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. . . DISHONESTY see: "DECEPTION" see: "IMMORALITY" If you attempt to beat a man down and to get his goods for less than a fair price, you are attempting to commit burglary, as much as though you broke into his shop to take the things without paying for them. There is cheating on both sides of the counter and generally less behind it than before it. --Henry Ward Beecher (1813—1887) American Congregational minister; [brother of Harriet Beecher Stowe, son of Lyman Beecher]. I have known a vast quantity of nonsense talked about bad men not looking you in the face. Don't trust that conventional idea. Dishonesty will stare honesty out of countenance, any day in the week, if there is anything to be got by it. --Charles Dickens (1812—1870) English novelist. ----- skulduggery, also skullduggery [skul-DUG-uh-ree], noun: Devious, dishonest, or unscrupulous behavior or activity.  . . see "UNHAPPINESS" for related links And nothing to look backward to with pride, And nothing to look forward to with hope. --Robert Frost (1874—1963) American poet. "The Death of the Hired Man" [1914] Oh, life is a glorious cycle of song, A medley of extemporanea; And love is a thing that can never go wrong; And I am Marie of Roumania. --Dorothy Parker (1893—1967) American critic and humorist. "Comment" [1937] . . see "COMMUNICATION" for related links Has there ever been a society which has died of dissent? Several have died of conformity in our lifetime. --Jacob Bronowski (1908—1974) Polish-born mathematician and humanist. Speech given 19 March 1953 at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, and published in Science and Human Values, "The Sense of Human Dignity," sct. 5, 1961. Whether history will judge this war to be different or not, we cannot say. But this we can say with certainty: a government and a society that silences those who dissent is one that has lost its way. This we can say: that what is essential in a free society is that there should be an atmosphere where those who wish to dissent and even to demonstrate can do so without fear of recrimination or vilification. --Henry Steele Commager (1902—1998) American historian. _Freedom and Order_ [1966] - Here in America we are descended in blood and in spirit from revolutionists and rebels - men and women who dare to dissent from accepted doctrine. As their heirs, may we never confuse honest dissent with disloyal subversion. --Dwight D. Eisenhower (1890—1969), American Army General, supreme Allied commander WWII, NATO commander, American President [1953—1961]. In a speech at the Columbia University Bicentennial dinner [31 May 1954]. and see: We must not confuse dissent with disloyaty. --Edward R. Murrow [Egbert Roscoe Murrow] (1908—1965) American broadcaster and journalist. Report on Sen. Joseph McCarthy, "See It Now" (television series), [7 March 1954]. - These murderous wild beasts of our otherwise blessed republic should be given a bottle of water and a pint of meal and shoved out into the ocean on a raft, when the wind is blowing seaward. --Speaker in California, 1919, on the best way to deal with dissenters; in Nelson Van Valen _Pacific Historical Review_ v. 12 [1953] p. 49. . . see: "SUSPICION" see "EMOTIONS & FEELINGS" for other related links Never trust a friend who deserts you [in] a pinch. --Æsop (c.620 B.C.-c.560 B.C.) (Thought to be a legendary figure.) _Æsop's Fables_ "The Two Fellows and the Bear," tr. Joseph Jacobs [1894] What loneliness is more lonely than distrust? --George Eliot [Mary Ann Evans] (1819—1880) English novelist. _Middlemarch_ [1871], Book 8, Chapter 44 Never trust the man who hath reason to suspect that you know he hath injured you. --Henry Fielding (1707—1754) English novelist and dramatist. It is better. . . to be sometimes cheated than not to trust. --Samuel Johnson (1709—1784) English poet, critic, and lexicographer. In "The Rambler" (English journal), #79, [18 December 1750]. Jealousy lives upon distrust, becomes madness, or ceases entirely when we pass from doubt to certainty. --François de La Rochefoucauld (1613—1680) French classical author. Distrust all men in whom the impulse to punish is powerful. --Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche (1844—1900) German classical scholar, philosopher, and critic of culture. _Thus Spake Zarathustra_ [1892], pt. II, ch. 29 ^ I had been keen to hear what people thought politically. Those whom I had met did not talk about the subject, didn't seem to want to talk about it. It seemed to me partly caution and partly a lack of interest, but strong opinions were just not stated. One storekeeper did admit to me that he had to do business with both sides and could not permit himself the luxury of an opinion. He was a graying man in a little gray store, a crossroads place where I stopped for a box of dog biscuits and a can of pipe tobacco. This man, this store, might have been anywhere in the nation, but actually it was back in Minnesota. The man had a kind of gray wistful twinkle in his eyes as though he remembered humor when it was not against the law, so that I dared go out on a limb. I said, 'It looks then as though the natural contentiousness of people had died. But I don't believe that. It'll just take another channel. Can you think, sir, of what that channel might be?' 'You mean where will they bust out?' 'Where do they bust out?' I was not wrong, the twinkle was there, the precious, humorous twinkle. 'Well, sir,' he said, 'we've got a murder now and then, or we can read about them. Then we've got the World Series. You can raise a wind any time over the Pirates or the Yankees, but I guess the best of all is we've got the Russians.' 'Feelings pretty strong there?' 'Oh, sure! Hardly a day goes by somebody doesn't take a belt at the Russians.' For some reason he was getting a little easier, even permitted himself a chuckle that could have turned to throat-clearing if he saw a bad reaction from me. I asked, 'Anybody know any Russians around here?' And now he went all out and laughed. 'Course not. That's why they're valuable. Nobody can find fault with you if you take out after the Russians.' 'Because we're not doing business with them?' He picked up a cheese knife from the counter and carefully ran his thumb along the edge and laid the knife down. 'Maybe that's it. By George, maybe that's it. We're not doing business.' 'You think then we might be using the Russians as an outlet for something else, for other things.' 'I didn't think that at all, sir, but I bet I'm going to. Why, I remember when people took everything out on Mr Roosevelt. Andy Larsen got red in the face about Roosevelt one time when his hens got the croup. Yes, sir,' he said with growing enthusiasm,'those Russians got quite a load to carry. Man has a fight with his wife, he belts the Russians.' 'Maybe everybody needs Russians. I'll bet even in Russia they need Russians. Maybe they call it Americans.' --John Ernst Steinbeck (1902—1968) American novelist. _Travels With Charley_ [1962] ^ The Terror isolated and stupefied the deputies just as it did ordinary citizens. On entering the Assembly each member, full of distrust, watched his words and actions, lest a crime be made out of them. And indeed everything mattered: where you sat, a gesture, a look, a murmur or a smile. --Antoine Claire Thibaudeau (1765—1854) French politician. (On the Terror of 1793—1794.) . . There can not a greater judgment befall a country than such a dreadful spirit of division as rends a government into two distinct people, and makes them greater strangers and more averse to one another than if they were actually two different nations. --Joseph Addison (1672—1719) English essayist, poet, and dramatist. _The Spectator_ [24 July 1711] We must all hang together, or assuredly we shall all hang seperately. --Benjamin Franklin (1706—1790) American politician, inventor, and scientist. (At the signing of the _Declaration of Independence_ [4 July 1776].) A house divided against itself cannot stand. --Abraham Lincoln (1809—1865) American Republican statesman, President [1861—1865]. . . see: "REJECTION" see: "LOVE & MARRIAGE (OR NOT)" for other related links A divorce is like an amputation; you survive, but there's less of you. --Margaret Atwood (1939— ) Canadian novelist and poet. In "Time" [1973]. Many a man owes his success to his first wife and his second wife to his success. --Jim Backus (1924-1970) or --Jim Backus (1913-1989) American actor [My wife's] counsel had advised her to abandon the request for rehabilitative alimony and to seek permanent alimony instead. "What do you mean, permanent alimony?" I asked. She rolled her eyes. "You pay me alimony until I die or get remarried," she explained in her most condescending tone. I stood for a moment, pondering silently. "All right," I said warily, "but I get to pick." That cost me an extra hundred bucks a month, but it was worth every penny. --Kevin G. Barkes (alt.quotations, Usenet newsgroup) _Untitled Memoirs_ You never realize how short a month is until you pay alimony. --John Barrymore (John Sidney Blythe) (1882—1942) Shakespearean actor. If the wife should say to her husband, "I no longer want you for my husband," she is to be thrown into the water with her hands and feet tied. On the other hand, if he should say, "I no longer want you for my wife," he is to pay her 80 grams of silver. --marriage contract [c. 1700 B.C.], in Jean Bottéro _Everyday Life in Ancient Mesopotamia_ [2001], p. 115 ^ Ilka Chase (1903—1978) American actress and playwright. A short while after her just-divorced husband, Louis Calhern, married Julia Hoyt, Miss Chase was going through some boxes and found a packet of visiting cards on which was engraved the name 'Mrs. Louis Calhern.' Thinking it a pity to let them go to waste, she wrapped them up and mailed them to her successor with a note: 'Dear Julia, I hope these reach you in time.' --_Bartlett's Book of Anecdotes_ edited by Clifton Fadiman and André Bernard [2000 ed.] ^ ^^ Admissible grounds varied from state to state. In South Carolina absolute divorce was not available at all, for any reason; divorce arrived in South Carolina only in 1948. In the other states, the common grounds were adultery, desertion, and cruelty; but there were all sorts of state idiosyncracies. Drunkenness, failure to provide, imprisonment, and impotence were grounds in some states. Leprosy was grounds for divorce in Hawaii; in Virginia a husband could divorce his wife if he discovered she had been a prostitute. Cruelty became the grounds of choice in the twentieth century; it overtook adultery in 1922, and in 1950 accounted for almost three-fifths of all divorces. Most states recognized cruelty as a valid reason for divorce - New York was a prominent exception. What accounts for this outbreak of marital cruelty? Nothing. It was, in fact, an outbreak of collusion. Most "cruelty" cases were uncontested. The plaintiff (usually the wife) filed for divorce. The husband made no defense. Divorce was granted, by default. Collusive divorce had become common in the late nineteenth century; in the twentieth century, it was absolutely pervasive. In legal theory, a collusive divorce was void. Husband and wife had no right to agree to split. In practice, collusion was the rule, not the exception; and the judges all knew it. Their (implicit) motto was: don't ask, don't tell. [ . . . ] In New York divorce was available, practically speaking, only for adultery. This was an extreme situation; but any and all attempts to amend the law ended in shipwreck in the legislature. The demand for divorce, however, was as strong in New York as it was elsewhere. One end-run around divorce was annulment. Annulment is a declaration that a marriage never was valid, because of some kind of fraud or other impediment; in most states, annulment was a rare beast - usually fewer than 4 percent of all dissolutions of marriage. But New York was an annulment Mecca. By 1950 there were ten counties in New York which granted more annulments than divorces; and for the state as a whole, there were two-thirds as many annulments as decrees of divorce. New York also developed a weird form of collusive adultery - one might even call it soft-core adultery. A man would check into a hotel, a woman (usually a blonde) would appear, together with a photographer; the photographer would take pictures of the couple, in pajamas or underwear or even naked; the woman would get her fifty-dollar fee; and lo and behold! here was evidence of adultery. The flavor of this charade is neatly captured in the title of a magazine article from 1934: "I Was the Unknown Blonde in 100 New York Divorces." Collusion was by far the most popular, and practical, detour around tough divorce laws. But the federal system opened another door: the migratory divorce. There had been a number of divorce "mills" in the nineteenth century: states that attracted birds of passage with easy divorce laws. The clergy and respectable people usually objected to this rather tawdry business; and most divorce mills - South Dakota was one - were soon closed down. The main survivor was Nevada, a barren expanse of sagebrush, an empty desert; a kind of moon landscape in the West, but with sovereignty. Nevada made a business out of divorce, as it would later make a business out of gambling, easy marriage, and other forms of pleasure (or vice); "going to Reno" almost became synonymous with "getting a divorce." Nevada was the most popular divorce mill; but some spouses tried more exotic places - the American Virgin Islands, for example, or even Mexico. These were never so popular as Nevada, because there was even more of a question as to whether divorces in those places were valid. --Lawrence M. Friedman (1930— ) _American Law in the 20th Century_ [2002] Ch. 14 "Family Law and Family Life" pp. 435-436 ^^ He taught me housekeeping; when I divorce I keep the house. (Of her fifth husband.) --Zsa Zsa Gabor [Sari Gabor] (1919— ) Hungarian-born film actress. In Ned Sherrin _Cutting Edge_ [1984]. Just another of our many disagreements. He wanted a no-fault divorce, whereas I would prefer to have the bastard crucified. --J.B. Handelsman American cartoonist. Woman to her lawyer. Cartoon caption, "New Yorker," [25 August 1997] There is a rhythm to the ending of a marriage just like the rhythm of a courtship—only backward. You try to start again but get into blaming over and over. Finally, you are both worn out, exhausted, hopeless. Then lawyers are called in to pick clean the corpses. The death has occurred much earlier. --Erica Jong (1942— ) American novelist. _How To Save Your Own Life_ [1977], "There Is A Rhythm To The Ending" Women will only leave a marriage if it's unbearable; whereas men will split if they get a better offer. --Andrea Newman (1938- ) British dramatist, in "Sunday Times" [23 May 1999]. However marriage is dissolved, it remains indissoluble. Real divorce, the divorce of heart and nerve and fibre, does not exist, since there is no divorce from memory. --Virgilia Peterson (1904—1966) author, lecturer, and broadcaster. _A Matter of Life and Death_ [1961] - Thanks for the memory Of candlelight and wine, Castles on the Rhine, The Parthenon and moments on the Hudson River Line. How lovely it was! Thanks for the memory Of rainy afternoons, Swingy Harlem tunes, And motor trips and burning lips and burning toast and prunes. How lovely it was! Many's the time that we feasted, And many's the time that we fasted. Oh well, it was swell while it lasted; We did have fun And no harm done. And thanks for the memory Of sunburns at the shore, Nights in Singapore. You might have been a headache but you never were a bore, So thank you so much. Awf'ly glad I met you, Cheerio and toodle-oo, And thank you so much! Thanks for the memory Of sentimental verse, Nothing in my purse, And chuckles when the preacher said "For better or for worse." How lovely it was! Thanks for the memory Of lingerie with lace, Pilsner by the case, And how I jumped the day you trumped my one and only ace. How lovely it was! We said good-bye with a highball, Then I got as high as a steeple. But we were intelligent people, No tears, no fuss, Hurray for us. So thanks for the memory, And strictly entre nous, Darling, how are you? And how are all the little dreams that never did come true? Awf'ly glad I met you, Cheerio and toodle-oo, And thank you so much! --Leo Robin (1900—1984) American songwriter. "Thanks For The Memory" [1937 song], music by Ralph Rainger. - There are many things children accept as 'grown-up things' over which they have no control and for which they have no responsibility—for instance, weddings, having babies, buying houses, and driving cars. Parents who are separating really need to help their children put divorce on that grown-up list, so that children do not see themselves as the cause of their parents' decision to live apart. --Fred Rogers (1928—2003) Host of "Mister Rogers' Neighborhood" [1968—2001]. _Mr. Rogers Talks with Parents_ ch. 10 [1983] I'm not upset about my divorce. I'm only upset I'm not a widow. --Roseanne [Roseanne Barr] (1952— ) American actress. Basically, he just wasn't willing to dress up like Louis XIV before we went to bed every night. I really demand that of a partner. --Carly Simon (1945— ) American singer and songwriter. (Why she divorced James Taylor.) ^ In Detroit, Mrs. Dorothy Van Dorn, suing for divorce, complained that her husband 1) put all their food in a freezer; 2) kept the freezer locked; 3) made her pay for any food she ate, and, 4) charger her the 3% Michigan sales tax. --_Time_ [10 December 1951] ^ ^^ Wilfred Hyde White, interviewed by Sheridan Morley -- 'Wilfred, how is it possible that the epitome of an English gentleman like you can live out here in Palm Springs?' 'There are two reasons,' replied Wilfred. First, I couldn't *stand* the sight of my third wife. Second, I refuse to be held to ransom by the English Inland Revenue.' And then, after a delicate pause, which lasted as long as an intake of breath: 'Do forgive me. That was an inconceivably caddish remark about the Inland Revenue.' _The Folio Book of Humorous Anecdotes_ Introduced by Edward Leeson [2005], "Actors and the Theatre" ^^ A Bolton [England] woman petitioning for a divorce was asked to give an example of her husband's behaviour. 'Last year Harry asked me if I had anything to discuss before the football season began, she said. _The Folio Book of Humorous Anecdotes_ Introduced by Edward Leeson [2005], "Crime and the Law" ^^ -- A woman goes to see a lawyer about a divorce. He asks, "Any grounds?" Woman, "Yeah, about 2 acres." Lawyer, "Do you have a grudge?" Woman, "No, we have a carport." Lawyer, "Does your husband beat you up?" Woman, "No, I get up before him." The lawyer now getting agitated, "Well, do you or don't you want a divorce?" Woman, "No, my husband wants it...he says he can't communicate with me!" ;void(0)) DOCTORS . . see "HEALTH" for related links Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died. --Erma Bombeck (1927—1996) American humorist. I have been accustomed for some time past, to apply leeches to the inflamed testicle, which practice has always been followed with most happy effects. --William Buchan (1729—1805) English doctor. _Domestic Medicine, or a Treatise on the Presentation and Cure of Diseases by Regimen and Simple Medicines_ [1797]. Many doctors, death accomplished. --Czech proverb The patient is not likely to recover who makes the doctor his heir. --Thomas Fuller (1654—1734) English writer and physician. A young doctor means a new graveyard. --German proverb No doctor can tell you anything your own bones don't know. And I can let the doctors in on something. I knew I'd really licked it [heroin addiction] one morning when I couldn't stand television anymore. When I was high and wanted to stay that way, I could watch TV by the hour and loved it. --Billie Holliday [Eleanora Fagan] (1915—1959) American jazz singer. _Lady Sings the Blues_ [1956], "God Bless the Child" Joy, temperance, and repose Slam the door on the doctor's nose --Henry Wadsworth Longfellow (1807—1882) American poet. My doctor gave me six months to live, but when I couldn't pay the bill, he gave me six months more. --Walter Matthau (1920—2000) American actor. The sun shines on their successes, and the earth hides their failures. --Michel Eyquem de Montaigne (1533—1592) French moralist and essayist. _Essays_ [1588] tr. Donald M. Frame [1958] "Of the Resemblance of Children to Fathers" Cured yesterday of my disease, I died last night of my physician. --Matthew Prior (1664—1721) English poet. _The Remedy Worse than the Disease_ [1727] - We have not lost faith, but we have transferred it from God to the medical profession. We have bestowed on doctors the role of the almighty. --George Bernard Shaw (1856—1950) Irish comic dramatist, literary critic, Socialist propagandist, and winner of the Nobel Prize for Literature in 1925 [he didn't accept it.] A doctor's reputation is made by the number of eminent men who die under his care. --George Bernard Shaw (1856—1950) Irish comic dramatist, literary critic, Socialist propagandist, and winner of the Nobel Prize for Literature in 1925 [he didn't accept it.] - Salt Lake City was healthy—an extremely healthy city. They declared that there was only one physician in the place and he was arrested every week regularly and held to answer under the vagrant act for having 'no visible means of support.' --Mark Twain [Samuel Langhorne Clemens] (1835—1910) American humorist, novelist, journalist, and river pilot. _Roughing It_ [1872] The physician can bury his mistakes, but the architect can only advise his client to plant vines. --Frank Lloyd Wright (1867—1959) American architect. _New York Times Magazine_ [4 October 1953] -- Asked about embarrassing moments, doctors responded: A man came into the ER and yelled, "My wife's going to have her baby in the cab!" I grabbed my stuff, rushed out to the cab, lifted the lady's dress and began to take off her underwear. Suddenly I noticed that there were several cabs, and I was in the wrong one. --Dr. Mark MacDonald, San Antonio, TX At the beginning of my shift I placed a stethoscope on an elderly and slightly deaf female patient's anterior chest wall. Big breaths," I instructed. Yes, they used to be," replied the patient. --Dr. Richard Byrnes, Seattle, Washington I was performing a complete physical, including the visual acuity test. I placed the patient twenty feet from the chart and began, "Cover your right eye with your hand." He read the 20/20 line perfectly. Now your left." Again, a flawless read. "Now both," I requested. There was silence. He couldn't even read the large E on the top line. I turned and discovered that he had done exactly what I had asked; he was standing there with both his eyes covered I was laughing too hard to finish the exam. --Dr. Matthew Theodropolous, Worcester, MA During a patient's two week follow-up appointment with his cardiologist, he informed me, his doctor, that he was having trouble with one of his medications. Which one?" I asked. "The patch. The nurse told me to put on a new one every six hours and now I'm running out of places to put it!" I had him quickly undress and discovered what I hoped I wouldn't see. Yes, the man had over fifty patches on his body! Now the instructions include removal of the old patch before applying a new one. --Dr. Rebecca St. Clair, Norfolk, VA While acquainting myself with a new elderly patient, I asked, "How long have you been bed-ridden?" After a look of complete confusion she answered, "Why, not for about twenty years — when my husband was alive." --Dr. Steven Swanson, Corvallis, OR -- A woman rushes to see her doctor, looking very much worried and all strung out. She rattles off, "Doctor, take a look at me. When I woke up this morning, I looked at myself in the mirror and saw my hair all wiry and frazzled up, my skin was all wrinkled and pasty, my eyes were blood-shot and bugging out, and I had this corpse-like look on my face! What's wrong with me, Doctor?" The doctor looks her over for a couple of minutes, then calmly says, "Well, I can tell you one thing, there ain't nothing wrong with your eyesight." --- Doctor!" whined the patient. "I keep seeing spots before my eyes." The physician scratched his head, "Why have you come to me? Have you seen an opthalmologist?" "No," replied the patient, "just spots." --- Doctor to patient: I have good news and bad news - the good news is that you are not a hypochondriac. --- A doctor examined a woman, took the husband aside, and said, "I don't like the looks of your wife at all." "Me neither doc." said the husband. "But she's a great cook and really good with the kids." ----- auscultation (noun) Listening to the heart, lungs, or the like for the purpose of medical diagnosis, usually with a stethoscope or other instrument. iatrogenic (adj.) [I-æ-trê-'jin-ik] Caused by a doctor, contracted in a medical facility (said of a disease or disorder). end page | DANCING - DAY | DEATH - PAGE 1 (A-G) | DEATH - PAGE 2 (H-Z) | DEBATE - DEEDS | DECEPTION | DEFEAT - DELAY | DEMOCRACY | DENIAL - DESIRE | DESPAIR - DICKENS (CHARLES) | DICTIONARY - DILIGENCE | DINNER - DISABILITY | DISAGREEMENT - DISGUISE | DISHONESTY - DOCTORS | DOGS | (ON) DOING GOOD - DREAMS | DRESS - DRUNKENNESS | DUELS - DUTY | | A | B | C | D | E | F | G | | Return Home | The Credits | The Cast | Act 1 | Act 2 | Act 3 | The End | The Reviews | Photos | |
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