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. . . SELF-EXAMINATION see "KNOWING (ONESELF)" I've often said, the only thing standing between me and greatness is me. --Woody Allen [Allen Stewart Konigsberg] (1935 ) American actor, screenwriter, and director. Quoted in Renee Evenson _Award-Winning Customer Service_, p, 134 [2007]. I may not be totally perfect, but parts of me are excellent. --Ashleigh Brilliant (1933 ) British-born American writer and artist. When we see persons of worth, we should think of equaling them; when we see persons of a contrary character, we should turn inwards and examine ourselves. --Confucius (551479 B.C.) K'ung Ch'iu, Chinese philosopher. The very purpose of existence is to reconcile the glowing opinion we have of ourselves with the appalling things that other people think about us. --Quentin Crisp [Denis Pratt] (19081999) English writer. _How to Become a Virgin_ [1981], ch. 2 The profound thinker always suspects that he is superficial. --Benjamin Disraeli (18041881) British Tory statesman, novelist, and Prime Minister [1868, 18741880]. _Contarini Fleming_ [1832], pt. IV, ch. 5 Every one suspects himself of at least one of the cardinal virtues, and this is mine: I am one of the few honest people that I have ever known. --F. Scott Fitzgerald (18961940) American novelist. _The Great Gatsby_, ch. 3 [1925] You've no idea of what a poor opinion I have of myself and how little I deserve it. --W. S. Gilbert (18361911) English writer of comic and satirical verse. _Ruddigore_, act I [1887] Whenever I dwell for any length of time on my own shortcomings, they gradually begin to seem mild, harmless, rather engaging little things, not at all like the staring defects in other people's characters. --Margaret Halsey (19101997) American author. _With Malice Toward Some_, pt. I "June 15" [1938] Be charitable and indulgent to every one but thyself. --Joseph Joubert (17541824) French philosopher. It is always a mistake not to close one's eyes, whether to forgive or to look better into oneself. --Maurice Maeterlinck (18621949) Belgium poet and playwright. _Pellιas et Mιlisande_ [1892] We can talk frankly about our defects only to those who recognize our qualities. --Andrι Maurois (18851967) (pseudonym of Ιmile Salomon Wilhelm Herzog) French author. The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars, But in ourselves, that we are underlings. --William Shakespeare (15641616) English dramatist. _Julius Caesar_, act 1, sc. 2, l. 138 [1599] Interviewer: "When was the last tournament that you won? ... I know it's been a while. I don't mean to bring up a sore subject." Watson: "That's all right. I'm not very good." --Bubba Watson (1978 ) American professional golfer. Interview during the 2007 U.S. Open in Oakmont, Pennsylvania. There is luxury in self-reproach. When we blame ourselves, we feel no one else has a right to blame us. --Oscar Wilde (18541900) Anglo-Irish dramatist and poet. _The Picture of Dorian Gray_, ch. 8 [1891]  . . see: "DISCIPLINE" see: "IMPROVEMENT" see: "KNOWING (ONESELF)" If you don't like my opinion of you, you can always improve. --Ashleigh Brilliant (1933 ) British-born American writer and artist. To reform a world, to reform a nation, no wise man will undertake; and all but foolish men know, that the only solid, though a far slower reformation, is what each begins and perfects on *himself*. --Thomas Carlyle (17951881) Scottish historian and political philosopher. "Signs of the Times" [1829] How few there are who have courage enough to own their faults, or resolution enough to mend them. --Benjamin Franklin (17061790) American politician, inventor, and scientist. _Poor Richard's Almanack_ [January 1743] Self-knowledge is the beginning of self-improvement. --Baltasar Graciαn (16011658) Spanish Jesuit philosopher. _The Art of Worldly Wisdom_ [1647] There is nothing noble about being superior to some other men. The true nobility is in being superior to your previous self. --Hindustani Proverb In _A Conspectus of American Biography_, p. 726 [1906], compiled by George Derby. There's only one corner of the universe you can be certain of improving, and that's your own self. --Aldous Huxley (18941963) English novelist {grandson of T.H. Huxley}. _Time Must Have a Stop_ [1944] - In the village churchyard she lies, Dust is in her beautiful eyes, No more she breathes, nor feels, nor stirs; At her feet and at her head Lies a slave to attend the dead, But their dust is white as hers. Was she a lady of high degree, So much in love with the vanity And foolish pomp of this world of ours? Or was it Christian charity, And lowliness and humility, The richest and rarest of all dowers? Who shall tell us? No one speaks; No color shoots into those cheeks, Either of anger or of pride, At the rude question we have asked; Nor will the mystery be unmasked By those who are sleeping at her side. Hereafter?--And do you think to look On the terrible pages of that Book To find her failings, faults, and errors? Ah, you will then have other cares, In your own short-comings and despairs, In your own secret sins and terrors! --Henry Wadsworth Longfellow (18071882) American poet. "In the Churchyard at Cambridge" in _Birds of Passage_ [1858] - Withdraw into yourself and look. And if you do not find yourself beautiful yet, act as does the creator of a statue that is to be made beautiful: he cuts away here, he smoothes there, he makes this line lighter, this other purer, until a lovely face has grown upon his work. So do you also: cut away all that is excessive, straighten all that is crooked, bring light to all that is overcast, labor to make all one glow with beauty and never cease chiseling your statue, until there shall shine out on you the godlike splendor of virtue, until you shall see the final goodness surely established in the stainless shrine. --Plotinus (205270) Greek philosopher. _The Enneads_ He that does good to another does good also to himself, not only in the consequence, but in the very act; for the consciousness of well-doing is in itself ample reward. --Lucius Annaeus Seneca (4 B.C. 65 A.D.) Roman philosopher and poet. God helps those who help themselves. --Algernon Sidney (16221683) English Whig politician. _Discourses Concerning Government_ [1698], Ch. 2 Who has a fiercer struggle than he who strives to conquer himself? Yet this must be our chief concern to conquer self, and by daily growing stronger than self, to advance in holiness. --Thomas a' Kempis (13801471) German ascetical writer. _The Imitation of Christ_ [c. 1420], Book 1, Chapter 3: "On The Teaching Of Truth" . . We are all practical in our own interest and idealists when it concerns others. --Kahlil Gibran (18831931) Lebanese poet. Never appeal to a man's better nature. He may not have one. Invoking his self-interest gives you more leverage. --Robert Heinlein (19071988) American science-fiction writer. A man should be careful never to tell tales of himself to his own disadvantage. People may be amused and laugh at the time, but they will be remembered, and brought out against him upon some subsequent occasion. --Samuel Johnson (17091784) English poet, critic, and lexicographer. In James Boswell _The Life of Samuel Johnson_ "25 March 1776" [1791]. Fourteen heart attacks and he had to die in my week. In MY week. {when ex-President Eisenhower's death prevented her photograph appearing on the cover of "Newsweek" - ODTQ} --Janis Joplin (19431970) American singer. In "New Musical Express" [12 April 1969]. What proposition is there respecting human nature which is absolutely and universally true? We know of only one, and that is not only true, but identical; that men always act from self-interest. --Thomas Babington Macaulay (18001859) English politician and historian. "Mill's Essay on Government" [1829] Men alter their demeanor and sentiments just as fast as their interest changes. --Arthur Schopenhauer (17881860) German philosopher. "Counsels and Maxims" in _Essays of Arthur Schopenhauer_, tr. T. Bailey Saunders We are now in the Me Decade seeing the upward roll of . . . the third great religious wave in American history . . . and this one has the mightiest, holiest roll of all, the beat that goes. . . Me. . . Me. . . Me. . . Me. --Tom Wolfe (1931 ) American journalist and novelist. _Mauve Gloves and Madmen_ [1976] ----- potlatch (noun) ['pat-lζch] A social event, especially one given to express the wealth and generosity of the host in expectation of something in return. The word is used mainly in the Northwestern U.S.. . . see "KNOWING (ONESELF)" . . see "EMOTIONS & FEELINGS" for related links That favourite subject, Myself. --James Boswell (17401795) Scottish lawyer, diarist, and author. Letter to William Temple. [26 July 1763]. ^^ Once when Noλl Coward was crossing from Britain to the United States by ocean liner, the company in the cocktail lounge included a rather pompous English gentleman who was complaining bitterly of a recent occasion on which he had not been treated with the respect he clearly felt he deserved. "They didn't seem to know who I was!' he protested. 'And who *were* you?' enquired Coward politely. _The Folio Book of Humorous Anecdotes_ Introduced by Edward Leeson [2005], "Actors and the Theatre" ^^ He that falls in love with Himself, will have no Rivals. --Benjamin Franklin (17061790) American politician, inventor, and scientist. _Poor Richard's Almanack_ [May 1738] If it is a virtue to love my neighbor as a human being, it must be a virtue and not a vice to love myself, since I am a human being too. --Erich Fromm (19001980) American philosopher and psychologist. _The Art of Loving_ [1956] A beautiful woman should break her mirror early --Baltasar Graciαn (16011658) Spanish Jesuit philosopher. In jealousy there is more self-love than love. --Franηois de La Rochefoucauld (16131680) French classical author. _Maxims_, #324 [1665] He who is in love with himself has at least this advantage he won't encounter many rivals in his love. --Georg Christoph Lichtenberg (17421799) German scientist and drama critic. A town that boasts inhabitants like me Can have no lack of good society! --Henry Wadsworth Longfellow (18071882) American poet. "The Birds of Killingworth" _Tales of a Wayside Inn_ [1863] The affair between Margot Asquith and Margot Asquith will live as one of the prettiest love stories in all literature. --Dorothy Parker (18931967) American critic and humorist. "New Yorker" [22 October 1927] He fell in love with himself at first sight and it is a passion to which he has always remained faithful. Self love seems so often unrequited. --Anthony Powell (19052000) English novelist. Good breeding consists in concealing how much we think of ourselves and how little we think of the other person. --Mark Twain [Samuel Langhorne Clemens] (18351910) American humorist, novelist, journalist, and river pilot. _Notebooks_ [1935] To love oneself is the beginning of a life-long romance. --Oscar Wilde (18541900) Anglo-Irish dramatist and poet. _Phrases and Philosophies for the Use of the Young_ [1894] ----- narcissism [NAHR-suh-siz-em], noun: Excessive love or admiration for oneself; in psychoanalysis, gratification manifested in admiration and love of oneself. [From Greek Narkissos, beautiful youth in mythology (Ovid, "Metamorphosis," iii.370) who fell in love with his own reflection in a spring and was turned to the flower narcissus.] . . see: "PITY" see "EMOTIONS & FEELINGS" for other related links see "FAILURE" for other related links Quite often, people who mean well will inquire of me whether I ever ask myself, in the face of my diseases, "Why me?" I never do. If I ask "Why me?" as I am assaulted by heart disease and AIDS, I must ask "Why me?"about my blessings, and question my right to enjoy them. The morning after I won Wimbledon in 1975 I should have asked "Why me?" and doubted that I deserved the victory. If I don't ask "Why me?" after my victories, I cannot ask "Why me?" after my setbacks and disasters. --Arthur Ashe (19431993) American tennis player and the first black winner of a major men's single championship. _Days of Grace: A Memoir by Arthur Ashe, Arnold Rampersad_, p. 326 The more we feel sorry for ourselves, the less sorry others will feel for us. People don't waste their small store of sympathy on those who can provide it so richly for themselves. --Gerald Brenan (18941987) British travel writer and novelist. _Thoughts in a Dry Season: A Miscellany_ [1978] - When my mother died, I didn't understand death. Couldn't feature it. What do you mean she's gone forever? I was 15, living at a school for the blind 160 miles away from home. She was all I had in the world. No, she couldn't be dead. She'd be back tomorrow. Or the day after. Don't tell me about no death. Death can't take this woman. I need her. Can't make it without her. That's when I saw what everyone sees you can't make a deal with death. No, sir. And you can't make a deal with God. Death is cold-blooded, and maybe God is too. So I'm alone, and I'm going crazy, until Ma Beck, a righteous Christian lady from the little country town where I grew up, wakes me and shakes me and says, "Boy, stop feeling sorry for yourself. You gotta carry on." Made me realize I had to depend on me. No one was going to do sh*t for me. You hear me? No one. I could praise Jesus till I'm blue in the face. I could fall on my knees and plead. Pray till the cows come home. But Mama ain't coming back. So if Mama gave me religion, the religion said, "Believe in yourself." --Ray Charles (19302004) American pianist and soul singer. _Brother Ray_ [2004], "The Last Days of Brother Ray" - Every man supposes himself not to be fully understood or appreciated. --Ralph Waldo Emerson (18031882) American philosopher and poet. _Journals_, entry of 6 May 1840 [pub. in 10 vols., 19101914] Self-pity is our worst enemy, and if we yield to it, we can never do anything wise in the world. --Helen Keller (18801968) American author and educator who was blind and deaf. Everybody in the world ought to be sorry for everybody else. We all have our little private hell. --Bettina von Hutten (18741957) _The Halo_ [1907] ----- pule [PYOOL], intransitive verb: To whimper; to whine. Ex.: The first lady initially flourished as a wronged wife precisely because she endured her humiliation so stoically; she did not whine or pule or treat her pain as license to behave badly. --Michelle Cottle, "God Almighty", _New Republic_ [6 September 1999] . . see: "CONFIDENCE" see: "RESPECT" see: "SELF-ESTEEM" see "CHARACTER" for other related links Conceited men often seem a harmless kind of men, who, by an overweening self-respect, relieve other from the duty of respecting them at all. --Henry Ward Beecher (18131887) American Congregational minister; brother of Harriet Beecher Stowe, son of Lyman Beecher. In Henry Ward Beecher and Edna Dean Proctor, _Life Thoughts: Gathered From the Extemporaneous Discourses of Henry Ward Beecher_ [1858] That you may retain your self-respect, it is better to displease the people by doing what you know is right, than to temporarily please them by doing what you know is wrong. --Rev. William John Henry Boetcker (18731962) German-born American minister and author. If you want to be respected by others the great thing is to respect yourself. Only by that, only by self-respect will you compel others to respect you. --Fyodor Dostoyevsky (18211881) Russian novelist, journalist, and short story writer. _The Insulted and the Injured_ [1861] I prefer to be true to myself, even at the hazard of incurring the ridicule of others, rather than to be false, and to incur my own abhorrence. --Frederick Douglass [Frederick Augustus Washington Bailey] (c.18181895) American abolitionist, reformer, and writer. Regard not so much what the World thinks of thee, as what thou thinkest of thyself. --Thomas Fuller (16541734) English writer and physician. Comp., _Introductio ad Prudentiam_ [1731] Self-respect is the fruit of discipline; the sense of dignity grows with the ability to say No to oneself. --Abraham Joshua Heschel (19071972) Jewish theologian and philosopher. _The Insecurity of Freedom: Essays on Human Existence_ [1967], ch. 3 He that respects himself is safe from others; he wears a coat of mail that none can pierce. --Henry Wadsworth Longfellow (18071882) American poet. "Michael Angelo" [1872] Self-respect: the secure feeling that no one, as yet, is suspicious. --H.L. (Henry Louis) Mencken (18801956) American journalist and literary critic. _A Book of Burlesques_ [1916], ch. 11 Polonius: This above all: to thine own self be true, And it must follow, as the night the day, Thou canst not then be false to any man. --William Shakespeare (15641616) English dramatist. _Hamlet_, Act I, Scene iii. Self-respect is to the soul as oxygen is to the body. Deprive a person of oxygen and you kill his body; deprive him of self- respect and you kill his spirit. --Thomas Szasz (1920 ) American psychiatrist. "Social Relations" in _The Second Sin_ [1973] . . see: "CONCEIT" see: "HYPOCRISY" see: "MORAL CERTAINTY" Cant is the twin sister of hypocrisy. --Henry Ward Beecher (18131887) American Congregational minister; [brother of Harriet Beecher Stowe, son of Lyman Beecher.] - I am holier than thou. --Bible "Isaiah" 65:5 Why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother's eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye? --Bible "Matthew" 7:3 - [T]he greatest menace to our civilization today is the conflict between giant organized systems of self-righteousness each system only too delighted to find that the other is wicked each only too glad that the sins give it the pretext for still deeper hatred and animosity. The effect of the whole situation is barbarizing. --Herbert Butterfield (19001979) British historian and religious thinker. _Christianity, Diplomacy and War_, p. 43 [1953] The louder he talked of his honor, the faster we counted our spoons. --Ralph Waldo Emerson (18031882) American philosopher and poet. _The Conduct of Life_ "Worship" [1860] Cant is the voluntary overcharging or prolongation of a real sentiment; hypocrisy is the setting up a pretension to a feeling you never had and have no wish for. --William Hazlitt (17781830) English essayist. Self-righteousness is a manifestation of self-contempt. --Eric Hoffer (19021983) American longshoreman, philosopher, and author who received the Presidential Medal of Freedom in 1982. _The Ordeal of Change_ [1964], ch. 11 A man sufficiently gifted with humor is in small danger of succumbing to flattering delusions about himself, because he cannot help perceiving what a pompous ass he would become if he did. --Konrad Lorenz (19031989) Austrian zoologist. _On Aggression_ [1963] He who thinks himself wise, O heavens! is a great fool. --Voltaire (Franηois Marie Arouet) (16941778) French writer and philosopher. _Le Droit du Seigneur_, Act IV, Scene i . . If [Sydney Carton] had given any utterances to his [last thoughts], . . . they would have been these: . . . 'It is a far, far better thing that I do, than I have ever done; it is a far, far better rest that I go to than I have ever known. --Charles Dickens (18121870) English novelist. Closing words of _A Tale of Two Cities_ [1859]. . . see "GREED" Selfishness is that detestable vice which no one will forgive in others, and no one is without in himself. --Henry Ward Beecher (18131887) American Congregational minister; [brother of Harriet Beecher Stowe, son of Lyman Beecher.] We are all selfish and I no more trust myself than others with a good motive. --Lord Byron [George Gordon Byron] (17881824) English Romantic poet and satirist. Letter to Lady Melbourne [28 September 1813]. The 'common good' of a collective a race, a class, a state was the claim and justification of every tyranny ever established over men. Every major horror of history was committed in the name of an altruistic motive. Has any act of selfishness ever equaled the carnage perpetrated by disciples of altruism? Does the fault lie in men's hypocrisy or in the nature of the principle? The most dreadful butchers were the most sincere. They believed in the perfect society reached through the guillotine and the firing squad. Nobody questioned their right to murder since they were murdering for an altruistic purpose. It was accepted that man must be sacrificed for other men. Actors change, but the course of the tragedy remains the same. A humanitarian who starts with declarations of love for mankind and ends with a sea of blood. It goes on and will go on so long as men believe that an action is good if it is unselfish. That permits the altruist to act and forces his victims to bear it. The leaders of collectivist movements ask nothing for themselves. But observe the results. --Ayn Rand (19051982) Russian-born American writer. _The Fountainhead_ [1943] pt. 4, "Howard Roark" Ch. XVIII When we came to America, there were a few thousands Indians over millions of miles, and I don't feel we did wrong in taking this great country away from these people, taking their happy hunting grounds away. There were great numbers of people who needed new land, and the Indians were selfishly trying to keep it for themselves. --John Wayne [Marion Michael Morrison] (19071979) American motion-picture actor. Interview in "Playboy" [May 1971]. A man is called selfish not for pursuing his own good, but for neglecting his neighbor's. --Richard Whately (17871863) English philosopher and theologian. Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes them to live. And unselfishness is letting other people's lives alone, not interfering with them. Selfishness always aims at creating around it an absolute uniformity of type. Unselfishness recognises infinite variety of type as a delightful thing, accepts it, acquiesces in it, enjoys it. It is not selfish to think for oneself. A man who does not think for himself does not think at all. It is grossly selfish to require of one's neighbour that he should think in the same way, and hold the same opinions. Why should he? If he can think, he will probably think differently. If he cannot think, it is monstrous to require thought of any kind from him. A red rose is not selfish because it wants to be a red rose. It would be horribly selfish if it wanted all the other flowers in the garden to be both red and roses. --Oscar Wilde (18541900) Anglo-Irish dramatist and poet. "The Soul of Man under Socialism" [1891 essay] . . see "DECEPTION" for related links see "IMMORALITY" for related links Some can be bought for money And some there are that glory can buy Some yield their purity In search of security And some drown their dreams in a bottle of rye --John La Touche (19141956) American musician and writer. "Mayor Hector's Song" from the 1954 play _The Golden Apple_. Most people sell their souls, and live with a good conscience on the proceeds. --Logan Pearsall Smith (18651946) American-born man of letters. _Afterthoughts_ [1931], "Other People" ----- venal [VEE-nuhl], adjective: 1. Capable of being bought or obtained for money or other valuable consideration; held for sale; salable; purchasable. 2. Capable of being corrupted. 3. Marked by or associated with bribery and corrupt dealings. . . see "LANGUAGE" for related links I used to think I was poor. Then they told me I was not poor, I was needy. They told me it was self-defeating to think of myself as needy, I was deprived. They told me underprivileged was overused. I was disadvantaged. I still do not have a dime but I have a great vocabulary. --Jules Feiffer (1929 ) American cartoonist and author. ----- euphemism (noun) ['yu-fκ-mi-zm] A less offensive word substituted for an offensive one. janitor = custodian crippled = impaired end page | SACRED - SANTA CLAUS | SARCASM - SCHOOL | SCIENCE - SCULPTURE | SEA (THE) - SEEING | SELF - SELF-ESTEEM | SELF-EXAMINATION - SEMANTICS | SENATE (THE U.S.) - SERIOUSNESS | SEX | SEX SYMBOLS - SHEEP | SHIPS - SILENCE | SILLINESS - SINGING | SINGLE-MINDEDNESS - SKY | SLANDER - SMILES | SMOKING - SOCIETY | SOLDIERS - SOPHISTICATION | SORROW - SOUTH SEA | SPACE - SPAM | SPEECH - SPENDTHRIFTS | SPIDERS - SPY | SPORTS & SPORTSMANSHIP | STAGE (THE) - STERILIZATION | STOCK MARKET - STRANGERS | STRENGTH - SUBURBS | SUCCESS | SUFFERING - SUPREME COURT | SURPRISE - SYSTEM (THE) | | R | S | T | U - END | | Return Home | The Credits | The Cast | Act 1 | Act 2 | Act 3 | The Reviews | |
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