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. . . Thomas Jonathan "Stonewall" Jackson (1824-1863) Confederate general in the American Civil War; nickname asssigned at the first battle of Bull Run [1861] see "THE CIVIL WAR" see "PEOPLE" for related links Thomas Jonathan Jackson was born in West Virginia, on January 21, 1824. He died a tragic death on May 10, 1863. Jackson was a very famous man, and a Confederate general in the Civil War. This man was one of the best and most able southerners, second only to Robert E. Lee. At the first battle of Bull Run, Jackson's small group of troops were facing overwhelming odds but they formed a strong line and held their ground. At the sight of this, General Barnard Bee said, "There is Jackson's line over there standing like a stonewall." After this statement Thomas Jackson was given the nickname "Stonewall". --http://www.vmi.edu/~archtml/tjjartl2.html At 1:30 PM, Dr. McGuire noted momentary consciousness and told him he had but two hours to live. Jackson whispered, "Very good. it's all right." He declined brandy and water and said, "It will only delay my departure and do no good. I want to preserve my mind to the last." Dr. McGuire states his mind began to fail and wander. He talked as if giving commands on the battlefield--then he was at the mess table talking to his staff--now with his wife and child--now at prayers with his military family. A few moments before he died he ordered A. P. Hill to prepare for action. "Pass the infantry to the front rapidly. Tell Major Hawks"-- then stopped. Presently he smiled and said with apparent relief, "Let us cross over the river and rest under the shade of the trees" and then, seemingly in peace, he died. --ibid  ;void(0)) JAIL . . see "CRIME & PUNISHMENT" for related links A governor of a certain state was visiting the state prison, and stopped to talk with a number of prisoners. They told him their story, and in every instance it was one of wrong suffered by an innocent person. There was one man, however, who admitted his crime and the justice of his sentence. "I must pardon you," said the governor; "I can't have you in here corrupting all these good men." --Abraham Lincoln (1809-1865) American Republican statesman, President [1861-1865], in _Lincoln's Wit_ [1958], "1864"  JAPAN . . see "PLACES" for related links PHOTOGRAPH: THE PAGODA AT NARITA-SAN-SHINSO-JI- TEMPLE A war with Japan! But why should there be a war with Japan? I do not think there is the slightest chance of it in our lifetime. --Winston Churchill (1874-1965) British Conservative statesman and Prime Minister [1940-1945, 1951-1955], [letter of 15 December 1924] in K. Middlemass and J. Barnes _Baldwin: A Biography_ [1969] p.327. - VVhen my brother, Secretary at the Ministry of Ceremonial, was a young boy learning the Chinese classics, I was in the habit of listening with him and I became unusually proficient at understanding those passages that he found too difficult to grasp and memorize. Father, a most learned man, was always regretting that fact: 'Just my luck!' he would say. 'What a pity she was not born a man!' But then I gradually realized that people were saying 'It's bad enough when a man flaunts his Chinese learning; she will come to no good ... ' Her Majesty asked me to read with her here and there from the Collected Works of Po Chu-i, and, because she evinced a desire to know more about such things, to keep it secret we carefully chose times when the other women would not be present, and, from the summer before last, I started giving her informal lessons on the two volumes of 'New Ballads'. I hid this fact from others, as did Her Majesty. --Lady Murasaki Shikibu (c.980-c.1030) _The Diary of Lady Murasaki_ (1996 trans.) pp.57-8, in M.J. Cohan and John Major {eds} _History in Quotations_ [2004] Cohan & Major explain: Lady Murasaki Shikibu was the author of the masterpiece The Tale of Genji (c.1022), the first novel in world literature. The diary recounts her personal recollections of life at the imperial court in Kyoto at a time when it was considered inappropriate for a lady to read the Chinese classics. - How courteous is the Japanese; He always says, "Excuse it, please." He climbs into his neighbor's garden, And smiles, and says, "I beg your pardon"; He bows and grins a friendly grin, And calls his hungry family in; He grins, and bows a friendly bow; "So sorry, this my garden now." --Ogden Nash (1902-1971) American humorist - Japanese ships are strictly forbidden to leave for foreign countries. No Japanese is permitted to go abroad. If there is anyone who attempts to do so secretly, he must be executed. The ship so involved must be impounded and its owner arrested, and the matter must be reported to the higher authority. If any Japanese returns from overseas after residing there, he must be put to death. --Tokugawa lemitsu (1604-1651) Third shogun of the Tokugawa dynasty who reigned from 1623 to 1651; Edicts 1, 2, and 3 [1635] ;void(0)) JAZZ . . see "MUSIC" for related links [Jazz] went from the classics to ragtime to Dixieland to swing to bebop to cool jazz. . . But it's always jazz. You can put a new dress on her, a new hat, but no matter what kind of clothes you put on her, she's the same old broad. --Lionel Hampton (1908-2002) American bandleader . . see "UNHAPPINESS" for related links see "EMOTIONS & FEELINGS" for related links see also: "KEEPING UP (WITH THE NEIGHBORS)" People often grudge others what they cannot enjoy themselves. --Æsop (c.620 B.C.-c.560 B.C.) (Thought to be a legendary figure.) _Æsop's Fables_ "The Dog in the Manger" He who ascends to mountain tops, shall find, The loftiest peaks most wrapt in clouds and snow; He who surpasses or subdues mankind, Must look down on the hate of those below. --Lord Byron [George Gordon Byron] (1788-1824) English Romantic poet and satirist. _Childe Harold's Pilgrimage_, Canto III [1816], Stanza 45 Jealousy, the jaundice of the soul. --John Dryden (1631-1700) English poet, critic, and dramatist. _The Hind and the Panther_ [1687] The virtue which requires to be ever guarded is scarce worth the sentinel. --Oliver Goldsmith (1728-1774) Anglo-Irish writer, poet, and dramatist. _The Vicar of Wakefield_ [1766] A competent and self-confident person is incapable of jealousy in anything. Jealousy is invariably a symptom of neurotic insecurity. --Robert A(nson) Heinlein (1907-1988) American science-fiction writer. Jealousy is all the fun you *think* they had. --Erica Jong (1942- ) American novelist. _How to Save Your Own Life_ [1977] - Jealousy feeds upon suspicion, and it turns into fury or it ends as soon as we pass from suspicion to certainty. --François de La Rochefoucauld (1613-1680) French classical author. _Reflections; or, Sentences and Moral Maxims_ [1678]; maxim 32 In jealousy there is more self-love than love. --François de La Rochefoucauld (1613-1680) French classical author. _Maxims_, #324 [1665] - Though jealousy be produced by love, as ashes are by fire, yet jealousy extinguishes love as ashes smother the flame. --Marguerite d'Angoulême (1492-1549) French writer, Queen of Navarre. _The Hyptameron_ [1558] It's not a measure of love's depth. It merely records the degree of the lover's insecurity. --Margaret Mead (1901-1978) American anthropologist. To jealousy, nothing is more frightful than laughter. --Françoise Sagan (1935-2004) French novelist. _La Chamade_ [1965] To an envious man, nothing is more delightful than another's misfortune, and nothing more painful than another's success. --Benedict de Spinoza (1632-1677) Dutch-Jewish philosopher, the foremost exponent of 17th century Rationalism. _Ethics_ [1677], "Man's Loves And Hates" ;void(0)) JEFFERSON, THOMAS . . . see also: CONSTITUTION (THE) see also: DECLARATION OF INDEPENDENCE see "PEOPLE" for related links ^ Kennedy, John Fitzgerald (1917-1963) American politician, 35th President of the United States [1961-1963] When Kennedy entertained a group of Nobel Prize winners at the White House in December 1962, he welcomed them as the most distinquished gathering of intellects to have dined at the Executive Mansion-- 'with the possible exception of when Mr. Jefferson dined here alone.' --_Bartlett's Book of Anecdotes_ edited by Clifton Fadiman and André Bernard [2000 ed.] ^ . . Kissing your hand may make you feel very, very good, but a diamond and sapphire bracelet lasts forever. --Anita Loos (1893-1981) American novelist and Hollywood screenwriter, _Gentlemen Prefer Blondes_ [1925] . . see: "ANTI-SEMITISM" see: "ISRAEL v PALESTINE" see "PEOPLE" for related links see "RELIGION" for related links For the exercises of strength and skill, for the achievements and for the enchantments of wit, of eloquence, or art, of genius, for the imperial games of politics and war — let us seek them on the shores of Greece. But if the first among the problems of life be how to establish the peace, and restore the balance, of our inward being; if the highest of all conditions in the existence of the creature be his aspect towards the God to whom he owes his being and in whose great hand he stands; then let us make our search elsewhere. All the wonders of the Greek civilization heaped together are less wonderful, than is the single Book of Psalms. --William Gladstone (1809—1898) British Liberal statesman, Prime Minister [1868—1874, 1880—1885, 1892—1894]. "Place of Ancient Greece in the Providential Order", _Gleanings of Past Years_ [1879] Palermo is the chief town of Sicily, and contains about 850 Jewish families, all living in one street, which is situated in the best part of the town. They are artisans, such as copper-smiths and iron-smiths, porters and peasants, and are despised by the Christians because they wear tattered garments. As a mark of distinction they are obliged to wear a piece of red cloth, about the size of a gold coin, fastened on the breast. The royal tax falls heavily on them, for they are obliged to work for the king at any employment that is given them; they have to draw ships to the shore, to construct dykes and so on. They are also employed in administering corporal punishment and in carrying out the sentence of death. --Obadiah of Bertinoro (c.I450—c.1516) Italian rabbi. _Letters_ [1487-90] I'll never forget something that my father told me: When he was a teenager in Europe, all the walls were covered with graffiti that said, 'Jews, Go to Palestine.' And when he went back to Europe as an adult, all the walls were covered with graffiti that said, 'Jews, Get Out of Palestine.' And my father understood this message perfectly, the emotional meaning of this message, which was: Get out of here and get out of there. Just don't come to us. Don't be here and don't be there. In other words, don't be. We may not kill you — that's dirty, we're not like that, but you will not be. You will die. --Amos Oz (1939— ) Israeli writer and journalist. Why have the Jews, always among the weakest and smallest of peoples, attracted the hatred of the most evil people? Because of what the Jews represented. The civility of the Jews' lives and the values the Jews brought into the world — especially ethical monotheism, i.e., a standard of right and wrong based on a moral and judging God — made them loathsome in the eyes of those who led particularly uncivil lives and who celebrated moral chaos and cruelty. --Dennis Prager (1948— ) American talk-show host. "So, we're hated" [22 June 2004] Shylock: I am a Jew. Hath now a Jew eyes? hath not a Jew hands, organs, dimensions, senses, affections, passions? fed with the same food, hurt with the same weapons, subject to the same diseases, healed by the same means, warmed and cooked by the same winter and summer, as a Christian is? If you prick us, do we not bleed? If you tickle us, do we not laugh? If you poison us, do we not die? and if you wrong us, shall we not revenge? --William Shakespeare (1564—1616) English dramatist. _The Merchant of Venice_ [1596—1598] If the Hebrew people had left us nothing but the memory of their struggle, they would have left us rich. The knowledge that once in human history the whole genius of a people was spent in search after God is enough to prove that mankind is not wholly base. If they had not given their conceptions glorious form and expression; if their poets and prophets had not hymned the sweetest music, yet the conception of what life is and what it really means, the system of values which they have bequeathed to us, would still leave them the leaders of the race. It is true there was change and progress in the course of their religious development, and this makes that history the more glorious. Not to them any more than to us did the oracles of God speak to unwilling hearts and minds. The search after God was a noble and difficult quest not because He would escape them, but because only as they developed by struggle were they able to perceive Him or understand His voice. The Hebrew history is a part of the final civilization of the world. To the men of vision the world has always owed its debt. More than the marvels of Greece or the more hoary antiquities of Egypt, more than the accuracies of modern science or the inventions of modern industry, are these messages out of the Hebrew centuries to every man and woman who wishes to think truly and to live nobly. --Samuel G. Smith, _Religion in the Making_ [1910] If we were permitted to reason consistently in religious matters, it is clear that we all ought to become Jews, because Jesus Christ our Savior as born a Jew, lived a Jew, died a Jew, and he said expressly that He was fulfilling the Jewish religion. --Voltaire (François Marie Arouet) (1694—1778) French writer and philosopher. "Tolerance," _Philosophical Dictionary_ -- A rabbi walks into a bar with a frog on his shoulder. The bartender says, "Good heavens, where did you get that?" The frog says, "In Brooklyn. There's hundreds of them." -- Two Jewish friends bumped into each other in their Brooklyn neighborhood. "Just the man I wanted to see!" said one. "Have I got a deal for you!" "What is it?" said the second. "Get a load of this: for ten thousand dollars, I can get you a full-grown African elephant!" "A what!? An elephant!? Don't waste my time with your jokes!" "No joke! I've got connections, and I can have it delivered right to you." "That's ridiculous! What does anyone need with an elephant? Goodbye!" "So as not to be a hardship for you, for you I'll knock off fifteen hundred. What do you say?" "What do I say? What do I say?! I say you're _meshuginah!_ I don't need an elephant; what do I care how much it costs? Now if you'll excuse me—" "I can see you need some time to think about this, but you'd better not delay too long. I can keep an elephant in inventory only so long, you know. So how about seven thousand? And immediate delivery." "Are you deaf today or something? Elephants eat trees — do you see any trees here? No! Elephants need lots of space — do you see any space here? No! Now listen to me once more before I call the men with the butterfly nets: _I_ _do_ _not_ _want_ _an_ _elephant!_" "Okay, okay, watch your blood pressure. Here's my final offer: Five thousand seven hundred fifty dollars, and I'll make it _two_ elephants!" "_Now_ you're talking!" -- One day, a 10-year-old boy was sitting on the curb in New York City. He was fingering his rosary beads, and appeared deep in thought as a rabbi walked past. The rabbi stopped, and after a short study of the boy, said, "My, you are indeed a very pious young fellow. Do you plan on becoming a priest some day?" The young boy replied, "Well, yes, I suppose that is a career option I could choose." "Ah, so," said the rabbi. "I good career it is. And after priest, what could you become?" "Well," replied the boy, "I suppose I could become a bishop some day." "Ah, yes indeed, a bishop. Very good. And after that?" "Oh, I suppose there's a possibility of becoming a cardinal." "Ah, yes, a cardinal is very good. And then?" "Well," said the boy slowly, "I suppose I could become Pope some day." "Yes, yes, that is excellent. Pope. And then what?" "Well, there is nothing after that," replied the boy. "What?" asked the rabbi. "You can't become God? One of our boys made it." -- An aging school teacher on the plains of Kansas was sick and tired of the separation of church and state rules that had permeated public schools and since she was nearing retirement decided to start teaching Christian values in her sixth grade class again. The kids didn't seem particularly interested, so she decided to sweeten the pie in the old Yankee fashion. She advised her class that she would pay $25 to the first student who could name the greatest man who ever lived. The only kid who raised his hand was Izzie, the token Jewish kid, so she called on Stanley instead knowing he was a regular in her Bible study class at the local church. "Alexander the Great!" gushed Stanley, "because he conquered the known world!" Disappointed she called on John, the most studious of her scholars as Izzie began to wave his hand. "William Shakespeare", said John assuredly. Miss Frimple uttered a sigh resignation as she called on Barbara Anne another stellar student at her Sunday school class as Izzie waved his hand wildly, "Joan of Arc! Because she ended the 100 Years War!" And so it went until Miss Frimple was down to the last student who was still waving his hand furiously. "Izzie, who do you think was the greatest man who ever lived?" "Jesus Christ, our Lord and Saviour," said Izzie without skipping a beat. Miss Frimple dutifully doled out the $25 dollars to Izzie saying, "Well, Izzie, I'm quite surprised that you of all my students would get the right answer!" Pocketing the money ruefully, Izzy retorted, "Personally, I think it was Moses, but, business is business." ;void(0)) JOBS . . see "WORK" for related links A professional is a man who can do his job when he doesn't feel like it; an amateur is one who can't when he does feel like it. --James Agate (1877—1947) British drama critic and novelist. In _Ego_ [entry of 17 September 1933]. A stockbroker is someone who invests other people's money until it's all gone. --attributed to Woody Allen [Allen Stewart Konigsberg] (1935— ) American actor, screenwriter, and director. The hard part about being a bartender is figuring out who is drunk and who is just stupid. --Richard Braunstein ^ Advertisement in the Battle Creek (Mich.) Enquirer. Full service hotel looking to expand its existing food operation with a quality Sioux chief. Salary range 25KO, commensurate with experience. --_New Yorker_ (magazine) [24 December 2007] ^ "Wanted: Young, skinny, wirey fellows not over 18. Must be expert riders willing to risk death daily. Orphans preferred. Wages $25 per week." --Pony Express Advertisement [1860] - Professionals built the Titanic, amateurs built the Ark. --anon. -- An Irishman sees a job advert published on a building site, "handy man wanted; apply within". So he does and speaks to the foreman. Foreman: Can you drive a forklift truck? Irish man: No Foreman: can you plaster? Irish man: No Foreman: Can you brick lay? Irish man: No Foreman: If you don't mind me asking, what's handy about you? Irish man: I only live five minutes down the road. ----- emolument (noun) [ê-'mah-lyê-mênt or ee-'mah-lyê-mênt] Compensation or perquisites received for employment. perquisite [PUR-kwuh-zit], noun: 1. A profit or benefit in addition to a salary or wages. 2. Broadly: The benefits of a position or office. 3. A gratuity or tip for services performed. Ex.: In a tight market for skilled labor... corporations are increasingly buying homes for hot new hires -- a perquisite once reserved for top executives. --Jennie James, "For Many Europeans, There's No Place Like Home," _Time_ [8 May 2000] sinecure (noun) ['si-nê-kyur] Any position with compensation but few or even no duties. A sinecure is often the result of a "transmotion", the horizontal correlate of a promotion. vocation (noun) [vo-'key-shên] A profession, a job for which one is qualified or suited, a calling. . . see "ENTERTAINMENT, HOBBIES, & LEISURE ACTIVITIES" for related links Philippides [or Pheidippides] ... brought the news of the victory from Marathon and addressed the magistrates in session when they were anxious to know how the battle had ended; 'Rejoice, we've won,' he said and then he died breathing his last breath with those words. --Lucian (c. 120-c. 180) Greek rhetorician, pamphleteer, and satirist, _A Slip of Tongue in Greeting_, in M.J. Cohan and John Major {eds.} _History in Quotations_ [2004] Joggers are basically neurotic, bony, smug types who could bore the paint off a DC.10. It is a scientifically proven fact that having to sit through a three-minute conversation between two joggers will cause your IQ to drop thirteen points. --Rick Reilly The first time I see a jogger smiling, I'll consider it. --Joan Rivers (1935- ) American comedian and talk-show host - Running is an unnatural act except from enemies and to the bathroom --anon. end page | IDAHO - IDIOTS | IDLENESS - IMMATURITY | IMMIGRATION & IMMORALITY | IMMORTALITY - IMPOSTORS | IMPRESSIONABLE - INDECISION | INDEPENDENCE - INDIANA | INDIFFERENCE - INDIVIDUALITY | INDOCTRINATION - INFORMATION | INGRATITUDE - INNOVATION | INNUENDO - INSPIRATION | INSULTS - INTENTIONS | INTERESTED(ING) - INTUITION | INVENTIONS - ITCHING | JACKSON - JOGGING | JOHNSON (LYNDON) - JOY | JOURNALISM | JUDGE (TO) - JUSTICE | | H | I - J | K - L | M | N - O | P - Q | | Return Home | The Credits | The Cast | Act 1 | Act 2 | Act 3 | The End | The Reviews | Photos | |
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