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FREUD --- FRIENDS / FRIENDSHIP

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see: "PSYCHIATRY"
see "PEOPLE" for other related links


Marx and Freud are the two great destroyers
of Christian civilization, the first replacing
the gospel of love by the gospel of hate, the
other undermining the essential concept of
human responsibility.
--Malcolm Muggeridge (1903—1990)
British writer, broadcaster, and journalist.
_My Life in Pictures_ [1987], p. 94




FRIENDS / FRIENDSHIP

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[QUOTES FOLLOW LINKS]

see:

ACQUAINTANCE

COMPANIONSHIP, (THE) COMPANY (YOU KEEP)

DEDICATION

FAMILIARITY

GIFTS

GREETINGS

GUESTS

HAPPINESS

HOSPITALITY

HUGS

IRISH TOASTS/BLESSINGS

KNOWING (SOMEONE)

LOYALTY

MEETING

PLEASING (OTHERS)

RECOGNITION

RELATIONSHIPS

REUNIONS

SECRETS

TRUST


One friend in a lifetime is much; two are many;
three are hardly possible. Friendship needs a
certain parallelism of life, a community of
thought, a rivalry of aim.
--Henry Brooks Adams (1838—1918)
American historian & man of letters.
_The Education of Henry Adams_, ch. 20 [1907]

A doubtful friend is worse than a certain enemy. Let a man be
one thing or the other, and we then know how to meet him.
--Ζsop (c. 620 B.C.—c. 560 B.C.)
(Thought to be a legendary figure.)
_Ζsop Fables_, "The Hound and the Hare"

I keep my friends as misers do their treasure, because,
of all the things granted us by wisdom, none is greater
or better than friendship.
--Pietro Aretino (1492—1556)
Italian poet, prose writer, and dramatist.

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My friends! There are no friends.
--Aristotle (384—322 B.C.)
Greek philosopher.


He who hath many friends, hath none.
--Aristotle (384—322 B.C.)
Greek philosopher.
Quoted in James Comper Gray _The Biblical Museum_, p. 46 [1880].


Friends are much better tried in bad fortune than in good.
--Aristotle (384—322 B.C.)
Greek philosopher.
Quoted in _Treasury of Wisdom, Wit and Humor_
(comp. by Adam Woolιver, p. 155 [1891].

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Alonso of Aragon was wont to say in commendation of
age, that age appears to be best in four things — old
wood best to burn, old wine to drink, old friends to
trust, and old authors to read.
--Francis Bacon (1561—1626)
English philosopher and essayist.
_Apothegms_ [1624], No. 97

With regard to the choice of friends, there is little to
say; for a friend is never chosen. A secret sympathy,
the attraction of a thousand nameless qualities; a
charm in the expression of the countenance, even in
the voice, or the manner, a similarity of circumstances,
— these are the things that begin attachment.
--Mrs. Anna Letitia Barbauld [nιe Aikin] (1743—1825)
English poet.
In _The Works of Anna Lζtitia Barbauld_, V. II [1826] "On Friendship"

It is one of the severest tests of friendship to tell
your friend his faults. So to love a man that you cannot
bear to see a stain upon him, and to speak painful truth
through loving words, that is friendship.
--Henry Ward Beecher (1813—1887)
American Congregational minister; brother of
Harriet Beecher Stowe, son of Lyman Beecher.

From quiet homes and first beginning,
Out to the undiscovered ends,
There's nothing worth the wear of winning,
But laughter and the love of friends.
--Hilaire Belloc (1870—1953)
British poet, essayist, historian, and novelist.
"Dedicatory Ode"

The essence of a perfect friendship is that each
friend reveals himself utterly to the other, flings
aside his reserves and shows himself for what he
truly is.
--Robert Hugh Benson (1871—1914)
English novelist who was a son of the Archbishop of
Canterbury and became a Roman Catholic priest.
In Martin H. Manser's _The Westminster Collection
of Christian Quotations_ [2001], "Friends"

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Greater love hath no man than this, that a
man lay down his life for his friends.
--Bible
"John" 15:13


He that is not with me is against me.
--Bible
"Luke" 11:23


Wealth maketh many friends.
--Bible
"Proverbs" 19:4


Do not trust in a friend; do not put your confidence
in a companion; guard the doors of your mouth from
her who lies in your bosom.
--Bible
"Micah" 7:5


Forsake not an old friend; for the new is not comparable
to him: a new friend is as new wine; when it is old, thou
shalt drink it with pleasure.
--Bible
"Ecclesiasticus" 9:10

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Friendless, adj. Having no favors to bestow.
Destitute of fortune. Addicted to utterance
of truth and common sense.
--Ambrose Bierce (1842—1914)
American newspaperman, wit, and satirist.
_The Cynic's Word Book_ [1906]
(Retitled in 1911 as _The Devil's Dictionary_.)


Acquaintance, n. A person whom we know well
enough to borrow from, but not well enough to
lend to. A degree of friendship called slight when
its object is poor or obscure, and intimate when
he is rich or famous.
--Ambrose Bierce (1842—1914)
American newspaperman, wit, and satirist.
_The Cynic's Word Book_ [1906]
(Retitled in 1911 as _The Devil's Dictionary_.)


Friendship, n. A ship big enough to carry
two in fair weather, but only one in foul.
--Ambrose Bierce (1842—1914)
American newspaperman, wit, and satirist.
_The Cynic's Word Book_ [1906]
(Retitled in 1911 as _The Devil's Dictionary_.)

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False friends are like our shadow, keeping close to us
while we walk in the sunshine, but leaving us the instant
we walk into the shade.
--Christian Nestell Bovee (1820—1904)
American writer.
Quoted in _Gems of Thought_ (Comp. by Charles Northend) [1888].

The place where two friends first met is sacred to them
all through their friendship — all the more sacred as their
friendship deepens and grows old.
--Phillips Brooks (1835—1893)
American religious leader.
Sermon "The Young and Old Christian"

A good friend who points out mistakes and imperfections
and rebukes evil is to be more respected than though he
revealed a secret of hidden treasure.
--Buddha [Gautama] (c. 6th—4th century B.C.)
Founder of Buddhism.
Quoted in _The Teaching of Buddha_, pub. by Kenkyusha Print Co. [1966].

Whatever the number of a man's friends, there will be times in
his life when he has one too few; but if he has only one enemy,
he is lucky indeed if he has not one too many.
--Edward Bulwer-Lytton (1803—1873)
British novelist, playwright, and politician.
_What Will He Do With It?_, bk. IX, ch. III.
(Under the name of Pisistratus Caxton the book was published
in Blackwood's Magazine from June, 1857 to January, 1859.)

Let no man grumble when his friends fall off,
As they will do like leaves at the first breeze;
When your affairs come round, one way or t' other,
Go to the coffee house, and take another.
--Lord Byron [George Gordon Byron] (1788—1824)
English Romantic poet and satirist.
_Don Juan_, canto XIV, XLVIII [1823]

Don't walk behind me, I may not lead. Don't
walk in front of me, I may not follow. Just
walk beside me and be my friend.
--Albert Camus (1913—1960)
French novelist, dramatist, and essayist who won the 1957 Nobel Prize for Literature.

But of all plagues, Good Heaven, they wrath can send,
Save, save, Oh, save me from thy candid friend!
--George Canning (1770—1827)
British statesman; prime minister [1827].

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You can make more friends in two months by
becoming genuinely interested in other people
than you can in two years by trying to get
other people interested in you.
--Dale Carnegie (1888—1955)
American writer and lecturer.


In a Nutshell: Six ways to Make People Like You —
Principle 1: Become generally interested in other people.
Principle 2: Smile.
Principle 3: Remember that a person's name is to
that person the sweetest and most important sound
in any language.
Principle 4: Be a good listener. Encourage others to
talk about themselves.
Principle 5: Talk in terms of the other person's interests.
Principle 6: Make the other person feel important — and
do it sincerely.
--Dale Carnegie (1888—1955)
American writer and lecturer.
_How to Win Friends and Influence People_ [1936]

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[Rick Blaine (Humphrey Bogart), speaking to
Louis Renault (Claude Rains):]
Louie, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.
--Julius J. Epstein (1909—2000), Philip G. Epstein (1909—1952),
and Howard Koch (1902—1995), "Casablanca" [1942 film].

Agreement in likes and dislikes — this, and this
only, is what constitutes true friendship.
--Cataline (108—62 B.C.)
Roman politician.
In Sallust (86?—34? B.C.) _The War with Cataline_

The best way to find out if you have any friends is
to go broke. The ones that hang on longest are your
friends. I don't mean the ones that hang on forever.
There aren't any of those.
--Raymond Chandler (1888—1959)
American writer of detective fiction.
Letter to Carl Brandt [18 April 1949.]

Treat your friends as you do your pictures,
and place them in their best light.
--Jennie Jerome Churchill (1854—1921)
American-born British mother of Winston Churchill.
"Friendship", _Small Talk on Big Subjects_ [1916]

Friendship improves happiness, and abates misery,
by the doubling of our joy and dividing our of grief.
--Marcus Tullius Cicero (106—43 BC)
Roman orator and statesman.
(Attributed to Cicero in the 68th issue of _The Spectator_.)

An old man passed me on the street today;
I thought I knew him but I couldn't say.
I stopped to think if I could place his frame.
When he tipped his hat I knew his name.
Hello old friend,
It's really good to see you once again.
Hello old friend,
It's really good to see you once again.
--Eric Clapton (1945— )
English singer and guitarist.
"Hello Old Friend" [song]

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Alas! they had been friends in youth;
But whispering tongues can poison truth.
--Samuel Taylor Coleridge (1772—1834)
English poet, critic, and philosopher.
_Christabel_, pt. II


Friends should be weighed, not told; who boasts to
have won a multitude of friends has never had one.
--Samuel Taylor Coleridge (1772—1834)
English poet, critic, and philosopher.
In Maturin M. Ballou
_Treasury of Thought_ p. 192 [15th ed. 1894].

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In prosperity our friends know us;
In adversity we know our friends.
--J. Churton Collins (1884—1908)
British author, critic, and scholar.
In Robert Andrews
_The Concise Columbia Dictionary of Quotations_, p. 5 [1989].

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An act by which we make one friend and one enemy
is a losing game, because revenge is a much stronger
principle than gratitude.
--C.C. Colton (1780—1832)
English clergyman and writer.
_Lacon: or, Many Things in Few Words; Addressed to Those Who Think_ [1820]


True friendship is like sound health, the value
of it is seldom known until it be lost.
--C.C. Colton (1780—1832)
English clergyman and writer.
_Lacon: or, Many Things in Few Words; Addressed to Those Who Think_ [1820]


If you want enemies, excel others; if you
want friends, let others excel you.
--C.C. Colton (1780—1832)
English clergyman and writer.
_Lacon: or, Many Things in Few Words; Addressed to Those Who Think_ [1820]


Friendship often ends in love;
but love in friendship — never.
--C.C. Colton (1780—1832)
English clergyman and writer.
In James Wood _Dictionary of Quotations from Ancient and
Modern English and Foreign Sources_, p. 108 [1899].

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Have no friends not equal to yourself.
--Confucius (551—479 B.C.)
K'ung Ch'iu, Chinese philosopher.
_The Confucian Analects_


There are three friendships which are advantageous, and
three which are injurious. Friendship with the upright;
friendship with the sincere; and friendship with the man
of much observation; these are advantages. Friendship
with the man of specious airs; friendship with the
insinuatingly soft; and friendship with the glib-tongued;
these are injurious.
--Confucius (551—479 B.C.)
K'ung Ch'iu, Chinese philosopher.
_Analects_, xvi, c.500 B.C.
from H.L. Mencken's _Dictionary of Quotations_

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I would not enter on my list of friends,
(Though graced with polish'd manner and fine sense,
Yet wanting sensibility) the man
Who needlessly sets foot upon a worm.
--William Cowper (1731—1800)
English poet and hymnodist.
_The Task_ [1785] Bk. VI

Oh, the comfort — the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with
a person — having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words,
but pouring them all right out, just as they are, chaff and grain
together; certain that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep
what is worth keeping, and then with the breath of kindness blow
the rest away.
--Dinah Mulock Craik (1826—1887)
English writer and poet.
_A Life for a Life_, ch. 16 [1859]

Fate chooses our relatives, we choose our friends.
--Jacques Delille (1738—1813)
French poet.
"Malheur et Pitiι", canto I [1803]

Love your enemies, just in case your friends
turn out to be bunch of bastards.
--R.A. Dickson

To find a friend one must close one
eye. To keep him — two.
--Norman Douglas (1868—1952)
Austrian-born British novelist and essayist.
_Almanac_ [1941]

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You got a lot of nerve
To say you were my friend
When I was down
You just stood there grinning

You got a lot of nerve
To say you got a helping hand to lend
You just want to be on
The side that's winning.

--Bob Dylan [Robert Allen Zimmerman] (1941— )
American singer and songwriter.
"Positively 4th Street" [1965 song]

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Animals are such agreeable friends — they
ask no questions, they pass no criticisms.
--George Eliot [Mary Ann Evans] (1819—1880)
English novelist.
_Scenes of Clerical Life_, ch. 7 [1857]
(Published anonymously in Blackwood's Magazine)

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We walk alone in the world. Friends, such as
we desire, are dreams and fables.
--Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803—1882)
American philosopher and poet.
"Friendship" _Essays_, First Series [1841]


It is one of the blessings of old friends that
you can afford to be stupid with them.
--Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803—1882)
American philosopher and poet.


The only way to have a friend is to be one.
--Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803—1882)
American philosopher and poet.
_Essays_, First Series [1841], "Friendship"


A friend is a person with whom I may be
sincere. Before him I may think aloud.
--Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803—1882)
American philosopher and poet.
"Friendship" _Essays_, First Series [1841]


Better be a nettle in the side of your
friend than his echo.
--Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803—1882)
American philosopher and poet.
"Friendship" _Essays_, First Series [1841]


The glory of friendship is not the outstretched hand,
nor the kindly smile nor the joy of companionship; it
is the spiritual inspiration that comes to one when he
discovers that someone else believes in him and is
willing to trust him.
--Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803—1882)
American philosopher and poet.

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In prosperity it is very easy to find a friend; but
in adversity it is the most difficult of all things.
--Epictetus (55—135)
Greek philosopher.
_Fragments_ CXXVII

Louie, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.
--Julius J. Epstein, Philip G. Epstein, Howard Koch,
screenplay, "Casablanca" [1942] [Rick speaking]

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'Tis great Confidence in a Friend to tell
him your Faults, greater to tell him his.
--Benjamin Franklin (1706—1790)
American politician, inventor, and scientist.
_Poor Richard's Almanack [August 1751]


There are three faithful friends: an old
wife, an old dog, and ready money.
--Benjamin Franklin (1706—1790)
American politician, inventor, and scientist.
_Poor Richard's Almanack_ [June 1738]


Be slow in choosing a friend, slower in changing.
--Benjamin Franklin (1706—1790)
American politician, inventor, and scientist.
_Poor Richard's Almanack_, Pub. by U.S.C. Publishing Co. [1914]

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Those will be thy worst Enemies not to whom thou
hast doth evil, but who had done evil to thee.
And those will be thy best Friends not to whom
thou hast done good, but who have done good to
thee.
--Thomas Fuller (1654—1734)
English writer and physician.


There is a scarcity of friendship,
but not of friends.
--Thomas Fuller (1654—1734)
English writer and physician.


Make not a bosom friend of a melancholy soul: he'll be sure
to aggravate thy adversity and lessen thy prosperity. He
goes always heavily loaded; and thou must bear half. He is
never in a good humor; and may easily get into a bad one,
and fall out with thee.
--Thomas Fuller (1654—1734)
English writer and physician.
Quoted in Tryon Edwards _A Dictionary of Thoughts_, p. 186 [1908].


Purchase no friends by gifts; when thou ceasest to give
such will cease to love.
--Thomas Fuller (1654—1734)
English writer and physician.
Quoted in Louis Klopsch _Many Thoughts of Many Minds_ p. 101 [1896].

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'Tis thus that on the choice of friends
Our good or evil name depends.
--John Gay (1685—1732)
English poet and dramatist.
_Fables_, Pt. I "The Old Woman and Her Cats" [1727]


An open foe may prove a curse,
But a pretended friend is worse.
--John Gay (1685—1732)
English poet and dramatist.
_Fables_ [1727] "The Shepherd's Dog and the Wolf"

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You may forget the one with whom you have laughed,
but never the one with whom you have wept.
--Kahlil Gibran (1883—1931)
Lebanese poet.
_Sand and Foam_ [1926]

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Never have a companion who casts
you in the shade.
--Baltasar Graciαn (1601—1658)
Spanish Jesuit philosopher.
_The Art of Worldly Wisdom_ [1647]


True friendship multiplies the good in
life and divides its evils. Strive to have
friends, for life without friends is like
life on a desert island...to find one real
friend in a lifetime is good fortune; to
keep him is a blessing.
--Baltasar Graciαn (1601—1658)
Spanish Jesuit philosopher.


There is no wilderness like a life without friends; friendship
multiplies blessings and minimizes misfortunes; it is a unique
remedy against adversity, and it soothes the soul.
--Baltasar Graciαn (1601—1658)
Spanish Jesuit philosopher.


A wise man gets more use from his
enemies than a fool from his friends.
--Baltasar Graciαn (1601—1658)
Spanish Jesuit philosopher.
_The Art of Worldly Wisdom_ [1647]

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The silence of a friend commonly amounts to
treachery. His not daring to say anything in
our behalf implies a tacit censure.
--William Hazlitt (1778—1830)
English essayist.


Friendship is cemented by interest, vanity, or the
want of amusement: it seldom implies esteem, or
even mutual regard.
--William Hazlitt (1778—1830)
English essayist.
_The Round Table_ "Characteristics" CCCCXII [1817]

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^

Heinrich Heine (1797—1856)
German poet.

Heine died in proverty, deserted by his friends.
The sole person to attend his deathbed in his
squalid Parisian garret was the composer Berlioz,
'I always thought you were an original, Berlioz,'
observed the dying man.

^

I decided to stop drinking with creeps.
I decided to drink only with friends.
I've lost 30 pounds.
--Ernest Hemingway (1889—1961)
American novelist.
Quoted in "American Way" (magazine) [August 1974].

There is no friend like an old friend
Who has shared our morning days,
No greeting like his welcome,
No homage like his praise.
--Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr. (1841—1935)
Justice of the United States Supreme Court, legal historian, and philosopher.
"No Time Like The Old Time"

Probably no man ever had a friend he
did not dislike a little; we are all so
constituted by nature no one can
possibly entirely approve of us.
--Edgar Watson Howe (1854—1937)
American journalist and author.
_The Indignations of E.W. Howe_ [1933]

Your friend is the man who knows all
about you, and still likes you.
--Elbert Hubbard (1859—1915)
American editor, publisher, and author who died in the sinking of the "Lusitania".
_A Thousand and One Epigrams_ p. 88 [1911]

My father always used to say that when you die,
if you've got five real friends, then you've had a
great life.
--Lee Iacocca (1924— )
American automobile executive.
_Iacocca: An Autobiography_ [1984] (Written with William Novak)

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There are good ships and there are wood ships,
And ships that sail the sea.
But the best ships are friendships,
And may they always be.
--Irish toast


May the roof above us never fall in,
And may friends gathered below never fall out.
--Irish toast

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An injured friend is the bitterest of foes.
--Thomas Jefferson (1743—1826)
American statesman and president [1801—1809].
"French Treaties Opinion" vii. 618.

The friendship that can cease has never been real.
--Saint Jerome (c.340—420?)
Translator of the Bible from Greek and Hebrew into Latin.
_Letter 3_

My life is spent in a perpetual alternation between two
rhythms, the rhythm of attracting people for fear I may
be lonely, and the rhythm of trying to get rid of them
because I know that I am bored.
--C.E.M. Joad (1891—1953)
English philosopher.
In "Observer" [12 Demember 1948].

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If a man does not make new acquaintances as he
advances through life, he will soon find himself
left alone. A man, sir, should keep his friendship
in a constant repair.
--Samuel Johnson (1709—1784)
English poet, critic, and lexicographer.
In James Boswell _Life of Samuel Johnson_ [1791] (entry for 1755)


To let friendship die away by negligence and
silence, is certainly not wise. It is voluntarily
to throw away one of the greatest comforts
of this weary pilgrimage.
--Samuel Johnson (1709—1784)
English poet, critic, and lexicographer.
_Boswell's Life of Johnson_ [20 March 1782]

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In the end, we will remember not the words
of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.
--Martin Luther King, Jr. (1929—1968)
American civil rights leader.

[Friends are] God's apology for relations.
--Hugh Kingsmill (1889—1949)
English writer.
In Michael Holroyd _The Best of Hugh Kingsmill_ [1970].

Nothing is more dangerous than a friend without
discretion; even a prudent enemy is preferable.
--Jean de La Fontaine (1621—1695)
French poet.
_Fables_, bk VIII, no. 10 [1668—1679]

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It is more shameful to distrust one's
friends than to be deceived by them.
--Franηois de La Rochefoucauld (1613—1680)
French classical author.


What makes us like new acquaintances is not so
much the weariness we have of the old ones or
the pleasure of changing, as the disgust of not
being admired enough by those who know us too
well, and the hope of being more admired by
those who do not know us as well.
--Franηois de La Rochefoucauld (1613—1680)
French classical author.
_Reflections; or, Sentences and Moral Maxims_ [1678], Number 178


In the adversity of our best friends we often find
something which does not displease us.
--Franηois de La Rochefoucauld (1613—1680)
French classical author.
_Maxims_ [1665] #99

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I have had playmates, I have had companions;
In my days of childhood, in my joyful school days —
All, all are gone, the old familiar faces.
--Charles Lamb (1775—1834)
English essayist.
_Old Familiar Faces_ [1798]

No friendship is so cordial or so delicious as that of
girl for girl; no hatred so intense and immovable as
that of woman for woman.
--Walter Savage Landor (1775—1864)
English poet, essayist, and critic.
_Imaginary Conversations_ [1824—1853]

Depend on no man, on no friend, but
him who can depend on himself.
--Johann Kaspar Lavater (1741—1801)
Swiss writer, Protestant pastor, and founder of physiognomics.

I'm a controversial figure. My friends
either dislike me or hate me.
--Oscar Levant (1906—1972)
American pianist and actor.
Quoted in the introduction to
Artemus Ward _Artemus Ward, His Book_ [1964 ed.].

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Never, never pin your whole faith on any human
being; not if he is the best and wisest in the whole
world. There are lots of nice things you can do
with sand, but do not try building a house on it.
--C.S. [Clive Staples] Lewis (1898—1963)
British scholar and novelist.
_Mere Christianity_ [1952], Book 4, Chapter 7


Friendship is born at the moment when one person
says to another, 'What! You too? I thought I was
the only one.'
--C.S. [Clive Staples] Lewis (1898—1963)
British scholar and novelist.
_The Four Loves_ [1960]

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Stand with anybody that stands *right*. Stand
will him while he is right and *part* with
him when he goes wrong.
--Abraham Lincoln (1809—1865)
American Republican statesman, President [1861—1865].
Speech on the Kansas-Nebraska Act, [16 October 1854].

We spake of many a vanished scene,
Of what we once had thought and said,
Of what had been, and might have been,
And who was changed, and who was dead;
And all that fills the hearts of friends,
When first they feel, with secret pain,
Their lives thenceforth have separate ends,
And never can be one again.
--Henry Wadsworth Longfellow (1807—1882)
American poet.
"The Fire of Drift-Wood", l. 13
in _The Seaside and the Fireside_ [1850]

There is nothing we like to see so much as the gleam of pleasure
in a person's eye when he feels that we have sympathized with
him, understood him, interested ourself in his welfare. At these
moments something fine and spiritual passes between two
friends. These moments are the moments worth living.
--Don Marquis (1878—1937)
American poet and journalist.

-

When you choose your friends, don't be short-changed
by choosing personality over character.
--W. Somerset Maugham (1874—1965)
English novelist, playwright, and short-story writer.
Attributed in Noah benShea
_Great Quotes to Inspire Great Teachers_, p. 22 [2001].


It's no good trying to keep up old friendships. It's painful for both
sides. The fact is, one grows out of people, and the only thing is
to face it.
--W. Somerset Maugham (1874—1965)
English novelist, playwright, and short-story writer.
_Cakes and Ale_ [1930]

-

No love, no friendship can cross the path of
our destiny without leaving some mark on it
forever.
--Franηois Mauriac (1885—1970)
French poet, novelist, and dramatist.

I am persuaded that he who is capable of being a bitter
enemy can never possess the necessary virtues that
constitute a true friend.
--William Melmoth (1710—1799)
English author.
_Fitzosborne's Letters, on Several Subjects_ [1758 5th ed.]

Money couldn't buy friends, but
you got a better class of enemy.
--Spike [Terence Alan] Milligan (1918—2002)
Irish novelist, poet, musician, and comedian.
_Puckoon_, Ch. 6 [1963]

Birds of a feather flock together.
--John Minsheu (1559/60—1627)
English linguist and lexicographer.
_A Spanish Grammar_ [1599]

Men use care in purchasing a horse, and
are neglectful in choosing friends.
--John Muir (1838—1914)
Scottish-born naturalist who was largely responsible
for the creation of Sequoia and Yosemite national parks.

If you have a suffering friend, be a resting-place
for his suffering, but a resting-place like a hard
bed, a camp-bed: thus you will serve him best.
--Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche (1844—1900)
German classical scholar, philosopher, and critic of culture.
"Of the Compassionate" in _Thus Spoke Zarathustra_ [1892]

-

Each friend represents a world in us, a world
not born until they arrive, and it is only by
this meeting that a new world is born.
--Anaοs Nin (1903—1977)
French-born American writer.
_The Diary of Anaοs Nin_ vol II [1967], [entry of March 1937.]


What I cannot love, I overlook.
Is that real friendship?
--Anaοs Nin (1903—1977)
French-born American writer.
"San Francisco"
_The Diary of Anaοs Nin_ [Written 1944—1947 & first published in 1966]

-

When we honestly ask ourselves which person in
our lives means the most to us, we often find that
it is those who, instead of giving much advice,
solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share
our pain and touch our wounds with a gentle and
tender hand. The friend who can be silent with us
in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay
with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who
can tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing
and face with us the reality of our powerlessness,
that is a friend who cares.
--Henri Nouwen (1932—1996)
Dutch Catholic priest and writer.
_Out of Solitude_ [1974]

As long as you are fortunate you will have
many friends, but if the times become cloudy
you will be alone.
--Ovid [Publius Ovidius Naso] (43 B.C.—18 A.D.)
Roman poet.
"Tristium" I. 9. 5.

Four be the things I am wiser to know:
Idleness, sorrow, a friend, and a foe.
Four be the things I'd been better without:
Love, curiosity, freckles, and doubt.
Three be the things I shall never attain:
Envy, content, and sufficient champagne.
Three be the things I shall have till I die:
Laughter and hope and a sock in the eye.
--Dorothy Parker (1893—1967)
American critic and humorist.
"Inventory" [1926]

I lay it down as a fact that if all men knew what
others say of them, there would not be four
friends in the world.
--Blaise Pascal (1623—1662)
French mathematician, physicist, and moralist.
_Pensιes_ ("Thoughts"), no. 646 [1658]

Prosperity is no just scale; adversity is the
only balance to weigh friends.
--Plutarch (A.D. 46?—119?)
Greek philosopher and biographer.

The bonds that unite another person to ourself exist only in our mind.
Memory as it grows fainter relaxes them, and notwithstanding the illusion
by which we would fain be cheated and with which, out of love, friendship,
politeness, deference, duty, we cheat other people we exist alone. Man is
the only creature that cannot emerge from himself, that knows his fellows
only in himself; when he aserts the contrary he is lying.
--Marcel Proust (1871—1922)
French novelist.
_Remembrance of Things Past_ [1913—1927] "The Sweet Cheat Gone"

Prosperity makes friends; adversity tries them.
--Publilius Syrus (85—43 B.C.)
Latin writer of mimes who was originally a slave.
_Maxims_

True friendship is never serene.
--Marie de Rabutin-Chantal, Marquise de Sιvignι
(1626—1696)
French writer whose letters constitute one of the
most celebrated collections of epistolary writing.
_Lettres. A Madama de Grignan_ [10 September 1671]

May the hinges of friendship never rust,
or the wings of love lose a feather.
--Edward Bannerman Ramsey (1793—1872)
[Dean of the University of Edinburgh].
_Reminiscences of Scottish Life: A Toast_

In time of prosperity friends will be plenty.
In time of adversity not one among twenty.
--John Ray (1627—1705)
English naturalist and botanist.
_Comp., A Collection of English Proverbs_ p. 11 [1678]

We learn our virtues from the bosom friends who love us; our
faults from the enemy who hates us. We cannot easily discover
our real form from a friend. He is a mirror on which the warmth
of our breath impedes the clearness of the reflection.
--Jean Paul Richter (1763—1825)
German novelist.
Quoted in Maturin M. Ballou
_Treasury of Thought_ p. 190 [15th ed. 1894].

It is said that friendship between women
is only a suspension of hostilities.
--Antoine de Rivarol (1753—1801)
French man of letters.
Quoted in Maturin M. Ballou _Notable Thoughts about Women_ p. 294 [1882].

My friends have failed one by one,
Middle-aged, young, and old,
Till the ghosts were warmer to me
Than my friends that had grown cold.
--Christina Rossetti [pseud. Ellen Alleyne] (1830—1894)
English poet.
_A Chilly Night_ [1856], Stanza 2

It takes a great deal of bravery to stand up to our
enemies, but just as much to stand up to our friends.
--J.K. Rowling (1966— )
Scottish novelist.
_Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone_ [1997]

What became of the friends I had
With whom I was always so close
And loved so dearly?
[...]
Friendship is dead:
They were friends who go with the wind,
And the wind was blowing at my door.
--Rutebeuf (1245—1285)
French poet.
"La Complainte Rutebeuf"

-

A friend whom you have been gaining during your whole life,
you ought not to be displeased with in a moment. A stone is
many years becoming a ruby; take care that you do not
destroy it in an instant against another stone.
--Sa'di [Muslih-uddin] (c. 1213—1292)
Iranian poet.
_The Gulistan, or Rose Garden_, Ch. 8 "Rules for Conduct in Life" [1258]


O wise man, wash your hands of that friend
who associates with your enemies.
--Sa'di [Muslih-uddin] (c. 1184—1291?)
Iranian poet.

-

If in this troubled world of ours
I still must linger on,
My only friend shall be the moon,
Which on my sadness shone,
When other friends were gone.
--Emperor Sanjo (976—1017)
The 67th emperor of Japan.
Poem, after 1016; William N. Porter (trans.)
_A Hundred Verses from Old Japan_p. 68 [1979].

-

-

Some people have a large circle of friends
while others have only friends that they like.
--George Santayana (1863—1952)
Spanish-born philosopher and critic.


Friendship is almost always the union of a part
of one mind with a part of another; people are
friends in spots.
--George Santayana (1863—1952)
Spanish-born philosopher and critic.

-

Old friends are best. King James us'd to call for
his Old Shoes, they were easiest for his Feet.
--John Selden (1584—1654)
English historian.
_Table Talk_ [1689]

-

We are advertised by our loving friends.
--William Shakespeare (1564—1616)
English dramatist.


He that is thy friend indeed
He will help thee in thy need.
--William Shakespeare (1564—1616)
English dramatist.
"The Passionate Pilgrim" [1599]


Et tu, Brute? (You too, Brutus?)
--William Shakespeare (1564—1616)
English dramatist.
_Julius Caesar_ [1599], act 3, sc.1

-

Grant stood by me when I was crazy, and
I stood by him when he was drunk, and
now we stand by each other.
--attributed to William Tecumseh Sherman
(1820—1891) American Union general [c. 1870].

Think not those faithful who praise all thy words and
actions, but those who kindly reprove thy faults.
--Socrates (470?—399 B.C.)
Greek philosopher.
Quoted in Henry Southgate (Editor)
_Many Thoughts of Many Minds_ p. 496 [1862, 3rd edition].

Chide a friend in private and praise him in public.
--Solon (630?—560? B.C.)
Athenian lawmaker and Lyric poet.
Quoted in William Meade Pegram _Past-Times_, p. 140 [1909].

People ... young, and raw, and soft-natured, think it an easy
thing to gain love, and reckon their own friendship a sure
price of another man's. But when experience shall have once
opened their eyes and showed them the hardness of most
hearts, the hollowness of others, and the baseness and
ingratitude of almost all, they will then find that a friend is
the gift of God; and that he only, who made hearts, can
unite them.
--Bishop Robert South (1634—1716)
English theologian and author.
_Sermons Preached Upon Several Occasions_
"Of the Love of Christ to his Disciples" Sermom XIV, Vol. I [1866 ed.]

So long as we love we serve; so long as we are loved
by others, I might almost say that we are indispensable;
and no man is useless while he has a friend.
--Robert Louis Stevenson (1850—1894)
Scottish essayist, poet, and novelist.

Never speak ill of yourself; your friends will always say enough on that subject.
--Charles Maurice de Talleyrand-Pιrigord (1754—1838)
French statesman.
Attributed in Herbert Victor Prochnow
_Speaker's Handbook of Epigrams and Witticisms_[1955]

He makes no friend who never made a foe.
--Alfred, Lord Tennyson (1809—1892)
English poet.
_Idylls of the King_, l. 1109

Choose a good disagreeable friend, if you be
wise — a surly, steady, economical, rigid fellow.
--William Makepeace Thackeray (1811—1863)
English novelist.
_Sketches and Travels in London_ "On Friendship"

I had two friends. The one offered me friendship
on such terms that I could not accept it without
a sense of degradation. He would not meet me
on equal terms, but only be to some extend my
patron. He would not come to see me, but was
hurt if I did not visit him. He would not readily
accept a favor, but would gladly confer one.
--Henry David Thoreau (1817—1862)
American essayist, poet, and practical philosopher.
_Journal_ [4 March 1856]

-

"Around the Corner"
By Henson Towne

Around the corner I have a friend,
In this great city that has no end,
Yet the days go by and weeks rush on,
And before I know it, a year is gone.
And I never see my old friends face,
For life is a swift and terrible race,
He knows I like him just as well,
As in the days when I rang his bell.
And he rang mine
if, we were younger then,
And now we are busy, tired men.
Tired of playing a foolish game,
Tired of trying to make a name.
"Tommorow" I say "I will call on Jim"
"Just to show that I'm thinking of him."
But tommorow comes and tommorow goes,
And distance between us grows and grows.
Around the corner! — yet miles away,
"Here's a telegram sir"
"Jim died today."
And thats what we get and deserve in the end.
Around the corner, a vanished friend.

-

The holy passion of Friendship is of so sweet
and steady and loyal and enduring a nature
that it will last through a whole lifetime, if
not asked to lend money.
--Mark Twain [Samuel Langhorne Clemens] (1835—1910)
American humorist, novelist, journalist, and river pilot.
_Pudd'nhead Wilson_ [1894] ch. 7 epigraph: "Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar"

When a friend succeeds, a little something in me dies.
--Gore Vidal (b. 1925)
American writer.
Quoted in "Sunday Times Magazine" [16 September 1973].

Old friends are the great blessings of one's latter years.
Half a word conveys one's meaning. They have memory
of the same events, and have the same mode of thinking.
I have young relations that may grow upon me, for my
nature is affectionate, but can they grow old friends?
My age forbids that. Still less can they grow companions.
Is it friendship to explain half one says? One must relate
the history of one's memory and ideas; and what is
that to the young but old stories?
--Horace Walpole (1717—1797)
English writer and connoisseur.
Quoted in Maturin M. Ballou _Treasury of Thought_ p. 190 [15th ed. 1894].

Be courteous to all, but intimate with few;
and let those few be well tried before you
give them your confidence. True friendship
is a plant of slow growth, and must undergo
and withstand the shocks of adversity before
it is entitled to the appellation.
--George Washington (1732—1799)
American general and commander-in-chief of the colonial armies in the American
Revolution [1775—1783] and first president of the United States [1789—1797].
Letter to his nephew Bushrod Washington, [15 January 1783].

We cherish our friends not for their ability
to amuse us, but for ours to amuse them.
--Evelyn Waugh (1903—1966)
Engish novelist.

[Of George Bernard Shaw:]
He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by all his friends.
--Oscar Wilde (1854—1900)
Anglo-Irish dramatist and poet.
Quoted by W.B. Yeats in his 1891 review of Wilde's
_Lord Arthur Savile's Crime and Other Stories_.

-

Skywalker: Your overconfidence is your weakness.
Emperor: Your faith in your friends is yours.
--Kasdon and Lucas, screenplay,
"Return of the Jedi" [1983]

You can pick your friends.
You can pick your nose.
But you can't pick your friend's nose.
--anon.

-----

amity [AM-uh-tee], noun:
Friendship; friendly relations,
especially between nations.

camaraderie (noun) [kah-muh-'rah-duh-ree]
Spirit of friendship, loyalty, warm fellowship.

comity [KOM-uh-tee], noun:
1. A state of mutual harmony, friendship, and respect,
especially between or among nations or people; civility.
2. The courteous recognition by one nation of the laws
and institutions of another.
3. The group of nations observing international comity.

gregarious (adj.) [grκ-'gζr-ee-κs]
Seeking out and enjoying the company
of others; aggressively sociable.


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