allen, the former senator from Virginia, writing in
the Washington Post [23 November 2003]:

As families come together this week, it is time to tell the
truth about America's first Thanksgiving.

For decades, children across America have donned the
buckle-topped hats and plain dress of the Puritan pilgrims
who landed near Plymouth Rock in 1620. As the old story
goes, William Bradford, Miles Standish and the rest of the
pilgrims held a harvest festival and were joined by their
Indian friends, Samoset and Squanto, in 1621. Thankful
for their safe journey and good harvest, and in celebration
of their friendship with the neighboring Indians, the pilgrims
feasted on turkey, venison, fish, berries and Indian corn
meal. This is a good and honorable story, but it was not
America's first Thanksgiving.

Here, as Paul Harvey might say, is the rest of the story:
America's first Thanksgiving occurred in what is now Charles
City County, Va., on land that became part of the Berkeley
Plantation on the James River.

There, 38 men landed after a 10-week voyage across the
Atlantic Ocean aboard the ship Margaret. The London
Company, which had sent the expedition, sent explicit
instructions for the settlers:

"Wee ordaine that the day of our ships arrivall at the place
assigned for plantacon in the land of Virginia shall be yearly
and perpetually keept holy as a day of thanksgiving to
Almighty God."

On Dec. 4, 1619, a year before the pilgrims set foot on
Plymouth Rock, the first Thanksgiving was held at Berkeley
Plantation as Capt. John Woodlief and his band of settlers
planted roots upriver from Jamestown in the growing colony
of Virginia and gave thanks for their good fortune.

In 1863, Thanksgiving became a national holiday. At that time
there was no official connection between Abraham Lincoln's
proclamation and the 1621 event held in Massachusetts, as
that would come later. The reasons for affiliating our November
holiday with the pilgrim feast and not the day of thanksgiving
observed by Capt. Woodlief and his men are uncertain. My
good friend Ross MacKenzie, who was raised in Illinois and
now serves as the editor of the editorial pages of the
Richmond Times-Dispatch, surmised that this myth is the
result of a "northern bias." Shenandoah University history
professor Warren Hofstra says New England historians
were just "quicker on the jump."

But in 1963, President John F. Kennedy recognized Virginia's
claim to the holiday in his 1963 Thanksgiving Proclamation
and Berkeley Plantation is proud to make the claim today.

Visitors at Berkeley Plantation can find a plaque on the
plantation grounds with the words of the London Company's
instructions. The plantation was the birthplace of Benjamin
Harrison as well as the home of President William Henry
Harrison. It was also the site where Union Gen. Daniel
Butterfield composed the melody for taps while camped
on the grounds in 1862. Berkeley Plantation is truly one
of our nation's historical jewels, and an important part
of our Thanksgiving history.

http://hnn.us/articles/480.html#lincoln12-1-03

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Some have meat and cannot eat,
Some cannot eat that want it;
But we have meat and we can eat,
Sae let the Lord be thankit.
--Robert Burns (1759—1796)
Scottish poet and songwriter.
"The Kirkudbright Grace" [1790] aka "The Selkirk Grace"

Over the river and through the wood,
To grandfather's house we go;
The horse knows the way
To carry the sleigh,
Through the white and drifted snow.
--Lydia Marie Child (1802—1880)
Amercan abolitionist and suffragist.
_Flowers for Children_ [1844—1846]
"Thanksfiving Day," st. 1

'Twas founded be th' Puritans to give thanks f'r bein'
presarved fr'm th' Indyans, an' . . . we keep it to give
thanks we are presarved fr'm th' Puritans.
--Finley Peter Dunne (1867—1936)
American journalist and humorist.
"Thanksgiving" _Mr. Dooley's Opinions_ [1900]

Give me the end of the year an' its fun
When most of the plannin' an' toilin' is done;
Bring all the wanderers home to the nest,
Let me sit down with the ones I love best,
Hear the old voices still ringin' with song,
See the old faces unblemished by wrong,
See the old table with all of its chairs
An' I'll put soul in my Thanksgivin' prayers.
--Edgar Guest (1881—1959)
American poet.
"Thanksgiving"

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I think the best Thanksgiving I ever had was the one
where we didn't even have a turkey. Mom and Dad sat
us kids down and explained that business hadn't been
good at Dad's store, so we couldn't afford a turkey.
We had vegetables and bread and pie, and it was just
fine.

Later I went into Mom and Dad's bedroom to thank
them, and I caught them eating a little turkey.
I guess that wasn't really the best Thanksgiving.

--Jack Handey (1949— )
American comedian and comedy writer.
_Fuzzy Memories_ [1996]

-

The snow is flying and trees are bare;
The birds have left us; Thanksgiving is here!
There's laughter outside and stomping of feet,
The children, all nine, have come home to eat.
With the ice thick and glassy on the pond down the lane,
There is skating and merriment since Thanksgiving came.
There's even a sled ride for the fearless and daring
While the women are busy the meal preparing.
The turkey's full of stuffing and is baked a golden brown,
The tantalizing odor brings the hungry children round.
There's a hush and a silence as the blessing is said
. . . In deepest reverence each bows his head
And offers a prayer of gratitude and praise
For bountiful blessings these Thanksgiving days.
--Mrs. Paul E. King

Thanksgiving was never meant to be
shut up in a single day.
--Robert Caspar Lintner

---

Recently I received a parrot as a gift.

The parrot had a bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary.
Every word out of the bird's mouth was rude, obnoxious and
laced with profanity.

I tried and tried to change the bird's attitude by consistently
saying only polite words, playing soft music and anything else
I could think of to "clean up" the bird's vocabulary.

Finally, I was fed up and I yelled at the parrot.

The parrot yelled back.

I shook the parrot and the parrot got angrier and even ruder.

So, in desperation, I threw up my hands, grabbed the bird and
put him in the freezer.

For a few minutes the parrot squawked and kicked and screamed.

Then suddenly there was total quiet.

Not a peep was heard for over a minute.

Fearing that I'd hurt the parrot, I quickly opened the door
to the freezer.

The parrot calmly stepped out onto my outstretched arms and
said "I believe I may have offended you with my rude language
and actions. I'm sincerely remorseful for my inappropriate
transgressions and I fully intend to do everything I can to
correct my rude and unforgivable behavior."

I was stunned at the change in the bird's attitude.

As I was about to ask the parrot what had made such a dramatic
change in his behavior, the bird continued,

"May I ask what the turkey did?"

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!


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| TABLOIDS - TALENT | TALK - TAYLOR (ELIZABETH) | TAXATION | TEACHERS / TEACHING | TEAMWORK - TELEVANGELISTS | TELEVISION - TELEVISION SHOWS | TEMPER - THANKSGIVING | THATCHER - THINKING | THOUGHT POLICE - THRIFT | TIME | TIME TRAVEL - TODAY | TOLERANCE - TOYS | TRADITION - TRANSIENCE | TRAVEL | TREACHERY - TRIVIA | TROUBLE - TRUST | TRUTH | TRYING - TYRANNY |
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