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CHILDREN

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see: "BOYS"
see: "CHILDHOOD"
see: "GIRLS"
see: "PARENTING/PARENTS"
see: "YOUTH"
see "AGE" for other related links
see "HOME & FAMILY" for other related links
see "HAPPINESS" for other related links


Children should be seen and not heard.
--John Quincy Adams (1767—1848)
6th President of the United States.
_Memoirs_ [1820]

It is no wonder that people are so horrible
when they start their life as children.
--Sir Kingsley Amis (1922—1995)
English novelist, poet, critic, and father of Martin Amis.

-

"Please Will You Take Your Children Home Before I Do Them In"
by Pam Ayers

Please will you take your children home
Before I do them in?
I kissed your little son
As he came posturing within.
I took his little jacket
And removed his little hat
But now the visit's over
So push off you little brat.

And don't think for a moment
That I didn't understand
How the hatchet he was waving
In his grotty little hand
Broke my china teapot
That I've always held so dear —
But would you mind removing him
Before I smack his ear?

Of course I wasn't angry
As I shovelled up the dregs,
I'm only glad the teabags
Didn't scald his little legs.
I'm glad he liked my chocolate cake
I couldn't help but laugh
As he rubbed it in the carpet —
Would he like the other half?

He guzzled all the orange
And he guzzled all the Coke —
The only thing that kept me sane
Was hoping he might choke. [. . .]

He's been playing in the garden
And he's throttled all the flowers,
Give the lad a marlinspike
He'll sit out there for hours.
I've gathered my insecticides
And marked them with their name
And put them up where children
Couldn't reach them. That's a shame.

Still he must have liked my dog
Because he choked her half to death,
She'll go out for another game
Once she's caught her breath.
He rode her round the garden
And he lashed her with his rope
She's never bitten anyone
But still, we live in hope.

He's kicked the TV now!
I like to see it getting booted
Kick it one more time son
You might get electrocuted!
Yes, turn up the volume,
Twist the knobs, my little treasure
And when the programme's over
There's the door. It's been a pleasure.

-

Children have never been very good at listening
to their elders, but they have never failed to
imitate them.
--James Baldwin (1924—1987)
American author and playwright.
_Nobody Knows My Name_ [1961], ch. 3

When the first baby laughed for the first time,
the laugh broke into a thousand pieces and they
all went skipping about, and that was the
beginning of the fairies.
--Sir James Matthew Barrie (1860—1937)
Scottish writer and dramatist,
_Peter Pan_ [1928]

When I hear my friends say they hope
their children don't have to experience
the hardships they went through — I don't
agree. Those hardships made us what we
are. You can be disadvantaged in many
ways, and one way may be not having
had to struggle.
--William M. Batten (1909—1999)
American businessman; CEO of
JCPenney and Chairman of the NY
Stock Exchange.

If a boy is not trained to endure and to bear trouble, he will grow
up a girl; and a boy that is a girl has all a girl's weakness without
any of her regal qualities. A woman made out of a woman is God's
noblest work; a woman made out of a man is His meanest.
--Henry Ward Beecher (1813—1887)
American Congregational minister;
[brother of Harriet Beecher Stowe, son of Lyman Beecher.]

-

Dachshunds are ideal dogs for small children, as they
are already stretched and pulled to such a length that
a child cannot do much harm one way or another.
--Robert Benchley (1889—1945)
American humorist and newspaper columnist.


In America there are two classes of travel — first class,
and with children. Traveling with children corresponds
roughly to traveling third class in Bulgaria.
--Robert Benchley (1889—1945)
American humorist and newspaper columnist.
_Pluck and Luck_ [1925]

-

You can do anything with children,
if only you will play with them.
--Otto von Bismarck (1815—1898)
Prime Minister of the Kingdom of Prussia 1862—1890.
He unified Germany with a series of successful wars and
became the first Chancellor 1871—1890 of the German Empire.

Remember that children, marriages, and flower
gardens reflect the kind of care they get.
--H. Jackson Brown, Jr. (1940— )
American author.

If the first button of one's coat is wrongly
buttoned, all the rest will be crooked.
--Giordano [Filippo] Bruno (1548—1600)
Italian philosopher, astronomer, and mathematician.
In John Emerich & Edward Dalberg
_The Cambridge Modern History_, p. 707 [1904].

It was an old, old, old, old lady,
And a boy who was half-past three;
And the way they played together
Was beautiful to see.
--Henry Cuyler Bunner (1855—1896)
American poet, novelist, and editor.
_One, Two, Three_

Children don't often listen to their elders,
but they never fail to imitate them.
--Quoted by First Lady Laura Bush on C-Span's
"American Writers"

When I see the Ten Most Wanted lists I always
have this thought: If we'd made them feel
wanted earlier, they wouldn't be wanted now.
--Eddie Cantor (1882—1964)
American comedian, actor, singer, and songwriter.

I am fond of children (except boys).
--Lewis Carroll [Charles Lutwidge Dodgson] (1832—1898)
English writer and logician.
Letter to Kathleen Eschwege [24 October 1879].

Sometimes when I look at my children I say
to myself, "Lillian, you should have stayed
a virgin."
--Lillian Carter (1898—1983)
U.S. matriarch, mother of American President Jimmy Carter.
(Quoted in _Life_, January 1981).

Each second we live is a new and unique moment of the
universe, a moment that will never be again... And what
do we teach our children? We teach them that two and
two make four, and that Paris is the capital of France.
When will we also teach them what they are? We should
say to them: Do you know what you are? You are a marvel.
You are unique. In all the years that have passed, there
has never been another child like you. Your legs, your
arms, your clever fingers, the way you move. You may
become a Shakespeare, a Michaelangelo, a Beethoven. You
have the capacity for anything. Yes, you are a marvel.
And when you grow up, can you then harm another who is,
like you, a marvel? You must work — we must all work
— to make the world worthy of its children.
--Pablo Casals (1876—1973)
Spanish-born cellist and conductor.

-

My child arrived just the other day,
He came to the world in the usual way.
But there were planes to catch, and bills to pay.
He learned to walk while I was away.
And he was talking 'fore I knew it, and as he grew,
He'd say, "I'm gonna be like you, dad.
You know I'm gonna be like you."

And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon,
Little boy blue and the man in the moon.
"When you coming home, dad?" "I don't know when,
But we'll get together then.
You know we'll have a good time then."

My son turned ten just the other day.
He said, "Thanks for the ball, dad, come on let's play.
Can you teach me to throw?" I said, "Not today,
I got a lot to do." He said, "That's ok."
And he walked away, but his smile never dimmed,
Said, "I'm gonna be like him, yeah.
You know I'm gonna be like him."

And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon,
Little boy blue and the man in the moon.
"When you coming home, dad?" "I don't know when,
But we'll get together then.
You know we'll have a good time then."

Well, he came from college just the other day,
So much like a man I just had to say,
"Son, I'm proud of you. Can you sit for a while?"
He shook his head, and he said with a smile,
"What I'd really like, dad, is to borrow the car keys.
See you later. Can I have them please?"

And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon,
Little boy blue and the man in the moon.
"When you coming home, son?" "I don't know when,
But we'll get together then, dad.
You know we'll have a good time then."

I've long since retired and my son's moved away.
I called him up just the other day.
I said, "I'd like to see you if you don't mind."
He said, "I'd love to, dad, if I could find the time.
You see, my new job's a hassle, and the kid's got the flu,
But it's sure nice talking to you, dad.
It's been sure nice talking to you."

And as I hung up the phone, it occurred to me,
He'd grown up just like me.
My boy was just like me.

--Harry Chapin (1942—1981)
American singer and songwriter.
_Cat's in the Cradle_ [1974]
(Lyrics by Harry and Sandra Chapin.)

-

Crane's Rule: There are three ways to get something
done: do it yourself, hire someone, or forbid your kids
to do it.

Beat your child once a day.
If you don't know why, he does.
--Chinese proverb

Human beings are the only creatures that allow
their children to come back home.
--Bill Cosby (1937— )
American comedian.

As a child I was never kissed, never hugged,
never had a compliment.
--Rodney Dangerfield [Jacob Cohen]
(1921—2004) American comedian.
Being serious — speaking of his early life with
a philandering father and distant mother.

The first half of our lives is ruined by our
parents and the second half by our children.
--Clarence Darrow (1857—1938)
American lawyer.

Those who in their youth did not live in self-harmony,
and who did not gain the true treasures of life, are
later like long-legged old herons standing sadly by a
lake without fish.
--_The Dhammapada_,
Buddhist scripture.

-

We spend the first twelve months of our children's
lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next
twelve years telling them to sit down and shut up.
--Phyllis Diller (1917— )
American comedian.


Always be nice to your children because they
are the ones who will choose your rest home.
--Phyllis Diller (1917— )
American comedian.

-

[Rufus T. Firefly (Groucho Marx):]
Clear? Huh! Why, a four-year-old child could understand
this report. Run out and find me a four-year-old child . I
can't make head or tail out of it.
--"Duck Soup" [1933 film]
Screenplay by Bert Kalmar and Harry Ruby.

A child is a curly, dimpled lunatic.
--Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803—1882)
American philosopher and poet.

If you are too busy to spend time with your children
then you are busier than God intended you to be.
--Rabbi Mendel Epstein, in 1996

Oh! To be a child again. My only treasures, bits
of shell and stone and glass. To love nothing but
maple sugar. To fear nothing but a big dog. To go
to sleep without dreading the morrow. To wake
up with a shout. Not to have seen a dead face.
Not to dread a living one. To be able to *believe*.
--Fanny Fern [Sarah Willis] (1811—1872)
American newspaper columnist.
_Ginger-Snaps_ [1870]

The little toy dog is covered with dust,
But sturdy and staunch he stands;
And the little toy soldier is red with rust,
And his musket molds in his hands;
Time was when the little toy dog was new,
And the soldier was passing fair;
And that was the time when our Little Boy Blue
Kissed them and put them there.
--Eugene Field (1850—1895)
American journalist and writer of children's verse.
_Little Boy Blue_, Stanza 1

-

Madam, there's no such thing as a tough child — if
you parboil them first for seven hours, they always
come out tender.
--W. C. Fields [William Claude Dukenfield]
(1880—1946) American vaudeville star and film actor.


[When asked whether he liked children:]
I do if they're properly cooked!
--W. C. Fields [William Claude Dukenfield]
(1880—1946) American vaudeville star and film actor.
_Fields for President_, ch. 7 [1940]


Children should neither be seen
nor heard from — ever again.
--attributed to W. C. Fields [William Claude Dunkenfield]
(1880—1946) American comedian.


You kids are disgusting, skulking around here
all day, reeking of popcorn and lollipops.
--W. C. Fields [William Claude Dukenfield]
(1880—1946) American vaudeville star and film actor.
Lines spoken by Larsen E. Whipsnade (Fields) in the
1939 film, "You Can't Cheat an Honest Man."

-

He and Evie soon fell into a conversation of the 'No, I didn't;
yes, you did' type — conversation which, though fascinating
to those who are engaged in it, neither desires nor deserves
the attention of others.
--E.M. [Edward Morgan] Forster (1879—1970)
English novelist.
_Howards End_ [1910]

Let thy child's first lesson be Obedience,
and the second will be what thou wilt.
--Benjamin Franklin (1706—1790)
American politician, inventor, and scientist.
_Poor Richard's Almanack_ [1739]

There is not so much comfort in the having of
children as there is sorrow in parting with them.
--Thomas Fuller (1654—1734)
English writer and physician.
_Gnomologia_ [1732]

The law of love could be best understood and learned
through little children.
--Mohandas K. Gandhi (1869—1948)
Indian statesman and leader of the nationalistic
movement against British rule.
(In Richard Attenborough's _The Words of Gandhi_ [1982], "Daily Life")

You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them,
but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.
You are the bows from which your children
as living arrows are sent forth.
--Kahlil Gibran (1883—1931)
Lebanese poet.
_The Prophet_ "On Children" [1923]

Children are like wet cement. Whatever
falls on them makes an impression.
--Haim Ginott (1922—1973)
Israeli-born teacher and author of parenting books.

We can't form our children on our own concepts;
we must take them and love them as God gives
them to us.
--Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1749—1832)
German poet, novelist, and playwright.
_Hermann and Dorothea_ [1797]

When our kids are young, many of us rush out
to buy a cute little baby book to record the
meaningful events of our young child's life. . .
But I've often thought there should be a second
book, one with room to record the moral milestones
of our child's life. There might be space to record
dates she first shared or showed compassion or
befriended a new student or thought of sending
Grandma a get-well card or told the truth despite
its cost.
--Fred G. Gosman
American author.

Wherever there is authority, there is
a natural inclination to disobedience.
--Thomas C. Haliburton (1796—1865)
Canadian politician, judge, and writer who was best known as the
creator of the literary character, Sam Slick.

Delusions are often functional. A mother's opinions about her
children's beauty, intelligence, goodness, et cetera ad nauseam,
keep her from drowning them at birth.
--Robert Heinlein (1907—1988)
American science-fiction writer.
_Time Enough for Love_ [1973]

Of a good beginning cometh a good end.
--John Heywood (1497—1580)
English playwright.
_Proverbs_ [1546], Part I, Chapter 10

If I were to choose among all gifts and qualities that which,
on the whole, makes life pleasantest, I should select the
love of children. No circumstance can render this world
wholly a solitude to one who has this possession.
--Thomas Wentworth Higginson (1823—1911)
American abolitionist and writer.

Don't take up a man's time talking about the smartness of
your children; he wants to talk to you about the smartness
of his children.
--Edgar Watson Howe (1854—1937)
American journalist and author.

Little boys may be an intolerable nuisance; but when
they are not there we regret them, we find ourselves
homesick for their very intolerableness.
--Aldous Huxley (1894—1963)
English novelist {grandson of T.H. Huxley}.
_Beyond the Mexique Bay_

The proper time to influence the
character of a child is about a
hundred years before his is born.
--William Ralph Inge (1860—1954)
English writer and Dean of St. Paul's [1911—1934].

It was the policy of the good old gentleman to make his
children feel that home was the happiest place in the world,
and I value this delicious home-feeling as one of the choicest
gifts a parent could bestow.
--Washington Irving (1783—1859)
American author, essayist, and travel book writer.
_The Sketch Book of Geoffrey Crayon, Gent_ [1819—1820]

Your children need your presence
more than your presents.
--Jesse Jackson (1941— )
American Democratic politician and clergyman.

Allow children to be happy in their own way,
for what better way will they ever find?
--Samuel Johnson (1709—1784)
English poet, critic, and lexicographer.
[1780 letter]

Of all the pestilences dire,
Including famine, flood, and fire;
By Satan and his imps rehearsed,
The neighbors' children are the worst.
--Stoddard King (1889—1933)
American humorist and author.
_Philosophy for Parents_

I never hear parents exclaim impatiently, "Children, you
must not make so much noise," that I do not think how
soon the time may come when those parents would
give all the world, could they hear once more the
ringing laughter which once so disturbed them.
--Abbott E. Kittredge (1834—1912)
English clergyman.

It is . . . sometimes easier to head an institute
for the study of child guidance than it is to turn
one brat into a decent human being.
--Joseph Wood Krutch (1893—1970)
American critic and naturalist.

What its children become, that will the community become.
--Suzanne LaFollette (1893—1983)
Ameican editor and author.
_Concerning Women_ "Woman and Marriage" [1926]

Lawyers, I suppose, were children once.
--Charles Lamb (1775—1834)
English essayist.
_Essays of Elia_ "The Old Benchers of the Inner Termple" [1823]

Few things are more satisfying than seeing
your children have teenagers of their own.
--attributed to Doug Larson (1902—1981)
American journalist.

The parent who could see his boy as he
really is, would shake his head and say:
'Willie is no good; I'll sell him.'
--Stephen Butler Leacock (1869—1944)
Canadian humorist.
_Essays and Literary Studies_ [1916]
"The Lot of the Schoolmaster"

Notoriously insensitive to subtle shifts in moods,
children will persist in discussing the color of
a recently sighted cement mixer long after one's
interest in the topic has waned.
--Fran Lebowitz (1946— )
American humorist.

-

Insanity is hereditary — you get it from your children.
--Sam Levenson (1911—1980)
American humorist.
In "Diner's Club Magazine" [November 1963].


The reason grandparents and grandchildren get
along so well is that they have a common enemy.
--Sam Levenson (1911—1980)
American humorist.

-

I would not have children much beaten for their faults,
because I would not have them think bodily pain the
greatest punishment.
--John Locke (1632—1704)
English political and educational philosopher.

-

Ah! what would the world be to us
If the children were no more?
We should dread the desert behind us
Worse than the dark before.
--Henry Wadsworth Longfellow (1807—1882)
American poet.
"Children" St. 4,
in _The Courtship of Miles Standish and Other Poems_ [1859].


A torn jacket is soon mended; but hard
words bruise the heart of a child.
--Henry Wadsworth Longfellow (1807—1882)
American poet.
"Table-Talk", Driftwood [1857]


I hear in the chamber above me
The patter of little feet.
--Henry Wadsworth Longfellow (1807—1882)
American poet.
"The Children's Hour" st. 2 [1859]

-

The hearts of small children are delicate organs.
A cruel beginning in this world can twist them
into curious shapes. The heart of a hurt child
can shrink so that forever afterward it is hard
and pitted as the seed of a peach. Or, again,
the heart of such a child may fester and swell
until it is misery to carry within the body,
easily chafed and hurt by the most ordinary
things.
--Carson Smith McCullers (1917—1967)
American author.
_The Ballad of the Sad Cafι_

I love children, especially when they cry,
because then someone takes them away.
--Nancy Mitford (1904—1973)
English writer.
_The Water Beetle_, pt. 2, ch. 8 [1962]

We must take note that the games of children are not
games in their eyes ; and we must regard these as their
most serious actions.
--Michel Eyquem de Montaigne (1533—1592)
French moralist and essayist.
_Essais_ (Essays), liv. I. c. 22, [pub. 1580—1588]

We've had bad luck with our
kids — they've all grown up.
--Christopher Morley (1890—1957)
American journalist, novelist, and poet.

The surest way to corrupt a youth is to instruct
him to hold in higher esteem those who think alike
than those who think differently.
--Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche (1844—1900)
German classical scholar, philosopher, and critic of culture.

-

Children Learn What They Live

If a child lives with criticism,
He learns to condemn.
If a child lives with hostility,
He learns to fight.
If a child lives with ridicule,
He learns to be shy.
If a child lives with shame,
He learns to feel guilty.
If a child lives with tolerance,
He learns to be patient.
If a child lives with encouragement,
He learns confidence.
If a child lives with praise,
He learns to appreciate.
If a child lives with fairness,
He learns justice.
If a child lives with security,
He learns to have faith.
If a child lives with approval,
He learns to like himself.
If a child lives with acceptance and friendship,
He learns to find love in the world.

--Dorothy Law Nolte (1924—2005)
PhD; parenting expert and author.

-

If you bungle raising your children, I don't think
whatever else you do well matters very much.
--Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis (1929—1994)
Wife of President John F. Kennedy.

-

Never raise your hand to your children.
It leaves your midsection unprotected.
--Robert Orben (1927— )
American magician and comedy writer.


I take my children everywhere, but they
always find their way back home.
--Robert Orben (1927— )
American magician and comedy writer.

-

Explain the concept of death very carefully to your
child. This will make threatening him with it much
more effective.
--P.J. O'Rourke (1947— )
American political satirist.

The weakness of the child is that it starts with a blank
slate. It neither understands nor questions the society
in which it lives, and because of its credulity other
people can work on it, infecting it with the sense of
inferiority and the dread of offending against
mysterious, terrible laws.
--George Orwell [Eric Blair] (1903—1950)
English novelist.

-

kap shares with USENET
some thoughts on kids:

The New York kids are going home tonight. Did I tell you about them?
Don't think so. One of the tenants downstairs is a retired nurse from
Brooklyn. When she came back from New York in July, she brought
her 3 great-grandchildren with her. They are good kids who grew
up in Bedford-Stuyvesant — similar to Harlem if you are not
familiar. The oldest are 13 and 11 so we went to the park a few
times to play basketball. On Friday we played box ball (a New
York game) and had a lot of fun. Afterwards, on the way home,
Desmond saw the sky (a brilliant orange-red) with the sun setting
over the mountains, and said "You never see a sky like that in
Brooklyn," and then after a one second hesitation, added, "unless
someone punches you in the eye." Maybe you had to be there, but
I found it a very profound, sad statement. If I still lived in New York,
I would probably find these kids threatening in a couple of years,
but, out here, they were fun to be with. Prejudices die hard.

-

Men are generally more careful of the breed of their
horses and dogs than of their children.
--William Penn (1644—1718)
Quaker leader and advocate of religious
freedom who oversaw the founding of
the American Commonwealth of
Pennsylvania as a refuge for Quakers
and other religious minorities of Europe {E.B.}.
_Some Fruits of Solitude_ [1693]

Nature makes boys and girls lovely to look upon so they
can be tolerated until they acquire some sense.
--William L. Phelps (1865—1943)
American educator, journalist, and man of letters.

The beginning is the most important part of any
work, especially in the case of a young and tender
thing; for that is the time at which the character
is being formed and the desired impression is more
readily taken.
--Plato (427?—347 B.C.)
Greek philosopher.
_The Republic_

-

One summer, when I was eight, my folks and some
relatives rented cabins at Sag Harbor on Long
Island. I was outside by myself playing mumblety-
peg, trying to make the knife stick into the ground,
when a piece of dirt flew up and lodged under my eyelid.

I ran crying into the cabin, where my Aunt Laurice
managed to get the irritant out, while I continued
bawling. When I went back outside, I overheard her
say to Aunt Gytha, "I don't know about that boy.
He's such a crybaby."

It stung me then, and the fact that I vividly
remember the incident almost fifty years later
suggests my youthful devastation. I remember
thinking, nobody's ever going to see me cry again.
I did not always make it.

--Colin L. Powell (1937— )
Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff [1989—1993]
and Secretary of State [2001—2005].
_My American Journey_ [1995], "Luther and Arie's Son"

-

^^

Terry Pratchett (1948— )
English science fiction writer, revisits Hansel and Gretel
in this exerpt in _The Light Fantastic_:

[begin snippet — inside the Gingerbread house]

"Have a bit more table," said Rincewind.

"No thanks, I don't like marzipan," said Twoflower.
"Anyway, I'm sure it's not right to eat other people's
furniture."

"Don't worry," said Swires. "The old witch hasn't
been seen for years. They say she was done up
good and proper by a couple of young tearaways."

"Kids of today," commented Rincewind.

"I blame the parents," said Twoflower.

^^

Suppose Bobby Jones or Mozart had not been allowed to
begin his music or his golf until the other children
did, or to practice or progress faster, or had only
the instruction of a school class in music or physical
education. Suppose they had been kept from playing with
older children or adults in the fear that they might
become socially maladjusted, kept from associating much
with older musicians or golfers because that would be
narrowing and undemocratic. Kept from public performance
or tournaments because that would be exploiting the child!
It surely may be questioned whether they would then have
reached the prominence they did. Abuses in the afore-
mentioned directions are, of course, possible. But, it
is also an abuse to withhold opportunities from precocious
youngsters who are eager to advance and excel.
--Sidney L. Pressey,
"Scientific Monthly" [September 1955]

I would be most content if my children grew up to be the kind of
people who think decorating consists mostly of building enough
bookshelves.
--Anna Quindlen (1952— )
American writer.
_Enough Bookshelves_, "New York Times" [7 August 1991]

A child is not a vase to be filled,
but a fire to be lit.
--Franηois Rabelais (c. 1494— c. 1553]
French humanist, satirist, and physician.

The world is not always a kind place. That's
something all children learn for themselves,
whether we want them to or not, but it's
something they really need our help to
understand.
--Fred Rogers (1928—2003)
Host of "Mister Rogers' Neighborhood" [1968-2001].
"New York Times" [28 February 2003]

-

-

They say an old man is twice a child.
--William Shakespeare (1564—1616)
English dramatist.
_Hamlet_ [1600—1601], act ii, sc.ii


How sharper than a serpent's tooth it is
To have a thankless child!
--William Shakespeare (1564—1616)
English dramatist.
_King Lear_, act 1, sc. 4 [1605—1606]

-

[When Isadora Duncan regretted that they could
not have a child together, saying, 'Think what a
child it would be with my body and your brains':]
I know, but suppose the child was so unlucky as
to have my body and your brain?
--George Bernard Shaw (1856—1950)
Irish dramatist and critic.
Quoted in Lewis Copeland and Faye Copeland
_10,000 Jokes, Toasts & Stories_ [1939].

Listen to the mustn't, child,
listen to the don'ts,
listen to the shouldn'ts,
the impossibles, the won'ts,
listen to the never haves,
then listen close to me —
anything can happen, child.
Anything can be.
--Shel Silverstein (1930—1999)
Ameican poet and songwriter.

All good qualities in a child are the
result of environment, while all the
bad ones are the result of poor
heredity on the side of the other
parent.
--Elinor Goulding Smith,
_The Complete Book of Absolutely Perfect Baby and Child Care_ [1957]

The defects of children mirror the
defects of their parents.
--Herbert Spencer (1820—1903)
English philosopher.
_Education: Intellectual, Moral, and Physical_, ch. III "Moral Education" [1862]

-

A child should always say what's true,
And speak when he is spoken to;
And behave mannerly at table,
At least as far as he is able.
--Robert Louis Stevenson (1850—1894)
Scottish essayist, poet, and novelist.
_A Child's Garden of Verses_ [1885],
"Whole Duty of Children"


And perhaps, after all, it is better that the
lad should break his neck than that you
should break his spirit.
--Robert Louis Stevenson (1850—1894)
Scottish essayist, poet, and novelist.
"The Amateur Emigrant"

-

I have been assured by a very knowing American of my acquaintance in
London, that a young healthy child, well nursed, is at a Year old a most
delicious, nourishing, and wholesome Food, whether stewed, roasted,
baked, or boiled, and I make no doubt that it will equally serve in a
Fricassee, or a Ragout.
--Jonathan Swift (1667—1745)
Anglo-Irish poet and satirist.
"A Modest Proposal for Preventing the Children of Poor People
from Being a Burden to Their Parents or the Country, and for
Making Them Beneficial to the Public" [1729].

Each day of our lives we make deposits
in the memory banks of our children.
--Charles R. Swindoll (1934— )
American evanegelical Christian pastor.
"The Strong Family"

Every child comes with the message that
God is not yet tired of the man.
--Rabindranath Tagore (1861—1941)
Bengali poet, short-story writer, song composer,
playwright, and painter who won the 1913
Nobel Prize for Literature.

Don't threaten a child; either
punish or forgive him.
--Talmud (A.D.1st-6th cent.)
Rabbinical writings.

If you raise your children to feel that they can
accomplish any goal or task they decide upon, you
will have succeeded as a parent and you will have
given your children the greatest of all blessings.
--Brian Tracy
Canadian-born American motivational author.

-

I have found the best way to give advice to your children is
to find out what they want, and then advise them to do it.
--Harry S. Truman (1884—1972)
American Democratic statesman, President of the U.S. [1945—1953].
Television interview by Edward R. Murrow [27 May 1955].


Familiarity breeds contempt — and children.
--Mark Twain [Samuel Langhorne Clemens] (1835—1910)
American humorist, novelist, journalist, and river pilot.
"2 February 1894" _Mark Twain's Notebook_

-

Young people are more hopeful at a certain age than adults, but
I suspect that's glandular. As for children, I keep as far from them
as possible. I don't like the sight of them. The scale is all wrong.
The heads tend to be too big for the bodies, and the hands and
feet are a disaster. They keep falling into things. The nakedness
of their bad character! We adults have learned how to disguise
our terrible character, but children, well, they are like grotesque
drawings of us. They should be neither seen nor heard, and no
one must make another one.
--Gore Vidal (1925— )
American writer.

There are no illegitimate children, only illegitimate parents.
--Lιon R. Yankwich (1888—1975)
Rumanian-born American judge.
Quoted in "L.A. Times" [9 August 1928].

-

Mother to Basil Fawlty, about obnoxious son:
"He's very highly strung."
Basil: "Yes, yes, he should be!"

Bad manners are the fault of the parent, not the child.
--Gul Dukat (Marc Alaimo)
"Star Trek: Deep Space Nine", "Things Past"

Sadjita, who is about 5, piped up and said she
wanted to be a martyr when she grows up.
--"New York Times" [c. 2003]

Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat
word for word what you shouldn't have said.
--anon.

-

---

Questions concerning love and wisdom were posed to a group of
children (Ages 5 to 10). Their responses were amazingly astute
and very enlightening, thus proving that all we need to know we
probably learned in kindergarten.

WHAT IS THE PROPER AGE TO GET MARRIED?

"Eighty-four. Because at that age, you don't have to work anymore,
and you can spend all your time loving each other in your bedroom.
(Judy, 8)

"Once I'm done with kindergarten, I'm going to find me a wife." (Tommy, 5)


WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE?

"On the first date, they just tell each other lies, and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date." (Mike, 10)


WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE?

"You should never kiss a girl unless you have enough bucks to buy her a big ring of her own, and a VCR 'cause she'll want to have videos of the wedding." (Jim, 10)

"Never kiss in front of other people. It's a big embarrassing thing if anybody sees you. But if nobody sees you, I might be willing to try with a handsome boy, but just for a few hours." (Kally, 9)


THE GREAT DEBATE: IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED?

"It's better for girls to be single, but not for boys. Boys need somebody to clean up after them."(Lynette, 9)

"It gives me a headache to think about that stuff. I'm just a kid. I don't need that kind of trouble." (Kenny, 7)


CONCERNING WHY LOVE HAPPENS BETWEEN TWO PEOPLE:

"No one is sure why it happens, but I heard it has something to do with how you smell. That's why perfume and deodorant are so popular." (Jan, 9)

"I think you're supposed to get shot with an arrow or something, but the rest of it isn't supposed to be so painful." (Harlen, 8)


ON WHAT FALLING IN LOVE IS LIKE:

"Like an avalanche where you have to run for your life." (Roger, 9)

"If falling in love is anything like learning to spell, I don't want to do it. It takes to long to learn." (Leo, 7)


ON THE ROLE OF GOOD LOOKS IN LOVE AND ROMANCE:

"If you want to be loved by somebody who isn't already in your family, it doesn't hurt to be beautiful." (Jeanne, 8)

"It isn't always just how you look. Look at me. I'm handsome like anything and I haven't got anybody to marry me yet." (Gary, 7)

"Beauty is skin deep. But how rich you are can last a long time." (Christine, 9)


CONCERNING WHY LOVERS OFTEN HOLD HANDS:

"They want to make sure their rings don't fall off, because they paid good money for them." (David, 8)


CONFIDENTIAL OPINIONS ABOUT LOVE:

"I'm in favor of love as long as it doesn't happen when 'The Simpsons' are on TV." (Anita, 6)

"Love will find you, even if you are trying to hide from it. I've been trying to hide from it since I was five, but the girls keep finding me." (Bobby, 8)

"I'm not rushing into being in love. I'm finding fourth grade hard enough." (Regina, 10)


PERSONAL QUALITIES NECESSARY TO BE A GOOD LOVER:

"One of you should know how to write a check. Because, even if you have tons of love, there is still going to be a lot of bills." (Ava, 8)


SOME SUREFIRE WAYS TO MAKE A PERSON FALL IN LOVE WITH YOU:

"Tell them that you own a whole bunch of candy stores." (Del, 6)

"Don't do things like have smelly, green sneakers. You might get attention, but attention ain't the same thing as love." (Alonzo, 9)

"One way is to take the girl out to eat. Make sure it's something she likes to eat. French fries usually works for me." (Bart, 9)


HOW CAN YOU TELL IF TWO ADULTS EATING DINNER AT A RESTAURANT ARE IN LOVE?

"Just see if the man picks up the check. That's how you can tell if he's in love." (John, 9)

"Lovers will just be staring at each other and their food will get cold. Other people care more about the food," (Brad, 8)

"It's love if they order one of those desserts that are on fire. They like to order those because it's just like their hearts are... on fire." (Christine, 9)


WHAT MOST PEOPLE ARE THINKING WHEN THEY SAY, "I LOVE YOU":

"The person is thinking: Yeah, I really do love him, but I hope he showers at least once a day." (Michelle, 9)


HOW A PERSON LEARNS TO KISS:

"You learn it right on the spot, when the gooshy feelings get the best of you." (Doug, 7)

"It might help if you watched soap operas all day." (Carin, 9)


WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE?

"It's never okay to kiss a boy. They always slobber all over you...that's why I stopped doing it." (Jean, 10)


HOW TO MAKE LOVE ENDURE:

"Spend most of your time loving instead of going to work." (Tom, 7)

"Don't forget your wife's name...that will mess up the love." (Roger, 8)

"Be a good kisser. It might make your wife forget that you never take the trash out." (Randy, 8)

---

contumacy (noun)
1. Defiance of authority: flagrant disobedience or rebelliousness
2. Refusal to submit to court's authority: persistent refusal to appear in court or to obey a court order without good reason

egregious (adj.)
Outrageously bad: bad, blatant, or ridiculous
to an extraordinary degree

foundling [FOWND-ling], noun:
A deserted or abandoned infant; a child
found without a parent or caretaker.

obstreperous [uhb-STREP-uhr-uhs; ob-], adjective:
1. Noisily and stubbornly defiant; unruly.
2. Noisy, clamorous, or boisterous.

precocious (adj.)
Mentally advanced for age: developed or mature, especially
mentally, at an unusually early age, or showing such advanced
development

primogeniture [pry-moh-JEN-ih-choor], noun:
1. The state of being the firstborn of the same parents;
seniority by birth among children of the same family.
2. (Law) An exclusive right of inheritance that belongs
to the eldest son.

puerile (adj.) ['pwe-rκl or 'pwe-rIl]
Related to early childhood; juvenile, childish, immature.

refractory
ih-FRAK-tuh-ree, adjective:
1. Stubbornly disobedient; unmanageable.
2. Resisting ordinary treatment or cure.
Ex.: It's a head shot of Lucien Bouchard peering out of the
dark, openmouthed, teeth showing, eyes glittering and
appearing not to have shaved in a week. In another age,
the shot might have been held up to a refractory kid with
the warning, 'The boogeyman will get you if you don't
watch out.'
--George Bain, "Whose Reality?"
_Time_, [13 October 1997]

restive RES-tiv, adjective:
1. Impatient under restriction, delay, coercion, or
opposition; resisting control.
2. Unwilling to go on; obstinate in refusing to move
forward; stubborn.

scion (noun)
A younger member of family: a child or descendant of a
family, especially a rich, famous, or important family.

wunderkind [VOON-duhr-kint], noun; plural wunderkinder
1. A child prodigy.
2. One who achieves great success or acclaim at an early age.


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