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TAXATION

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see "MONEY" for related links
see "POLITICS" for related links

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If Congress were to pass a flat tax, you'd simply pay
a fixed percentage of your income, and you wouldn't
fill out any complicated forms, and there would be no
loopholes for politically connected groups, and normal
people would actually understand the tax laws, and giant
talking broccoli stalks would come around and mow your
lawn for free, because Congress is NOT going to pass a
flat tax, you pathetic fool.
--Dave Barry (1947— )
American humorist.


The question is: What can we, as citizens, do to
reform our tax system? As you know, under our
three-branch system of government, the tax laws
are created by: Satan. But he works through the
Congress, so that's where we must focus our
efforts.

Here's my proposal, which is based on the TV
show "Survivor": We put the entire Congress
on an island. All the food on this island is locked
inside a vault, which can be opened only by an
ordinary American taxpayer named Bob. Every
day, the congresspersons are given a section
of the Tax Code, which they must rewrite so
that Bob can understand it. If he can, he lets
them eat that day; if he can't, he doesn't.

Or, he can give them food either way. It doesn't
matter. The main thing is, we never let them off
the island.

--Dave Barry (1947— )
American humorist.

-

Our American system of government by lobbyist guarantees
us a form of taxation with representation that the founding
fathers did not foresee: special interests get the representation
while the broad public gets the taxation.
--Alan S. Blinder (1945— )
American economist.
_Hard Head, Soft Hearts: Tough-Minded Economics for a Just Society_ [1987]

There is one thing I can promise you about the outer
space program: You tax dollar will go farther.
--Wernher von Braun (1912—1977)
German-born American rocket engineer.
In Jeffrey L. Yeblon, comp. _Tax Notes_ [14 November 1994].

'Tis impossible to be sure of any thing
but Death and Taxes.
--Christopher Bullock
_The Cobler of Preston_ [1716]

Read my lips: no new taxes.
--George H. W. Bush (1924— )
American Republican statesman and President [1989—1993].
Campaign pledge on taxation, in "New York Times" [19 August 1988].

A citizen can hardly distinguish between a tax and a fine,
except that the fine is generally much lighter.
--G.K. (Gilbert Keith) Chesterton (1874—1936)
English essayist, novelist, and poet.
_Illustrated London News_ [25 May 1931]

All wars come to an end, at least temporarily.
But the authority acquired by the state hangs
on; political power never abdicates. Note how
the 'emergency' taxes of World War II have
hardened into permanent fiscal policy. While
a few of the more irritating war agencies
were dropped, others were enlarged, under
various pretexts, and the sum total is more
intervention and more interveners than we
suffered before 1939.
--Frank Chodorov (1887—1966)
American libertarian and author.
"A Jeremiad", analysis [August 1950]

We contend that for a nation to try to tax itself
into prosperity is like a man standing in a bucket
and trying to lift himself up by the handle.
--Winston Churchill (1874—1965)
British Conservative statesman and
Prime Minister [1940—1945, 1951—1955].

Nothing is so well calculated to produce a death-like torpor
in the country as an extended system of taxation and a
great national debt.
--William Cobbett (1763—1835)
English politician, agriculturist, and journalist.
Letter [10 February 1804].

What a benefit would the American government, not yet relieved of its extreme
need, render to itself, and to every city, village and hamlet in the States, if it
would tax whiskey and rum almost to the point of prohibition! Was it Bonaparte
who said that he found vices very good patriots? "He got five millions from the
love of brandy, and he should be glad to know which of the virtues would pay
him as much." Tobacco and opium have broad backs, and will cheerfully carry
the load of armies, if you choose to make them pay high for such joy as they
give and such harm as they do.
--Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803—1882)
American philosopher and poet.
_Society and Solitude_ "Civilization" [1870]

A good prince will tax as lightly as possible those commodities
which are used even by the poorest members of society; e.g.,
grain, bread, beer, wine, clothing, and all the other staples without
which human life could not exist. But it so happens that these very
things bear the heaviest tax in several ways; in the first place, by
the excessive extortion of the tax farmers, commonly called
assisiae, then by import duties which call for their own set of
extortionists, and finally by the monopolies by which the poor
are sadly drained of their funds in order that the prince may
gain a mere trifling interest.
--Desiderius Erasmus (1469—1536)
Dutch humanist and theologian.
"Education of a Christian Priest" [1516]
in _Main Currents of Western Thought_ [1978] {ed.} Franklin Le Van Baumer.

^^

The federal income tax law [...] was a creature of the twentieth century.
Tax policy during the New Deal was an important political issue. The
federal government needed money to support its new programs. Some New
Dealers liked the idea of soaking the rich and redistributing income; others
were afraid of killing a goose that might lay a golden egg or two, even in a
depression. There were struggles throughout the 1930s over income tax rates
and doctrines; the tax became, on the whole, more progressive, meaning that
the rich paid a higher percentage as they made more. But the Social Security
tax was regressive — this was, in theory, social insurance, and it was supposed
to pay for itself.

The income tax affected mostly businesses and rich people. Not one American
out of twenty paid the tax during the 1930s. The Second World War changed
the situation totally. Incomes rose; and so did the voracious appetite of
the government. Billions were needed to finance the war. Rates went up — and
sharply. Some proposals were downright confiscatory — Roosevelt in 1942 even
toyed with a proposal to limit all incomes to twenty-five thousand dollars, a
comfortable income in those days; the rest would go to the IRS. Wartime tax
rates included a surtax, which went from 13 percent on the first two thousand
dollars to 82 percent on net income over two hundred thousand dollars.
Moreover, the war brought full employment, and good jobs in factories and
businesses. Millions of people, for the first time, found themselves liable to
pay an income tax.

In 1943 the treasury proposed a "pay-as-you go" plan: taxes would be
withheld from paychecks, at the source. This would provide a more even flow
of money, keep taxpayers current, and prevent sticker shock at tax time the
following year. [ . . . ]

The income tax was no longer a "class tax"; now it was a "mass tax," as one
author has put it. Seven million Americans had to pay in 1940; by 1945 the
figure was 45 million. Consequently, the social meaning of the income tax
changed dramatically. It now confronted the general public with a perplexing,
difficult, and onerous burden, in money and effort. The government launched a
major propaganda campaign to sell the income tax as a war measure. Even
Donald Duck was enlisted; Disney produced an animated short, which 32
million people watched in twelve thousand theaters. And Irving Berlin wrote
a song to celebrate taxpaying, with these deathless words:

I said to my Uncle Sam
"Old Man Taxes here I am ....
I'm proud as I can be
I paid my income tax today ....
I'm squared up with the U.S.A.".

--Lawrence M. Friedman (1930— )
_American Law in the 20th Century_ [2002]
Ch. 10 "Business Law in an Age of Change" pp. 393-394

^^

Death is the most convenient time
to tax rich people.
--David Lloyd George (1863—1945)
Welsh-born British Prime Minister [1916—1922].
In Lord Riddell's _Intimate Diary of the Peace
Conference and After, 1918—1923_ [1933].

I'm proud to be paying taxes in the United States.
The only thing is — I could be just as proud for
half the money.
--Arthur Godfrey (1903—1983)
American entertainer.
Quoted in _Reader's Digest_ [October 1951].

We don't pay taxes. Only the little people pay taxes.
--Leona Helmsley (1920—2007)
American hotel executive.
Comment to her housekeeper, quoted in _N.Y. Times_ [12 July 1989].

-

Taxes are what we pay for civilized society.
--Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr. (1841—1935)
Justice of the United States Supreme Court,
legal historian, and philosopher.
Compaρνa de Tobacos v. Collector, 275 U.S. [1904]


The power to tax is not the power to
destroy while this court sits.
--Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr. (1841—1935)
Justice of the United States Supreme Court,
legal historian, and philosopher.
In a dissenting Supreme Court opinion,
"Panhandle Oil Company v. Mississippi" [1930].

-

Behind every man who achieves success,
Stands a mother, a wife and the IRS.
--Ethel Jacobson

Still one more thing, fellow citizens: a wise and frugal government,
which shall restrain men from injuring one another, shall leave them
otherwise free to regulate their own pursuits of industry and
improvement, and shall not take from the mouth of labor the
bread it has earned. This is the sum of good government.
--Thomas Jefferson (1743—1826)
American statesman and president [1801—1809].
_Conciliatory Address_ [4 March 1801].

The taxman's taken all my dough,
And left me in my stately home,
Lazin' on a sunny afternoon.
And I can't sail my yacht,
He's taken everything I've got,
All I've got's this sunny afternoon.
--The Kinks
_Sunny Afternoon_ [1966 song]

If you are truly serious about preparing your child
for the future, don't teach him how to subtract —
teach him to deduct.
--Fran Lebowitz (1946— )
American humorist.
_Social Studies_ [1981]

-

[A tax loophole is] something that benefits the
other guy. If it benefits you, it is tax reform.
--Russell B. Long (1918-2003)
American politician; senator from Louisiana [1948-1987].


[Describing tax reform:]
Don't tax you, don't tax me, tax
that fellow behind the tree.
--Russell B. Long (1918-2003)
American politician; senator from Louisiana [1948-1987].
Quoted in "Forbes" [15 December 1976].

-

The Chancellor of the Exchequer is a man whose duties make him
more or less of a taxing machine. He is intrusted with a certain
amount of misery which it is his duty to distribute as fairly
as he can.
--Robert Lowe [Viscount Sherbrooke from 1880] (1811—1892)
British Liberal politician.
Speech in House of Commons [11 April 1870].

When the same man, or set of men, holds
the sword and the purse, there is an end
of liberty.
--George Mason (1725—1792)
American statesman, wrote the
Virginia Declaration of Rights.

To tax the larger incomes at a higher percentage
than the smaller, is to lay a tax on industry and
economy; to impose a penalty on people for having
worked harder and saved more than their neighbors.
--John Stuart Mill (1806—1873)
English philosopher and social reformer.

-

Higgledy piggledy, my black hen,
She lays eggs for gentlemen.
Gentlemen come every day
To count what my black hen doth lay.
If perchance she lays too many,
They fine my hen a pretty penny;
If perchance she fails to lay,
The gentlemen a bonus pay.
Mumbledy pumbledy, my red cow,
She’s cooperating now.
At first she didn’t understand
That milk production must be planned;
She didn’t understand at first
She either had to plan or burst,
But now the government reports
She’s giving pints instead of quarts.

Fiddle de dee, my next-door neighbors,
They are giggling at their labors.
First they plant the tiny seed,
Then they water, then they weed,
Then they hoe and prune and lop,
Then they raise a record crop,
Then they laugh their sides asunder,
And plow the whole caboodle under.

Abracadabra, thus we learn
The more you create, the less you earn.
The less you earn, the more you’re given,
The less you lead, the more you’re driven,
The more destroyed, the more they feed,
The more you pay, the more they need,
The more you earn, the less you keep,
And now I lay me down to sleep.
I pray the Lord my soul to take
If the tax-collector hasn’t got it before I wake.

--Ogden Nash (1902—1971)
American writer of humorous poetry.
"One From One Leaves Two" [1935]

-

I want to be sure that he is a ruthless son of a
bitch, that he will do what he is told, that every
income tax return I want to see, I see.
--Richard Nixon (1913—1994)
American Republican statesman, President [1969—1974].
Commenting on the kind of IRS Commissioner he wanted.

The countess Godiva who ... longed to free the town of Coventry
from a heavy tax, often besought her husband [Earl Leofric of
Mercia] that ... he would free the town from that service ... [the
earl said] 'Mount your horse and ride naked, before all the people,
through the market of the town ... and on your return you shall
have your request.' Whereupon the countess ... loosed her hair
and let down her tresses, which covered the whole of her body
like a veil, and then mounting her horse and attended by two
knights, she rode through the marketplace, without being seen,
except her fair legs.
--Roger of Wendover (?—1236)
English theologian and chronicler.
_Flores Historiarum_ (Flowers of History) [c. I220; 1849 trans.]

The Income Tax has made more Liars out
of the American people than Golf has.
--Will Rogers [William Penn Adair Rogers] (1879—1935)
American humorist and actor.
"Helping the Girls with Their Income Taxes"
_The Illiterate Digest_ [1924]

A government which robs Peter to pay Paul
can always depend on the support of Paul.
--George Bernard Shaw (1856—1950)
Irish comic dramatist, literary critic, Socialist
propagandist, and winner of the Nobel Prize
for Literature in 1925 [he didn't accept it.]

The state and municipality go to great expense to
support policemen and sheriffs and judicial officers,
to protect people against themselves, that is,
against the results of their own folly, vice, and
recklessness. Who pays for it? Undoubtedly the
people who have not been guilty of folly, vice,
or recklessness.
--William Graham Sumner (1840—1910)
American sociologist and economist.
"The Forgotten Man" in
_The Forgotten Man and Other Essays_ [1919].

-

[Referring to a tax assessor:]
Barring that natural expression of villainy which
we all have, the man looked honest enough.
--Mark Twain [Samuel Langhorne Clemens] (1835—1910)
American humorist, novelist, journalist, and river pilot.
_A Mysterious Visit_ [1870 short story]


What is the difference between a taxidermist and a
tax collector? The taxidermist takes only your skin.
--Mark Twain [Samuel Langhorne Clemens] (1835—1910)
American humorist, novelist, journalist, and river pilot.
_Notebook_ [December 1902]

-

I think the Parliament of Great Britain hath
no more right to put their hands into my
pocket, without my consent, than I have
to put my hands into yours for money.
--George Washington (1732—1799)
American general and commander-in-chief of the
colonial armies in the American Revolution [1775—1783]
and first president of the United States [1789—1797].
In a letter to Bryan Fairfax [20 July 1774].

An unlimited power to tax involves, necessarily, the power to destroy.
--Daniel Webster (1782—1852)
American orator and politician.
Arguing befor the Supreme Court in "McCulloch v. Maryland" [1819].

^^

Wilfred Hyde White, interviewed by Sheridan Morley —
'Wilfred, how is it possible that the epitome of an English
gentleman like you can live out here in Palm Springs?'

'There are two reasons,' replied Wilfred. First, I couldn't
*stand* the sight of my third wife. Second, I refuse to
be held to ransom by the English Inland Revenue.'

And then, after a delicate pause, which lasted as long
as an intake of breath: 'Do forgive me. That was an
inconceivably caddish remark about the Inland Revenue.'

_The Folio Book of Humorous Anecdotes_
Introduced by Edward Leeson [2005], "Actors and the Theatre"

^^

Income tax returns are the most imaginative
fiction being written today.
--attributed to Herman Wouk (1915— )
American novelist.

-

It is inseparably essential to the freedom of a people,
and the undoubted right of Englishmen, that no taxes
be imposed on them but with their own consent, given
personally, or by their representatives.
--Resolution of the Stamp Act Congress,
New York City [19 October 1765].

-

A fine is a tax on doing wrong; a
tax is a fine on doing well.
--anon.

IRS: How much money did you make last year?
Mail it in.
--anon.

America is the only country in the world
where it takes more brains to make out
the income tax return than it does to
make the income.
--anon.

The income tax, the property tax, and the sales tax are
an unbeatable combination. They get you coming and going.
Add the inheritance tax and they get you after you've
gone.
--anon.

Passive activity income does not include the
following: Income from an activity that is
not a passive activity.
--Instructions to IRS Form 8582, "Passive Activity Loss Limitations"
Quoted in "Forbes" [1992]


TOPICAL


I think Mr. Geithner's plan to boost the
economy is perfect. Forget TARP and
forget choosing which politically favored
banks and industries to save. Simply tell
each taxpayer to forget to pay some
taxes. This will have a direct impact on
spending and will boost consumer
confidence.
--Paul Dembry
"Letter to the Editor"
_The Wall Street Journal_ [24 January 2009]


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