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. . see "COMMUNICATION" for related links Eloquence is logic on fire. --Lyman Beecher (1775—1865) Presbyterian clergyman and abolitionist. [Father of Henry Ward Beecher & Harriet Beecher Stowe.] Eloquence, n. The art of orally persuading fools that white is the color that it appears to be. It includes the gift of making any color appear white. --Ambrose Bierce (1842—1914) American newspaperman, wit, and satirist. Eloquence is the poetry of prose. --William Cullen Bryant (1794—1878) American poet and editor. Discourse may want an animated "No" To brush the surface, and to make it flow; But still remember, if you mean to please, To press your point with modesty and ease. --William Cowper (1731—1800) English poet and hymnodist. _Conversation_, l. 101 I grow intoxicated with my own eloquence. --Benjamin Disraeli (1804—1881) British Tory statesman, novelist, and Prime Minister [1868, 1874—1880]. The learned fool writes his nonsense in better language than the unlearned, but still 'tis nonsense. --Benjamin Franklin (1706—1790) American politician, inventor, and scientist. _Poor Richard Improved_ [1748] Gentlemen, do you know what is the finest speech that I ever in my life heard or read? It is the address of Garibaldi to his Roman soldiers, when he told them: 'Soldier, what I have to offer you is fatigue, danger, struggle and death; the chill of the cold night in the free air, and heat under the burning sun; no lodgings, no munitions, no provisions, but forced marches, dangerous watchposts and the continual struggle with the bayonet against batteries; — those who love freedom and their country may follow me.' That is the most glorious speech I ever heard in my life. --Lajos Kossuth (1802—1894) Hungarian lawyer and journalist. Eloquence is a painting of the thoughts. --Blaise Pascal (1623—1662) French mathematician, physicist, and moralist. _Pensées_ [1670] That besotting intoxication which verbal magic brings upon the mind. --Bishop Robert South (1634—1716) English theologian and author. True eloquence, indeed, does not consist in speech. It cannot be brought from far. Labor and learning may toil for it, but they will toil in vain. Words and phrases may be marshaled in every way, but they cannot compass it. It must exist in the man, in the subject, and in the occasion. --Daniel Webster (1782—1852) American orator and politician.  . . see "SUPERNATURAL" for related links "How to Treat Elves" by Morris Bishop (1893—1973) American linguist and writer of light verse. I met an elf-man in the woods, the wee-est little elf! Sitting under a mushroom tall- 'twas taller than himself. "How do you do, little elf," I said, "and what do you do all day?" "I dance and frolic about," said he, "and jump about and play! "I su'prise the butterflies, and when a katydid I see, 'Katy didn't!' I say to him, and 'Katy did!' he says to me! "I hide behind my mushroom stalk when Mister Mole comes through, and only just to fwighten him I jump out and say, 'Boo!' "And then I swing on a cobweb swing, up in the air so high! And the crickets chirp just to hear me sing, 'Upsy daisy die!' "And then I play with the baby chicks — I call them, 'Chick! chick! chick!' And what do you think of that?" said he. I said, "It makes me sick." It gives me sharp and shooting pains to listen to such drool, so I lifted up my foot and squashed the goddamned little fool. . . (Elvis Presley (1935—1977) American singer) see "MUSIC" for related links see "PEOPLE" for related links - As Elvis' fame spread and he appeared on national television, many sprang forward to defend the nation's youth against this seeming threat to their morals. "This rock 'n' roll is a contributing factor to juvenile delinquency," said one critic. Others campaigned to have Presley records removed from jukeboxes. Some radio stations proclaimed a no-Elvis, no-rock policy. And when he made his historic third appearance on "The Ed Sullivan Show," he sang to one of the largest TV audiences ever. But the cameras cut him off at the waist. The irony was that Elvis never embodies the danger to the moral order some feared. He was not a saint, but he remained all his life an essentially decent, God-loving human being who never knowingly hurt anyone but himself. --Lawrence Elliott _Reader's Digest_ [August 1993], "Where Elvis Lives" Elvis did not die with a fortune; he spent nearly all he made. The stories are legion: Elvis standing beside two daydreaming newlyweds in a Cadillac showroom. "Which one do you like?" he asks. They point and he says, "Get in, it's yours." Or the young Elvis, a skinny kid with ridiculous sideburns, brushed off by a salesman, going out to ask an elderly man washing down new models, "Caddy a good car?" The man nods. Elvis marches him up to the sales manager and says, "This gentleman sold me on that convertible over there, so I'm buying two, one for me and one for him. And he's to have the commission on both." Every Christmas he gave $1,000 each to 50 Memphis charities, but no one will ever know the number of people whose businesses he rescued, or the tornado victims to whom he sent house trailers or the destitute whose hospital bills he paid. He thought that's what money was for. --Lawrence Elliott _Reader's Digest_ [August 1993], "Where Elvis Lives" - Mr. Presley has no discernible singing ability. His specialty is rhythm songs which he renders in an undistinguished whine; his phrasing, if it can be called that, consists of the stereotyped variations that go with a beginner's aria in a bathtub. For the ear he is an unutterable bore. --Jack Gould (1914—1993) Television critic of the New York Times [1947—1972] _New York Times_ [6 June 1956], "TV: New Phenomenon" - I completed my two-year tour in Germany at the end of 1960. . . . My battalion commander, Lieutenant Colonel Jim Bartholomees, asked me to extend. But I was homesick. I had a girl whom I had not seen for sixteen months. And I was ready for a change. . . . Long afterward, I was telling my children about this period, and they perked up at only one story. One morning, during maneuvers, we had come upon a scout jeep from another unit parked on a narrow road near Giessen. "Hey, Lieutenant," one of my men shouted. "Come on over. Look who's here." I walked over to the jeep, where a grimy, weary-looking sergeant saluted me and put out his hand. It was Elvis Presley. That their father had shaken the King's hand astonished my kids. What impressed me at the time was that instead of seeking celebrity treatment, Elvis had done his two-year hitch, uncomplainingly, as an ordinary GI, even rising to the responsibility of an NCO. --Colin L. Powell (1937- ) Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff [1989-1993] and Secretary of State [2001-2005]. _My American Journey_ [1995], "A Soldier's Life For Me" -  EMBARRASS(MENT) . . see: "BLUSHING" see "EMOTIONS & FEELINGS" for other related links This Earle of Oxford, making of his low obeisance to Queen Elizabeth, happened to let a Fart, at which he was so abashed and ashamed that he went to Travell, 7 yeares. On his returne the queen welcomed him home and sayd, My Lord, I had forgott the Fart. --John Aubrey (1626—1697) English antiquarian and writer. _Brief Lives_ [1898] ^ W.H. [Wystan Hugh] Auden (1907—1973), British poet who became an American citizen. Just after acquiring his first set of dentures, Auden attended a tea party given by some ladies in Boston. When his hostess asked him to blow out the flame under the teapot, Auden did so with gusto. 'My dear,' he later said, 'the din! My uppers went crashing into my neighbor's empty teacup!' --_Bartlett's Book of Anecdotes_ edited by Clifton Fadiman and André Bernard [2000 ed.] ^ Exerpts from an article in "FYI" by Christopher Buckley (1952— ) American political satirist. [ . . . ] Vice President Hubert Humphrey made a beaut of a slip when he remarked, "No sane person in the country likes the war in Vietnam, and neither does President Johnson." Ronald Reagan said during a speech that "Facts are stupid things." (Make that stubborn...) My favorite Freudian slip story is the man telling his friend about what happened when he went to the train station to buy two tickets to Pittsburgh. "The ticket agent," he said, "was a woman. She had an amazing figure, and when I got to the counter, I asked her for 'two pickets to Tittsburgh.' " "That's nothing," his friend replied. "I took my mother out to dinner last night and told her, 'You've ruined my life, you horrible bitch!' It just slipped out." [. . . ] Runner-up in the Department of Unfortunate Mispronounciations goes to Mrs. Stuyvesant Fish, attending a fancy dress ball in Newport. At the door, she whispered to the embayeur the theme of her costume: "A Norman peasant." The major-domo thundered loud to the assembled in the hall: "An enormous pheasant." Costumes can only lead to confusion. Robert Benchley, leaving the "21" Club one night, saw a man adorned with gold braid, assumed he was the doorman and instructed him to call a cab. The man starchily replied, "I am an admiral." "In that case," said Benchley, "call me a battleship." A few years ago in London, at a white-tie ball, Claus von Bulow good-naturedly teased a man for showing up in black tie. The man shot back, "At least I didn't kill my wife." British Foreign Minister George Brown was at a state dinner in Vienna in 1966. He had enjoyed his wine, and upon hearing the orchestra strike up a tune, turned to an exquisite creature in violet beside him and said, "Madame, you look ravishing. May we dance?" The exquisite creature in violet turned to him and said, in perfect English, "No, Mr. Brown, for three reasons. Firstly, this is a state dinner, not a ball. Secondly, were this a ball and not a state dinner, this would still be the Austrian state anthem, and not a waltz. And thirdly, were this a ball and not a state dinner, and were that a waltz and not the Austrian state anthem, I would still be the Cardinal Archbishop of Vienna." [. . . ] Jose Maria Velasco Ibarra was five times President of Ecuador. He was always being deposed. On one occasion, he turned up at an embassy reception. Accounts vary. He either urinated in the punch bowl or vomited over the West German ambassador. The army immediately deposed him for having compromised the dignity of the Republic. [ . . . ] In 1915, the Washington Post ran an item about President Woodrow Wilson escorting his fiancee, Edith Galt, to the theater. Wilson was so attentive to her that he barely paid any attention to the play. The reporter from the Post noted that the President was intent on entertaining Mrs. Galt, but a typesetting error resulted in people reading the next morning that the President "spent most of his time entering Mrs. Galt." One wonders if typos this exquisite are truly accidental. Shortly after she became Queen, Elizabeth II made a royal tour of London. One of the newspapers reported that at one vista, she got out of her car and "peed down upon her city." [. . . ] And only the English could have produced David Niven. He was at a fancy ball, standing at the bottom of a grand staircase, talking to a man he had just met. Two women appeared at the top of the stairs and began to descend. Niven said to the man, "That's the ugliest woman I have ever seen." The man stiffened. "That's my wife." "I meant the other one." "That's my daughter." Niven looked the man calmly in the eye and said, "I didn't say it." ^ Barbara Bush (1925— ) wife of President George Bush [1989—1993] On a foreign tour with her husband, then vice president, Mrs. Bush sat next to Japan's Emperor Hirohito at a luncheon in Tokyo. Commenting on her surroundings, she praised the architecture and decor of the Imperial Palace but wondered at its seeming newness. Was the former palace so old it crumbled? 'No,' replied the emperor stiffly, 'I'm afraid that you bombed it.' --_Bartlett's Book of Anecdotes_ edited by Clifton Fadiman and André Bernard [2000 ed.] ^ ^ George V (1865—1936), king of the United Kingdom [1910—1936]. George V was an enthusiastic stamp collector. A private secretary once remarked to him, "I see in The Times today that some damn fool is given fourteen hundred pounds for a single stamp at a private sale." "I am that damn fool," said the king. --_Bartlett's Book of Anecdotes_ edited by Clifton Fadiman and André Bernard [2000 ed.] ^ Franz Joseph (1830—1916), emperor of Austria [1848—1916]. The emperor was basically a simple man. On one occasion he and two companions were out hunting near Bad Ischl in Austria, dressed in hunting clothes. A passing peasant stopped his cart to offer them a lift. As they were some way from the lodge, they accepted and soon fell into conversation with their benefactor. The peasant asked one his passengers who he was. 'The king of Saxony,' was the supercilious reply. The peasant nodded and asked the next man the same question. 'The king of Bavaria,' said the second passenger. 'And you?' said the peasant, indicating Francis Joseph, 'I suppose you are the emperor of Austria?' --_Bartlett's Book of Anecdotes_ edited by Clifton Fadiman and André Bernard [2000 ed.] ^ ^^ John Pierpont Morgan, Sr. (1837—1913) American banker, financier, and benefactor of the arts. Morgan's nose was disfigured by a skin disease that made it swollen and fiery. People, while pretending politely not to notice anything extraordinary, were nonetheless mesmerized by it. There is the story of the nervous hostess at the tea table, who inquired, "Do you take nose in your tea, Mr. Morgan?" ^^ There was a young lady called Harris, That nothing could ever embarrass; Till the bath-salts one day In the tub where she lay Turned out to be Plaster of Paris. --Ogden Nash (1902—1971) American writer of humorous poetry. ^^ kap writes to USENET about two embarrassing moments: I've never met a flasher and, no, I've never been a flasher on purpose. Not even flashy - staid, Brooks Brothers suits, until my mother ran out of money the big dope. Sorry, the mind wanders. My wife tried her hand, so to speak, at flashing, once. When the kids were young we were swimming at a model in the Poconos one summer and Margaret, having forgotten to pack a swimsuit, wore a halter top and shorts into the pool. Having great fun, she was bouncing up and down in the water when the halter top decided to detach itself. Fellow poolies were kind enough not to applaud. Some eight years later I, too, gave flashing a chance. My teenage kids had talked me into going down a huge water slide in Vernon Valley, N.J.. I fairly flew down that hill, sailing over the bumps on the slide. Reaching the bottom I got up off the mat and said, "Wow, that was something!" I can't recall how my son, 15 at the time, broke the news to me, but in a couple of moments I realized my bathing suit was below my ankles. I haven't been on a water slide since. kap ^^ Speaking of anatomy, I just took a shower and I smell very good indeed. The reason for that is that Margaret went to Macy's yesterday and bought me Obsession and all the free gifts that go with it. They didn't have the stuff she likes, but the clerk (who was obviously gay - not that there's anything wrong with that) says in the funny voice, "I'll just prance over (didn't say prance, but you get the idea,) and get some Obsession for women and see if it isn't adorable. So he pranced over to get it, came back, Margaret sampled a bit and she said "IT'S TOO FRUITY.") She didn't mean anything other than what she said - it just slipped out. The poor guy took it personally and pranced away. One of those both funny and feel-sorry-for stories. kap ^^ - Gene Rayburn (1917—1999) American actor and game-show host. . . .game shows became his turf, and his "Match Game" tenure survived one hilarious blooper. Interviewing a contestant and meaning to compliment her dimples, he looked at her face and said, "you have the most beautiful nipples I have ever seen." - ^^ Sir Michael Redgrave (1908—1985) British stage actor. During one play his scene called for him to be left onstage with one attendant as he prepared to commit suicide. His line was to be "Bring me a pint of port and a pistol." With the audience in a high state of tension, Redgrave called, "Bring me a pint of piss and a portal." Trying to help the situation, the young actor who played the attendant asked, "A pint of *piss,* my lord? "Aye," responded a furious Redgrave, "*and* a portal." _Bartlett's Book of Anecdotes_, edited by Clifton Fadiman and André Bernard [2000 ed.] ^^ In spite of the great incompetence factor, the embarrassed reaction itself shows not that you lack social adjustment but that you have it, in spades. You care what society thinks, and really that is what it wants most. If we look at who most often gets embarrassed, we see that it is sensitive people, people who are trying hard to succeed, who are prepared to mend their ways, who never forget the lesson learned -- and what more could society ask? On the whole, people who are never embarrassed (the "shameless") are the most antisocial of us, the least considerate and most uncaring. --Margaret Visser South-Aftican born Canadian professor, writer, and broadcaster. "Blush, Cringe, Fidget," from _The Way We Are_ ----- eructation [ih-ruhk-TAY-shuhn], noun: The act of belching; a belch. imbroglio [im-BROHL-yoh], noun: 1. A complicated and embarrassing state of things. 2. A confused or complicated disagreement or misunderstanding. 3. An intricate, complicated plot, as of a drama or work of fiction. 4. A confused mass; a tangle. mortify (verb) ['mor-ti-fI] To humiliate, embarrass to extremes, cause enormous shame. . . see "EMOTIONS & FEELINGS" for related links see "THE MIND" for related links Our heart is a treasury; if you spend all its wealth at once you are ruined. We find it as difficult to forgive a person for displaying his feeling in all its nakedness as we do to forgive a man for being penniless. --Honoré de Balzac (1799—1850) French journalist and writer. _Le Père Goriot_ [1835], tr. Marion Ayton Crawford Which of the powers, love or music, is able to lift man to the sublimest heights? It is a great question, but it seems to me that one might answer it thus: love cannot express the idea of music, while music may give an idea of love. But why separate them? They are the two wings of the soul. --Louis Hector Berlioz (1803—1869) French composer. _Memoires_ Emotion, whether of ridicule, anger, or sorrow, —whether raised at a puppet show, a funeral, or a battle,—is your grandest of levellers. The man who would be always superior should be always apathetic. --Edward Bulwer-Lytton (1803—1873) British novelist and politician. Gratitude is one of the least articulate of the emotions, especially when it is deep. --Felix Frankfurter (1882—1965) Austrian-born U.S. Supreme Court justice. helped to found the A.C.L.U.. That's my trade. Hatred. It takes you a long way further than any other emotion. --Joseph Goebbels (1897—1945) German Nazi leader & minister of propaganda. In Rosita Forbes _These Men I Knew_ [1940], remark to the author. The emotions aren't always immediately subject to reason, but they are always immediately subject to action. --William James (1842—1910) American philosopher. People don't ask for facts in making up their minds. They would rather have one good, soul-satisfying emotion than a dozen facts. --Robert Keith Leavitt (1895?—1967?) _Voyages and Discoveries_ [1939] The young man who has not wept is a savage, and the old man who will not laugh is a fool. --George Santayana (1863—1952) Spanish-born philosopher and critic. _Dialogues in Limbo_ [1925], ch. 3 But I wear my heart upon my sleeve, For doves to peck at: I am not what I am. --William Shakespeare (1564—1616) English dramatist. _Othello_ [1604—1605], I, i, 64 Women prefer emotions to reasoning. --Stendhal [Marie-Henri Beyle] (1783—1842) French writer. _Love_, p. 55, translated by Suzanne Sale [Published 1975]. There are only two emotions in a plane: boredom and terror. --Orson Welles (1915—1985) American motion-picture actor, director, producer, and writer. Interview in "The Times" [6 May 1985]. ----- effusive [ih-FYOO-siv], adjective: Excessively demonstrative; giving or involving extravagant or excessive emotional expression; gushing. Ex.: "His speeches are embarrassingly effusive; treacle drips from their pages: "I yield to none in my admiration for our teachers, doctors, nurses and police . .. Our public servants are the best in the world, and when given the leadership and investment they need, they achieve world-class standards." --Mary Ann Sieghart, "Blair lays bare his iron fist for change," "Times" (London) [1 June 2001] empathy (noun) ['emp-ê-thi] Understanding another by entering and sharing their emotions. paroxysm [PAIR-uhk-siz-uhm], noun: 1. (Medicine) A sudden attack, intensification, or recurrence of a disease. 2. Any sudden and violent emotion or action; an outburst; a fit. Ex.: "But when he's on target -- and more often than not he is -- he can send you into paroxysms of laughter." --William Triplett, "Drawing Laughter From a Well of Family Pain," "Washington Post" [13 June 2002] perfervid [puhr-FUR-vid], adjective: Ardent; impassioned; marked by exaggerated or overwrought emotion. stoic [STOH-ik] noun: 1. (Capitalized). A member of a school of philosophy founded by Zeno holding that one should be free from passion, unmoved by joy or grief, and should submit without complaint to unavoidable necessity. 2. One who is indifferent to or unaffected by pleasure or pain, joy or grief. stolid [STOL-id], adjective: Having or revealing little emotion or sensibility; not easily excited. Ex.: The inherent irrationality of markets was first demonstrated in the 17th century, when the normally stolid Dutch population was seized by a tulip craze that caused the people to pay insane prices for a single bulb. --Robert Reno, "Analysis: A market that rides on bubbles," _Newsday_ [7 August 2002] end page | EARS - ECONOMY (THE) | EDUCATION | EFFORT - ELEPHANTS | ELOQUENCE - EMOTION | EMOTIONS & FEELINGS | EMPIRE - ENERGY | ENGLAND - ENGLISH (THE) | ENGLISH (LANGUAGE) | ENLIGHTENMENT - ENVY | ENTERTAINMENT, HOBBIES, & LEISURE ACTIVITIES | EPITAPHS - EQUAL RIGHTS | ERROR - EVIDENCE | EVIL - EXECUTIONS | EXERCISE - EYES | | A | B | C | D | E | F | G | | Return Home | The Credits | The Cast | Act 1 | Act 2 | Act 3 | The End | The Reviews | Photos | |
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