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. . . MARTYRS see "BELIEF" for related links The ink of the scholar is more sacred than the blood of the martyr. --Muhammad (A.D. 570?-632), prophet to whom the religion of Islam was revealed Men never do evil so fully and cheerfully as when they do it out of conscience. --Blaise Pascal (1623-1662) French mathematician, physicist, and moralist, _Pensées_ [1670] Martyrdom has always been a proof of the intensity, never of the correctness of a belief. --Arthur Schnitzler (1862-1931) Austrian doctor, playwright, and novelist, _Buch der Spruche und Bedenken_ [1927] Martyrdom is the only way a man can become famous without ability. --George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950) Irish comic dramatist, literary critic, Socialist propagandist, and winner of the Nobel Prize for Literature in 1925 {EB} When a person stands ready to offer his life for another, he obviously knows what he's doing. I wouldn't have believed you capable of such a sacrifice, but you never know what a human being is capable of. Not that those who make the sacrifices are always saints. People sacrificed themselves for Stalin, for Petlura, for Machno, for every pogromist. Millions of fools will give their empty heads for Hitler. At times I think men go around with a candle looking for an opportunity to sacrifice themselves. --Isaac Bashevis Singer (1904-1991) Polish-American novelist who won the 1978 Nobel Prize for Literature, _Shosha_ A thing is not necessarily true because a man dies for it. --Oscar Wilde (1854—1900) Anglo-Irish dramatist and poet. _The Portrait of Mr. W.H._ [1889], ch. 1 - Sadjita, who is about 5, piped up and said she wanted to be a martyr when she grows up. --New York Times [somewhere in the Middle East, 2003]  ;void(0)) MARX BROTHERS . . see "HUMOR" for related links see "PEOPLE" for related links see also: "MOVIES" Rufus T. Firefly (President of Fredonia) (Groucho): Not that I care, but where is your husband? Mrs. T: Why, he's dead. Firefly: I'll bet he's just using that as an excuse. Mrs. T: I was with him till the very end. Firefly: Huh! No wonder he passed away. Mrs. T: I held him in my arms and kissed him. Firefly: Oh, I see. Then it was murder. Will you marry me? Did he leave you any money? Answer the second question first. Mrs. T: He left me his entire fortune. Firefly: Is that so? Can't you see what I'm trying to tell you? I love you. Mrs. T: Oh, your Excellency! Firefly: You're not so bad yourself. Mrs. T: Oh, I want to present to you Ambassador Trentino of Sylvania. Having him with us is indeed a great pleasure. Trentino: Thank you, but I can't stay very long. Firefly: That's even a greater pleasure. ... ... there's one man too many in this room and I think it's you. --dialogue from _Duck Soup_ (movie) Groucho: I could dance with you till the cows come home... On second thought I'd rather dance with the cows till you come home. I've been looking for a girl like you -- not you, but a girl *like* you. --Groucho (Julius Henry) Marx (1895-1977) American film comedian, "Cocoanuts" [1929 film] Groucho: So, Mrs. Smith, do you have any children? S: Yes, thirteen. Groucho: Thirteen! Good lord, isn't that a burden? S: Well, I love my husband. Groucho: Lady, I love my cigar but I take it out of my mouth once in a while. --"You Bet Your Life" [television show] Humor encompassed the entire Marx Brothers' family. "Because we were a kid act, we traveled at half-fare, despite the fact that we were all around twenty," Groucho once recalled. "Minnie [their mother] insisted we were thirteen... "'That kid of yours is in the dining car smoking a cigar,' the conductor told her. 'And another one is in the washroom shaving.' Minnie shook her head sadly. 'They grow so fast!'" --anon Wagstaff: Tomorrow we start tearing down the college. The Professors: But Professor. Where will the students sleep? Wagstaff: Where they always sleep. In the classroom. Wagstaff: You know you've got the brain of a four-year old child, and I bet he was glad to get rid of it. Wagstaff: I married your mother because I wanted children. Imagine my disappointment when you arrived. Baravelli: Who are you? Wagstaff: I'm fine, thanks, who are you? Baravelli: I'm fine too, but you can't come in unless you give the password. Wagstaff: Well, what is the password? Baravelli: Aw, no! You gotta tell me. Hey, I tell what I do. I give you three guesses. It's the name of a fish. Wagstaff: Is it Mary? Baravelli: Ha-ha. That's-a no fish. Wagstaff: She isn't, well, she drinks like one. Let me see. Is it sturgeon? Baravelli: Hey you crazy! Sturgeon, he's a doctor cuts you open when-a you sick. Now I give you one more chance. Wagstaff: I got it! Haddock! Baravelli: That's-a funny. I gotta haddock, too. Wagstaff: What do you take for a haddock? Baravelli: Well-a, sometimes I take-a aspirin, sometimes I take-a Calamel. Wagstaff: Say, I'd walk a mile for a Calamel. Baravelli: You mean chocolate calamel. I like that too, but you no guess it. Hey, what's-a matter, you no understand English? You can't come in here unless you say "swordfish." Now I'll give you one more guess. Wagstaff: [To himself] Swordfish. Swordfish. [To Baravelli.] Wagstaff: I think I got it. Is it "swordfish"? Baravelli: Hah! That's-a it! You guess it! Wagstaff: Pretty good, eh? - Henderson: You live here all alone? Otis B. Driftwood: Yes. Just me and my memories. I'm practically a hermit. Henderson: Oh. A hermit. I notice the table's set for four. Otis B. Driftwood: That's nothing - my alarm clock is set for eight. That doesn't prove a thing. --dialogue, A Night at the Opera [1935 film] . . see "COMMUNISM" see "PEOPLE" for related links Marx and Freud are the two great destroyers of Christian civilization, the first replacing the gospel of love by the gospel of hate, the other undermining the essential concept of human responsibility. --Malcolm Muggeridge (1903-1990) British writer, broadcaster, and journalist, _My Life in Pictures_ [1987], p. 94 . . see "THE HUMAN RACE" for related links The masses seem to me worthy of notice in only three respects: first as blurred copies of great men, produced on bad paper with worn plates, further as a resistance to the great, and finally as the tools of the great; beyond that, may the devil and statistics take them. --Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche (1844-1900) German philosopher and writer I can't help feeling wary when I hear anything said about the masses. First you take their faces from 'em by calling 'em the masses and then you accuse them of not having any faces. --J.B. [John Boynton] Priestley (1894-1984) English novelist, playwright, and critic ;void(0)) MATHEMATICALLY SPEAKING . . see: "NUMBERS" see "STATISTICS" The good Christian should beware of mathematicians, and all those who make empty prophecies. The danger already exists that mathematicians have made a covenant with the devil to darken the spirit and confine man in the bonds of Hell. --Augustine, St. of Hippo (354-430) Christian theologian and bishop of Hippo in Roman Africa [396—430]. _De Genesi ad Litteram_, bk. II - Taking Three as the subject to reason about - A convenient number to state - We add Seven, and Ten, and then multiply out By One Thousand diminished by Eight. The result we proceed to divide, as you see, By Nine Hundred and Ninety and Two: Then subtract Seventeen, and the answer must be Exactly and perfectly true. The method employed I would gladly explain, While I have it so clear in my head, If I had but the time and you had but the brain - But much yet remains to be said. --Lewis Carroll [Charles Lutwidge Dodgson] (1832—1898) English writer and logician. "The Hunting of the Snark" [1872] "Can you do addition?" the White Queen asked. "What's one and one and one and one and one and one and one and one and one and one?" "I don't know," said Alice. "I lost count." --Lewis Carroll [Charles Lutwidge Dodgson] (1832—1898) English writer and logician. _Thorough the Looking-Glass_ [1872] - I never could make out what those damned dots meant. {on decimal points} --Lord Randolph Churchill (1849—1894) British Conservative politician. In W.S. Churchill _Lord Randolph Churchill_ [1906]. I had a feeling once about mathematics -- that I saw it all. Depth beyond depth was revealed to me -- the Byss and the Abyss. I saw -- as one might see the transit of Venus or even the Lord Mayor's Show -- a quantity passing through infinity and changing its sign from plus to minus. I saw exactly why it happened and why tergiversation was inevitable -- but it was after dinner and I let it go. --Winston Churchill (1874—1965) British Conservative statesman and Prime Minister [1940—1945, 1951—1955]. Don't know much about geography, Don't know much trigonometry. Don't know much about algebra, don't know what a slide rule is for. But I know that one and one is two, And if this one could be with you, What a wonderful world this world this would be. --Sam Cooke (1931—1964) American R&B and pop singer. _Wonderful World_ (Lyrics by Sam Cooke, Herb Alpert and Lou Adler.) ^ In 1968 at the Masters, Robert DiVicenzo finished tied for the lead with Bob Goalby. But his playing partner, Tommy Aaron, had accidentally given him a four on the 17th hole when he actually made a birdie three. DiVicenzo failed to notice the mistake, signed his card, and that became his official score, giving Goalby a one-shot victory. --John Feinstein _Open: Inside the Ropes at Bethpage Black_ [2003] ^ I am the very model of a modern Major-General, I've information vegetable, animal, and mineral, I know the kings of England, and I quote the fights historical From Marathon to Waterloo, in order categorical; I'm very well acquainted, too, with matters mathematical, I understand equations, both the simple and quadratical, About binomial theorem I'm teeming with a lot o' news, With many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotenuse. --W. S. Gilbert (1836—1911) English writer of comic and satirical verse. _The Pirates of Penzance, Or, The Slave of Duty_ If there is a 50-50 chance that something can go wrong, then nine times out of ten it will. --Paul Harvey (1918— ) American radio broadcaster. The hardest arithmetic to master is that which enables us to count our blessings. --Eric Hoffer (1902—1983) American longshoreman, philosopher, and author who received the Presidential Medal of Freedom in 1982. ^ Benjamin Jowett (1817—1893) English classical scholar Jowett once submitted a matter to the vote of the dons of Balliol College. The result did not please him, he announced. 'The vote is twenty- two to two. I see we are deadlocked.' --_Bartlett's Book of Anecdotes_ edited by Clifton Fadiman and André Bernard [2000 ed.] ^ We're going to turn this team around 360 degrees. --Jason Kidd (1973— ) American professional basketball player. Stand firm in your refusal to remain conscious during algebra. In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra. --Fran Lebowitz (1946— ) American humorist. _Social Studies_ [1981], "Tips for Teens" ^^ Tatum O'Neal (1963— ) American film actress, daughter of actor Ryan O'Neal. When fourteen-year-old Tatum O'Neal was making the film "International Velvet," a school inspector came to make sure that she was not falling behind in her studies. Noting that her math was not very good, he asked whether that did not bother her. The child star was unconcerned: "Oh, no, I'll have an accountant." --_Bartlett's Book of Anecdotes_ edited by Clifton Fadiman and André Bernard [2000 ed.] ^^ "But that's okay, right? 'Cuz ye have a Plan!" "I hope I've got it right, though, said Roland. "My aunts say I'm too clever by half." "Glad tae hear it," said Rob Anybody, "'cuz that's much better than bein' too stupid by three quarters!" --Terry Pratchett (1948— ) English science fiction writer. _Wintersmith_ [2006] In mathematics you don't understand things. You just get used to them. --John von Neumann (1903—1957) Hungarian-born American mathematician. In Gary Zukav _The Dancing Wu Li Masters_ [1979]. - 2 pints = 1 Cavort Basic unit of Laryngitis = The Hoarsepower 1 Mole = 007 Secret Agents 1 Mole = 25 Cagey Bees 1 Dog Pound = 16 oz. of Alpo 2.4 statute miles of surgical tubing at Yale U. = 1 I.V.League 2000 pounds of chinese soup = 1 Won Ton 10 to the minus 6th power mouthwashes = 1 Microscope Speed of a tortoise breaking the sound barrier = 1 Machturtle 8 Catfish = 1 Octo-puss 365 Days of drinking Lo-Cal beer. = 1 Lite-year Force needed to accelerate 2.2lbs of cookies to 1 meter per second = 1 Fig-newton One half large intestine = 1 Semicolon 10 to the minus 6th power Movie = 1 Microfilm 1000 pains = 1 Megahertz 1 Angstrom: measure of computer anxiety = 1000 nail-bytes 10 to the 12th power microphones = 1 Megaphone The amount of beauty required to launch 1 ship = 1 Millihelen 665 = Neighbor of the Beast 555 = The Number of the Wannabeast 66666666666666666666666666666666666 = what happens when the beast falls alseep on the keyboard. --anon. Here at First National, you're not just a number -- you're two numbers, a dash, three more numbers, another dash and another number. --anon. Math problems? Call 1-800-[(10x)(13i)^2]-[sin(xy)/2.362x] --anon. - TRIVIA: A mile on the ocean and a mile on land are not the same distance. On the ocean, a nautical mile measures 6,080 feet. A land or statute mile is 5,280 feet. ---- algorithm (noun) A completely determined and finite procedure for solving a problem, esp. used in relation to mathematics and computer science. aliquot (noun) ['æ-li-kwêt] A number that divides another evenly, as 2, 3, 4, and 6 (but not 5) are aliquots of 12. decile (noun) In statistics, any of the values that divide a frequency distribution into ten groups of equal frequency, or any one of these groups. decimate (verb) 1. To exact a tenth as in taxes or every tenth person of a population. There are two nouns: decimate ['de-sê-mêt] "a tithe" and decimation [de-sê-'mey-shên] "the act or process of decimating." 2. To reduce substantially or even dramatically. muckle (adverb) ['mê-kl] Much, a great many, a large amount; large, great (Scots English). myriad (noun) ['mi-ri-êd] A great throng. adj: countless, innumerable. quasquicentennial (adj.) [kwah-skwê-sin-'te-ni-yêl] Pertaining to 125 or 125th; the celebration of 125 years. semicentennial - 50th centennial - 100th sesquicentennial - 150th bicentennial - 200th tercentennial - 300th quadricentennial - 400th quincentennial - 500th scintilla (noun) A minute amount; an iota or trace. Synonyms: shred, smidge, smidgeon, tittle, whit theorem (noun) 1: In algebra, a rule expressed as a mathematical equation or formula. 2: A proposition or idea that can be proven by other formulas or propositions in mathematics, or deduced from accepted premises or assumptions in logic. Related: hypothesis, postulate, premise, axiom, principle, truth Derived: theorematic, adj. triskaidekaphobia (n.) tris-kuh-deck-a-FOE-bee-uh] There are many named phobias, but few numbered ones. Triskaidekaphobia is fear of the number 13. triumvirate (noun) [trI-'êm-vê-rêt] A body of triumvirs or triumviri, three men who share in the government of a nation or some other organization. Sometimes the Russian word for a team of three horses, "troika," is used in the same sense. . . see "AGE" for related links Basically my wife was immature. I'd be at home in the bath and she'd come in and sink my boats. --Woody Allen [Allen Stewart Konigsberg] (1935— ) American actor, screenwriter, and director. I had always thought that once you grew up you could do anything you wanted—stay up all night or eat ice cream straight out of the container. --Bill Bryson (1951— ) American writer of humorous travel books. _The Lost Continent_ [1989] It is the act of an ill-instructed man to blame others for his own bad condition; it is the act of one who has begun to be instructed to lay the blame on himself; and of one whose instruction is completed, neither to blame another nor himself. --Epictetus (55—135) Greek philosopher. _The Encheiridion_, 5, tr. George Long [1890?] Immature love says: "I love you because I need you." Mature love says: "I need you because I love you." --Erich Fromm (1900—1980) American philosopher and psychologist. _The Art of Loving_ [1956] We have not passed that subtle line between childhood and adulthood until... we have stopped saying "It got lost," and say "I lost it." --Sydney J. Harris (1917—1986) American journalist. One of the most obvious facts about grown-ups, to a child, is that they have forgotten what it is like to be a child. --Randall Jarrell (1914—1965) American poet. In Christina Stead _The Man Who Loved Children_ [1965]. - "If" by Rudyard Kipling (1865—1936) English writer and poet If you can keep your head when all about you Are losing theirs and blaming it on you; If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you, But make allowance for their doubting too; If you can wait and not be tired by waiting, Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies, Or, being hated, don't give way to hating, And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise; If you can dream—and not make dreams your master; If you can think—and not make thoughts your aim; If you can meet with triumph and disaster And treat those two impostors just the same; If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools, Or watch the things you gave your life to broken, And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools; If you can make one heap of all your winnings And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss, And lose, and start again at your beginnings And never breathe a word about your loss; If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew To serve your turn long after they are gone, And so hold on when there is nothing in you Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!" If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue, Or walk with kings—nor lose the common touch; If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you; If all men count with you, but none too much; If you can fill the unforgiving minute With sixty seconds' worth of distance run-- Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it, And—which is more—you'll be a Man, my son! - The turning point in the process of growing up is when you discover the core of strength within you that survives all hurt. --Max Lerner (1902—1992) American educator, author, and syndicated columnist. _The Unfinished Century_ [1959] Things cannot always go your way. Learn to accept in silence the minor aggravations, cultivate the gift of taciturnity and consume your own smoke with an extra draught of hard work, so that those about you may not be annoyed with the dust and soot of your complaints. --Sir William Osler (1849—1919) Canadian-born physician. As quoted in Harvy Cushing's _The Life of Sir William Osler_ [1925], Volume 1, Chapter 22. One stops being a child when one realizes that telling one's trouble does not make it better. --Cesare Pavese (1908—1950) Italian novelist, poet, and translator. _This Business of Living: Diaries 1935—1950_ Men come of age at sixty, women at fifteen. --James Stephens (1882—1950) Irish poet and storyteller. In "Observer" [10 October 1944]. Maturity is: The ability to stick with a job until it's finished; The ability to do a job without being supervised; The ability to carry money without spending it; and The ability to bear an injustice without wanting to get even. --Abigail Van Buren (1918— ) American columnist. Maturity is a bitter disappointment for which no remedy exists, unless laughter could be said to remedy anything. --Kurt Vonnegut, Jr. (1922—2007) American novelist and short-story writer. ----- puerile [PYOO-uhr-uhl; PYOOR-uhl], adjective: Displaying or suggesting a lack of maturity; juvenile; childish. . . W. Somerset Maugham (1874-1965) English novelist, playwright, and short-story writer see "PEOPLE" for related links I believe the modern writer who has influenced me most is Somerset Maugham, whom I admire immensely for his power of telling a story straightforwardly and without frills. --George Orwell [Eric Blair] (1903-1950) English novelist, quoted in Joseph Epstein, _Is It All Right to Read Somerset Maugham?_, "The New Criterion" [November 1985] end page | MACARTHUR (DOUGLAS) - MALICE | MAN - MARINES | MARRIAGE | MARTYRS - MAUGHAM (WILLIAM SOMERSET) | MAXIMS - MEANNESS | MEDICINE - MEMORIAL DAY | MEMORIES - MEMORY | MEN - MEN v. WOMEN | MENTAL ILLNESS - MILK | MIND (THE) - MISERY | MISFORTUNE - MISSOURI | MISTAKES | MISTAKEN IDENTITY - MODESTY | MONEY | MONROE - MOON | MORAL ASSASINATION - MORALITY | MORNING - MOUNTAINS | MOVIE DIALOGUE - MUSHROOMS | MUSIC - MYTHOLOGY | | H | I - J | K - L | M | N - O | P - Q | | Return Home | The Credits | The Cast | Act 1 | Act 2 | Act 3 | The End | The Reviews | Photos | |
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