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. . . COMPANIONSHIP see: "FRIENDS / FRIENDSHIP" Constant companionship is not enjoyable, any more than constant eating. We sit too long at the table of friendship, when we outsit our appetites for each other's thoughts. --Christian Nestell Bovee (18201904) American writer. _Intuitions and Summaries of Thought_, vol. 1, p. 109 [2 vols. 1862] Never have a companion who casts you in the shade. --Baltasar Graciαn (16011658) Spanish Jesuit philosopher. _The Art of Worldly Wisdom_ [1647] Our companions please us less from the charms we find in their conversation than from those they find in ours. --Fulke Greville (15541628) English philosophical poet. _Maxims, Characters and Reflections, Critical, Satyrical, and Moral_, XCVIII [2nd ed., 1757] We got sunlight on the sand, We got moonlight on the sea, We got mangos and bananas You can pick right off a tree, We got volleyball and Ping-Pong And a lot of dandy games! What ain't we got? We ain't got dames! --Oscar Hammerstein II (18951960) American songwriter. "There is Nothing Like a Dame" [1949 song], in the musical _South Pacific_. No man is much pleased with a companion who does not increase, in some respect, his fondness of himself. --Samuel Johnson (17091784) English poet, critic, and lexicographer. "The Rambler", #104 [16 March 1751] Ultimately the bond of all companionship, whether in marriage or in friendship, is conversation. --Oscar Wilde (18541900) Anglo-Irish dramatist and poet. _De Profundis_ [1905]  ;void(0)) COMPANY (HAVING) . . see: "CONVERSATION" see: "GUESTS" see: "HOSPITALITY" see: "PARTIES" see: "WELCOME" see: "HOME & FAMILY" for other related links see: "FOOD & DRINK" for other related links see: "FRIENDSHIP" for related links Santa Claus has the right idea visit people only once a year. --attributed to Victor Borge [Berge Rosenbaum] (19092000) Danish-born American humorist, entertainer, and pianist. - Never seem wiser, nor more learned, than the people you are with. Wear your learning, like your watch, in a private pocket: and do not merely pull it out and strike it; merely to show that you have one. --Lord Chesterfield [Philip Dormer Stanhope] (16941773) Charles Strachey (ed.) _The Letters of the Earl of Chesterfield to His Son_ [1901] Not to perceive the little weaknesses and the idle but innocent affectations of the company may be allowable as a sort of polite duty. The company will be pleased with you if you do this, and most probably will not be reformed by you if you do not. --Lord Chesterfield [Philip Dormer Stanhope] (16941773) British writer and politician. Attributed in _Holiday Jottings by a London Solicitor ..._ [1881]. - It isn't so much what's on the table that matters, as what's on the chairs. --attributed to W. S. Gilbert (18361911) English writer of comic and satirical verse. To what happy accident is it that we owe so unexpected a visit? --Oliver Goldsmith (17281774) Anglo-Irish writer, poet, and dramatist. _The Vicar of Wakefield_, ch. XIX [1766 novel, completed 1762] Some people can stay longer in an hour than others can in a week. --attributed to William Dean Howells (18371920) American novelist and critic. It is not the quantity of the meat, but the cheerfulness of the guests, which makes the feast. --Edward Hyde, 1st Earl of Clarendon (16091674) English statesman and historian. "Of Conscience" [9 March 1670] - Whenever two people meet there are really six people present. There is each man as he sees himself, each man as the other sees him, and each man as he really is. --William James (18421910) American philosopher. Attributed in Sidney Greenberg _A Treasury of the Art of Living_ [1963]. & see: Every man has three characters that which he exhibits, that which he has, and that which he thinks he has. --Jean-Baptiste Alphonse Karr (18081890) French novelist and journalist. Attributed in Louis Klopsch _Many Thoughts of Many Minds_, p. 37 [1896]. - Not many sounds in life, and I include all urban and all rural sounds, exceed in interest a knock at the door. --Charles Lamb (17751834) English essayist. "Valentine's Day," _Essays of Elia_ [1823] I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it. --attributed to Groucho [Julius Henry] Marx (18951977) American film comedian. - No host can be hospitable enough to prevent a friend who has descended on him from becoming tiresome after three days. --Titus Maccius Plautus (254184 BC) Roman comic dramatist. "Miles Gloriosus" l. 741 & see: Fish and visitors smell in three days. --John Lyly (1554?1606) English prose stylist and playwright. _Euphues and His England_ [1580] - - Shut, shut the door, good John! fatigued, I said. Tie up the knocker! Say I'm sick, I'm dead. --Alexander Pope (16881744) English poet. "Epistle to Dr. Arbuthnot" [1734] True friendship's laws are by this rule express'd, Welcome the coming, speed the parting guest. --Alexander Pope (16881744) English poet. Pope's translation of the "Odyssey," bk. 15, l. 83 [1726] - Visits always give pleasure - if not the arrival, the departure. --Portuguese proverb Dinner at the Huntercombes' possessed only two dramatic features: the wine was a farce and the food a tragedy. --Anthony Powell (19052000) English novelist. _The Acceptance World_ [1955] His worth is warrant for his welcome. --William Shakespeare (15641616) English dramatist. _The Two Gentlemen of Verona_, II, iv [15901591] You must come again when you have less time. --attributed to Walter Sickert (18601942) German-born British artist. I love good credible acquaintance; I love to be the worst of the company. --Jonathan Swift (16671745) Anglo-Irish poet and satirist. _Journal to Stella_ [17 May 1711] - The art of hospitality is to make guests feel at home when you wish they were. --anon. ----- alacrity (noun) Promptness or cheerful and speedy readiness in response. (accepted the invitation with ~) ceilidh (noun) ['key-li] (Scotland and Ireland) A social gathering, especially one at which hosts and guests participate in traditional music, dancing, or storytelling. convivial [kuhn-VIV-ee-uhl], adjective: Relating to, occupied with, or fond of feasting, drinking, and good company; merry; festive. gauche (adj.) Socially awkward, lacking grace or tact in social situations. [Mid-18th century. From French, literally left-handed.] gregarious (adj.) [grκ-'gζr-ee-κs] Seeking out and enjoying the company of others; aggressively sociable. persiflage (noun) ['pκr-sκ-flahzh] Light, sociable chatter or a superficial, sociable manner of speaking. regale [rih-GAY(uh)L], transitive verb: 1. To entertain with something that delights. 2. To entertain sumptuously with fine food and drink. intransitive verb: To feast. as noun: 1. A sumptuous feast. 2. A choice food; a delicacy. 3. Refreshment. soiree [swah-RAY], noun: An evening party or social gathering. sojourn [SOH-juhrn; so-JURN], intransitive verb: To stay as a temporary resident; to dwell for a time. noun: A temporary stay.  (THE) COMPANY (YOU KEEP) . . see: "FRIENDS / FRIENDSHIP" When we live habitually with the wicked, we become necessarily either their victim or their disciple; when we associate, on the contrary, with virtuous men, we form ourselves in imitation of their virtues, or, at least, lose every day something of our faults. --Quoted in Maturin M. Ballou _Treasury of Thought_ [10th ed. 1884], and attributed to Agapet who could be either Agapetus I (?536) Pope from 535536, or Agapetus II (?955) Pope from 946955. Bad company is like a nail driven into a post, which, after the first or second blow, may be drawn out with little difficulty; but being once driven up to the head, the pincers cannot take hold to draw it out, but which can only be done by the destruction of the wood. --Augustine, St. of Hippo (354430) Christian theologian and bishop of Hippo in Roman Africa [396430]. Attributed in _Horζ Vacivae. A Thought-Book of the Wise Spirits_, arr. & ed. by James Elmes [1851]. An aching tooth is better out than in, To lose a rotten member is a gain. --Richard Baxter (16151691) English theologian, pastor, and author. "Hypocrisy" Quoted in Kate Louise Roberts _Hoyt's New Cyclopedia of Practical Quotations_, p. 267 [1922]. - He that walketh with wise men shall be wise: but a companion of fools shall be destroyed. --Bible "Proverbs" 13:20 Do not make friends with a hot-tempered man, do not associate with one easily angered, or you may learn his ways and get yourself ensnared. --Bible "Proverbs" 22:24-25 NIV Bad company corrupts good character. --Bible 1 "Corinthians" 15:33 - I may be a bad woman, but I'm awfully good company. --attributed to Fanny Brice [Fania Borach] (18911951) American comedian, singer, and entertainer. One evening in October, when I was one-third sober, An' taking home a "load" with manly pride, My poor feet began to stutter, so I lay down in the gutter, And a pig came up an' lay down by my side. Then we sang "It's all fair weather when good fellows get together," Till a lady passing by was heard to say: "Can tella man who boozes by the company he chooses," And the pig got up and slowly walked away. --Benjamin H Burt (18801950) _And the pig got up and slowly walked away_ [1933 song] - Birds of a feather will gather together. --Robert Burton (15771640) English scholar, cleric, and author. _The Anatomy of Melacholy_, pt. III, sec. I [1621] & note: Birdes of a feather will flocke togither. --John Minsheu (1559/601627) English linguist and lexicographer. _A Spanish Grammar_ [1599] - Tell me thy company and I will tell thee what thou art. --Miguel de Cervantes (15471616) Spanish novelist. _Don Quixote de la Mancha_, pt. II, bk. II, ch. XXIII [1615] People are, in general, what they are made, by education and company, from fifteen to five-and-twenty; consider well, therefore, the importance of your next eight or nine years; your whole depends upon them. --Lord Chesterfield [Philip Dormer Stanhope] (16941773) Letter to his son [1 April 1748]. Better be alone than in bad company. --John Clarke (15961658) Comp. _Proverbs: English and Latine_ [1639] Be cautious with whom you associate, and never give your company or your confidence to persons of whose good principles you are not certain. --William Hart Coleridge (17891849) British Bishop of Barbados and the Leeward Islands [18241842]. Quoted in "The Saturday Magazine" [19 December 1835]. - No company is far preferable to bad, because we are more apt to catch the vices of others than their virtues, as disease is far more contagious than health. --C.C. Colton (17801832) English clergyman and writer. _Lacon: or, Many Things in Few Words_, CCXLVII [1821 ed.] In all societies, it is advisable to associate if possible with the highest; not that the highest are always the best, but, because if disgusted there, we can at any time descend; but if we begin with the lowest, to ascend is impossible. --C.C. Colton (17801832) English clergyman and writer. _Lacon: or, Many Things in Few Words_, XVIII [1824 ed.] - Have no friends not equal to yourself. --Confucius (551479 B.C.) K'ung Ch'iu, Chinese philosopher. _The Confucian Analects_ One mangy sheep spoils a whole flock. --Danish proverb. We are far more liable to catch the vices than the virtues of our associates. --Denis Diderot (17131784) French writer and philosopher. Attributed in Julia B. Hoitt _Excellent Quotations For Home and School_, p. 38 [1890]. Men's minds are raised to the level of the women with whom they associate. --Alexandre Dumas (18021870) French novelist and dramatist. _My Memoirs_, vol. 3 [6 vols., 1908 ed.] I have now for more than a year, I believe, ceased to write in my journal, in which I formerly wrote almost daily. I see few intellectual persons, and even those to no purpose, and sometimes believe that I have no new thoughts, and that my life is quite at an end. But the magnet that lies in my drawer, for years, may believe it has no magnetism, and, on touching it with steel, it knows the old virtue; and, this morning, came by a man with knowledge and interests like mine, in his head, and suddenly I had thoughts again. --Ralph Waldo Emerson (18031882) American philosopher and poet. _Journal_ [April 1859] - We are as liable to be corrupted by our books as by our companions. --Henry Fielding (17071754) English novelist and dramatist. "A Fragment of a Comment on Lord Bolingbroke's Essays" [1755] & see: Be as careful of the books you read as of the company you keep, for your habits and character will be as much influenced by the former as the latter. --Edwin Paxton Hood (18201885) English Congregational minister and writer. _Self-Formation_ [4th ed., 1858] - - A wise man may look ridiculous in the company of fools. --Thomas Fuller (16541734) English writer and physician. Comp., _Gnomologia: Adages and Proverbs_ [1732] Make not a bosom friend of a melancholy soul: he'll be sure to aggravate thy adversity and lessen thy prosperity. He goes always heavily loaded; and thou must bear half. He is never in a good humor; and may easily get into a bad one, and fall out with thee. --Thomas Fuller (16541734) English writer and physician. Quoted in Tryon Edwards _A Dictionary of Thoughts_, p. 186 [1908]. - 'Tis thus that on the choice of friends Our good or evil name depends. --John Gay (16851732) English poet and dramatist. _Fables_, Pt. I "The Old Woman and Her Cats" [1727] Keep me away from the wisdom which does not cry, the philosophy which does not laugh and the greatness which does not bow before children. --Kahlil Gibran (18831931) Lebanese poet. Quoted in _The Wisdom of Gibran: Aphorisms and Maxims_ [Bantam Books, 1973]. [T]hree months ago I got into bad company. There are two times in a man's life when he does this when he's dead broke, and when he's rich. --O. Henry [William Sydney Porter] (18621910) American short-story writer. "The Man Higher Up" [1908] He that lies with the dogs, riseth with fleas. --George Herbert (15931633) English religious poet. _Comp. Outlandish Proverbs_ [1640] A man is known by the company he keeps. --"Hopkinsian Magazine" [February 1826] A man has to live with himself, and he should see to it that he always has good company. --Charles Evans Hughes (18621948) American professor of law, politician, and Chief Justice of the Supreme Court [19301941]. Address to New York Y.M.C.A.; quoted in _The Homiletic Review_ [November 1907]. Nothing is more dangerous than a friend without discretion; even a prudent enemy is preferable. --Jean de La Fontaine (16211695) French poet. _Fables_, bk VIII, no. 10 [16681679] Depend on no man, on no friend, but him who can depend on himself. --Johann Kaspar Lavater (17411801) Swiss writer, Protestant pastor, and founder of physiognomics. _Aphorisms on Man_ [1788] Stand with anybody that stands *right*. Stand will him while he is right and *part* with him when he goes wrong. --Abraham Lincoln (18091865) American Republican statesman, President [18611865]. Speech on the Kansas-Nebraska Act, Peoria, Illinois [16 October 1854]. There is no better indication of a man's character than the company which he keeps. --Niccolς Machiavelli (14691527) Florentine statesman and political philosopher. _The Discourses_, 3.34 [1517] If you live with a cripple, you will learn to limp. --Plutarch (A.D. 46?119?) Greek philosopher and biographer. _Moralia_ [c. 100], "The Education of Children" It is a consolation to the wretched to have companions in misery. --Publilius Syrus (8543 B.C.) Latin writer of mimes who was originally a slave. "Maxim" #995 It takes a great deal of bravery to stand up to our enemies, but just as much to stand up to our friends. --J.K. Rowling (b. 1966) Scottish novelist. _Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone_ [1997] Whosoever formeth an intimacy with the enemies of his friends, does so to injure the latter. O wise man! wash your hands of that friend who associates with your enemies. --Sa'di [Muslih-uddin] (c. 11841291?) Iranian poet. _The Gulistan, or Rose Garden_, ch. VIII "Rules for Conduct in Life" [1258] Tell me who admires you and loves you, and I will tell you who you are. --attributed to Charles Augustin Sainte-Beuve (18041869) French critic and literary historian. If you're dumb, surround yourself with smart people. If you're smart, surround yourself with smart people who disagree with you. --Aaron Sorkin (b. 1961) American screenwriter and producer. Advice given by Isaac Jaffe (Robert Guillaume) on "Sports Night" [TV show]. To succeed in the world, it is much more necessary to possess the penetration to discern who is a fool than to discover who is a clever man. --Charles Maurice de Talleyrand-Pιrigord (17541838) French statesman. Quoted in _Reminiscences of Prince Talleyrand; Edited from the Papers of the Late M. Colmache, Private Secretary to the Prince_ [2 vol. 1848]. Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great. --attributed to Mark Twain [Samuel Langhorne Clemens] (18351910) American humorist, novelist, journalist, and river pilot. Three things it is best to avoid: a strange dog, a flood, and a man who thinks he is wise. --Welsh Proverb - Associate yourself with men of good quality if you esteem your own reputation; for 'tis better to be alone than in bad company. --anon. Found in George Washington's hand-copied "Rules of Civility" [c. 1747]; collected in Charles Moore _George Washington's Rules of Civilty and Decent Behavior in Company and Conversation_ [1926].  COMPARISONS . . see: "CRITICISM" see: "DIFFERENT" You don't have to blow out the other fellow's light to let your own shine. --attributed to Bernard Baruch (18701965) American financier. A noble man compares and estimates himself by an idea which is higher than himself; and a mean man, by one lower than himself. The one produces aspiration; the other ambition. Ambition is the way in which a vulgar man aspires. --Henry Ward Beecher (18131887) American Congregational minister; brother of Harriet Beecher Stowe, son of Lyman Beecher. Quoted in Henry Ward Beecher and Edna Dean Proctor, _Life Thoughts: Gathered From the Extemporaneous Discourses of Henry Ward Beecher_ [1858]. Is it possible your pragmatical worship should not know that the comparisons made between wit and wit, courage and courage, beauty and beauty, birth and birth, are always odious and ill taken? --Miguel de Cervantes (15471616) Spanish novelist. _Don Quixote de la Mancha_, pt. II, ch. I [1615] I would rather be the author of one original thought than conqueror of a hundred battles. Yet moral excellence is so much superior to intellectual, that I ought to esteem one virtue more valuable than a hundred original thoughts. --William Benton Clulow (18021882) English clergyman. _Aphorisms and Reflections_ [1843] Enjoy your own life without comparing it with that of another. --Marie-Jean-Antoine-Nicolas de Caritat, marquis de Condorcet (17431794) French philosopher. Attributed in "The Guernsey Magazine" [November 1877]. We can all perceive the difference between ourselves and our inferiors, but when it comes to a question of the difference between us and our superiors we fail to appreciate merits of which we have no proper conceptions. --James Fenimore Cooper (17891851) American novelist. _The American Democrat_ [1838] The first man to compare the cheeks of a young woman to a rose was obviously a poet; the first to repeat it was possibly an idiot. --Salvadore Dali (19041989) Spanish painter. Preface to Pierre Cabanne _Dialogues with Marcel Duchamp_ [1968]. It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us, we were all going direct to Heaven, we were all going direct the other way--in short, the period was so far like the present period, that some of its noisiest authorities insisted on its being received, for good or for evil, in the superlative degree of comparison only. --Charles Dickens (18121870) English novelist. _A Tale of Two Cities_ [1859] Book the First: Recalled to Life, Ch. I, "The Period" (first lines) If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter, for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. --Max Ehrmann (18721945) American lawyer. _Desiderata_ [1927] There is nothing noble in being superior to some other person. True nobility comes from being superior to your previous self. --Hindustani Proverb In _A Conspectus of American Biography_, p. 726 [1906], compiled by George Derby. Instead of comparing our lot with that of those who are more fortunate than we are, we should compare it with the lot of the great majority of our fellow men. It then appears that we are among the privileged. --Helen Keller (18801968) American author and educator who was blind and deaf. _The Open Door_ [1957] Those who compare the age in which their lot has fallen with a golden age which exists only in imagination, may talk of degeneracy and decay; but no man who is correctly informed as to the past will be disposed to take a morose or desponding view of the present. --Thomas Babington Macaulay (18001859) English politician and historian. _History of England_, vol. I, ch. 1 [1849-61] Some are good, some are middling, the most are bad. [Latin: Sunt bona, sunt quaedam mediocria, sunt mala plura.] --Martial [Marcus Valerius Martialis] (38/41103) Roman poet. _Epigrams_, I, 17, 1 [86-98] If one only wished to be happy, this could be easily accomplished; but we wish to be happier than other people, and this is always difficult, for we believe others to be happier than they are. --Baron de Montesquieu (Charles Louis de Secondat) (16891755) French philosopher, jurist, and satirist. Attributed in Tryon Edwards _A Dictionary of Thoughts_ [1891]. Like a village fiddler after Paganini. --Harold Nicolson (18861968) English diplomat, politician, and writer. Comparing Clement Attlee with Winston Churchill, in diary [10 November 1947]. Winners compare their achievements with their goals, while losers compare their achievements with those of other people. --Nido Qubein (b. 1948) Lebanon-born American motivational speaker. Quoted in Lloyd H. Whitling _Reality 101: Facts That Can Change Your Life_, p. v [2002]. Football is to baseball as blackjack is to bridge. --Vin Scully (b. 1927) American sportscaster. "Los Angeles Times" [20 June 1976], as quoted in Paul Dickson _Baseball's Greatest Quotations: An Illustrated Treasury_ [2008]. As flies to wanton boys are we to the gods, They kill us for their sport. --William Shakespeare (15641616) English dramatist. _King Lear_, IV, i [16051606] Yet why repine? I have seen mansions on the verge of Wales that convert my farm-house into a Hampton Court, and where they speak of a glazed window as a great piece of magnificence. All things figure by comparison. --William Shenstone (17141763) English poet. "Egotisms. From my own Sensations." (essay) in _The Works in Verse and Prose, of William Shenstone, Esq._ [2 vol., 1764]. We do not judge men by what they are in themselves, but by what they are relatively to us. --Madame Swetchine [Sophie Soymanof] (17821857) Russian-born French writer and salon hostess. _The Writings of Madame Swetchine_ "Airelles", no. 25 (ed. Count de Falloux) [1869] That which makes people dissatisfied with their condition is the chimerical idea they form of the happiness of others. --James Thomson (17001748) Scottish poet. Attributed in _The Phrenological Journal and Life Illustrated_ [January 1873]. Poetry is to prose as dancing is to walking. --Paul Valιry (18711945) French poet. Attributed in "The Reporter" [1958]. ;void(0)) COMPASSION . . see: "COMFORT" see: "EMOTIONS & FEELINGS" for other related links see: "KINDNESS" for other related links Compassion will cure more sins than condemnation. --Henry Ward Beecher (18131887) American Congregational minister; brother of Harriet Beecher Stowe, son of Lyman Beecher. Quoted in Henry Ward Beecher and Edna Dean Proctor, _Life Thoughts: Gathered From the Extemporaneous Discourses of Henry Ward Beecher_ [1858]. - Can I see another's woe, And not be in sorrow too? Can I see another's grief, And not seek for kind relief? --William Blake (17571827) English poet. "On Another's Sorrow" He who would do good to another must do it in minute particulars. General good is the plea of the scoundrel, hypocrite, and flatterer. --William Blake (17571827) English poet. _Jerusalem_ [1815] - It is a general popular error to imagine the loudest complainers for the public to be the most anxious for its welfare. --Edmund Burke (17291797) Irish-born Whig politician and man of letters. "Observation on a Publication Entitled, 'The Present State of the Nation' " in _The Works of the Right Honourable Edmund Burke_ [vol 1 of 3; 1792]. You begin saving the world by saving one man at a time; all else is grandiose romanticism or politics. --Charles Bukowski (19201994) German-born American poet. "Too Sensitive" [1967] To grow old is to pass from passion to compassion. --Albert Camus (19131960) French novelist, dramatist, and essayist who won the 1957 Nobel Prize for Literature. Quoted in _Carnets, 1935-1942_ [pub. by Hamish Hamilton, 1963, 2nd ed.]. How far you go in life depends on your being tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving, and tolerant of the weak and the strong. Because someday in life you will have been all of these. --George Washington Carver (18641943) American agricultural chemist and agronomist. Attributed in "Black Enterprise", p. 256 [June 1983]. - The ills I sorrow at Not me alone Like an arrow, Pierce to the marrow, Through the fat, And past the bone. Your grief and mine Must intertwine Like sea and river, Be fused and mingle, Diverse yet single, Forever and forever. Let no man be so proud And confident, To think he is allowed A little tent Pitched in a meadow Of sun and shadow All his little own. Joy may be shy, unique, Friendly to a few, Sorrow never scorned to speak To any who Were false or true. Your every grief Like a blade Shining and unsheathed Must strike me down. Of bitter aloes wreathed, My sorrow must be laid On your head like a crown. --Countee Cullen (19031946) American poet. "Any Human to Another" from _The Medea and Some Poems_ [1935]. - If I can stop one Heart from breaking, I shall not live in vain If I can ease one Life the Aching Or cool one Pain. Or help one fainting Robin Unto his Nest again I shall not live in vain. --Emily Dickinson (18301886) American poet. "If I can stop one heart from breaking", written in 1864; in "Poems, First Series" [1890]. When a good man is hurt all who would be called good must suffer with him. --attributed to Euripides (485?406 B.C.) Greek dramatist. A tender-hearted and compassionate disposition, which inclines men to pity and feel the misfortunes of others, and which is, even for its own sake, incapable of involving any man in ruin and misery, is of all tempers of the mind the most amiable, and, though it seldom receives much honor, is worthy of the highest. --Henry Fielding (17071754) English novelist and dramatist. _An Enquiry into the Causes of the Late Increase of Robbers_, se. VIII [1751] O divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek To be consoled as to console; To be understood as to understand. --Francis, St, of Assisi (11811226) Italian monk. "Prayer of St. Francis," attributed Whenever I see an old lady slip and fall on a wet sidewalk, my first instinct is to laugh. But then I think, what if I was an ant, and she fell on me. Then it wouldn't seem quite so funny. --Jack Handey (b. 1949) American comedian and comedy writer. _Deep Thoughts_ [1993] The least pain in our little finger gives us more concern and uneasiness than the destruction of millions of our fellow-beings. --William Hazlitt (17781830) English essayist. "American LiteratureDr. Channing," in _The Edinburgh Review_ [October 1829]. This sad little lizard told me that he was a Brontosaurus on his mother's side. I did not laugh; people who boast of ancestry often have little else to sustain them. Humoring them costs nothing and adds to happiness in a world in which happiness is in short supply. --Robert Heinlein (19071988) American science-fiction writer. _The Notebooks of Lazarus Long_ [1978] Accept these grateful tears! for thee they flow, For thee, that ever felt another's woe! --Homer (c. 850? BC) Greek epic poet. _The Iliad_, bk. XIX [c. 800 B.C.] My dearest, she's dead! Let's get married at once! --Miss Adeline Horsey de Horsey (18241915) paramour of Lord Cardigan [referring to the death of his estranged wife, in July 1858; they married in September.] - We are the standard-bearers in the only really authentic revolution, the democratic revolution against tyrannies. Our strength is not to be measured by our military capacity alone, by our industry, or by our technology. We will be remembered, not for the power of our weapons, but for the power of our compassion, our dedication to human welfare. --Hubert H. Humphrey (19111978) 38th vice-president of the United States [19651969] and liberal senator [19491965] & [19711978]. _The Cause is Mankind_ [1964] It was once said that the moral test of government is how that government treats those who are in the dawn of life, the children; those who are in the twilight of life, the elderly; and those who are in the shadows of life, the sick, the needy, and the handicapped. --Hubert H. Humphrey (19111978) 38th vice-president of the United States [19651969] and liberal senator [19491965] & [19711978]. Speech at dedication of Hubert H. Humphrey Building, Washington, D.C. [1 November 1977]. - It's odd that you can get so anesthetized by your own pain or your own problem that you don't quite fully share the hell of someone close to you. --Claudia "Lady Bird" Johnson (19122007) First Lady of the U.S. [19631969]. _A White House Diary_ [1970] "February 8 1965" - There is much noise made about [sympathy for the distress of others], but it is greatly exaggerated. No, Sir, we have a certain degree of feeling to prompt us to do good. More than that, Providence does not intend. It would be misery to no purpose. --Samuel Johnson (17091784) English poet, critic, and lexicographer. In James Boswell _Life of Samuel Johnson_ "19 October 1769" [1791]. A decent provision for the poor, is the true test of civilization. --Samuel Johnson (17091784) English poet, critic, and lexicographer. In James Boswell _The Life of Samuel Johnson_ "26 October 1769" [1791]. - The more you are drawn to put yourself in the place of the other person, the more you feel the pain inflicted upon him, the insult offered him, the injustice of which he is a victim, the more will you be urged to act so that you may prevent the pain, insult or injustice. --Peter Kropotkin (18421921) Russian anarchist. _Kropotkin's Revolutionary Pamphlets_ [1927], "Anarchist Morality" We all have strength enough to endure the misfortunes of others. --Franηois de La Rochefoucauld (16131680) French classical author. _Reflections; or, Sentences and Moral Maxims_ [1678]; maxim 19 ^ Walter Savage Landor (17751864) British poet, essayist, and critic. Landor's cook displeased his master one day by serving an indifferent meal. Landor in a passion threw him through an open window. The cook landed awkwardly in the flower bed below and broke a limb. Landor cried out, 'Good God, I forgot the violets!' --_Bartlett's Book of Anecdotes_ edited by Clifton Fadiman and Andrι Bernard [2000 ed.] ^ I must try not to let my own present unhappiness harden my heart against the woes of others! You too are going through a dreadful time. Ah well, it will not last forever. There will come a day for all of us when "it is finished." God help us all. --C.S. [Clive Staples] Lewis (18981963) British scholar and novelist. _Letters to an American Lady_ [1967], "1 April 1957" They are slaves who fear to speak For the fallen and the weak. --James Russell Lowell (18191891) American poet, critic, essayist, and diplomat. "Stanzas on Freedom" [1843] ^ Marie Edmι Patrice Maurice Macmahon, Comte de (18081893) French general and statesman; president [1873-1879] Visiting a field hospital one day, the marshall addressed a few words to a soldier who lay ill with a tropical fever. 'Yes, that's a nasty disease you've got there. You either die of it, or go crazy. I've been through it myself.' --_Bartlett's Book of Anecdotes_ edited by Clifton Fadiman and Andrι Bernard [2000 ed.] ^ There is nothing we like to see so much as the gleam of pleasure in a person's eye when he feels that we have sympathized with him, understood him, interested ourself in his welfare. At these moments something fine and spiritual passes between two friends. These moments are the moments worth living. --Don Marquis (18781937) American poet and journalist. _Prefaces_ [1919] "Preface To a Memorandum Book" The urge to save humanity is almost always a false front for the urge to rule. --H.L. (Henry Louis) Mencken (18801956) American journalist and literary critic. _Minority Report: H.L. Mencken's Notebooks_ [1956] If you have a suffering friend, be a resting-place for his suffering, but a resting-place like a hard bed, a camp-bed: thus you will serve him best. --Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche (18441900) German classical scholar, philosopher, and critic of culture. "Of the Compassionate" in _Thus Spoke Zarathustra_ [1892] What is wrong with the old Adam Smith philosophy and what should be completely unacceptable to any American (and I would say this particularly to my fellow Republicans) is the idea of the survival of the fittest. Let's put it this way: The fittest should survive, and also the fit should survive. Those who are 'unfit' you have to have a social conscience about, to take care of them. The 'survival of the fittest' assumes 'the hell with the rest of them.' This is wrong, morally and socially, apart from being completely wrong politically. --Richard Nixon (19131994) American Republican statesman, President [19691974]. Quoted in Earl Mazo, _Richard Nixon: A Political and Personal Portrait_ [1959]. When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives means the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving much advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a gentle and tender hand. The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is a friend who cares. --Henri Nouwen (19321996) Dutch Catholic priest and writer. _Out of Solitude_ [1974] Often the most loving thing we can do when a friend is in pain is to share the pain to be there even when we have nothing to offer except our presence and even when being there is painful to ourselves. --Scott Peck (19362005) American author. _The Different Drum_, p. 97 [1987] So perish all whose breast ne'er learned to glow For others' good, or melt at others' woe! --Alexander Pope (16881744) English poet. "Elegy to an Unfortunate Lady", l. 45 [1717] A full heart has room for everything and an empty heart has room for nothing. --Antonio Porchia (18851968) Italian poet. _Voces_ [1943], translated from Spanish by W.S. Merwin. - Anything can happen to anybody. I remember the last movie I did I played a paraplegic in a movie called "Above Suspicion," and I went to a rehab center and I worked with the people there so I could simulate being a paraplegic. And every day I would get in my car and drive away and go, "Thank God, that's not me," and seven months later I was in this condition. And I remember in a way the smugness of that, as if I was privileged in a way. The point is we are all one great big family and any one of us can get hurt at any moment. So that taught me a really big lesson about complacency. We should never walk by somebody who's in a wheelchair and be afraid of them or think of them as a stranger. It could be us in fact, it is us. --Christopher Reeve (19522004) American actor, director, producer, and writer. In an Oprah Winfrey television interview [4 May 1998]. - Human beings are like parts of a body, created from the same essence. When one part is hurt and in pain, the others cannot remain in peace and be quiet. If the misery of others leaves you indifferent and with no feelings of sorrow, you cannot be called a human being. --attributed to Sa'di [Muslih-uddin] (c. 11841291?) Iranian poet. Anyone can sympathize with another's sorrow, but to sympathize with another's joy is the attribute of an angel. --attributed to Arthur Schopenhauer (17881860) German philosopher. My pity hath been balm to heal their wounds. --William Shakespeare (15641616) English dramatist. _King Henry VI_, pt. III, act IV, sc. 8 [1592] You see things; and you say, 'Why?' But I dream things that never were; and I say, 'Why not?' --George Bernard Shaw (18561950) Irish comic dramatist, literary critic, Socialist propagandist, and winner of the Nobel Prize for Literature in 1925. _Back to Methuselah_, pt. 1, act 1 [1921] When times get rough, And friends just can't be found Like a bridge over troubled water I will lay me down. --Paul Simon (b. 1941) American singer and songwriter. "Bridge over Troubled Water" [1970 song] I do not ask the wounded person how he feels, I myself become the wounded person. --Walt Whitman (18191892) American poet. "Song of Myself" in _Leaves of Grass_ [1855]. ----- lenity [LEN-uh-tee], noun: The state or quality of being lenient; mildness; gentleness of treatment; leniency. end page | CALAMITIES - CALM | CALUMNY - CANADA | CANCER - CAPITAL PUNISHMENT | CAPITALISM | CAREFREE - CARPE DIEM | CARTER (JIMMY) - CATS & DOGS | CAUSES AND CONSEQUENCES - CENSORSHIP | CERTAINTY - CHANGE | CHANGING (ONE'S MIND) & CHANGING TIMES | CHARACTER | CHARACTER ASSASINATION - CHEERFULNESS | CHEER UP! - CHILDHOOD | CHILDREN | CHILDREN'S RHYME | CHINA | CHOCOLATE - CHRISTIANITY | CHRISTMAS | CHURCH - CIGARS | CIRCUMSTANCES & CITIES | CIVILITY - CIVIL RIGHTS | CLARITY - CLEVER | CLOTHES - COFFEE | COLD - COLORS | COMEDY | COMFORT - COMMON SENSE | COMMUNICATION | COMMUNISM | COMPANIONSHIP - COMPASSION | COMPETITION - COMPLIMENTS | COMPOSERS - CONDUCTORS | CONFESSION - CONQUEST | CONSCIENCE - CONTENTED | CONTEXT - CONVERSATION | CONVICTION & COOKING | COOLIDGE - CORPORATIONS | CORRUPTION - COURAGE | COURT - COWS | CREATIVITY - CRIME | CRIME & PUNISHMENT - CROOKS | CRITICISM & CRITICS | CROWD (THE) - CUBA | CULTURE - CYNICS | | A | B | C | D | E | F | G | | Return Home | The Credits | The Cast | Act 1 | Act 2 | Act 3 | The Reviews | |
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