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EFFORT --- EGOTISM
ELDERLY (THE) --- ELECTIONS --- ELEPHANTS

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EFFORT

see: "ENERGY"
see: "STRENGTH"
see: "TRYING"
see "SUCCESS" for other related links


Remember that children, marriages, and flower
gardens reflect the kind of care they get.
--H. Jackson Brown, Jr. (1940— )
American author.

If you are going through hell, keep going.
--Winston Churchill (1874—1965)
British Conservative statesman and
Prime Minister [1940—1945, 1951—1955].

For us, there is only the trying.
The rest is not our business.
--T.S. Eliot (1888—1965)
Anglo-American poet, critic, and dramatist.
_Four Quartets_ [1943] "East Coker"

Satisfaction lies in the effort, not in the
attainment. Full effort is full victory.
--Mohandas K. Gandhi (1869—1948)
Indian statesman and leader of the nationalistic
movement against British rule.
"Young India" [9 March 1922]

Do thou they best, and leave to God the rest.
--James Howell (1593—1666)
British writer.

[John Wooden] taught us that doing the best you are
capable of is victory enough.
--Kareem Abdul-Jabbar [Ferdinand Lewis Alcindor] (1947— )
American professional basketball player.
_Kareem_, "Saturday December 3" [1988]

Those who attain any excellence, commonly spend
life in one pursuit; for excellence is not often gained
upon easier terms.
--Samuel Johnson (1709—1784)
English poet, critic, and lexicographer.
_Lives of the English Poets_ [1781], "Pope"

We're going to turn this team around 360 degrees.
--Jason Kidd (1973— )
American professional basketball player.

The difference between a successful person and others
is not a lack of strength, not a lack of knowledge, but
rather a lack of will.
--Vince Lombardi (1913—1970)
American football player and coach of the
Green Bay Packers. He led the Packers to
five NFL championships including two Super
Bowl victories.

The world is divided into people who do things
and people who get the credit. Try, if you can,
to belong to the first class. There's far less
competition.
--Dwight Morrow (1873—1931)
American lawyer, banker, and diplomat.
Letter to his son, in Harold Nicolson _Dwight Morrow_ [1935].

-

The Declaration of Independence states unequivocally
that all men are created equal. Yet every day I
find reason to believe this to be untrue. I run in
a race and half the field beats me. I attend a
seminar and can't follow the reasoning of the
speaker. I read a book and I am unable to
understand what is evident to others. Daily I am
instructed in my deficiencies. I do something,
physical or mental, and realize how far I fall short
of what other people accomplish.

Despite the Declaration, we are apparently not born
equal. I cannot aspire to win the Boston Marathon.
I most certainly will not receive the Nobel Prize
for literature. I am surrounded by people who know
more, do more, and make more than I do. But, like
many others, I identify myself with my performance.
I become my marathon time. I become my latest book.
I become the last lecture I gave. . . .

But I am more than a body-mind complex. I am a soul
as well. I share with everyone on this planet one
power infinitely more important than talent:
willpower. In this power of the soul, all of us are
created equal. . . .

The will considers the question, Will you or won't
you have it so? And in that decision you can be the
equal of anyone else. "Effort is the measure of a
man," wrote [William] James. How well we know that.
I am never content with contentment. I am uneasy
when things go easy.

"Don't take things easy," said a great physician,
"take things hard." Doing one's absolute best
becomes the criterion.

--George Sheehan, M.D. (1918—1993)
_Personal Best_ [1989], "The Many Levels of Motivation"

-

[William] Shockley was famous for his homely but
shrewd examples. One day a student confessed to
being puzzled by the concept of amplification, which
was one of the prime functions of the transistor.
Shockley told him, 'If you take a bale of hay and
tie it to the tail of a mule and then strike a match
and set the bale of hay on fire, and if you then
compare the exergy expended shortly thereafter
by the mule with the energy expended by yourself
in the striking of the match, you will understand
the concept of amplification.'
--in Tom Wolfe (1931— )
American journalist and novelist,
_Hooking Up_ [2000]

-

If a task once begun
Never leave it till it's done.
Be the labor great or small
Do it well or not at all.
--anon.
"Always Finish"




EGOTISM

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see: "BRAGGING"
see: "SNOBS"
see "EMOTIONS & FEELINGS" for other related links


Egotists cannot converse, they talk to themselves only.
--[Amos] Bronson Alcott (1799—1888)
American philosopher, teacher, and reformer;
father of Louisa May Alcott.

Egotist, n. A person of low taste, more
interested in himself than in me.
--Ambrose Bierce (1842—1914)
American newspaperman, wit, and satirist.
_The Cynic's Word Book_ [1906]
(Retitled in 1911 as _The Devil's Dictionary_.)

Love measures our stature: the more we love, the
bigger we are. There is no smaller package in all
the world than that of a man all wrapped up in himself.
--William Sloane Coffin, Jr. (1924—2006)
American clergyman and peace activist.
_Credo_ [2004], "Faith, Hope, Love"

I grow intoxicated with my own eloquence.
--Benjamin Disraeli (1804—1881)
British Tory statesman, novelist, and
Prime Minister [1868, 1874—1880].

He was like a cock who thought the
sun had risen to hear him crow.
--George Eliot [Mary Ann Evans] (1819—1880)
English novelist.
_Adam Bebe_ [1859]

I now know all the people worth knowing in
America, and I find no intellect comparable
to my own.
--[Sarah] Margaret Fuller (1810—1850)
American critic, teacher, and woman of letters.
In Robert Chambers _The Book of Days_, p. 68.

When I want to know what France thinks, I ask myself.
--Charles de Gaulle (1890—1970)
French general and politician.
In "France: Down from Olympus"
_Time_ [17 December 1965].

What hypocrites we seem to be whenever we
talk of ourselves! Our words sound so humble,
while our hearts are so proud.
--Augustus William Hare (1792—1834)
British essayist.

We often boast that we are never bored; but yet
we are so conceited that we do not perceive how
often we bore others.
--Franηois de La Rochefoucauld (1613—1680)
French classical author.

Egotism is the anesthetic that
dulls the pain of stupidity.
--Frank Leahy (1908—1973)
Coached Notre Dame football team
to 4 national championships.
_Look_ (magazine) [10 January 1955].

My greatest strength is that I have no weaknesses.
--John McEnroe (1959— )
American tennis player.

My mother brought me up to be a genius, and she was
one of the most successful women I've ever known.
--Preston Sturges [Edmund Preston Biden] (1898—1959)
American motion picture director, screenwriter, and playwright.

I dote on myself, there is that lot
of me and all so luscious.
--Walt Whitman (1819—1892)
American poet.
"Song of Myself" st. 24

The more you speak of yourself, the more you are likely to lie.
--Johann Georg Zimmermann (1728—1795)
Swiss philosophical writer and physician.

-----

solipsism (noun) [sa-'lip-si-zκm]
The view that only the self can be known or
that the self is the only reality (egotism).




ELDERLY (THE)

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see "AGE" for related links


Our society must make it right and possible for old people
not to fear the young or be deserted by them, for the test
of a civilization is the way that it cares for its helpless
members.
--Pearl S. Buck (1892—1973)
American author noted for her novels of life in China;
winner of the 1938 Nobel Prize for Literature.
_My Several Worlds_ [1954]




Click picture to ZOOM
ELECTIONS

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see "POLITICS" for related links


These bickerings of opposite parties, and their mutual
reproaches, their declamations, their sing-song, their
triumphs and defiances, their dismals and prophecies,
are all delusion.
--John Adams (1735—1826)
First VP and second President of the United States.
Letter to Abigail Adams [16 July 1774].

Vote for the man who promises least;
he'll be the least disappointing.
--Bernard Baruch (1870—1965)
American financier.
In Meyer Berger _New York_ [1960].

An election is nothing more than the
advanced auction of stolen goods.
--Ambrose Bierce (1842—1914)
American newspaperman, wit, and satirist.

People never lie so much as after a hunt,
during a war, or before an election.
--Otto von Bismarck (1815—1898)
Prime Minister of the Kingdom of Prussia 1862—1890.
He unified Germany with a series of successful wars and
became the first Chancellor 1871—1890 of the German Empire.

-

In Texas, Kennedy's 46,000-vote margin was the closest statewide race there
since 1948, when Kennedy's running mate, Lyndon B. Johnson, won a Senate seat
by 87 votes (the origin of the nickname "Landslide Lyndon"). Morton's operatives,
aided by local Republicans, uncovered plenty of political chicanery. For instance:
In Fannin County, which had 4,895 registered voters, 6,138 votes were cast, three-
quarters of them for Kennedy. In one precinct of Angelia County, 86 people voted
and the final tally was 147 for Kennedy, 24 for Nixon.

On and on it went. The Republicans demanded a recount, claiming that it would
give them 100,000 votes and victory. John Connally, the state Democratic
chairman, said the Republicans were just "haggling for headlines" and predicted
that a recount would give Kennedy another 50,000 votes.

But there was no recount. The Texas Election Board, composed entirely of
Democrats, had already certified Kennedy as the winner.

In Chicago, where Kennedy won by more than 450,000 votes, local reporters
uncovered so many stories of electoral shenanigans--including voting by the
dead--that the Chicago Tribune concluded that "the election of November 8 was
characterized by such gross and palpable fraud as to justify the conclusion that
[Nixon] was deprived of victory."

--Peter Carlson, "Another Race To the Finish" _Washington Post_.

-

Don't get mad. Don't get even. Just
get elected, then get even.
--James Carville (1944— )
American political strategist.

When the day of election approaches, visit your
constituents far and wide. Treat liberally, and drink
freely, in order to rise in their estimation, though
you fall in your own. True, you may be called a
drunken dog by some of the clean-shirt and silk-
stocking gentry, but the real roughnecks will style
you a jovial fellow. Their votes are certain, and
frequently count double.
--David Crockett (1786—1836)
American folk hero who died at the Alamo.
_Exploits and Adventures in Texas_ [1836] pp.56-59

-

To Ensure Loyal Voters,
Gracie Allen's Buttons
Were the Sew-On Kind

by Cynthia Crossen
_The Wall Street Journal_
[27 October 2004]

Her platform was "redwood trimmed with 'nutty' pine." She welcomed foreign relations, "so long as they bring their own bedding and don't stay too long." And while she sympathized with the poor, she rightly noted that "even brokers vote, especially if it doesn't rain on election day and the Yanks are playing out of town."

She was Gracie Allen, and in 1940, she ran for president of the United States.

Ms. Allen's quixotic campaign began as a publicity stunt for the radio comedy show she performed with her husband, George Burns. Though the gag was scheduled to last only two weeks, Ms. Allen's candidacy took on a life of its own. Within a few months, she had a mascot (a kangaroo), a slogan ("It's in the bag."), a song (one line: "If the country's going Gracie, so can you.") and a 34-city whistle-stop tour that went from Los Angeles to Omaha, Neb., where her newly formed Surprise Party gathered for its first -- and last -- nominating convention.

Ms. Allen was not the only entertainer who dabbled in presidential politics. Eddie Cantor, the much-loved singer and actor, announced his candidacy on the radio in 1932. Will Rogers's name was floated in 1928 and 1932. Later, Pat Paulsen would throw his hat into the ring of the 1968, '72 and '76 elections. But Gracie Allen was the only one who, as she herself conceded, "forgot to take her hat off before she threw it in the ring."

[. . . ]

Ms. Allen's campaign was cartoonish and self-mocking, and she never made any attempt to get her name on a ballot. (In real life, neither she nor Mr. Burns publicly supported political candidates or causes.) She did, however, take some uncompromising stands on the issues of the day. She believed that Congress should work on a commission: "Whenever the country prospered, Congress would get 10% of the additional take." Also, farms should be larger "so asparagus can grow lying down."

As for the idea that a woman couldn't cope with the demands of the office, she declared, "If a woman isn't qualified to be president, why is it you never see anything but pants on scarecrows?" Also, she asked, didn't men have plenty of their own shortcomings? "When I think of the awkward way our presidents act when a French ambassador kisses them on both cheeks," she tsked, "I don't have to tell you any more, do I, brother?"

On the radio, and later on television, Gracie Allen's character was ditzy and obtuse. But in real life Ms. Allen was brainy and creative, and she executed several brilliant stunts. Earlier, she pretended to have painted 10 surrealist works of art (produced for the gag by someone else), with titles such as "Beyond the Before Yet Under the Vast Above, the World Is in Tears and Tomorrow Is Tuesday." She persuaded a New York gallery owner to display the art, and the exhibit subsequently traveled across the country. Later, Ms. Allen would become proficient playing "Concerto for Index Finger," which she eventually performed at Carnegie Hall.

In her presidential campaign, Ms. Allen knew her lack of experience meant an uphill battle. "Lincoln had certain advantages we don't have today," she grumbled. "For instance, he could go out and split a bunch of rails, but the railroads are using iron ones more and more." As for kissing babies, Ms. Allen discriminated on the basis of gender: "I won't kiss male babies until they're over 21," she explained. She also invented the sew-on campaign button to discourage her supporters from changing their minds.

Gracie Allen learned enough about politics in 1940 to write (with a ghostwriter) "How to Become President," a book of advice for future candidates. "Presidents are made, not born," she noted. "That's a good thing to remember. It's silly to think that presidents are born, because very few people are 35 years old at birth, and those who are won't admit it." In composing campaign letters, she counseled, "Don't start out, 'Dear Sir or Madam.' Be definite. People like to be one or the other." Another suggestion: "You should come from a good family, because while breeding isn't everything, it is said to be lots of fun." [. . . ]

-

"Fiasco in 1936 Survey Brought 'Science' To Election Polling"
by Cynthia Crossen
_The Wall Street Journal_ [2 October 2006]

President Alf Landon?

In the fall of 1936, the most influential poll in America, run by Literary Digest magazine, predicted that Mr. Landon, governor of Kansas, would trounce the Democratic incumbent, Franklin Roosevelt, with 57% of the popular vote. Literary Digest's poll was massive -- it sent out 10 million ballots that year -- and it had correctly forecast five previous presidential elections. There was widespread concern that the poll might create a bandwagon effect, giving Mr. Landon an even bigger victory.

The poll could hardly have been more wrong. Mr. Roosevelt won the election with more than 60% of the popular vote; Mr. Landon carried only two states, Maine and Vermont. The failure of the Literary Digest and other, smaller polls, "will undoubtedly revive agitation for their abolition or control," wrote the New York Times. Kenneth McKellar, a Democratic senator from Tennessee, called the Literary Digest poll "wicked," and promised to sponsor legislation to put polling under federal supervision.

Although by that time polling was not a young business, it was still operating in the statistical Dark Ages. First used around 1824, straw polls (named for the way farmers threw a fistful of straw in the air to see which way the wind was blowing) were often taken by traveling journalists or private citizens. They might ask everyone on a steamship or train how they intended to vote. [ . . . ]

Literary Digest, a general-interest weekly founded in 1890, began doing straw polls in 1916. It mailed ballots to its subscribers, gradually building up a list with publicly available names of people who owned telephones and cars. At its peak, the magazine sent ballots to 20 million people, and employed 400 clerks to tally the returns.

But magazine subscribers and owners of cars and telephones during the Great Depression tended to be more affluent than the average voter -- and more Republican. Indeed, in its 1936 pre-election report, the magazine reported that a skeptic had called its office to ask, "Has the Republican National Committee purchased the Literary Digest?" Commented the magazine, "Absurd and amusing."

In its postelection report, however, the editors acknowledged that the poll undersampled some groups of voters. And whose fault was that? "We wonder why we get better cooperation in what we have always regarded as a public service from Republicans than we do from Democrats. Do Republicans live nearer mailboxes? Do Democrats generally disapprove of straw polls?"

Even among the subset of people who received ballots, there was an element of self-selection. People with ample leisure were more likely to take the trouble to help Literary Digest. But plenty of the "lower strata," as the magazine called them, voted that year.

There was at least one man who relished the Literary Digest fiasco: George Gallup. Mr. Gallup, a market researcher and syndicated columnist, had begun experimenting with so-called scientific methods of polling, and in July 1936, he predicted Literary Digest would call the election erroneously. He himself projected a Democratic victory, although his margin turned out to be way off.

Mr. Gallup, of course, was one of the leaders of the pack that predicted Thomas Dewey would beat Harry Truman in 1948. Pollsters' methods and tools -- and confidence -- had improved so much in the dozen years since 1936 that they decided they didn't need to collect more data after October. In a postelection poll by the Survey Research Center of the University of Michigan, 14% of Truman voters said they made up their minds in the two weeks before the election, and 3% said they decided on Election Day.

"Everyone believes in public-opinion polls," joked the radio comic Goodman Ace. "Everybody from the man on the street all the way up to President Thomas E. Dewey."

By 1948, Literary Digest was long gone. It had already been facing financial problems when its poll flopped; it suspended publication in 1938 and later merged with Time magazine.

Its editor in 1936, Wilfred J. Funk, derided Mr. Gallup's methodology, saying mockingly that the Digest's poll had never been able to discover "how many rich men, poor men, G-men, racketeers and candlestick makers" voted in any given election. Twelve years later, a reporter asked Mr. Funk to comment on the Truman-Dewey polls.

"I do not want to seem to be malicious," Mr. Funk said, "but I can't help but get a good chuckle out of this. ... I wonder if the word science will continue to be used with this type of public-opinion poll."

-

You campaign in poetry. You
govern in prose.
--Mario Cuomo (1932— )
American lawyer and politician.In "New Republic" Washington, D.C. [8 April 1985].

^

There is a wonderful anecdote about the election of 1960:
the evening of the election, Johnson called up Kennedy
and said, 'I see that I'm winning Texas, you're losing Ohio,
and we're doing all right together in Pennsylvania.'
--Robert Dallek (1934— )
American historian.
In Brian Lamb _Booknotes: Stories From American History_ [2001].

^

I was told that people did not like negative ads.
So I didn't run any. I lost.
--Bob Dole (1923— )
Republican senator and majority leader
and unsuccesful candidate in the 1996
presidential election.
(On the Nightline television news program [10 November 1988];
describing his race for the Republican presidential nomination
against George H. W. Bush.)

An election is coming. Universal peace is declared,
and the foxes have a sincere interest in prolonging
the lives of the poultry.
--George Eliot [Mary Ann Evans] (1819—1880)
English novelist.
_Felix Holt_ [1866]

Our people are slow to learn the wisdom of sending
character instead of talent to Congress.
--Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803—1882)
American philosopher and poet.
_Journal_ [8 May 1844]

I am truly a candidate with both my feet on the
ground . . . And when on next November fifth, I
am elected chief executive of this fair land, amidst
thunderous cheering and shouting and throwing
babies out the window, I shall, my fellow citizens,
offer no such empty panaceas as a New Deal, or
an Old Deal, or even a Re-Deal. No my friends,
the reliable old False Shuffle was good enough
for my father and it's good enough for me.
--W. C. Fields [William Claude Dukenfield]
(1880—1946) American vaudeville star and film actor.
_Fields for President_ [1939]

Why should it be that two parties with few if any essential
differences are ready to speak of each other as if a cultural
or even a civil war were only a few speeches away? Obviously,
much of this fatuous rhetoric arises from the need to disagree
more and more about less and less, to maintain the mills of
fundraising in a churning condition, and to keep the dwindling
groups of genuine loyalists and activists in a state of excited
pseudo-commitment.
--Christopher Hitchens (1949— )
British journalist, author, and literary critic.
_Atlantic Monthly_ "Thinking Like an Apparatchik" [2004?].

Should things go wrong at any time, the people will
set them to rights by the peaceable exercise of their
elective rights.
--Thomas Jefferson (1743—1826)
American statesman and president [1801—1809].
John P. Foley (ed.) _The Jeffersonian Cyclopedia_ [1900], p. 842.

Our democracy is but a name. We vote? What does
that mean? It means that we choose between two
bodies of real, though not avowed, autocrats. We
choose between Tweeledum and Tweedledee.
--Helen Keller (1880—1968)
American author and educator who was blind and deaf.
1911 letter to an English suffragist, in Howard Zinn
_The Twentieth Century: A People's History_ [1984], ch. 2.

Don't buy a single vote more than necessary. I'll be
damned if I'm going to pay for a landslide.
--telegraphed message from JFK's father, read by JFK
at a Gridiron dinner in Washington [15 March 1958].
(Thought to be JFK's invention.) In J.F. Cutler
_Honey Fitz_ [1962].

In an American election, there are no losers, because
whether or not our candidates are successful, the next
morning we all wake up as Americans.
--John F. Kerry (1943— )
American politician.
(In his concession speech at Fanueil Hall in
Boston, Massachusetts [3 November 2004].)

I have nor permitted myself, gentlemen, to conclude
that I am the best man in the country; but I am
reminded in this connection of a story of an old
Dutch farmer, who remarked to a companion once that
it was not best to swap horses when crossing a stream.
--Abraham Lincoln (1809—1865)
American Republican statesman, President [1861-1865].
(Reply to National Union League [9 June 1864].

-

Under democracy, one party always devotes
its chief efforts to trying to prove that
the other is unfit to rule - and both
commonly succeed and are right.
--H.L. (Henry Louis) Mencken (1880—1956)
American journalist and literary critic.


If there had been any formidable body of cannibals in the
country he would have promised to provide them with free
missionaries fattened at the taxpayer's expense.
--H.L. (Henry Louis) Mencken (1880—1956)
American journalist and literary critic.
in "Baltimore Sun" [7 November 1948]
(Of Harry Truman's success in the 1948 presidential campaign)

-

In 1929 the wise, far-seeing electors of my native Hereford
sent me to Westminster and, two years later, the lousy
bastards kicked me out.
--Frank Owen

^^

When I, kap (your host - next time read the Home Page!)
campaigned for local office in the early 1990s I think the
speech that directly led to my election was the following.
Would-be politicians are encouraged to read, and marvel:

My very fellow Las Vegans: Today, here, in this historic library,
I am announcing my candidacy for City Councilman. Yes, there
are a lot of other people running for City Councilman, but I firmly
believe I am uniquely qualified for this, one of the premier offices
in this great city of ours, and I intend to explain why. First,
however, let me address a more urgent question, and that is the
future facing our children's children's children's children. And
their children. When their time comes, our time will have passed.
But they will look back and say, "What was that all about?" Someone
will have to answer. And that someone is why I am running. My
friends, today I say to you, I want to be that someone. We live in
a time of great challenge. All right, perhaps that is putting it
strongly. Perhaps it is old-fashioned to speak bluntly, without
vacillation or verbal varnish. So be it. Some have urged me, "Don't
be blunt." But if this election is about anything, it is about not
hiding one's light of conviction under a bushel of demurral. So to
speak. It is about standing up and saying, "Here I am." Well,
friends, here I am. I would not be truthful if I said to you that
our problems can be fixed overnight. But, my fellow Las Vegans,
today I say to you, if we do not start to fix them, they will fix
us. And a fine fix we will be in then. Often, as I have traveled
the breadth and depth and width of this great, great city, I have
been asked, "Who are you?" What do you want?" Today, I have an
answer. Today, I say to you, I want to be that person. They ask,
"Do you have it in you to lead this city?" The answer must be "I
think so." So, as I stand here in this room of the Rainbow Library,
this historic building where I was born, in the days when "illegal
aliens" meant little green men from outer space, let the word go
forth. And then let it come back. And take a load off, as we
Americans say. So that future generations will say, "They ran the
good race, fought the good fight. And they knew what time it was,
for they kept the watch wound." Thank you and God bless you.

{okay, I lied. I never did run for office nor did I write that speech.
It was forwarded to me without attribution and I took the liberty
of changing the city and landmark in order to pull the wool over
your eyes. If I were to venture a guess those words sound a
bit like Mike Royko, Tony Kornheiser, or perhaps, Christopher
Buckley. Who knows. But I consider it a great speech and
when I do run for office...}
--kap

^^

-

The more you read and observe about this
Politics thing, you got to admit that each
party is worse than the other.
--Will Rogers [William Penn Adair Rogers] (1879—1935)
American humorist and actor.


On account of us being a democracy and run by the
people, we are the only nation in the world that has
to keep a government four years, no matter what it
does.
--Will Rogers [William Penn Adair Rogers] (1879—1935)
American humorist and actor.

-

I will not accept if nominated, and
will not serve if elected.
--William Tecumseh Sherman (1820—1891)
American Union general.
Message to the Republican Convention [1884].

It doesn't matter who gets the most votes in an
election; it only matters who counts the votes.
--Joseph Vissarionovich Stalin (1879—1953),
Soviet Communist leader and head of the USSR from
the death of V. I. Lenin (1924) until his own death.

Someone asked me, as I came in, down on the street,
how I felt and I was reminded of a story that a fellow
townsman of ours used to tell--Abraham Lincoln. They
asked him how he felt once after an unsuccessful
election. He said he felt like a little boy who had
stubbed his toe in the dark. He said that he was
too old to cry, but it hurt too much to laugh.
--Adlai E. Stevenson (1900—1965)
American Democratic politician.
Commenting on his defeat in the
presidential election [5 November 1952].

Had America every attraction under heaven that nature
and social enjoyment can offer, this electioneering
madness would make me fly from it in disgust. It
engrosses every conversation, it irritates every temper,
it substitutes party spirit for personal esteem; and,
in fact, vitiates the whole system of society.
--Frances Trollope (1780—1863)
English author [mother of Anthony Trollope].
_Domestic Manners of the Americans_ [1832]

The people have spoken — the bastards!
--Dick Tuck,
After losing his campaign for the California state legislature.
In "Playboy" [1974].

As long as I count the votes what
are you going to do about it?
--Boss [William Marcy] Tweed (1823—1878)
American politician and Tammany leader.

If nominated, I will run — for the Mexican border.
If elected, I will fight extradition.
--Morris King (Mo) Udall (1922—1998)
American politician and professional
basketball player.
(After party liberals urged him to challenge then-President
Carter for the 1980 presidential nomination.)

-

If we mean to support the liberty and independence
which have cost us so much blood and treasure to
establish, we must drive far away the demon of
party spirit and local reproach.
--George Washington (1732—1799)
American general and commander-in-chief of the
colonial armies in the American Revolution [1775—1783]
and first president of the United States [1789—1797].

-

Heroes and philosophers, brave men and vile, have since
Rome and Athens tried to make this particular manner
of transfer of power work effectively; no people has
succeeded at it better, or over a longer period of time,
than the Americans. Yet as the transfer of power takes
place, there is nothing to be seen except an occasional
line outside a church or school, or a file of people
fidgeting in the rain, waiting to enter the booths. No
bands play on election day, no troops march, no guns
are readied, no conspirators gather in secret headquarters.
The noise and the blare, the bands and the screaming,
the pageantry and oratory of the long fall campaign,
fade on election day. All the planning is over, all
effort spent. Now the candidates must wait.
--Theodore H. White (1915—1986)
American journalist, historian, and novelist.
_The Making of the President, 1960_ [1961]
{winner of the 1962 Pulitzer Prize for general nonfiction.}

-

When I die I want to be buried in Chicago
so I can still be active in politics.
--anon.
(Referring to the voter registration of the dead.)

--

re: election of 2000

Can we count them with our nose?
Can we count them with our toes?
Should we count them with a band?
Should we count them all by hand?
If I do not like the count,
I will simply throw them out!
I will not let this vote count stand,
I do not like them, Al Gore I am!

Can we change these numbers here?
Can we change them, calm my fears?
What do you mean, Dubya has won?
This is not fair, this is not fun
Let's count them upside down this time
Let's count until the state is mine!
I will not let this vote count stand!
I do not like it, Al Gore I am!

I'm really ticked, I'm in a snit!
You have not heard the last of it!
I'll count the ballots one by one,
And hold each one up to the sun!
I'll count, recount, and count some more!
You'll grow to hate this little chore
But I will not, cannot let this vote count stand!
I do not like it, Al Gore I am!

I won't leave office, I'm stayin' here!
I've glued my desk chair to my rear!
Tipper, Hillary, and Bubba too,
All telling me that I should sue!
We find the Electoral College vile!
Recount the votes until I smile!
We do not want this vote to stand!
We do not like it, Al Gore I am!

How shall we count this ballot box?
Let's count it standing in our socks!
Shall we count this one in a tree?
And who shall count it, you or me?
We cannot, cannot count enough!
We must not stop, we must be tough!
I do not want this vote to stand!
I do not like it, Al Gore I am!

I've counted till my fingers bleed!
And still can't fulfill my counting need!
I'll count the tiles on the floor!
I'll count, and count, and count some more!
And I will not say that I am done!
Until the counting says I've won!
I will not let this vote count stand!
I do not like it, Al Gore I am!

What's that? What? What are you trying to say?
You think the current count should stay?
You do not like my counting scheme?
It makes you tense, gives you bad dreams?
Foolish people, you're wrong you'll see!
You're only care should be for me!
I will not let this vote count stand!
I do not like it, and Al Gore I am!

--unknown author

-----

psephology (noun) [se-'fah-lκ-gee]
The study of political campaigns and elections,
including voting trends that predict election
results. It could also be used to refer to the
conduct of elections and voting trends themselves.






ELEPHANTS

.
.

see "ANIMALS" for related links


He thought he saw an Elephant,
That practised on a fife:
He looked again, and found it was
A letter from his wife.
'At length I realise,' he said,
'The bitterness of Life.'
--Lewis Carroll [Charles Lutwidge Dodgson] (1832—1898)
English writer and logician.
_Sylvie and Bruno_ Chapter V.

Women are like elephants. They are interesting
to look at, but I wouldn't like to own one.
--W. C. Fields [William Claude Dukenfield]
(1880—1946) American vaudeville star and film actor.

When you have got an elephant by the hind leg
and he is trying to run away, it is best to let him
run.
--Abraham Lincoln (1809—1865)
American Republican statesman, President [1861—1865].

Last night I shot an elephant in my pajamas, and
how he got in my pajamas I'll never know.
--Morrie Ryskind (1895—1985)
American screenwriter.
_Animal Crackers_ [1930 screenplay],
spoken by Groucho [Julius Henry] Marx.

They couldn't hit an elephant at this distance.
(The next-to-last words of General John B. Sedgwick.)
--General John B. Sedgwick (1813—1864)
The most senior officer from either side to
be killed during the American Civil War.

-

Why don't elephants ride bicycles?
They don't have thumbs to ring the bells.


end page





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