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. . . PUBLIC OPINION see: "THE MOB" see: "OPINION" see: "POPULARITY" see "THE HUMAN RACE" for other related links Public opinion is a permeating influence, and it exacts obedience to itself; it requires us to think other men's thoughts, to speak other men's words, to follow other men's habits. --Walter Bagehot (18261877) British economist and essayist. "Sir Robert Peel" in _Biographical Studies_ [1907] There is nothing that makes more cowards and feeble men than public opinion. --Henry Ward Beecher (18131887) American Congregational minister; [brother of Harriet Beecher Stowe, son of Lyman Beecher]. _Proverbs from Plymouth Pulpit_ [1887] If Rosa Parks had taken a poll before she sat down in the bus in Montgomery, she'd still be standing. --Mary Frances Berry (1938 ) American lawyer and administrator. In Brian Lanker "Mary Francis Berry" _I Dream a World: Portraits of Black Women Who Changed America_ [1989]. No written law has ever been more binding than unwritten custom supported by popular opinion. --Carrie Chapman Catt (18591947) American women's suffrage leader. "Why We Ask for the Submission of an Amendment," speech in Senate hearing on woman's suffrage [13 February 1900]. It is a besetting vice of democracies to substitute public opinion for law. This is the usual form in which masses of men exhibit their tyranny. --James Fenimore Cooper (17891851) American novelist. _The American Democrat_ [1838] It is said that public opinion will not bear it. Really? Public opinion, I am sorry to say, will bear a great deal of nonsense. There is scarce any absurdity so gross whether in religion, politics, science, or manners, which it will not bear. --Ralph Waldo Emerson (18031882) American philosopher and poet. Entry dated December 1827, in his _Journal_. Public opinion, a vulgar, impertinent, anonymous tyrant who deliberately makes life unpleasant for anyone who is not content to be the average man. --William Ralph Inge (18601954) English writer and Dean of St. Paul's [19111934]. "Our Present Discontents" in _Outspoken Essays: First Series_ [1919] Public opinion sets bounds to every government, and is the real sovereign in every free one. --James Madison (17511836) Fourth president of the United States [18091817]. [19 December 1791] in William T. Hutchinson {ed.} _The Papers of James Madison_ [1977], vol. 14. Public opinion, because of the tremendous urge to conformity in gregarious animals, is less tolerant than any system of law. --George Orwell [Eric Blair] (19031950) English novelist. "Politics vs. Literature: An Examination of Gulliver's Travels" [Sept.-Oct. 1946] in _The Collected Essays, Journalism and Letters of George Orwell_ vol. 4, ed. Sonia Orwell and Ian Angus [1968]. The People's Voice is odd, It is, and it is not, the voice of God. --Alexander Pope (16881744) English poet. _Imitations of Horace_ 2.1 (Epistle), 89 [1733-1738] Here is the thing you must bear in mind. I do not represent public opinion: I represent the public. There is a wide difference between the two, between the real interests of the public, and the public's opinion of these interests. --Theodore Roosevelt (18581919) American Republican statesman and President [19011909]. Interview with reporter Ray Stannard Baker [9 Feb. 1906] quoted in Edmund Morris, _Theodore Rex_. One should respect public opinion insofar as is necessary to avoid starvation and keep out of prison, but anything that goes beyond this is voluntary submission to an unnecessary tyranny. --Bertrand Russell (18721970) British philosopher, mathematician, and Nobel laureate. _The Conquest of Happiness_ [1930], ch. 9 Nothing shall I ever do for the sake of [public] opinion, everything for the sake of my conscience. --Lucius Annaeus Seneca (4 BC65 A.D.) Roman philosopher and poet. "On the Happy Life", _Moral Essays_ [Public opinion] rarely considers the needs of the next generation or the history of the last. It is frequently hampered by myths and misinformation, by stereotypes and shibboleths, and by an inate resistance to innovation. --Theodore Sorensen (1928 ) American lawyer, author, and speechwriter for President John F. Kennedy. It always has been, and will continue to be, my earnest desire to learn and to comply, as far as is consistent, with the public sentiment; but it is on *great* occasions *only*, and after time has been given for cool and deliberate reflection, that the *real* voice of the people can be known. --George Washington (17321799) American general and commander-in-chief of the colonial armies in the American Revolution [17751783] and first president of the United States [17891797]. Letter to Edward Carrington [1 May 1796].  . . see "COMMUNICATION" for related links - On the question of the logical content of Dr. Harding's harangue of last Friday, I do not presume to have views . . . .But when it comes to the style of the great man's discourse, I can speak with . . .somewhat more competence, for I have earned most of my livelihood for twenty years past by translating the bad English of a multitude of authors into measurably better English. Thus qualified professionally, I rise to pay my small tribute to Dr. Harding. Setting aside a college professor or two and half a dozen dipsomaniacal newspaper reporters, he takes the first place in my Valhalla of literati. That is, he writes the worst English that I have ever encountered. It reminds me of a string of wet sponges; it reminds me of tattered washing on the line; it reminds me of stale bean soup, of college yells, of dogs barking idiotically through endless nights. It is so bad that a sort of grandeur creeps into it. It drags itself out of the dark abysm . . . of pish, and crawls insanely up to the topmost pinnacle of posh. It is rumble and bumble. It is flap and doodle. It is balder and dash. --H.L. (Henry Louis) Mencken (1880-1956) American journalist and literary critic, in _H. L. Mencken: Thirty-five Years of Newspaper Work_ The demagogue is one who preaches doctrines he knows to be untrue to men he knows to be idiots. --H.L. (Henry Louis) Mencken (1880-1956) American journalist and literary critic. - - For a fortnight, 24 women and 22 men kept diaries of how often they engaged in various forms of sex. Then they underwent a stress test involving public speaking and performing mental arithmetic out loud. Volunteers who had had penetrative intercourse were found to be the least stressed, and their blood pressure returned to normal faster than those who had engaged in other forms of sexual activity such as masturbation.... Dr Brody found that the effect remained even after taking differences in personality and other health-related factors into account. --"Sex cuts public speaking stress.", _BBC_ [26 January 2006] ----- rostrum (noun) 1. Platform for public speaking: a platform or raised area where somebody stands to address an audience 2. Music conductors platform: a platform on a stage or in front of an orchestra where the conductor stands . . see "ACTORS" for related links I don't care what you say about me, as long as you say *something* about me, and as long as you spell my name right. --George M. Cohan (1878-1942) American songwriter, dramatist, and producer. In John McCabe, _George M. Cohan: The Man Who Owned Broadway_ Ch. 13 [1973]. Democratic nations must try to find ways to starve the terrorist and the hijacker of the oxygen of publicity on which they depend. --Margaret Thatcher (1925- ) British conservative stateswoman and Prime Minister [1979-1990]. . . see "JOURNALISM" for related links see "KNOWLEDGE" for related links The poem will please if it is lively--if it is stupid it will fail--but I will have none of your damned cutting and slashing. --Lord Byron [George Gordon Byron] (1788-1824) English Romantic poet and satirist, letter to his publisher John Murray [6 April 1819] There are three difficulties in authorship--to write anything worth the publishing, to find honest men to publish it, and to get sensible men to read it. --C.C. Colton (1780-1832) English clergyman and writer Being published by the Oxford University Press is rather like being married to a duchess: the honour is almost greater than the pleasure. --G. M. Young (1882-1959) English historian ;void(0)) PULCHRITUDE . . see: "THE BODY" A pretty girl is like a melody That haunts you night and day Just like the strain Of a haunting refrain She'll start upon A marathon And run around your brain. --Irving Berlin (1888-1989) American songwriter It was a blonde. A blonde to make a bishop kick a hole in a stained glass window. --Raymond Chandler (1888-1959) American writer of detective fiction I let go of her wrists, closed the door with my elbow and slid past her. It was like the first time. 'You ought to to carry insurance on those,' I said. --Raymond Chandler (1888-1959) American writer of detective fiction And not a girl goes walking Along the Cotswold lanes But knows men's eyes in April Are quicker than their brains. --John Drinkwater (1882-1937) English poet and dramatist, "Cotswold Love" It is no use to blame the looking glass if your face is awry. --Nikolai Gogol (1809-1852) Russian writer, _The Inspector-General_ [1836] I'm tired of all this business about beauty being only skin-deep. That's deep enough. What do you want -- an adorable pancreas? --Jean Kerr (1923- ) American writer - If I were a woman I should want to be a blonde, with golden, silky hair, pink cheeks and sky-blue eyes. It would not bother me to think that this color scheme was mistaken by the world for a flaunting badge of stupidity; I would have a better arm in my arsenal than mere intelligence; I would get a husband by easy surrender while the brunettes attempted it vainly by frontal assault. Men are not easily taken by frontal assault; it is only stratagem that can quickly knock them down. To be a blonde, pink, soft and delicate, is to be a stratagem. It is to be a ruse, a feint, an ambush. It is to fight under the Red Cross flag. A man sees nothing alert and designing in those pale, crystalline eyes; he sees only something helpless, childish, weak; something that calls to his compassion; somthing that appeals powerfully to his conceit in his own strength. And so he is taken before he knows that there is a war. He lifts his porticullis in Christian charity--and the enemy is in his citadel. The brunette can make no such stealthy and sure attack. No matter how subtle her art, she can never hope to quite conceal her intent. Her eyes give her away. They flash and glitter. They have depths. They draw the male gaze into mysterious and sinister recesses. And so the male behind the gaze flies to arms. He may be taken in the end--indeed, he usually is--but he is not taken by surprise; he is not taken without a fight. A brunette has to battle for every inch of her advance. She is confronted by an endless succession of Dead Man's Hills, each equipped with telescopes, semaphores, alarm gongs, wireless. The male sees her clearly through her densest smoke-clouds...But the blonde captures him under a flag of truce. He regards her tenderly, kindly, almost pityingly, until the moment the gyves are upon his wrists. --H.L. (Henry Louis) Mencken (1880-1956) American journalist and literary critic, "A Footnote on the Duel of Sex", _Damn! A Book of Calumny_ [1918] - Charms strike the sight, but merit wins the soul. --Alexander Pope (1688-1744) English poet, _Rape of the Lock_, canto V, l. 34 - The she shakes off the bitter web she wove And turns to set the mirror, gently, face down by the stove. She gathers up her apron in her hand, Pours a cup of coffee, drips Carnation from the can, And thinks ahead to Friday, 'cause Friday will be fine! She'll look up in that weathered face that loves hers, line for line, To see that maiden shining in his eyes And laugh at how her mirror tells her lies. --Stan Rogers (1949-1983) Canadian folk musician and composer "Goodbye," said the fox. "And now here is my secret, a very simple secret: It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye." --Antoine de Saint-Exupιry (1900-1944) French novelist, _The Little Prince_ [1943] Brains are never a handicap to a girl if she hides them under a see-through blouse. --Bobby Vinton (1935- ) American singer She was pretty as a girl in an early Charlie Chaplin movie, with that same blank look of sexy idiocy on her face. It was as if she was born to go round with subtitles: "Help me! Save me!" --Fay Weldon (1931- ) British novelist, _The Heart of the Country_ It is better to be looked over than overlooked. --Mae West (1892-1980) American stage and film actress, quoted in Joseph Weintraub _The Wit and Wisdom of Mae West_ [1967] Ain't she sweet? See her coming down the street! Now I ask you very confidentially, Ain't she sweet? Ain't she nice? Look her over once or twice. Now I ask you very confidentially, Ain't she sweet? --Jack Yellen (1892-1991) Polish-born American songwriter "Ain't She Sweet?" [song] - She has curves in places other women don't even have places. --"Hee-Haw", (television show) ;void(0)) PUNCTUALITY . . see "TIME" for related links Yogi Berra, former Yankee star and manager, has a habit of not being on time for appointments. Usually, he's about a half-hour late. One time he showed up only 15 minutes behind schedule. Proudly he proclaimed, "This is the earliest I've ever been late." The only way of catching a train I have ever discovered is to miss the train before. --G.K. (Gilbert Keith) Chesterton (18741936) English essayist, novelist, and poet. _Tremendous Trifles_ [1909] Perhaps the most valuable result of all education is the ability to make yourself to do the thing you have to do when it ought to be done whether you like it or not. It is the first lesson that ought to be learned and however early a person's training begins, it is probably the last lesson a person learns thoroughly. --T.H. (Thomas Henry) Huxley (18251895) English biologist {grandfather of Aldous Huxley}. _Collected Essays_, Vol. 3 [1896]; quoted In Larry Chang _Wisdom for the Soul: Five Millennia of Prescriptions for Spiritual Healing_, p. [2006]. After a commissioner arrived late for a meeting, Fiorello La Guardia sent him an article from a magazine about a Japanese official who had missed an appointment and been so ashamed that he committed suicide. A penciled mayoral note said, 'That is class.' --H. Paul Jeffers _The Napolean of New York_ [2002] I owe all my success in life to having been always a quarter of an hour beforehand. --Horatio Nelson (17581805) British naval commander. In Elbert Hubbard comp., _Elbert Hubbard's Scrap Book_ [1923]. Now or never was the time. --Laurence Sterne (17131768) English novelist. _Tristram Shandy_ [1760] Keeping another person waiting is a basic tactic for defining him as inferior and oneself as superior. --Thomas Szasz (1920 ) American psychiatrist. "Social Relations" in _The Second Sin_ [1973] My Aunt Minnie would always be punctual and never hold up production, but who would pay to see my Aunt Minnie? {on Marilyn Monroe's unpunctuality} --Billy Wilder (19062002) Austrian-born American film director and screenwriter. In P.F. Boller & R.L. Davis _Hollywood Anecdotes_ [1988]. - The early bird would never catch the worm if the dumb worm slept late. --anon.  PUNCTUATION . . see "LANGUAGE" for related links In writing essays, there are two things one has difficulty with - spelling and stops. Nearly everybody says it is the spelling that matters. Now spelling is one of the decencies of life, like the proper use of knives and forks. It looks slovenly and nasty if you spell wrongly, like trying to eat your soup with a fork. But, intellectually, spelling - English spelling - does not matter. Shakespeare spelt his own name at least four different ways, and it may have puzzled his cashiers at the bank. Intellectually, stops matter a great deal. If you are getting your commas, semi-colons, and full-stops wrong, it means that you are not getting your thoughts right, and your mind is muddled. --William Temple (1881-1944) English theologian and Archbishop, speech at the Royal Infant Orphanage in Wanstead [22 October 1938] - Dear Jack, I want a man who knows what love is all about. You are generous, kind, thoughtful. People who are not like you admit to being useless and inferior. You have ruined me for other men. I yearn for you. I have no feelings whatsoever when we're apart. I can be forever happy - will you let me be yours? Jill Dear Jack I want a man who knows what love is. All about you are generous, kind, thoughtful people, who are not like you. Admit to being useless and inferior. You have ruined me. For other men I yearn. For you I have no feelings whatsoever. When we're apart I can be forever happy. Will you let me be? Yours, Jill --Lynne Truss, _Eats, Shoots & Leaves_ [2003] - Woman, without her man, is nothing. Woman! Without her, man is nothing. --unknown author ;void(0)) PUNISH/PUNISHMENT . . see "CRIME & PUNISHMENT" for related links see "HOME & FAMILY" for related links We find, in the rules laid down by the greatest English judges, who have been the brightest of mankind; we are to look upon it as more beneficial, that many guilty persons should escape unpunished, than one innocent person should suffer. The reason is, because it is of more importance to the community, that innocence should be protected, than it is, that guilt should be punished; for guilt and crimes are so frequent in the world, that all of them cannot be punished; and many times they happen in such a manner, that it is not of much consequence to the public, whether they are punished or not. But when innocence itself, is brought to the bar and condemned, especially to die, the subject will exclaim, it is immaterial to me whether I behave well or ill, for virtue itself is no security. And if such a sentiment as this should take place in the mind of the subject, there would be an end to all security whatsoever. --John Adams (17351826) First VP and second President of the United States. In Frederic Kidder _History of the Boston Massacre_ [1870]. Wrong must not win by technicalities. --Aeschylus (525456 B.C.) Greek tragic dramatist. _The Eumenides_ [458 BC] The generality of men are naturally apt to be swayed by fear rather than reverence, and to refrain from evil rather because of the punishment that it brings than because of its own foulness. --Aristotle (384322 B.C.) Greek philosopher. _Nicomachean Ethics_, bk. X, ch. 9 He that spareth his rod hateth his son. --Bible "Proverbs" 13:24 Hanging is too good for him, said Mr. Cruelty. --John Bunyan (16281688) English writer and allegorist. _The Pilgrim's Progress_ [1678] "Apology for His Book" Those who consent to the act and those who do it shall be equally punished. --Sir Edward Coke (15521634) English writer on law. Better build schoolrooms for 'the boy', Than cells and gibbets for 'the man'. --Eliza Cook (18181889) English poet. "A Song for the Ragged Schools" [1853] If people are good only because they fear punishment, and hope for reward, then we are a sorry lot indeed. --Albert Einstein (18791955) German-American physicist who developed the special and general theories of relativity. Take heed: Most Men will cheat without Scruple where they can do it without Fear. --Thomas Fuller (16541734) English writer and physician. Comp., _Introductio ad Prudentiam_ [1731] Men are not hanged for stealing horses, but that horses may not be stolen. --George Savile, 1st Marquess Halifax (16331695) English politician and essayist. _Political, Moral, and Miscellaneous Thoughts and Reflections_ [1750] "Of Punishment" What other dungeon is so dark as one's own heart! What jailer so inexorable as one's self! --Nathaniel Hawthorne (18041864) American novelist and short-story writer. _The House of the Seven Gables_ [1851] The seeds of our own punishment are sown at the same time we commit sin. --Hesiod (c. 700 B.C.) Greek poet. We are not punished for our sins, but by them. --Elbert Hubbard (18591915) American editor, publisher, and author who died in the sinking of the "Lusitania." _The Roycroft Dictionary and Book of Epigrams_ [1923] I'd horsewhip you if I had a horse. --Bert Kalmar (18841947) American lyricist and screenwriter, & S.J. Perelman (19041979) American humorist and author, & Harry Ruby (18951974) American songwriter and screenwriter. In _Horse Feathers_ [1932 film], spoken by Groucho Marx. This year in October [1613], the Turks observed their feasts of Bayram ... a Turk having drunk wine too freely (the drinking whereof is forbidden amongst them, although they love it well, and drink in private) was apprehended, and carried before the Grand Vizier: who seeing the fact verified, inflicted this punishment upon him, to have boiling lead poured into his mouth and ears. --Richard Knolles (c.15451610 ) English historian. In M.J. Cohan and John Major (eds.) _History in Quotations_ [2004] p. 265. The sins of youth are paid for in old age. --Latin proverb Society needs to condemn a little more and understand a little less. --John Major (1943 ) The youngest British prime minister of the 20th century [19901997]. Interview with "Mail on Sunday" [21 February 1993]. A Chicago high school punished truants by making them listen to Frank Sinatra records. --Bill Mandel "The Year 1992: Calling It Like It Was" _San Francisco Sunday Examiner and Chronicle_ [20 December 1992] The idea that the sole aim of punishment is to prevent crime is obviously grounded upon the theory that crime can be prevented, which is almost as dubious as the notion that poverty can be prevented. --H.L. (Henry Louis) Mencken (18801956) American journalist and literary critic. ^ From the Denver Post. A chief lieutenant in a violent drug and prostitution ring run out of an Adams County motel was handed a stiff sentence Monday. Alvin Hutchinson received three life sentences and and five 30-year sentences, followed by six years of supervised release, all to run concurrently. --_New Yorker_ (magazine) [24 December 2007] ^ Distrust all men in whom the impulse to punish is powerful. --Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche (18441900) German classical scholar, philosopher, and critic of culture. _Thus Spake Zarathustra_ [1892], pt. II, ch. 29 For de little stealin' dey gits you in jail soon or late. For de big stealin' dey makes you Emperor and puts you in de Hall o' Fame when you croaks. --Eugene O'Neill (18881953) American and winner of the Nobel Prize for Literature in 1936. _The Emperor Jones_ [1921] An avidity to punish is always dangerous to liberty. It leads men to stretch, to misinterpret, and to misapply even the best of laws. He that would make his own liberty secure, must guard even his enemy from opposition; for if he violates this duty he establishes a precedent that will reach to himself. --Thomas Paine [spelled Pane prior to 1774] (17371809) English-American writer and political pamphleteer. _Dissertation on First Principles of Government_ [1795] If he who breaks the law is not punished, he who obeys it is cheated. This, and this alone, is why law-breakers ought to be punished: to authenticate as good, and to encourage as useful, law-abiding behavior. The aim of criminal law cannot be correction or deterrence; it can only be maintenence of the legal order. --Thomas Szasz (1920 ) American psychiatrist. _The Second Sin_ [1973] "Punishment" Madame would make her toilette at dawn, seated in her bedroom. Her hundred serfs, young and old, male and female, would all come to report on what they had been doing. Madame would pick out the laziest and have them given a flogging. For those who had toiled diligently she would prepare a goblet of wine with her own hand and mix in marrow to make it ready for drinking. Those who tasted this wine would leave flushed with happiness, and compete with each other to work hard, unmindful of their burdens. Those who had been beaten would blame themselves and say, 'What point is there in not making every effort for her ladyship, and being rewarded with a beaker of wine?' In this way everyone whom Madame employed proved himself capable; her lands supported cattle by the hundred, her streams bred fish and turtles by the picul, and her gardeners tended fruit, melon, mustard, and vegetables by the tens of acres. --Wang Shizhen (16th century); in M.J. Cohan and John Major {ed.} _History in Quotations_ [2004]. Cohan and Major note: A not untypical estate owned by a family of the official class in mid-Ming times (1450-1600). 'Madame' was the aunt of Wang Shizhen, a well-known bureaucrat and the author of these lines. He gained the highest degree in the official examinations between 1522 and 1566. According to the law, only official families were allowed to own serfs, but various subterfuges (such as fictive 'adoption') were used to get round this, and it is hard to know how widespread the practice was. A picul was a traditional measure of capacity, about a tenth of a cubic yard. You end up as you deserve. In old age you must put up with the face, the friends, the health, and the children you have earned. --Fay Weldon (1931 ) British novelist. In Randy Voorhees _Old Age Is Always 15 Years Older Than I Am_, p. 87 [2001]. - Excessive bail shall not be required, nor excessive fines imposed, not cruel and unusual punishment inflicted. --Constitution of the United States [1787] Eighth Amendment [1791] ----- castigate [KAS-tuh-gayt], transitive verb: To punish severely; also, to chastise verbally; to rebuke; to criticize severely. condign [kuhn-DINE; KON-dine], adjective: Suitable to the fault or crime; deserved; adequate. Ex.: He is a violent criminal and, like other criminals, he should be brought to condign punishment. --Kwasi Kwarteng, "The boy from Brazil should be behind bars," _Daily Telegraph_ [14 November 1997] Synonyms: fitting, due, merited. draconian (adj.) [drκ -'ko-ni-yκn] Relating to painfully harsh or severe measures. Etymology: From Greek drakon "dragon" which was also the family name of Draco, archon of Athens in 621 B.C., known for his harsh laws. expiate (verb) ['ek-spee-yeyt] To atone for; to repay one's debt for an offense. gauntlet (noun) ['gant-let] (1) The glove of a suit of armor. (2) Two lines of tormentors with flailing sticks between which someone must run as punishment or initiation. lenity LEN-uh-tee, noun: The state or quality of being lenient; mildness; gentleness of treatment; leniency. Ex.: And what makes robbers bold but too much lenity? William Shakespeare, _Henry VI_, part III mulct [MULKT], noun: A fine or penalty. transitive verb: 1. To punish for an offense or misdemeanor by imposing a fine or demanding a forfeiture. 2. To obtain by fraud or deception. 3. To defraud; to swindle. Ex.: Officials repaid such loans by mulcting the public in a variety of legal and extra-legal ways. --William H. McNeill, _A World History_ pillory (noun) ['pi-lκ-ree] A frame with holes for the head and hands (the stocks) and the post on which it stands. It was designed as a form of punishment that exposed offenders to the community as an example. Used as a verb, "pillory" now means to viciously chastise someone publicly or subject them to extreme public scorn or ridicule. proscribe (verb) [pro-'skrIb ] To prohibit or forbid as a bad practice. proscriptive (adj.) proscription.(noun)  PUNS . . see "HUMOR" for related links - Hanging is too good for a man who makes puns; he should be drawn and quoted. --Fred Allen [John Florence Sullivan] (18941956) American humorist. As one hyphen said to the other hyphen, let's get together and make a dash. --Fred Allen [John Florence Sullivan] (18941956) American humorist. - A man who could make so vile a pun would not scruple to pick a pocket. --John Dennis (16571734) English critic and poet. Editorial note in "The Gentleman's Magazine" [1781]. People that make puns are like wanton boys that put coppers on the railroad tracks. --Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr. (18091894) American physician, poet, and essayist. _The Autocrat of the Breakfast-Table_ [1858] Many of us can still remember the social nuisance of the inveterate punster. This man followed conversation as a shark follows a ship. --Stephen Butler Leacock (18691944) Canadian humorist. _The Boy I Left Behind Me_ [1947] ...Arthur [Loesser] was the brother of the Broadway lyricist Frank Loesser, who said that, as between the siblings, he was "the eviler of the two Loessers." --James Penrose "Building a musical instrument and a company " reviewing _Piano_ by James Barron in _The Wall Street Journal_, July 15, 2006. The noblest of all dogs is the hot-dog; it feeds the hand that bites it. --Laurence J. Peter (19191990) Canadian teacher and author. _Quotations for Our Times_ [1977] - After eating his entree at the mess hall the soldier went AWOL to binge on chocolate eclairs. He was charged for being a desserter. --anon. - Time's fun when you're having flies. --Kermit the Frog Q: What did Big Ben say to the Leaning Tower of Pisa? A: I've got the time if you've got the inclination. --Christmas Cracker - I had a dream the other night. I was in the old West riding in a stagecoach. Suddenly, a man riding a horse pulled up to the left side of the stagecoach, and a riderless horse pulled up on the right. The man leaned down, pulled open the door, and jumped off his horse into the stagecoach. Then he opened the other door and jumped onto the other horse. Just before he rode off, I yelled out, "What was that all about?" He replied, "Nothing. It's just a stage I'm going through." -- Two buffaloes were grazing contentedly on the open prairie when a cowboy rode up. Looking the animals over, he shook his head and said, "You two are the ugliest buffaloes I ever saw. Look at you your fur is tangled, you have humps on your backs and you slobber all over the place." As the cowboy rode off, the first buffalo remarked to the second, "I think I just heard a discouraging word." - Historians have recently discovered that Annie Oakley, famed sharp-shooter of the Old West, had a sister. The sister, Carrie, gained some renown in her day as a singer in various saloons throughout the West, but it was not until after her death that she was very widely known. Today, countless bars are dedicated to Carrie Oakley. . . see "LIFE" for related links see "SUCCESS" for related links Here is a test to find whether your mission on earth is finished: If you're alive, it isn't. --Richard Bach (1936 ) American writer. _Illusions_ [1977] I shall tell you a great secret my friend. Do not wait for the last judgement, it takes place every day. --Albert Camus (19131960) French novelist, dramatist, and essayist who won the 1957 Nobel Prize for Literature. The secret of success is constancy of purpose. --Benjamin Disraeli (18041881) British Tory statesman, novelist, and Prime Minister [1868, 18741880]. In _The Book of Positive Quotations_, {comp. by John Cook}, p. 641 [2007]. Strange is our situation here on earth. Each of us comes for a short visit, not knowing why, yet sometimes seeming to divine a purpose. --Albert Einstein (18791955) German-American physicist who developed the special and general theories of relativity. Opening lines of his essay in Living Philosophies (1931), reprinted in Clifton Fadiman (ed) _Living Philosophies_ [1990]. It is not enough for me to ask questions; I want to know how to answer the one question that seems to encompass everything I face: What am I here for? --Abraham Joshua Heschel (19071972) Jewish theologian and philosopher. _Who Is Man_ [1965], Ch. 4 Great minds have great purposes, others have wishes. Little minds are tamed and subdued by misfortune; but great minds rise above them. --Washington Irving (17831859) American writer. To love the worthy people who surround me, shun the evil ones, enjoy the good things in life, endure the bad, and remember to forget. This is my optimism. It has helped me to live. May it help you also. --Andrι Maurois (18851967) (pseudonym of Ιmile Salomon Wilhelm Herzog) French author. _Lettres a l'Inconnu_ I cannot believe that the purpose of life is to be "happy." I think the purpose of life is to be useful, to be responsible, to be compassionate. It is, above all, to matter: to count, to stand for something, to have made some difference that you lived at all. --Leo Rosten (19081997) Polish-born American writer and social scientist. _Passions and Prejudices_ - The Useless Tree One spring, as peach blossoms filled the valley below with a spray of white fragrance, an ancient sage wandered the Heights of Shang. There on a hillside stripped of everything else, he saw a large and extraordinary tree. So huge it was, the horses that drew a hundred chariots could be sheltered under its shade. "What a tree this is!" he thought. Imagining the amount of timber it must contain, he marvelled that the tree had never been cut down. But as he sat beneath it and looked up into the tree's branches, he saw how twisted and crooked they were. Turning in every direction, none of them were large enough to be made into rafters or beams. He reached up and broke off a twig, tasting the sap. It was sharp and bitter. "This tree would be useless for tapping," he concluded, "producing no syrup of any worth." The leaves, too, gave off an offensive odour as he broke them. They were too fragile to be woven into mats or braided into baskets. They would not even make good mulch! Even the roots, as he studied them, were so gnarled and notty that one could never carve a bowl or fashion a fine decorative box out of them. The sage said at last; "This, indeed, is a tree good for nothing! That is why it has reached so great an age. The cinnamon tree can be eaten; so it is cut down. The varnish tree is useful, and therefore incisions are made in it. We all know the advantage of being useful, but only this tree knows the advantage of being useless!" The wise man sat in the shade of that great tree for the rest of the day, as a light wind drifted up from the valley below. He breathed the scent of distant peach blossoms and sat in studied silence, happily contemplating his own uselessness. --anon. end page | PACIFISM & PAIN | PAINTING - PARENTING | PARIS - PASSPORTS | PAST (THE) - PATRIOTISM | PEACE - PERCENTAGES | PEOPLE | PERCEPTIONS - PERSUASION | PESSIMISM - PHOBIAS | PHONIES - PHYSICS | PI - PLANS | PLACES | PLANTS - POETRY | POISON - POLITICAL PARTIES | POLITICS & POLITICIANS | POLLS - POPES | POPEYE - POTENTIAL | POVERTY | POWER | PRACTICALITY - PRAYER | PREACHERS - PREPARED (BE) | PRESENT (THE) - PRETENDING | PRETENTIONS - PRIVACY | PROBLEMS - PROGRESSIVES | PROGRESS - PROPAGANDA | PROPOSALS - PUBLIC (THE) | PUBLIC OPINION - PURPOSE (ON HAVING A) | QUALITIES - QUIPS | QUIRKS - QUOTATIONS | | H | I - J | K - L | M | N - O | P - Q | | Return Home | The Credits | The Cast | Act 1 | Act 2 | Act 3 | The End | The Reviews | Photos | |
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