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COMPANIONSHIP --- COMPANY (HAVING)
(THE) COMPANY (YOU KEEP)
COMPARISONS --- COMPASSION

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COMPANIONSHIP

see "FRIENDS / FRIENDSHIP"


Constant companionship is not enjoyable, any more than
constant eating. We sit too long at the table of friendship,
when we outsit our appetites for each other's thoughts.
--Christian Nestell Bovee (1820—1904)
American writer.

Our companions please us less from the
charms we find in their conversation than
from those they find in ours.
--Fulke Greville (1554—1628)
English philosophical poet.

We got sunlight on the sand,
we got moonlight on the sea
We got mangos and bananas
you can pick right off a tree
We got volleyball and Ping-Pong
and a lot of dandy games
What ain't we got?
We ain't got dames
--Oscar Hammerstein II (1895—1960)
American songwriter.
"There is Nothing Like a Dame",
[1949 song], "South Pacific"

Ultimately the bond of all companionship,
whether in marriage or in friendship, is
conversation.
--Oscar Wilde (1854—1900)
Anglo-Irish dramatist and poet.
_De Profundis_




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COMPANY (HAVING)

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see "HOME & FAMILY" for related links
see "FOOD & DRINK" for related links
see "FRIENDSHIP" for related links


Santa Claus has the right idea — visit people only once a year.
--Victor Borge [Berge Rosenbaum] (1909—2000)
Danish-born American humorist, entertainer, and pianist.

Never seem wiser, nor more learned, than the people
you are with. Wear your learning, like your watch, in
a private pocket: and do not merely pull it out and
strike it; merely to show that you have one.
--Lord Chesterfield [Philip Dormer Stanhope] (1694—1773)
Charles Strachey {ed.} _The Letters of the Earl of Chesterfield to His Son_ [1901]

Fish and visitors smell in three days.
--Benjamin Franklin (1706—1790)
American politician, inventor, and scientist.
_Poor Richard's Almanack_ [1736]

It isn't so much what's on the table that
matters, as what's on the chairs.
--W. S. Gilbert (1836—1911)
English writer of comic and satirical verse.

Some people can stay longer in an
hour than others can in a week.
--attributed to William Dean Howells (1837—1920)
American novelist and critic.
-

Whenever two people meet there are really six
people present. There is each man as he sees
himself, each man as the other sees him, and
each man as he really is.
--William James (1842—1910)
American philosopher.

& see:

Every man has three characters--that which he exhibits, that
which he has, and that which he thinks he has.
--Jean-Baptiste Alphonse Karr (1808—1890)
French novelist and journalist.

-

Not many sounds in life, and I include all urban and
all rural sounds, exceed in interest a knock at the
door.
--Charles Lamb (1775—1834)
English essayist.
"Valentine's Day," _Essays of Elia_ [1823]

I've had a perfectly wonderful evening.
But this wasn't it.
--Groucho [Julius Henry] Marx (1895—1977)
American film comedian.

Shut, shut the door, good John! fatigued, I said.
Tie up the knocker! Say I'm sick, I'm dead.
--Alexander Pope (1688—1744)
English poet.
Epistle to Dr. Arbuthnot [1734]

Visits always give pleasure - if not the
arrival, the departure.
--Portuguese proverb

Dinner at the Huntercombes' possessed only
two dramatic features: the wine was a farce
and the food a tragedy.
--Anthony Powell (1905—2000)
English novelist.

His worth is warrant for his welcome.
--William Shakespeare (1564—1616)
English dramatist.
_Two Gentlemen of Verona_, ii

You must come again when you have
less time.
--Walter Sickert (1860—1942)
German-born British artist.

I love good credible acquaintance; I love
to be the worst of the company.
--Jonathan Swift (1667—1745)
Anglo-Irish poet and satirist.
_Journal to Stella_ [17 May 1711]

-

The art of hospitality is to make guests
feel at home when you wish they were.
--anon.

-----

alacrity (noun)
Promptness or cheerful and speedy readiness in response.
(accepted the invitation with ~)

ceilidh (noun) ['key-li]
1: (Scotland and Ireland) A social gathering, especially one at which hosts and
guests participate in traditional music, dancing, or storytelling.

convivial [kuhn-VIV-ee-uhl], adjective:
Relating to, occupied with, or fond of feasting, drinking, and
good company; merry; festive.
Ex.: "He hated to drink to excess, disliked convivial
entertaining and had no gift for bonhomie."
--Stella Tillyard, _Citizen Lord_

gauche (adj.)
Socially awkward, lacking grace or tact in social situations.
[Mid-18th century. From French, literally “left-handed.”]

gregarious (adj.) [grκ-'gζr-ee-κs]
Seeking out and enjoying the company of others;
aggressively sociable.

persiflage (noun) ['pκr-sκ-flahzh]
Light, sociable chatter or a superficial,
sociable manner of speaking.

regale [rih-GAY(uh)L], transitive verb:
1. To entertain with something that delights.
2. To entertain sumptuously with fine food and drink.
intransitive verb: To feast.
noun:
1. A sumptuous feast.
2. A choice food; a delicacy.
3. Refreshment.
Ex. : If I've been away, and the boys do remember to ask about my
trip, I remark on their thoughtfulness by saying, 'Thanks for
asking!' and then regale them with stories about my journey.
--Lucy Calkins, "Raising Lifelong Learners: A Parent's Guide"

soiree [swah-RAY], noun:
An evening party or social gathering.



(THE) COMPANY (YOU KEEP)

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see "FRIENDS / FRIENDSHIP"


Bad company is like a nail driven into a post, which, after the
first or second blow, may be drawn out with little difficulty; but
being once driven up to the head, the pincers cannot take hold
to draw it out, but which can only be done by the destruction
of the wood.
--Augustine, St. of Hippo (354—430)
Christian theologian and bishop of Hippo in
Roman Africa [396—430].

-

He that walketh with wise men shall be wise: but a
companion of fools shall be destroyed.
--Bible
"Proverbs" 13:20


Do not make friends with a hot-tempered
man, do not associate with one easily
angered, or you may learn his ways and
get yourself ensnared.
--Bible
"Proverbs" 22:24-25 NIV


Bad company corrupts good character.
--Bible
1 "Corinthians" 15:33

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I may be a bad woman, but I'm awfully good company.
--Fanny Brice [Fania Borach] (1891—1951)
American comedian, singer, and entertainer.

Tell me thy company and I will tell thee what thou art.
--Miguel de Cervantes (1547—1616)
Spanish novelist.
_Don Quixote de la Mancha_ [1605-1615], v. III, pt. II, ch. XXIII

People are, in general, what they are made, by education
and company, from fifteen to five-and-twenty; consider
well, therefore, the importance of your next eight or nine
years; your whole depends upon them.
--Lord Chesterfield [Philip Dormer Stanhope] (1694—1773)
Letter to his son [1 April 1748].

Better be alone than in bad company.
--John Clarke (1596—1658)
Comp. _Proverbs: English and Latine_ [1639]

A companion is but another self; wherefore it is an argument
that a man is wicked if he keep company with the wicked.
--Pope Clement I (Clemens Romanus)
[Pope from c.88—101]

Those who consent to the act and those
who do it shall be equally punished.
--Sir Edward Coke (1552—1634)
English writer on law.

Be cautious with whom you associate, and never give
your company or your confidence to persons of whose
good principles you are not certain.
--William Hart Coleridge (1789—1849)
British Bishop of Barbados and the Leeward Islands [1824—1842].

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In all societies, it is advisable to associate if possible with
the highest; not that the highest are always the best, but
because, if disgusted there, we can at any time descend;
but if we begin with the lowest, to ascend is impossible.
--C.C. Colton (1780—1832)
English clergyman and writer.


No company is far preferable to bad, because we are more
apt to catch the vices of others than their virtues, as disease
is far more contagious than health.
--C.C. Colton (1780—1832)
English clergyman and writer.


When we live habitually with the wicked, we become necessarily
either their victim or their disciple; when we associate, on the
contrary, with virtuous men, we form ourselves in imitation of
their virtues, or, at least, lose every day something of our faults.
--C.C. Colton (1780—1832)
English clergyman and writer.

-

I have now for more than a year, I believe, ceased
to write in my journal, in which I formerly wrote
almost daily. I see few intellectual persons, and
even those to no purpose, and sometimes believe
that I have no new thoughts, and that my life is
quite at an end. But the magnet that lies in my
drawer, for years, may believe it has no magnetism,
and, on touching it with steel, it knows the old
virtue; and, this morning, came by a man with
knowledge and interests like mine, in his head,
and suddenly I had thoughts again.
--Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803—1882)
American philosopher and poet.
_Journal_ [April 1859]

On the choice of friends
Our good or evil name depends.
--John Gay (1685—1732)
English poet and dramatist.

Keep me away from the wisdom which does
not cry, the philosophy which does not
laugh and the greatness which does not
bow before children.
--Kahlil Gibran (1883—1931)
Lebanese poet.

He that lies with the dogs, riseth with fleas.
--George Herbert (1593—1633)
English religious poet.
_Comp. Outlandish Proverbs_ [1640]

You are the same today that you are going to be five
years from now except for two things: the people with
whom you associate, and the books you read.
--Charles Jones

Depend on no man, on no friend, but
him who can depend on himself.
--Johann Kaspar Lavater (1741—1801)
Swiss writer, Protestant pastor, and founder of physiognomics.

I am not bound to win, but I am bound to be true.
I am not bound to succeed, but I am bound to live
by the light that I have. I must stand with anybody
that stands right, stand with him while he is right,
and part with him when he goes wrong.
--Abraham Lincoln (1809—1865)
American Republican statesman, President [1861—1865].

There is no better indication of a man's
character than the company which he keeps.
--Niccolς Machiavelli (1469—1527)
Florentine statesman and political philosopher.
_The Discourses_, 3.34 [1517]

If you live with a cripple, you will learn to limp.
--Plutarch (A.D. 46?—119?)
Greek philosopher and biographer.
_Moralia_ [c. 100], "The Education of Children"

Whosoever formeth an intimacy with the enemies
of his friends, does so to injure the latter. O wise
man! wash your hands of that friend who associates
with your enemies.
--Sa'di [Muslih-uddin] (c. 1184—1291?)
Iranian poet.

Tell me who admires you and loves you,
and I will tell you who you are.
--Charles Augustin Sainte-Beuve (1804—1869)
French critic and literary historian.
In Mark Goulston
_The 6 Secrets of a Lasting Relationship_, p. 111 [2002].

If you're dumb, surround yourself with smart people.
If you're smart, surround yourself with smart people
who disagree with you.
--Aaron Sorkin (1961— )
American screenwriter and producer.

To succeed in the world, it is much more necessary
to possess the penetration to discern who is a fool
than to discover who is a clever man.
--Charles Maurice de Talleyrand-Pιrigord (1754—1838)
French statesman.

Keep away from people who try to belittle your
ambitions. Small people always do that, but
the really great make you feel that you, too,
can become great.
--Mark Twain [Samuel Langhorne Clemens] (1835—1910)
American humorist, novelist, journalist, and river pilot.

Associate yourself with men of good quality if you
esteem your own reputation; for 'tis better to be
alone than in bad company.
--George Washington (1732—1799)
American general and commander-in-chief of the
colonial armies in the American Revolution [1775—1783]
and first president of the United States [1789—1797].
"Rules of Civility" [1747], collected in Charles Moore
_George Washington's Rules of Civilty and Decent
Behavior in Comapany and Conversation_ [1926].

Three things it is best to avoid: a strange dog,
a flood, and a man who thinks he is wise.
--Welsh Proverb



COMPARISONS

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see: "CRITICISM"
see: "DIFFERENT"


You don't have to blow out the other
fellow's light to let your own shine.
--Bernard Baruch (1870—1965)
American financier.
In Bob Kelly _Worth Repeating: More Than
5,000 Classic and Contemporary Quotes_, P. 212 [2003].

A noble man compares and estimates himself by an idea which is higher
than himself; and a mean man, by one lower than himself. The one
produces aspiration; the other ambition, which is the way in which a
vulgar man aspires.
--Henry Ward Beecher (1813—1887)
American Congregational minister;
[brother of Harriet Beecher Stowe, son of Lyman Beecher].

Is it possible your pragmatical worship should not know
that the comparisons made between wit and wit, courage
and courage, beauty and beauty, birth and birth, are
always odious and ill taken?
--Miguel de Cervantes (1547—1616)
Spanish novelist.
_Don Quixote de la Mancha_ [1605—1615], pt. II, ch. I

Enjoy your own life without comparing it with that of another.
--Marie-Jean-Antoine-Nicolas de Caritat, marquis de Condorcet (1743—1794)
French philosopher.

We can all perceive the difference between ourselves
and our inferiors, but when it comes to a question of
the difference between us and our superiors we fail
to appreciate merits of which we have no proper
conceptions.
--James Fenimore Cooper (1789—1851)
American novelist.
_The American Democrat_ [1838]

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times,
it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness,
it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity,
it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness,
it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair,
we had everything before us, we had nothing before us,
we were all going direct to Heaven, we were all going
direct the other way--in short, the period was so far like
the present period, that some of its noisiest authorities
insisted on its being received, for good or for evil, in
the superlative degree of comparison only.
--Charles Dickens (1812—1870)
English novelist.
_A Tale of Two Cities_ [1859]
Book the First: Recalled to Life, Ch. I, "The Period" (first lines)

If you compare yourself with others, you may become
vain and bitter, for always there will be greater
and lesser persons than yourself.
--Max Ehrmann (1872—1945)
American lawyer.
_Desiderata_ [1927]

There is nothing noble in being superior to some other
person. True nobility comes from being superior to your
previous self.
--Hindu Saying
In _A Conspectus of American Biography_, p. 726 [1906],
compiled by George Derby.

Instead of comparing our lot with that of those who are more fortunate
than we are, we should compare it with the lot of the great majority of
our fellow men. It then appears that we are among the privileged.
--Helen Keller (1880—1968)
American author and educator who was blind and deaf.

Some are good, some are middling, the most are bad.
[Latin: Sunt bona, sunt quaedam mediocria, sunt mala plura.]
--Martial [Marcus Valerius Martialis] (38/41—103)
Roman poet.
_Epigrams_ [86-98], I, 17, 1

If one only wished to be happy, this could be easily
accomplished; but we wish to be happier than other
people, and this is always difficult, for we believe
others to be happier than they are.
--Baron de Montesquieu (Charles Louis de Secondat) (1689—1755)
French philosopher, jurist, and satirist.

Winners compare their achievements with their goals,
while losers compare their achievements with those
of other people.
--Nido Qubein

Yet why repine? I have seen mansions on the verge of
Wales that convert my farm-house into a Hampton Court,
and where they speak of a glazed window as a great
piece of magnificence. All things figure by comparison.
--William Shenstone (1714—1763)
English poet.

That which makes people dissatisfied with their
condition is the chimerical idea they form of the
happiness of others.
--James Thomson (1700—1748)
Scottish poet.




Click picture to ZOOM
COMPASSION

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see "EMOTIONS & FEELINGS" for related links
see "KINDNESS" for related links


Compassion will cure more sins than condemnation.
--Henry Ward Beecher (1813—1887)
American Congregational minister;
[brother of Harriet Beecher Stowe, son of Lyman Beecher].

-

Can I see another's woe, And not be in
sorrow too? Can I see another's grief,
And not seek for kind relief?
--William Blake (1757—1827)
English poet.
"On Another's Sorrow"


He who would do good to another must do it in minute particulars. General
good is the plea of the scoundrel, hypocrite, and flatterer.
--William Blake (1757—1827)
English poet.
_Jerusalem_

-

You begin saving the world by saving one person at
a time; all else is grandiose romanticism or politics.
--Charles Bukowski (1920—1994)
German-born American poet.

To grow old is to pass from passion
to compassion.
--Albert Camus (1913—1960)
French novelist, dramatist, and essayist who won
the 1957 Nobel Prize for Literature.

How far you go in life depends on your being tender with the
young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the
striving and tolerant of the weak and the strong. Because
someday in life you will have been all of these.
--George Washington Carver (1864—1943)
American agricultural chemist and agronomist.
In _A Collection of Quotations by People of Color_ [1991],
edited by Dorothy Winbush Riley.

When a good man is hurt all who would be called
good must suffer with him.
--Euripides (485?—406 B.C.)
Greek dramatist.

O divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek
To be consoled as to console;
To be understood as to understand.
--Francis, St, of Assisi (1181—1226)
Italian monk.
"Prayer of St. Francis," attributed

We are the standard-bearers in the only really authentic revolution,
the democratic revolution against tyrannies. Our strength is not to
be measured by our military capacity alone, by our industry, or by
our technology. We will be remembered, not for the power of our
weapons, but for the power of our compassion, our dedication to
human welfare.
--Hubert H. Humphrey (1911—1978)
38th vice-president of the United States
[1965-1969] and liberal senator [1949—1965
& 1971—1978].
_The Cause is Mankind_ [1964]

My dearest, she's dead! Let's get married at once!
--Miss Adeline Horsey de Horsey (1824—1915)
paramour of Lord Cardigan [referring to the death of his
estranged wife, in July 1858; they married in September.]

It's odd that you can get so anesthetized by your
own pain or your own problem that you don't quite
fully share the hell of someone close to you.
--Claudia "Lady Bird" Johnson (1912—2007)
First Lady of the U.S. [1963—1969].

There is much noise made about [sympathy for the
distress of others], but it is greatly exaggerated.
No, Sir, we have a certain degree of feeling to
prompt us to do good. More than that, Providence
does not intend. It would be misery to no purpose.
--Samuel Johnson (1709—1784)
English poet, critic, and lexicographer.
In James Boswell _Life of Samuel Johnson_ [19 October 1791].

The more you are drawn to put yourself in the place
of the other person, the more you feel the pain
inflicted upon him, the insult offered him, the
injustice of which he is a victim, the more will you
be urged to act so that you may prevent the pain,
insult or injustice.
--Peter Kropotkin (1842—1921)
Russian anarchist.
_Kropotkin's Revolutionary Pamphlets_ [1927], "Anarchist Morality"

We are all strong enough to bear
the misfortunes of others.
--Franηois de La Rochefoucauld (1613—1680)
French classical author.
_Maximes_ [1678]

^

Walter Savage Landor (1775—1864)
British poet, essayist, and critic.

Landor's cook displeased his master one day
by serving an indifferent meal. Landor in a
passion threw him through an open window.
The cook landed awkwardly in the flower bed
below and broke a limb. Landor cried out,
'Good God, I forgot the violets!'

--_Bartlett's Book of Anecdotes_
edited by Clifton Fadiman and Andrι Bernard [2000 ed.]

^

I must try not to let my own present unhappiness harden
my heart against the woes of others! You too are going
through a dreadful time. Ah well, it will not last
forever. There will come a day for all of us when "it
is finished." God help us all.
--C.S. [Clive Staples] Lewis (1898—1963)
British scholar and novelist.
_Letters to an American Lady_ [1967], "1 April 1957"

They are slaves who fear to speak
For the fallen and the weak.
--James Russell Lowell (1819—1891)
American poet, critic, essayist, and diplomat.
"Stanzas on Freedom" [1843]

^

Marie Edmι Patrice Maurice Macmahon,
Comte de (1808—1893) French general
and statesman; president [1873-1879]

Visiting a field hospital one day, the marshall
addressed a few words to a soldier who lay
ill with a tropical fever. 'Yes, that's a nasty
disease you've got there. You either die of
it, or go crazy. I've been through it myself.'

--_Bartlett's Book of Anecdotes_
edited by Clifton Fadiman and Andrι Bernard [2000 ed.]

^

There is nothing we like to see so much as the gleam of pleasure
in a person's eye when he feels that we have sympathized with
him, understood him, interested ourself in his welfare. At these
moments something fine and spiritual passes between two
friends. These moments are the moments worth living.
--Don Marquis (1878—1937)
American poet and journalist.

To commiserate is sometimes more than to give,
for money is external to a man's self, but he
who bestows compassion communicates his own
soul.
--Rev. William Mountford

-

If you have a suffering friend, be a resting-place
for his suffering, but a resting-place like a hard
bed, a camp-bed: thus you will serve him best.
--Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche (1844—1900)
German classical scholar, philosopher, and critic of culture.
"Of the Compassionate" in _Thus Spoke Zarathustra_ [1892]

-

What is wrong with the old Adam Smith philosophy
and what should be completely unacceptable to any
American (and I would say this particularly to my
fellow Republicans) is the idea of the survival of
the fittest. Let's put it this way: The fittest should
survive, and also the fit should survive. Those who
are 'unfit' you have to have a social conscience about,
to take care of them. The 'survival of the fittest'
assumes 'the hell with the rest of them.' This is
wrong, morally and socially, apart from being
completely wrong politically.
--Richard Nixon (1913—1994)
American Republican statesman, President [1969—1974].
Quoted in Earl Mazo,
_Richard Nixon: A Political and Personal Portrait_ [1959].

-

When we honestly ask ourselves which person in
our lives means the most to us, we often find that
it is those who, instead of giving much advice,
solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share
our pain and touch our wounds with a gentle and
tender hand. The friend who can be silent with us
in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay
with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who
can tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing
and face with us the reality of our powerlessness,
that is a friend who cares.
--Henri Nouwen (1932—1996)
Dutch Catholic priest and writer.

Often the most loving thing we can do when a friend
is in pain is to share the pain – to be there even when
we have nothing to offer except our presence and
even when being there is painful to ourselves.
--Scott Peck (1936—2005)
American author.
_The Different Drum_, p.97 [1987]

A full heart has room for everything and
an empty heart has room for nothing.
--Antonio Porchia (1885—1968)
Italian poet.
_Voces_ [1943],
translated from Spanish by W.S. Merwin.

-

Anything can happen to anybody. I remember
the last movie I did I played a paraplegic in
a movie called "Above Suspicion," and I went
to a rehab center and I worked with the people
there so I could simulate being a paraplegic.
And every day I would get in my car and drive
away and go, "Thank God, that's not me,"
and seven months later I was in this condition.
And I remember in a way the smugness of that,
as if I was privileged in a way.

The point is we are all one great big family
and any one of us can get hurt at any moment.
So that taught me a really big lesson about
complacency. We should never walk by
somebody who's in a wheelchair and be afraid
of them or think of them as a stranger. It
could be us--in fact, it is us.

--Christopher Reeve (1952—2004)
American actor, director, producer, and writer.
In an Oprah Winfrey television interview [4 May 1998].

-

Human beings are like parts of a body, created
from the same essence. When one part is hurt
and in pain, the others cannot remain in peace
and be quiet. If the misery of others leaves
you indifferent and with no feelings of sorrow,
you cannot be called a human being.
--Sa'di [Muslih-uddin] (c. 1184—1291?)
Iranian poet.

Anybody can sympathize with another's sorrow, but to
sympathize with another's joy is the attribute of an
angel.
--Arthur Schopenhauer (1788—1860)
German philosopher.

Until he extends his circle of compassion to include
all living things, man will not himself find peace.
--Albert Schweitzer (1875—1965)
Franco-German theologian, philosopher, and mission doctor.

You see things; and you say, 'Why?' But I dream
things that never were; and I say, 'Why not?'
--George Bernard Shaw (1856—1950)
Irish comic dramatist, literary critic, Socialist
propagandist, and winner of the Nobel Prize
for Literature in 1925.
_Back to Methuselah_ [1921], pt. 1, act 1

When times get rough,
And friends just can't be found
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down.
--Paul Simon (1941— )
American singer and songwriter.
"Bridge over Troubled Water" [1970 song]

I do not ask the wounded person how he feels, I
myself become the wounded person.
--Walt Whitman (1819—1892)
American poet.
In Fredric Wertham's _A Sign for Cain: An Exploration of Human Violence_ [1966], Ch. 10

-----

lenity [LEN-uh-tee], noun:
The state or quality of being lenient; mildness;
gentleness of treatment; leniency.
Ex.: And what makes robbers bold but too much lenity?
William Shakespeare, _Henry VI_, part III


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