OLD-FASHIONED


Return Home	The Credits	The Cast	Act 1	Act 2	Act 3	The Reviews


	OLD-FASHIONED --- OLYMPICS OOPS! --- OPEN-MINDED OPERA . . . OLD-FASHIONED see: "LIFESTYLE" for related links But the music that excels is the sound of oil wells As they slurp, slurp, slurp into the barrels I want an old-fashioned house With an old-fashioned fence And an old-fashioned millionaire. --Marve Fisher American songwriter, 'An Old-Fashioned Girl" [1954 song] ----- troglodyte (noun) 1. cave dweller: somebody living in a cave, especially somebody who belonged to a prehistoric cave-dwelling community. 2. somebody living in seclusion: a solitary person who lives alone, especially somebody who is antisocial or unconventional. OLYMPICS . . Photograph: Tug-of-war in the St. Louis 1904 Olympics. see: "COMPETITION" see: "SPORTS" - Observations from athletes competing in the 2006 Winter Olympics: Not only was I dying, but everybody has the same problem in the last lap. I hope the skaters coming next have the same problem. --Beorn Nijenhuis, Netherlands speedskating Even though they were booing, it's nice to have an atmosphere. --Rhona Martin, British curling [Asked about his expectation of winning metals:] "We have none." --Fabio Morandini Italian Nordic combined coach I dedicate this victory, especially to myself. --Cristian Zorzi, Italy cross country It is very heavy and hard, but all Olympic metals are also very heavy and hard. --Kati Wilhelm, German biathlon It's definitely frustrating. We're having a lot of chances, but we've got to get more simplistic. --Doug Weight, USA hockey From _The Wall Street Journal_ [25 February 2006]. - "The Olympics of 1904" by Cynthia Crossen in _The Wall Street Journal_ [11 August 2004]. The first Olympics held in America — in St. Louis in the summer of 1904 — nearly put an end to the modern games. Not that the previous Olympic games, held in Paris in 1900, were a paragon of efficiency and virtue. There, the facilities were poor — there was no flat track for the sprinters, and groves of trees encroached on the hammer-and discus-throwing fields. Marathon runners faced an unfamiliar and complicated course through Paris; the winner, a Parisian, was accused of taking shortcuts. "A slipshod affair," writes William O. Johnson Jr., author of "All That Glitters Is Not Gold." But the St. Louis games featured some of the most comedic and disgraceful moments in Olympic history. Because transoceanic travel was slow and expensive, only 12 countries were represented. In some events, all the competitors were American; little wonder that American athletes won 238 medals — 223 more than the second-place Germans. An American gymnast named George Eyser won six medals, including three gold, despite having a wooden leg. It was "an Olympics best forgotten," Mr. Johnson notes. Yet it would be unfortunate if the story of prankster-runner Fred Lorz were lost to history. Mr. Lorz, a resident of New York City, came to St. Louis to run the marathon. So did a Cuban mailman, Felix Carvajal, whose only training was delivering letters on foot around his native island. Mr. Carvajal ran the race in black oxfords with leather soles and heels. In all, 32 men crossed the starting line at about 3 p.m. on Aug. 30 and began the 24.85-mile course. It was a hot day — 82 degrees in the shade — and the runners soon found themselves on unpaved rural roads, where they were preceded and trailed by cars carrying judges, doctors and journalists. The vehicles kicked up so much dust that the competitors choked and sputtered as they jogged. One runner was later hospitalized for dust inhalation. At the nine-mile mark, Mr. Lorz dropped out of the race and caught a ride back to the stadium, where the marathon had begun. At the 19-mile mark, Mr. Lorz's car overheated and came to a stop. Rather than wait for roadside assistance, a revived Mr. Lorz decided to run the rest of the way. As he loped into the stadium, the crowd began to cheer his victory. Race officials congratulated him, and Mr. Lorz, known as a practical joker, played along. Only when he was on the verge of accepting the gold medal did he admit what had happened. Meanwhile, back on the track, one of the black South African runners had been chased off course by two large dogs. Mr. Carvajal grabbed some apples from an orchard and was temporarily stalled by stomach cramps. (He eventually finished fourth.) Thomas Hicks, several miles from the finish, begged to quit, but his handlers coaxed him along with small doses of sulfate of strychnine — a stimulant for the central nervous system — mixed with raw egg whites and mouthfuls of brandy. Mr. Hicks won the race, but lost 10 pounds doing it, write David Martin and Roger Gynn, authors of "The Olympic Marathon." Only 14 of the 32 starters made it to the finish line. In the 400-meter race, 13 runners were entered in the final, and the track had no lanes. "One can only imagine the chaos," writes David Wallechinsky in "The Complete Book of the Olympics." A first-round winner in boxing was discovered to be using a false name, and the swimming events took place in an asymmetrical lake that made it very difficult to measure distances. Held in conjunction with the World's Fair and Louisiana Purchase Exposition, the St. Louis Olympics also were the first and last games to feature a separate competition for "uncivilized tribes" — Pygmies, Sioux, Patagonians — in what were billed as "Anthropology Days." The events included not only running and throwing, but also pole climbing and a mud fight. [...] - I think my favorite sport in the Olympics is the one in which you make your way through the snow, you stop, you shoot a gun, and then you continue on. In most of the world, it is known as the biathlon, except in New York City, where it is known as winter. --Michael Ventre, "L.A. Daily News" - [February 2008 news blurb:] President Felipe Calderon of Mexico has announced that Mexico will not participate in the Beijing Summer Olympics. He stated: "Todos los ciudadanos que pueden saltar, brincar or nadar han salido del pais con anterioridad." Translation: "Pretty much everyone who can run, jump, or swim has already left the country." - OOPS! . . see: "MISTAKES" for related links No reader interest. --publisher W H Allen rejecting Frederick Forsyth's _The Day of the Jackal_. Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we. --George W. Bush (b. 1946) The 43rd President of the United States and a former Governor of Texas. Remarks at signing of an appropriations bill [5 August 2004]. Shakespeare's name, you may depend on it, stands absolutely too high and will go down. --Lord Byron [George Gordon Byron] (1788—1824) English Romantic poet and satirist. Letter to James Hogg [March 1814]. Ah, isn't that nice, the wife of the Cambridge President is kissing the cox of the Oxford crew. --Attributed remark of Harry Carpenter, BBC TV, at the Oxford-Cambridge boat race [1977]. ... Forevermore, when I hear the name Estee Lauder, I'll remember the time she told a wealthy customer that she could make her face creams last longer by storing them in the refrigerator. The labels came off in the cold, and the customer's maid served face cream at a formal dinner as mayonnaise. Oops. --Paul Carroll reviewing Todd G. Buchholz _New Ideas From Dead CEOs_ in "The Wall Street Journal" [27 June 2007]. [Headline about U.S. election:] Dewey Defeats Truman. --"Chicago Tribune" [3 November 1948] (See photo above.) Nobody now fears that a Japanese fleet could deal an unexpected blow on our Pacific possession. ... Radio makes surprise impossible. --Josephus Daniels (1862—1948) American politician, newspaper publisher & Secretary of the U.S. Navy [1912-20]. Speech in North Carolina [16 October 1922]. You care for nothing but shooting, dogs, and rat-catching, and you will be a disgrace to yourself and all your family. --Charles Darwin's father, remark to his son. In Francis Darwin (ed.) _The Life and Letters of Charles Darwin_ [2 vols., 1887]. Only one thing would be worse than the status quo. And that would be for the status quo to become the norm. --Elizabeth Dole (b. 1936) American administrator and politician; U.S. senator [2002-09]. In a 1999 campaign speech. Stocks have reached what looks like a permanently high plateau. --Irving Fisher (1867—1947) American professor of economics at Yale University. Speech to the Purchasing Agents Association [16 October 1929]. - With his high cheekbones, narrow eyes and long brown robe, Mr Bin Laden looks every inch the mountain warrior of mujahedin legend. Chadored children danced in front of him, preachers acknowledged his wisdom. ''We have been waiting for this road through all the revolutions in Sudan,'' a sheikh said. ''We waited until we had given up on everybody — and then Osama Bin Laden came along.'' Outside Sudan, Mr Bin Laden is not regarded with quite such high esteem. The Egyptian press claims he brought hundreds of former Arab fighters back to Sudan from Afghanistan, while the Western embassy circuit in Khartoum has suggested that some of the ''Afghans'' whom this Saudi entrepreneur flew to Sudan are now busy training for further jihad wars in Algeria, Tunisia and Egypt. Mr Bin Laden is well aware of this. ''The rubbish of the media and the embassies,'' he calls it. ''I am a construction engineer and an agriculturalist. If I had training camps here in Sudan, I couldn't possibly do this job." --Robert Fisk, "Anti-Soviet warrior puts his army on the road to peace", _The Independent_ [6 December 1993] - Bullets have little stopping-power against the horse. --Douglas Haig, 1st Earl Haig (1861—1928) British soldier and senior commander during World War I. [1914 observation.] You're the only damn fool in New York who would publish it. --Alfred Harcourt, president of Harcourt, Brace, admonishing his editor, Harrison Smith, for buying the rights to publish William Faulkner's _The Sound and the Fury_ [29 February 1929]. - "Careless Talk" by Mark Hollis Bill Was ill. In his deliruim He talked about Miriam. This was an error As his wife was a terror Known As Joan. - President Hoover predicted today that the worst effect of the crash on unemployment will have passed during the next 60 days. --Washington dispatch [8 March 1930] Space travel is bunk. --Sir Harold Spencer Jones (1890—1960) 10th astronomer royal of England [1933-55]. In 1957, two weeks before the launch of Sputnik. Democracy as we conceive it in the US will not survive in Britain or France after the war. --Joseph P. Kennedy (1888—1969) American financier. London, 1939, quoted in Boris Johnson _Lend Me Your Ears_, p. 302 [2003[. - All free men, wherever they may live, are citizens of Berlin. And therefore, as a free man, I take pride in the words 'Ich bin ein Berliner.' --John Fitzgerald Kennedy (1917—1963) American Democratic statesman, President of the U.S. [1961-63]. Address at City Hall, West Berlin [26 June 1963]. & note: What [Kenedy's speech writers] did not know, but could easily have found out, was that such citizens never refer to themselves as 'Berliners.' They reserve that term for a favorite confection, often munched at breakfast. So while they understood and appreciated the sentiments behind the President's impassioned declaration, the residents tittered among themselves when he exclaimed, literally, 'I am a jelly-filled donut.' --_New York Times_ [30 April 1988] - Television won't matter in your lifetime or mine. --Rex Lambert, editor of "Radio Times" [1936]. The atom bomb will never go off — and I speak as an expert in explosives. --William D. Leahy (1875—1959) American naval officer. Attributed 1945 remark to President Truman quoted in "Liberal Education" [1973]. - [Of Hitler:] ... a born leader ... I only wish we had a man of his supreme quality at the head of affairs in our country today. --David Lloyd George (1863—1945) Welsh-born British Prime Minister [1916—1922]. Letter to T.P. Conwell-Evans [1937]. & note: Rhapsodized Hearstian British Press Tycoon Viscount Rothermere: "The most prominent figure in the world today is Adolf Hitler. His mastermind magnetizes the whole field of foreign politics. ... He eats no meat, and has followed Mussolini in giving up both alcohol and tobacco — a practice to whose benefits I myself can testify. Hitler takes practically no exercise. ... Music is, indeed, the only influence which can relax the Chancellor's stern self-control. ... His love for children and for dogs ... Hitler is in the direct tradition of the great leaders of mankind who appear rarely more often than once in two or three centuries. He is the incarnation of the spirit of the German race. ... I am profoundly convinced that the better he is known to the mass of the British nation the higher its appreciation of him will be. ... The future of this country, as the greatest world Power, is bound up with the actions of this man who is the uncontested ruler of the strongest Continental nation." --'North Sea Nexus', _Time_ (magazine) [24 June 1935] - ^^ John Pierpont Morgan, Sr. (1837—1913) American banker, financier, and benefactor of the arts. Morgan's nose was disfigured by a skin disease that made it swollen and fiery. People, while pretending politely not to notice anything extraordinary, were nonetheless mesmerized by it. There is the story of the nervous hostess at the tea table , who inquired, "Do you take nose in your tea, Mr. Morgan?" --_Bartlett's Book of Anecdotes_ edited by Clifton Fadiman and André Bernard [2000 ed.] ^^ [When Robert Fulton explained the concept of his steamboat:] What, sir, you would make a ship sail against the wind and currents by lighting a bonfire under her decks? I pray you excuse me. I have no time for such nonsense. --Napoleon I (1769—1821) Emperor of France [1804-15]. c. 1807, quoted in William Earl Parrish, Charles T. Jones & Lawrence O. Christensen _Missouri: The Heart of the Nation_ [1980]. Flights by machine heavier than air is unpractical and insignificant, if not utterly impossible. --Simon Newcomb (1835—1909) Canadian-born American astronomer and mathematician. (Eighteen months before the Wright brothers' flight at Kitty Hawk.) Quoted in Stephen Pile _The Book of Heroic Failures_ [1980]. You may remember that the Dial Press had been asking me for some years for a manuscript, but when I sent the [manuscript] of AF [Animal Farm] they returned it, saying shortly that, 'it was impossible to sell animal stories in the USA.' --George Orwell [Eric Blair] (1903—1950) English novelist. Letter to Leonard Moore [23 February 1946], in _The Collected Essays, Journalism and Letters of George Orwell_ vol. 4, ed. Sonia Orwell and Ian Angus [1968]. [Remark to British students in China:] You shouldn't stay here too long, or you'll turn slitty-eyed. --Prince Philip, Duke of Edinburgh (b. 1921) Consort of Queen Elizaberh II. At Beijing University, Beijing, China [March 1986]. - What a waste it is to lose one's mind — or not to have a mind. How true that is. --Dan Quayle (b. 1947) Vice-President of the United States [1989—1993]. Speech to United Negro College Fund, Washington, D.C. [9 May 1989]. We are ready for any unforeseen event that may or may not occur. --Dan Quayle (b. 1947) Vice-President of the United States [1989-93]. Quoted in "The Plain Dealer" (Cleveland) [1990] If you give a person a fish, they'll fish for a day. But if you train a person to fish, they'll fish for a lifetime. --Dan Quayle (b. 1947) Vice-President of the United States [1989-93]. Quoted in "New York Times" [14 October 1992]. - - Gene Rayburn (1917—1999) American actor and game-show host. ... Game shows became his turf, and his "Match Game" tenure survived one hilarious blooper. Interviewing a contestant and meaning to compliment her dimples, he looked at her face and said, "you have the most beautiful nipples I have ever seen." --Quoted in David Tanny "Gene Rayburn Obituary: A Favorite Passes On" [1999]. - [Of Winser's proposal to light cities with gaslight:] There is a madman proposing to light the London streets with smoke. --Sir Walter Scott (1771—1832) Scottish novelist and poet. Quoted in Charles John Smith _Parnell, or Ireland and America_ [2nd ed., 1880]. Jupiter's moons are invisible to the naked eye and therefore can have no influence on the earth, and therefore would be useless, and therefore do not exist. --Francesco Sizzi, professor of astronomy [1610] Quoted in similar form in Amabel Williams-Ellis _Men Who Found Out Stories Of Great Scientific Discoveries_ [1930]. Wherever I go in this country, people know there is a problem. --Billy Snedden (1926—1987) Australian Liberal politician. Attributed remark, supposedly while campaigning in 1974. [Critique of Beethoven's Fifth Symphony:] An orgy of vulgar noise. --Louis Spohr (1784—1859) German composer, violinist, and conductor. Quoted in Sir Donald Francis Tovey _Essays in Musical Analysis_ [1935-39]. Gaiety is the outstanding feature of the Soviet Union. --Joseph Vissarionovich Stalin (1879—1953), Soviet Communist leader and head of the USSR from the death of V. I. Lenin (1924) until his own death. (Attributed 1935 comment.) [Attributed 1901 remark to Anton Chekhov after seeing Uncle Vanya:] You know I can't stand Shakespeare's plays, but yours are even worse. --Leo Tolstoy (1828—1910) Russian novelist. [After an interview with Hitler in 1936.] [I am] convinced of his sincerity in desiring peace in Europe. --Arnold Toynbee (1889—1975) English historian. Quoted in H.R. Trevor-Roper "Arnold Toynbee's Millennium" in _Encounter_ [June 1957]. Television won't be able to hold on to any market it captures after the first six months. People will soon get tired of staring at a plywood box every night. --Darryl F. Zanuck (1902—1979) American producer, writer, actor and director who headed 20th Century Fox. 1946 remark quoted by Daniel Cohen in _The Millennium_ [1998]. There's talk of war. It will never happen. The Germans haven't the credits. --The Governor of the Bank of England [1914] Magazines and newspapers nowadays are filled with articles saying that television has at last come to America. But has it? ... Today, in millions of homes, the radio is turned on all day long while the housewife goes about her daily tasks. But television requires that the spectator sit still and look; he can't combine it with other occupations. If you are a workingman, tired after a hard day, would you rather lie down and listen to a radio program of your favorite music or sit up straight and watch a television performance of a few vaudeville acts? --"Ike and Mike on the Air," [17 May 1939] It is difficult to see how the Wall Street crash can seriously affect general prosperity or even foretell its fate. --"Wall Street and Prosperity" [6 November 1929] That rainbow song's no good. Take it out. --MGM memo after first showing of "The Wizard Of Oz" You'd better learn secretarial skills or else get married. --Modelling agency, rejecting Marilyn Monroe in 1944. We don't like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out. --Decca Recording Co., rejecting the Beatles in 1962 No boy may go ice skating on any water not passed by the headmaster. --Eton School Notice You ought to go back to driving a truck. --Concert manager, firing Elvis Presley in 1954. Can't act. Can't sing. Slightly bald. Can dance a little. --a film company's verdict on Fred Astaire's 1928 screen test. Forget it. No Civil War picture ever made a nickel. --MGM executive, advising against investing in "Gone With The Wind." - An Aussie radio announcer was sacked for advertising a then popular brand of sandwich/toast topping with- "Men, does your wife have Leggos Spread for you when you come home for lunch?" - Young Einstein's father once asked the boy's headmaster what career his son should follow. "It doesn't matter," replied the headmaster, "_He_ will never make a success of anything." - OPEN-MINDED . . see: "BELIEF" see: "THE MIND" for other related links Cursed is he that does not know when to shut his mind. An open mind is all very well in its way, but it ought not to be so open that there is no keeping anything in or out of it. It should be capable of shutting its doors sometimes, or may be found a little draughty. --Samuel Butler (1835—1902) English novelist, essayist, and critic. _The Note-Books of Samuel Butler_, ed. Henry Festing Jones [1907], "Falsehood" Minds are like parachutes: they only function when open. --Thomas Robert Dewar (1864—1930) Scottish distiller. Quoted in Evan Esar _The Dictionary of Humorous Quotations_ [1949]. A closed mind is a dying mind. --Edna Ferber (1887—1968) American novelist and short-story writer. _Bravo_ [1949], with George S. Kaufman Education's purpose is to replace an empty mind with an open one. --Malcolm S. Forbes (1917—1990) Publisher of "Forbes" magazine founded by his father B.C. Forbes. Quoted in John Bear _Bear's Guide to Earning Non-Traditional College Degrees_, p. 5 [1988]. The only means of strengthening one's intellect is to make up one's mind about nothing — to let the mind be a thoroughfare for all thoughts. --John Keats (1795—1821) English poet. Letter to George and Georgiana Keats [24 September 1819]. There is a principle which is a bar against all information, which is proof against all arguments and which cannot fail to keep a man in everlasting ignorance. That principle is contempt prior to investigation. --William Paley (1743—1805) English theologian and philosopher. Quoted in William Henry Poole _Anglo-Israel; or, The British Nation The Lost Tribes of Israel_ [1879]. - A great many open minds ought to be closed for repairs. --anon. OPERA . . see: "MUSIC" for related links see: "ENTERTAINMENT, HOBBIES, & LEISURE ACTIVITIES" for related links - At the opera in Milan with my daughter and me, Needleman leaned out of his box and fell into the orchestra pit. Too proud to admit it was a mistake, he attended the opera every night for a month and repeated it each time. --Woody Allen [Allen Stewart Konigsberg] (b. 1935) American actor, screenwriter, and director. "Remembering Needleman" in _Side Effects_ [1980]. [Larry Lipton (Woody Allen) speaking:] I can't listen to that much Wagner, ya know? I start getting the urge to conquer Poland. --Woody Allen [Allen Stewart Konigsberg] (b. 1935) American actor, screenwriter, and director. "Manhattan Murder Mystery" [1993 film] - No opera plot can be sensible, for in sensible situations people do not sing. --W.H. [Wystan Hugh] Auden (1907—1973) English-born poet and man of letters. Quoted in Gervase Hughes _The Music Lover's Companion_ [1971]. People are wrong when they say that the opera isn't what it used to be. It is what it used to be — that's what's wrong with it. --Noël Coward (1899—1973) English playwright, actor, and composer. "Design for Living", III, i [1932] Blanche - I think we've slept together once? Adrian - I don't remember. Blanche - At the opera. During Bérénice. --Ronald Firbank (1886—1926) British novelist. "The Princess Zoubaroff" [1920] Opera is when a guy gets stabbed in the back and, instead of bleeding, he sings. --Ed Gardner (1901—1963) American radio comedian. In _Duffy's Tavern_, a U.S. radio program [c. 1940s]. Tenors get women by the score. --James Joyce (1882—1941) Irish novelist. _Ulysses_ [1922] Going to the opera, like getting drunk, is a sin that carries its own punishment with it, and that a very severe one. --Hannah More (1745—1833) English religious writer. Letter to her sister [1775] in _The Letters of Hannah More_ [1925]. I sometimes wonder which would be nicer — an opera without an interval, or an interval without an opera. --Ernest Newman, in Heyworth ed., _Berlioz, Romantic and Classic_ [1972]. _Parsifal_ is the kind of opera that starts at six o'clock. After it has been going three hours, you look at your watch and it says 6:20. --David Randolph - One can't judge Wagner's opera Lohengrin after a first hearing, and I certainly don't intend to hear it a second time. --Gioacchino Rossini (1792—1868) Italian composer. Attributed in Frank Muir _An Irreverent and Thoroughly Incomplete Social History of Almost Everything_ [1977]. How wonderful opera would be if there were no singers. --Gioacchino Rossini (1792—1868) Italian composer. Attributed in Frank Muir _An Irreverent and Thoroughly Incomplete Social History of Almost Everything_ [1977]. - I like this opera crowd. I feel tough. --Jerry Seinfeld (b. 1954) American actor, writer, and comedian. "Seinfeld", Season 4. The Opera is nothing but a public gathering place where we assemble on certain days without precisely knowing why. --attributed to Voltaire [François Marie Arouet] (1694—1778) French writer and philosopher. An unalterable and unquestioned law of the musical world required that the German text of French operas sung by Swedish artists should be translated into Italian for the clearer understanding of English-speaking audiences. --Edith Wharton [nèe Jones] (1862—1937) American novelist. _The Age of Innocence_, ch. I [1920] end page \| NAME CALLING - NASTINESS \| NATIONALISM - NATIONS \| NATURE \| NAVY - NEGLECT \| NEIGHBORS/NEIGHBORHOOD - NEW YORK \| NEW YORK CITY \| NEWS - NEWSPEAK \| NICE - NONCONFORMITY \| NIXON YEARS \| NONSENSE - NOVEMBER \| NUCLEAR WAR - NURSERY RHYMES \| OBESITY - OBSTACLES \| OBSTINACY - OKLAHOMA \| OLD - OLD AGE \| OLD-FASHIONED - OPERA \| OPINION \| OPPORTUNITY - ORGANIZATION \| ORIGINALITY - OYSTERS \| \| H \| I - J \| K - L \| M \| N - O \| P - Q \| \| Return Home \| The Credits \| The Cast \| Act 1 \| Act 2 \| Act 3 \| The Reviews \|