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COMPETITION --- COMPLAINING
COMPLIMENTS

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COMPETITION

see: "CHALLENGE"
see: "DEFEAT"
see: "LOSING"
see: "RIVALRY"
see: "STRUGGLE"
see: "VICTORY"
see: "WINNING"
see: "CAPITALISM" for other related links
see: "SPORTS" for other related links


The only competition worthy a wise man is with himself.
--Washington Allston (1779—1843)
American poet and painter.
Quoted in _Chambers's Edinburgh Journal_ [17 February 1844].

-

Frank: Anything you can do, I can do better.
Annie: I can do any thing better than you.
F: No you can't.
A: Yes I can.
F: No you can't.
A: Yes I can.
F: No you can't.
A: Yes I can, yes I can. . . .

F: I can shoot a partridge with a single cartridge.
A: I can get a sparrow with a bow and arrow.
F: I can do most anything.
A: Can you bake a pie?
F: No.
A: Neither can I.

--Irving Berlin (1888—1989)
American songwriter.
"Anything You Can Do" Song from the 1946 play _Annie Get Your Gun_.

-

He may well win the race that runs by himself.
--Benjamin Franklin (1706—1790)
American politician, inventor, and scientist.
_Poor Richard's Almanack_ [1747]

There is nothing noble in being superior to some other
person. True nobility comes from being superior to your
previous self.
--Hindustani Proverb
In _A Conspectus of American Biography_,
p. 726 [1906], compiled by George Derby.

The world is divided into people who do things and
people who get the credit. Try, if you can, to belong
to the first class. There's far less competition.
--Dwight Morrow (1873—1931)
American lawyer, banker, and diplomat.
Quoted in Mary Margaret McBride _The Story of Dwight W. Morrow_ [1930].

Gentlemen, I think it is about time we 'pulled our fingers
out' . . . If we want to be more prosperous we've simply
got to get down to it and work for it. The rest of the world
does not owe us a living.
--Prince Philip, Duke of Edinburgh (b. 1921)
Consort of Queen Elizabeth II.
Speech in London [17 October 1961].

For when the Great Scorer comes
To write against your name,
He marks--not that you won or lost--
But how you played the game.
--Grantland Rice (1880—1954)
American sports writer.
_The Tumult and the Shouting_ [1954] "Alumnus Football"

Competition brings out the best in
products and the worst in people.
--David Sarnoff (1891—1971)
Russian-born American pioneer in the development
of both radio and television broadcasting.
Quoted in "Esquire" [1964].

The trouble with the rat race is that
even if you win, you're still a rat.
--Lily Tomlin (b. 1939)
American actress and comedian.
"Thoughts on the Business of Life" _Forbes_ [4 March 1991]

-

IN THE SWIM: Ruben Berg admits that he has slowed down since his
heart bypass surgery back in 1999. But the Minneapolis Star Tribune
reports that the 91-year-old Mr. Berg -- who uses a walker to get from
the locker room to the pool -- ranks as one of the nation's top swim
competitors in the 90-94 age class. Though cut from his high-school
team, Mr. Berg remained an avid swimmer and began competing in
1991. Since then he has racked up 253 medals but says the awards
are not as impressive as they sound. He told the Star Tribune: "At
my age, well, most of the competition is dead."
--News Item, WSJ [3 September 2004]

Let others cheer the winning man,
There's one I hold worth while;
'Tis he who does the best he can,
Then loses with a smile.
Beaten he is, but not to stay
Down with the rank and file;
That man will win some other day,
Who loses with a smile.
--anon.



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COMPLAINING

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see: "DISCONTENT"
see: "COMMUNICATION" for other related links

^

Lord Anglesey, beating his wife, she said, 'how much happier
is that wench (pointing to a housemaid) than I am!' He
immediately kicked the maid down stairs, and then said,
'Well! there is at least one grievance removed.'
--_The Folio Book of Humorous Anecdotes_
Introduced by Edward Leeson [2005], "Love and Marriage"

^

Those who do not complain are never pitied.
--Jane Austen (1775—1817)
English writer.
_Pride and Prejudice_, ch. XX [1813]

It is a general popular error to imagine the loudest complainers
for the public to be the most anxious for its welfare.
--Edmund Burke (1729—1797)
Irish-born Whig politician and man of letters.
"Observation on a Publication Entitled, 'The Present State of the Nation' "
in _The Works of the Right Honourable Edmund Burke_ [vol 1 of 3; 1792].

I never complained that my birthday was overlooked;
people were even surprised, with a touch of admiration,
by my discretion on this subject. But the reason for
my disinterestedness was even more discrete: I longed to
be forgotten in order to be able to complain to myself.
--Albert Camus (1913—1960)
French novelist, dramatist, and essayist who won
the 1957 Nobel Prize for Literature.
_The Fall_ [1956]

Any fool can criticize, condemn, and
complain — and most fools do.
--Dale Carnegie (1888—1955)
American writer and lecturer.
_How to Win Friends and Influence People_ [1936],
pt. 1 "Fundamental Techniques in Handling People"

Every man should bear his own grievances rather
than detract from the comforts of another.
--Marcus Tullius Cicero (106—43 B.C.)
Roman orator and statesman.
_De officiis_ (On Duties) [44 B.C.]

'Repining is of no use, Ma'am,' said Ralph. 'Of all
fruitless errands, sending a tear to look after a day
that is gone, is the most fruitless.'
--Charles Dickens (1812—1870)
English novelist.
_Nicholas Nickleby_, ch. X [1839]

[Of attacts in Parliament:]
Never complain and never explain.
--Benjamin Disraeli (1804—1881)
British Tory statesman, novelist, and Prime Minister [1868, 1874—1880].
Quoted in John Morley _Life of William Ewart Gladstone_ [1903].

My dad taught me about the counterproductive
nature of whining about conditions over which
you have no control. 'Ninety percent of people
don't want to hear about your problems,' he
said, 'and the other ten percent are glad it's
you.'
--Larry Elder (b. 1952)
Libertarian radio talk show host.
_The Ten Things You Can't Say In America_ [2000]

Constant complaint is the poorest sort of
pay for all the comforts we enjoy.
--Benjamin Franklin (1706—1790)
American politician, inventor, and scientist.
Attributed in Maturin M. Ballou _Edge-Tools of Speech_, p. 76 [1886].

And isn't your life extremely flat
With nothing whatever to grumble at!
--W. S. Gilbert (1836—1911)
English writer of comic and satirical verse.
"Princess Ida, or Castle Adamant" (comic opera) [1884]

There is an unfortunate disposition in a man to attend much
more to the faults of his companions which offend him, than
to their perfections which please him.
--Fulke Greville (1554—1628)
English philosophical poet.
Quoted in Louis Klopsch _Many Thoughts of Many Minds_, p. 121 [1896].

You wallow in the guilt; you wallow in the pain
You wave it like a flag, you wear it like a crown
Got your mind in the gutter, bringin' everybody down
Complain about the present and blame it on the past
I'd like to find your inner child and kick its little ass.
Get over it.
--Don Henley (b. 1947)
American rock musician.
"Get Over It" from the Eagles' album _Hell Freezes Over_ [1994].

Don't tell your problems to people: eighty percent
don't care; and the other twenty percent are glad
you have them.
--attributed to Lou Holtz (b. 1937)
American football coach.

-

The gloomy and the resentful are always found among
those who have nothing to do or who do nothing.
--Samuel Johnson (1709—1784)
English poet, critic, and lexicographer.
1 Sept. 1759 issue of _The Idler_ (essays in the newspaper "The Universal Chronicle").


You are always complaining of melancholy, and I conclude from those
complaints that you are fond of it. No man talks of that which he is
desirous to conceal, and every man desires to conceal that of which he
is ashamed. .... Make it an invariable and obligatory law to yourself,
never to mention your own mental diseases; if you are never to speak
of them you will think of them but little, and if you think little of them,
they will molest you rarely. When you talk of them, it is plain that you
want either praise or pity; for praise there is no room, and pity will do
you no good.
--Samuel Johnson (1709—1784)
English poet, critic, and lexicographer.
Letter to James Boswell [8 April 1780].

-

One fifth of the people are against
everything all the time.
--Robert F. Kennedy (1925—1968)
American Democratic politician.
Attributed in Robert Andrews
_The Routledge Dictionary of Quotations_, p. 213 [1987].

The world is quickly bored by the recital
of misfortune, and willingly avoids the
sight of distress.
--W. Somerset Maugham (1874—1965)
English novelist, playwright, and short-story writer.
_The Moon and Sixpence_, ch. 16 [1919]

Man is always looking for someone to boast to; woman
is always looking for someone to complain to.
--H.L. (Henry Louis) Mencken (1880—1956)
American journalist and literary critic.
_The New York Evening Mail_ [15-16 Nov. 1917]

Fretting makes us important. Say you're an adult male
and you're skipping down the street whistling 'Last
Train to Clarksville'. People will call you a fool.
But lean over to the person next to you on a subway
and say, 'How can you smile while innocents are dying
in Tibet?' You'll acquire a reputation for great
seriousness and also more room to sit down.
--P.J. O'Rourke (b. 1947)
American political satirist.
_All The Trouble in the World_ [1994]

Things cannot always go your way. Learn to accept
in silence the minor aggravations, cultivate the gift
of taciturnity and consume your own smoke with
an extra draught of hard work, so that those about
you may not be annoyed with the dust and soot of
your complaints.
--Sir William Osler (1849—1919)
Canadian-born physician.
_Counsels and Ideals from the Writings of William Osler_, p. 102 [1905]

He distains all things above his reach,
and preferreth all countries before his
own.
--Sir Thomas Overbury (1581?—1613)
English poet and essayist.
_An Affectate Traveller_ [1614]

One stops being a child when one realizes that
telling one's trouble does not make it better.
--Cesare Pavese (1908—1950)
Italian novelist, poet, and translator.
_This Business of Living: Diaries 1935-50_ [1952]

I had no shoes and complained until I
beheld a man who had no feet.
--Sa'di [Muslih-uddin] (c. 1184—1291?)
Iranian poet.
_The Maxims of Sa'di_

We have no more right to put our discordant states
of mind into the lives of those around us and rob
them of their sunshine and brightness than we have
to enter their houses and steal their silverware.
--Julia Seton (?—1975)
Quoted in "Forbes" [1965].

-

The lady doth protest too much, methinks.
--William Shakespeare (1564—1616)
English dramatist.
_Hamlet_, II, iii [1601]


Wise men ne'er sit and wail their loss
But cheerly seek how to redress their harms.
--William Shakespeare (1564—1616)
English dramatist.
_King Henry VI_, V, iv [1592]

-

Remember that in all miseries lamenting
becomes fools, and action, wise folk.
--Sir Philip Sidney (1554—1586)
English soldier, poet, and courtier.
Quoted in Jane Porter (ed.) _Aphorisms of Sir Philip Sidney_ [1807].

-

This day let us not be told
That you are sick, and I grown old;
Nor think on our approaching ills,
And talk of spectacles and pills.
--Jonathan Swift (1667—1745)
Anglo-Irish poet and satirist.
"Stella's Birthday March 13, 1726"


I must complain the cards are ill-
shuffled till I have a good hand.
--Jonathan Swift (1667—1745)
Anglo-Irish poet and satirist.
_Thoughts on Various Subjects_ [1727 ed.]

-

Men will lie on their backs, talking about the fall
of man, and never make an effort to get up.
--Henry David Thoreau (1817—1862)
American essayist, poet, and practical philosopher.
_Life Without Principle_ [1863]

The world is sad enough without your woe.
--Ella Wheeler Wilcox (1850—1919)
American author and poet.
"Speech" in _Poems of Power_ [1901]

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bemoan [bi-MOHN], verb:
To moan about or weep for.

grouse (adj.) ['graws]
(noun) A bird of the family Tetraonidae, such as
the red grouse or ruffed grouse.
(verb) To grumble a complaint.
(Adjective-colloquial in Australian and New Zealand)
Excellent, great, bonzer.

kvetch [KVECH], adjective:
1. To complain habitually.
2. A complaint.
3. A habitual complainer.

mardy (adj.) ['mahr-dee]
(Dialectal, slang) Spoilt, sulky, whinging (['win-jing]-that's
"whining" to North Americans). In the northern counties
and Midlands of Great Britain, and in Australia and New
Zealand, it is also used to refer to someone who's easily
scared or upset.

natter (verb) ['nah-tκ (UK), 'nζ-dκr (US)]
1. To nag, grumble, complain (mostly Scotland
and Northern England);
2. To chatter mindlessly.

querulous [KWER-uh-luhs]. adjective:
1. Apt to find fault; habitually complaining.
2. Expressing complaint; fretful; whining.




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COMPLIMENTS

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see: "APPRECIATION"
see: "FLATTERY"
see: "KINDNESS" for other related links


If you are flattering a woman, it pays to be a little more subtle.
You don't have to bother with men, they believe any compliment
automatically.
--Alan Ayckbourn (b. 1939)
English dramatist.
_Round and Round the Garden_ [1975]

I know not why we should delay our tokens of respect to those who deserve
them, until the heart that our sympathy could have gladdened has ceased to
beat. As men cannot read the epitaphs inscribed upon the marble that covers
them, so the tombs that we erect to virtue often only prove our repentance
that we neglected it when with us.
--Edward Bulwer-Lytton (1803—1873)
British novelist, playwright, and politician.
Quoted in Craufurd Tait Ramage
_Great Thoughts from Latin Authors_, p. 178 [3rd ed. 1884].

Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile,
a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the
smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to
turn a life around.
--Leo [Felice Leonardo] Buscaglia (1925—1998)
American professor and author of inspirational books.
_Born For Love: Reflections on Loving_ [1992]

The happiness of life is made up of minute fractions — the
little soon forgotten charities of a kiss or smile, a kind look,
a heartfelt compliment, and the countless other infinitessimals
of pleasurable thought and genial feeling.
--Samuel Taylor Coleridge (1772—1834)
English poet, critic, and philosopher.
_The Friend_ [1828]

It's pleasant to hear these nice words while I'm still
alive. I'd rather have the taffy than the epitaphy.
--Chauncey Depew (1834—1928)
American orator, politician, and railroad president.
Quoted in Herbert Victor Prochnow _The Public Speaker's Treasure Chest_ [1977 ed.].

We can often better help another by fanning a
glimmer of goodness than by censuring his faults.
--attributed to Edmund Gibson (1669—1748)
English theologian and jurist.

He who sports compliments, unless he takes good aim,
may miss his mark, and be wounded by the recoil of
his own weapon.
--Thomas C. Haliburton (1796—1865)
Canadian politician, judge, and writer who was best known
as the creator of the literary character, Sam Slick.
Attributed in Maturin M. Ballou _Edge-Tools of Speech_, p. 76 [1886].

For fear of what it might do to me, you never paid a
compliment, and when other people did, you beat it
away from me with a stick. 'He certainly is looking
nice and grown up.' He'd look a lot nicer if he did
something about his skin. 'That's wonderful that he
got that job.' Yeah, well, we'll see how long it lasts.
You trained me so well, I now perform this service
for myself. I deflect every kind word directed to
me, and my denials are much more extravagant than
the praise. 'Good speech.' Oh, it was way too long,
I didn't know what I was talking about, I was just
blathering on and on, I was glad when it was over.
I do this under the impression that it is humility,
a becoming quality in a person. Actually, I am
starved for a good word, but after the long drought
of my youth, no word is quite good enough. 'Good'
isn't enough. Under this thin veneer of modesty
lies a monster of greed. I drive away faint praise,
beating my little chest, waiting to be named Sun-
God, King of America, Idol of Millions, Bringer
of Fire, The Great Haji, Thun-Dar the Boy Giant.
I don't want to say, 'Thanks, glad you liked it.' I
want to say, 'Rise, my people. Remove your faces
from the carpet, stand, look me in the face.'
--Garrison Keillor (b. 1942)
American writer and radio host.
_Lake Wobegon Days_ [1985]

Never praise a sister to a sister, in the hope of
your compliments reaching the proper ears.
--Rudyard Kipling (1865—1936)
English writer and poet.
_Plain Tales From The Hills_ [1888], "False Dawn"

If a civil word or two will render a man happy,
he must be a wretch indeed who will not give
them to him.
--Louis XIV (1638—1715)
King of France (1643—1715)
Quoted in William Seward _Anecdotes of
Distinguished Persons_ [vol. IV, 5th ed., 1804].

^^

Amedeo Modigliani (1884—1920) Italian painter and sculptor:

Modigliani's admiration of Utrillo was reciprocated. On the
occasion of their first meeting, they began by paying each
other extravagant compliments. 'You are the world's
greatest painter,' said one.

'No, *you* are the world's greatest painter,'
said the other.

'I forbid you to contradict me.'

'I forbid you to forbid me.'

The argument became heated. 'If you say that again,
I'll hit you.'

'You are the greatest—' and they fell to blows.

Later, they made up over several bottles of wine at
a nearby bistro. As they went out into the street, one
said, 'You are the world's greatest painter.'

'No, you are.'

And so the fight broke out again, until both combatants
were down in the gutter, where they went to sleep. In
the early dawn they woke up to discover that they had
been robbed.

_Bartlett's Book of Anecdotes_
edited by Clifton Fadiman and Andrι Bernard [2000]

^^

Let us believe neither half of the good people
tell us of ourselves, nor half the evil they say
of others.
--Jean-Antoine Petit-Senn (1792—1870)
French-Swiss lyric poet.
Quoted in Julia B. Hoitt
_Excellent Quotations For Home and School_, p. 149 [1890].

-

Marie de Rabutin-Chantal, Marquise de Sιvignι (1626—1696)
French writer whose letters constitute one of the
most celebrated collections of epistolary writing.

In the fall of 1676, she pays Franηoise (her daughter)
the ultimate compliment: "I have never seen such a
brilliant letter as your last. I nearly sent it back to
you to give you the pleasure of reading it."

--Quoted in Thomas Mallon _Yours Ever: People and Their Letters_, p. 20 [2009].

-

That's as well said as if I had said
it myself.
--Jonathan Swift (1667—1745)
Anglo-Irish poet and satirist.
_Polite Conversation_ [1738]

Never lose a chance of saying a kind word. As Collingwood never
saw a vacant place in his estate but he took an acorn out of his
pocket and popped it in; so deal with your compliments through
life. An acorn costs nothing, but it may sprout into a prodigious
bit of timber.
--William Makepeace Thackeray (1811—1863)
English novelist.
_Vanity Fair_, ch. XIX "Miss Crawley At Nurse" [1847—1848]

I've noticed that when a fellow dies, no matter what he's been
A saintly chap or one whose life's been deeply steeped in sin,
His friends forget the bitter words they spoke but yesterday.
And try to find a multitude of pretty things to say.
I fancy when I go to rest some-one will bring to light
Some kindly word or goodly act long buried out of sight;
But if it's all the same to you, just give to me, instead,
The bouquets while I'm living and the knocking when I'm dead.
--Louis Edwin Thayer (1878—1956)
"Of Post-Mortem Praises," st. 1 & 2

-

If husbands could realize what large returns of profit may be gotten
out of a wife by a small word of praise paid over the counter when
the market is just right, they would bring matters around the way
they wish them much oftener than they usually do. Arguments are
unsafe with wives, because they examine them; but they do not
examine compliments. One can pass upon a wife a compliment
that is three-fourths base metal; she will not even bite it to see if
it is good; all she notices is the size of it, not the quality.
--Mark Twain [Samuel Langhorne Clemens] (1835—1910)
American humorist, novelist, journalist, and river pilot.
_Hellfire Hotchkiss_ [1897]


The compliment that helps us on our way is not the one that
is shut up in the mind, but the one that is spoken out.
--Mark Twain [Samuel Langhorne Clemens] (1835—1910)
American humorist, novelist, journalist, and river pilot.
Quoted in Albert Bigelow Paine _Mark Twain: A Biography_ [vol. 2, 1912].


There is nothing you can say in answer to
a compliment. I have been complimented
myself a great many times, and they always
embarrass me — I always feel that they have
not said enough.
--Mark Twain [Samuel Langhorne Clemens] (1835—1910)
American humorist, novelist, journalist, and river pilot.
_Speeches_ [1923] "Fulton Day, Jamestown"

-

Irony is an insult conveyed in the form of a compliment.
--Edwin Percy Whipple (1819—1886)
American essayist and critic.
"Wit and Humor" Lecture to the Boston Mercantile
Library Association [December 1845].

-----

flummery [FLUM-uh-ree], noun:
1. A name given to various sweet dishes made with milk,
eggs, flour, etc.
2. Empty compliment; unsubstantial talk or writing; mumbo
jumbo; nonsense.

treacle (noun) ['tree-kκl]
(1) Syrup, especially from the first pressing of sugar cane
but also the molasses left over after the sugar crystals are
removed;
(2) Sugar-coating, cloying sentiment, sweetness of speech,
especially insincere compliments.


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