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. . . LIFESTYLE [QUOTES FOLLOW LINKS] see: BACHELORS CELEBACY HIPPIES LIFE OLD FASHIONED RETIREMENT SOLITUDE VEGETARIANS --- I've lived a life that's full, I've travelled each and ev'ry highway And more, much more than this. I did it my way. --Paul Anka (1941- ) Canadian singer and composer, "My Way" [1969 song] - Yesterday when I was young The taste of love was sweet as rain upon my tongue; I teased at life as if it were a foolish game The way the evening breeze may tease a candle flame. The thousand dreams I dreamed, The splendid things I planned-- I always built to last on weak and shifting sand; I lived by night and shunned the naked light of day, And only now I see how the years ran away. Yesterday when I was young, So many happy songs were waiting to be sung, So many wayward pleasures lay in store for me, And so much pain my dazzled eyes refused to see. I ran so fast that time and youth, at last, ran out, I never stopped to think what life was all about; And ev'ry conversation I can now recall Concerned itself with me, and nothing else at all. Yesterday the moon was blue, And ev'ry crazy day brought something new to do, I used my magic age as if it were a wand, And never saw the waste and emptiness beyond. The game of love I played with arrogance and pride, And ev'ry flame I lit too quickly, quickly died; The friends I made all seemed somehow to drift away And only I am left on stage to end the play. There are so many songs in me that won't be sung, I feel the bitter taste of tears upon my tongue; The time has come for me to pay for yesterday When I was young. --Charles Asnavour (1924- ) French singer and songwriter, "Yesterday When I Was Young" [English lyrics by Herbert Kretzmer] [1965 song, sung by Roy Clark] - Life is a matter of passing the time enjoyably. There may be other things in life, but I've been too busy passing my time enjoyably to think very deeply about them. --Peter Cook (1937-1995) English satirist and actor, in "Guardian" [10 January 1994] Believe me! The secret of reaping the greatest fruitfulness and the greatest enjoyment from life is to *live dangerously!* --Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche (1844-1900) German philosopher and writer, _Die fröhilche Wissenschaft_ [1882] - A man hath no better thing under the sun, than to eat, and to drink, and to be merry. --Bible: Ecclesiastes - A 2-panel cartoon from an early-70s MAD magazine: 1920s family at the supper table, with husband, wife, five kids, and a feast. Husband: How come there's no dessert? Wife: I didn't have time to bake anything. 1970s family at the supper table, with husband, wife, two kids, and Hamburger Helper. Husband: How come there's no dessert? Wife: I didn't have time to defrost anything.  . . see "KINDNESS" for related links You don't have to blow out the other fellow's light to let your own shine. --Bernard Baruch (1870—1965) American financier. In Bob Kelly _Worth Repeating: More Than 5,000 Classic and Contemporary Quotes_, P. 212 [2003]. There are two ways of spreading light: to be the candle or the mirror that reflects it. --Edith Wharton [nèe Jones] (1862—1937) American novelist. _Vesalius in Zante_ Instantly he could see the town below now, coiling in a thousand fumes of homely smoke, now winking into a thousand points of friendly light its glorious small design, its arching passionate assurances of walls, warmth, comfort, food, and love. --Thomas Wolfe (1900—1938) American novelist. _The Web and the Rock_ [1939] - May the blessing of light be on you, light without and light within. May the blessed sunshine shine on you and warm your heart till it glows like a great peat fire, so that the stranger may come and warm himself at it, and also a friend. --traditional Irish blessing ----- crepuscular (adj.) [krê-'pês-kyu-lê(r)] Pertaining to crepuscule, twilight; dim or weak in terms of visibility. gloaming GLOH-ming, noun: Twilight; dusk. Ex.: Arrived at the village station on a wintry evening, when the gloaming is punctuated by the cheery household lamps, shining here and there like golden stars, through the leafless trees. --Margaret Elizabeth Sangster gossamer (noun) ['gah-sê-mê(r)] Adjective is "gossamery." Small threads spun by baby spiders in late summer; anything extremely sheer, filmy, possessed of lightness and softness approaching nothingness. lambent LAM-buhnt, adjective: 1. Playing lightly on or over a surface; flickering; as, "a lambent flame; lambent shadows." 2. Softly bright or radiant; luminous; as, "a lambent light." 3. Light and brilliant; as, "a lambent style; lambent wit." Ex.: There, in the lambent glow of flashlight or lantern, you find the fragile rock walls covered with thousand-year-old paintings illustrating the life of the Buddha and his teachings. --Michael O'Sullivan, "The Cave as Canvas: Hidden Images of Worship Along the Silk Road," _Washington Post_ [4 January 2002]  LIGHTEN UP! . . see: "CHEER UP" Those who shun the whimsy of things will experience rigor mortis before death. --Tom Robbins (1936- ) American author, _Still Life with Woodpecker_ ;void(0)) LIGHT-HEARTED . . see: "TAKING THINGS SERIOUSLY" see: "TRIFLES" see "HAPPINESS" for other related links The one serious conviction that a man should have is that nothing is to be taken too seriously. --Samuel Butler (1835-1902) English novelist, essayist, and critic. A light heart lives long. --William Shakespeare (1564-1616) English dramatist. Letting your mind play is the best way to solve problems. A playful mind is inquisitive, and learning is fun. If you indulge your natural curiosity and retain a sense of fun in new experience, I think you'll find it functions as a sort of shock absorber for the bumpy road ahead. --Bill Waterson II (1958- ) American cartoonist, creator of "Calvin and Hobbes." -- flippant FLIP-uhnt, adjective: Lacking proper seriousness or respect; showing inappropriate levity; pert. Ex.: The conversations had grown more adult over the years--she was less flippant, at least. --Sylvia Brownrigg, _The Metaphysical Touch_ insouciant (adjective) Having no cares or anxieties; light-hearted; carefree. Syn.: happy-go-lucky, lighthearted, carefree Related: giddy, nonchalant Derived: insouciance, n.; insouciantly, adv. jocund JOCK-uhnd; JOH-kuhnd, adjective: Full of or expressing high-spirited merriment; light-hearted; mirthful. Ex.: Many a glad good morrow and jocund laugh from the young folk Made the bright air brighter. --Henry Wadsworth Longfellow, "Evangeline" levity LEV-uh-tee, noun: 1. Lightness of manner or speech, especially when inappropriate or excessive; frivolity. 2. Lack of steadiness or constancy; changeableness. winsome WIN-suhm, adjective: 1. Cheerful; merry; gay; light-hearted. 2. Causing joy or pleasure; agreeable; pleasant. Synonyms: charming, engaging, winning. Ex.: The first time I met Diana, she was a winsome little girl full of energy and mischief. --Annabel Goldsmith, "I will miss her smile," _Daily Telegraph_, [3 September 1997] . . see also: "TASTE" Great merit, or great failings, will make you be respected or despised; but trifles, little attentions, mere nothings, either done or neglected, will make you either liked or disliked, in the general run of the world. --Lord Chesterfield [Philip Dormer Stanhope] (1694-1773) British writer and politician, letter to his son [20 January 1749] Those whom you can make like themselves will, I promise you, like you very well. --Lord Chesterfield [Philip Dormer Stanhope] (1694-1773) British writer and politician, letter to his son [6 August 1750] Tiggers don't like honey. --A. A. (Alan Alexander) Milne (1882-1956) English writer for children, _House at Pooh Corner_ [1928] I joked about every prominent man in my lifetime, but I never met one I didn't like. --Will Rogers [William Penn Adair Rogers] (1879-1935) American humorist and actor. (Epitaph) Do not do unto others as you would that they should do unto you. Their tastes may not be the same. --George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950) Irish comic dramatist, literary critic, Socialist propagandist, and winner of the Nobel Prize for Literature in 1925 [he didn't accept it.] _Man and Superman_ [1903] "Maxims for Revolutionists: The Golden Rule" He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends. --Oscar Wilde (1854-1900) Anglo-Irish dramatist and poet. All the things I really like to do are either immoral, illegal, or fattening. --Alexander Woollcott (1887-1943) American dramatic and literary critic. ----- aficionado uh-fish-ee-uh-NAH-doh, noun: An enthusiastic admirer; a fan. anathema uh-NATH-uh-muh, noun: 1. A ban or curse pronounced with religious solemnity by ecclesiastical authority, and accompanied by excommunication. Hence: Denunciation of anything as accursed. 2. An imprecation; a curse; a malediction. 3. Any person or thing anathematized, or cursed by ecclesiastical authority. 4. Any person or thing that is intensely disliked. animus (noun) A feeling of ill will arousing active hostility. Synonyms: bad blood, animosity odium (noun) Strong dislike, contempt, or aversion. Synonyms: abhorrence, detestation, execration, loathing, abomination penchant PEN-chunt, noun: Inclination; decided taste; a strong liking. . . see "HUMOR" for related links The limerick is furtive and mean. You must keep her in close quarantine. Or she sneaks to the slums And promptly becomes Disorderly, drunk, and obscene. --Morris Bishop (1893-1973) American linguist and writer of light verse, quoted in Richard Lederer _The Cunning Linguist_ There's a vaporish maiden in Harrison Who longed for the love of a Saracen, But she had to confine her Intent to a Shriner, Who suffers, I fear, by comparison. --Morris Bishop (1893-1973) American linguist and writer of light verse There was a young lady named Bright, Whose speed was far faster than light, She set out one day In a relative way, And returned home the previous night. --Arthur Buller (1874-1944) British botanist and mycologist, in "Punch" [19 December 1923] We don't know much of Phallos, the Greek. He engaged seven sluts for a week. But the two who survived, Upon being revived, Were too flabbergasted to speak. --John Ciardi As the natives got ready to serve A midget explorer named Merve; 'This meal will be brief,' Said the cannibal chief, 'For this is at best an hors d'oeuvre.' --Ed Cunningham - No matter how grouchy you're feeling, You'll find the smile more or less healing. It grows in a wreath All around the front teeth-- Thus preserving the face from congealing. --Anthony Euwer (1877-1955) American author. As a beauty I'm not a great star. Others are handsomer far; But my face -- I don't mind it Because I'm behind it; It's the folks out in front that I jar. --Anthony Euwer (1877-1955) American author. In Robert Andrews _The Concise Columbia Dictionary of Quotations_, p. 102 [1989] - A man who would woo a fair maid, He should 'prentice himself to the trade, And study all day In a methodical way How to flatter, cajole, and persuade. --W. S. Gilbert (1836-1911) English writer of comic and satirical verse. There was an Old Man with a beard, Who said, 'It is just as I feared! Two owls and a hen, Four larks and a wren Have all built their nests in my beard.' --Edward Lear (1812-1888) English landscape painter and writer of nonsense verse. _Book of Nonsense_ [1846] It needn't have ribaldry's taint Or strive to make everyone faint There's a type that's demure And perfectly pure Though it helps quite a bit if it ain't. --Don Marquis (1878-1937) American poet and journalist. A wonderful bird is the pelican, His bill will hold more than his belican. He can take in his beak Food enough for a week, But I'll be damned if I see how the helican. --Dixon Lanier Merritt (1879-1972) American editor and poet. "The Pelican" [1910] - There was a young girl of Connecticut Who flagged the express with her pecticut. Which her elders defined, As presence of mind, But deplorable absence of ecticut. --Ogden Nash (1902-1971) American writer of humorous poetry. There was a young lady called Harris, That nothing could ever embarrass; Till the bath-salts one day In the tub where she lay Turned out to be Plaster of Paris. --Ogden Nash (1902-1971) American writer of humorous poetry. A crusader's wife slipped from the garrison And had an affair with a Saracen; She was not over-sexed, Or jealous, or vexed, She just wanted to make a comparison. --Ogden Nash (1902-1971) American writer of humorous poetry. - There was a young student called Fred Who was questioned on Descartes and said: "It's perfectly clear That I'm not really here, For I haven't a thought in my head." --V. R. Ormerod Said Freud: "I’ve discovered the Id. Of all your repressions be rid. It won’t ease the gravity Of all the depravity, But you’ll know why you did what you did." --Frank Richards There was a young lady...tut, tut! So you think you're in for some smut? Some five-line crescendo Of lewd innuendo? Well, you're wrong. This is anything but. --Stanley J. Sharpless The Hoover, in grim silence, sat, But sucking no more at the mat; Quietly it grunted As slowly it shunted, And messily disgorged the cat. --David Woolsford There was a young girl of Darjeeling Who could dance with such exquisite feeling There was never a sound For miles around Save of fly-buttons hitting the ceiling. --#285, _The Limerick_ [1964] There was a young lady called Alice Who peed in a Catholic chalice. The padre agreed It was done out of need, And not out of Protestant malice. --anon. God's plan made a hopeful beginning, But man spoiled his chances by sinning. We hope that the story Will end in God's glory, But at present the other side's winning. --anon. A nudist resort at Bernares, Took a midget in, all unawares, But he made members weep, For he just couldn't keep, His nose out of private affairs. --anon. Said Lord Nelson, 'Oh, for a boat! That I might still yet be afloat, Not stand here so solemn On top of my Column While pigeons shit over my coat.' --anon. There was an old clerk of Columbus Who wearied of totalling numbus; So he moved to East Lansing And spent his time dancing Maxixes, merengues, and rhumbus. --anon. A mosquito was heard to complain A chemist had poisoned his brain. The cause of his sorrow Was 4-4 dichloro- Diphenoltrichloroethane --anon. The limerick's form is complex. Its contents run chiefly to sex. It burgeons with virgins And prurient urgings And drips with erotic effects. --unknown, quoted in Richard Lederer, _The Cunning Linguist_ There once was a lady of Crete, So enormously broad in the seat, That one day in the ocean, She caused such commotion, That Admiral Byrd claimed her for America. --anon. There was an old man of Darjeeling Who hung by his feet from the ceiling; He fell on his head But felt nothing, he said, For he'd lost all sensation of feeling. --anon. There was an old widower, Doyle, Who wrapped up his wife in tinfoil. He thought it would please her, To stay in the freezer, And anyway, outside she'd spoil. --anon. There was a young man from Dunbar, Who playfully pickled his ma. When he finished his work, He remarked with a smirk, "This will make quite a family jar." --anon. A dreary young bank clerk named Fennis Wished to foster an aura of menace; To make people afraid He wore gloves of grey suede And white footgear intended for tennis. --anon. A mortician who practiced in Fife, Made love to the corpse of his wife. "How would I know, Judge? She was cold, did not budge, Just the same as she'd acted in life." --anon. Said an old lady pickling figs To another one nickeling wigs: "Aren't we fickle To nickel and pickle When we could have been tickling pigs?" --anon. A remarkable baker was Hartz. His life imitated his arts. For every last son Was a fruitcake (each one); While his daughters were tasty young tarts. --anon. There was a young man from Japan Whose poetry no one could scan When asked about it, He said, yes I admit That I always try to work as many words as possible into the last lines of my poems as I possibly can. --anon. There was a young man from Kent, Whose nose was terribly bent. Some days, I suppose, He would follow his nose, And no one would know where he went. --anon. There was an old man of Khartoum Who kept a tame sheep in his room, "To remind me," he said, "Of someone who's dead, But I never can recollect whom." --anon. A green-thumbed young farmer from Leeds Once swallowed a package of seeds. In a month, his ass Was covered with grass And his balls were grown over with weeds. --anon. There was a young thing from Madras Who had a most beautiful ass. It wasn't pink As you might think But it had long ears and ate grass. --anon. There was a young lady of Malta Who strangled her aunt with a halter. She said, "I won't bury her; She'll do for my terrier; She'll keep for a month if I salt her." --anon. An impetuous maiden named Marion, An antidisestablishmentarian, Took a rabbit, a bear And a pig to the fair, And posed as a veterinarian. --anon. A hungry young fellow named Marvin Sat dreaming of turkeys and carvin'. So a lady brought Spam, But he said, "Thank you, ma'am; I prefer the alternative: starvin'." --anon. A girl attending Bryn Mawr Committed a terrible faux pas. She loosened a stay In her decolleté, Exposing her je-ne-sais-quoi. --_The Limerick_ Some people count sheep, using numbers To hasten and lengthen their slumbers, But my nostrum entails Just curvaceous females, For I prefer figures to numbers. --anon. A modest young girl I'll call Oola Once donned a grass skirt to dance Hula A cow ate the grass Exposing her ass Now she's no longer modest but coola --anon. According to experts, the oyster In its shell (or crustacean cloister) May at anytime be Either he or a she, Or both, if it should be its choice ter. --anon. There was a young girl from Peru Whose limericks stopped at line two. --anon. On the chest of a barmaid in Sale Were tattooed the prices of ale. And on her behind, For the sake of the blind, Was the same information in Braille! --anon. Some aliens abducted a slew Of young virgins, but not for a screw: "We won't risk E. coli, hepatitis, eboli; We'll see they're well done in a stew" They finished their meal with a brew, Then before anyone could say "Boo!" They wiped off their chins, Gave us hideous grins, And blasted off into the blue --anon. There was a young woman whose stammer Was atrocious, and so was her grammar; But they were not improved When her husband was moved To knock out her teeth with a hammer. --anon. I dreamt of a virile young stud, We rolled like two pigs in the mud, We spent half an hour, Making love in the shower, Then I fell out of bed with a thud..... --anon. I looked up my family tree. They all came from apes, except me. The females and males All swung by their tails, But I came direct from the sea. --anon. The chin was meant to give trouble, Either pimples or dimples or stubble, Though some have the gall To grow not at all, While others come triple and double. --anon. Archimedes, the early truth-seeker, Leapt out of his bath, cried "Eureka!" And ran half a mile, Wearing only a smile, Thus becoming the very first streaker. --anon. There was a young man from Warsaw, Whose limericks stopped at line four When asked why this was He answered "Because." --anon. A youthful beef-packer named Young, One day, when his nerves were unstrung, Pushed his wife's ma, unseen, In the chopping machine, Then canned it and labelled it 'Tongue'. --anon. A lion in one of the zoos, Was recently top of the news, While in a big rage, He broke in the next cage, And that is the end of the gnus. --anon. . . Argue for your limitations and sure enough they're yours. --Richard Bach (1936— ) American writer. When I was young, I said to God, 'God, tell me the mystery of the universe.' But God answered, 'that knowledge is for me alone.' So I said, 'God, tell me the mystery of the peanut.' Then God said, 'Well, George, that's more nearly your size.' --George Washington Carver (1864—1943) American agricultural chemist and agronomist. In the country of the blind the one-eyed man is king. --Desiderius Erasmus (1469—1536) Dutch humanist and theologian. _Adagia_ [1500] The man with insight enough to admit his limitations comes nearest to perfection. --Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1749—1832) German poet, novelist, and playwright. All of us confront limits of body, talent, temperament. But that is not all. We are, all of us, also constrained by our time, our place, our civilization. We are bound by the culture we have in common, the culture which distinquishes us from other people in other times and places. Cultural constraints condition and limit our choices, shaping our characters with their imperatives. --Jeane Kirkpatrick (1926—2006) American Conservative political scientist, professor, author, and the first woman to serve as the American Ambassador to the United Nations. In a commencement address at Georgetown University [24 May 1981]. Don't let yourself be victimized by the age you live in. It's not the times that will bring us down, any more than it's society. When you put blame on the society, then you end up turning to society for the solution. Just like those poor neurotics at the Care Fest. There's a tendency today to absolve individuals of moral responsibility and treat them as victims of social circumstance. You buy that, you pay with your soul. It's not men who limit women, it's not straights who limit gays, it's not whites who limit blacks. What limits people is lack of character. What limits people is that they don't have the f*cking nerve or imagination to star in their own movie, let alone direct it. --Tom Robbins (1936— ) American author. _Still Life with Woodpecker_ [1980] end page | KARMA - KENTUCKY | KINDNESS | KILL - KU KLUX KLAN | KNOWLEDGE | LABELS - LAS VEGAS | LANGUAGE | LATIN - LAUGHTER | LAW (THE) - LAWYERS | LAZINESS - LEGACIES | LEISURE - LIBERALS | LIBERTY - LIES | LIFE | LIFESTYLE - LIMITATIONS | LINCOLN (ABRAHAM) - LITTERING | LIVE - LONDON | LONELINESS - LOUISIANA | LOVE - PAGE 1 (A-L) | LOVE - PAGE 2 (M-Z) | LOVE & MARRIAGE - LYNCHING | | H | I - J | K - L | M | N - O | P - Q | | Return Home | The Credits | The Cast | Act 1 | Act 2 | Act 3 | The End | The Reviews | Photos | |
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