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 . . . CAREFREE see "HAPPINESS" for related links Alas! regardless of their doom, The little victims play; No sense have they of ills to come, Nor care beyond to-day. --Thomas Gray (1716—1771) English poet. _On a Distant Prospect of Eton College_, st. 6 Faith and my name is Kelly Michael Kelly, But I'm living the life of Reilly just the same. --Harry Pease (fl. 1919) Songwriter. "My Name is Kelly" [1919 song] ----- blithe (adj.) Happy, cheerful, and carefree idyll [EYE-dl], noun: 1. A simple descriptive work, either in poetry or prose, dealing with simple, rustic life; pastoral scenes; and the like. 2. A narrative poem treating an epic, romantic, or tragic theme. 3. A lighthearted carefree episode or experience. 4. A romantic interlude. Sheep are not the docile, pleasant creatures of the pastoral idyll. Any countryman will tell you that. They are sly, occasionally vicious, pathologically stupid. --Joanne Harris, _Chocolata_ insouciant (adjective) Having no cares or anxieties; light-hearted; carefree. Syn.: happy-go-lucky, lighthearted, carefree Related: giddy, nonchalant Derived: insouciance, n.; insouciantly, adv. raffish (adj.) ['ræ-fish] 1. Vulgar in taste, appearance, dissolute in behavior; rakish or 2. Dashing, carefree or unconventionally fun-loving; rakish.   CAREFUL . . see: "CAUTION" see: "PRUDENCE" Make haste slowly. --Augustus [Gaius Octavius] (63 B.C.—14 A.D.) The first Roman emperor. In _Lives of the Caesars_ [c.121] by Gaius Suetonius Tranquillus. You got to be careful if you don't know where you're going, because you might not get there. --Yogi Berra (1925— ) American baseball player and manager; elected to the Hall of Fame in 1972. ^^ Carol Burnett (1934— ) American actress Climbing out of a cab one day, Miss Burnett inadvertently caught her coat in the door. As the driver continued on his way, unaware of the accident, the comedienne was obliged to run alongside the moving vehicle to avoid being pulled off her feet. A quick-thinking passerby, noticing her plight, hailed the cab and alerted the driver. Having realeased Miss Burnett's coat, the driver asked her anxiously, "Are you all right?" "Yes," she replied, still gasping for breath, "but how much more do I owe you?" --_Bartlett's Book of Anecdotes_ edited by Clifton Fadiman and André Bernard [2000 ed.] ^^ Beware the Jabberwock, my son! The jaws that bite, the claws that catch! Beware the Jubjub bird, and shun. The frumious Bandersnatch! --Lewis Carroll [Charles Lutwidge Dodgson] (1832—1898) English writer and logician. _Thorough the Looking-Glass_, ch. I [1872] He that will not sail till all dangers are over must never put to sea. --Thomas Fuller (1654—1734) English writer and physician. Comp., _Gnomologia: Adages and Proverbs_ [1732] Do not bite at the bait of pleasure till you know there is no hook beneath it. --Thomas Jefferson (1743—1826) American statesman and president [1801—1809]. Letter to Maria Cosway [12 October 1786]. Chance generally favors the prudent. --Joseph Joubert (1754—1824) French philosopher. You are young and have the world before you; stoop as you go through it, and you will miss many hard bumps. --Cotton Mather (1663—1728) American Congregational minister and author. Advice to Benjamin Franklin upon approaching a low hanging beam in his parsonage. Wisely and slow; they stumble that run fast. --William Shakespeare (1564—1616) English dramatist. _Romeo and Juliet_, act II, scene iii [1595—1596] There's a snake hidden in the grass. --Virgil (70—19 B.C.) Roman poet. _Eclogues_, no. 3, l. 93 ----- fastidious (adj.) 1. Exceedingly particular or demanding esp. in matters of detail; exacting. Syn.: picky, persnickety, exacting, finicky, Cr.Syn.: careful, particular Similar: hypercritical, choosy, particular, demanding, captious, fussy, meticulous 2. Excessively sensitive or delicate in matters of food, manners, dress, or personal hygiene. Syn.: squeamish Similar: sensitive, fussy Related: prim, precise, critical, finicky, exact, conscientious Derived: fastidiously, adverb; fastidiousness, noun meticulous [muh-TIK-yuh-luhs], adjective: Extremely or excessively careful about details. persnickety (adj.) 1. Fussy or demanding. Syn.: particular, fussy, fastidious Similar: squeamish, picky, hypercritical, exacting, finicky, 2. Requiring painstaking care of detail. Synonyms: particular Similar: nitpicking, meticulous, fussy, exacting, punctilious Derived: persnicketiness, n. punctilious (adj.) [pêngk-'ti-lee-ês] Strict about or attentive to details of proper conduct and conventional matters. Similar to "meticulous," but the two are not interchangeable. "Meticulous" means careful and precise about details. "Punctilious" adds the dimension of being careful and precise about the details of conventional conduct. solicitous [suh-LIS-uh-tuhs], adjective: 1. Manifesting or expressing care or concern. 2. Full of anxiety or concern; apprehensive. 3. Extremely careful; meticulous. 4. Full of desire; eager. ;void(0)) CARELESS . . see: "NEGLECT" Carelessness does more harm than a want of knowledge. --attributed to Benjamin Franklin (1706—1790) American politician, inventor, and scientist. They were careless people, Tom and Daisy — they smashed up things and creatures and then retreated back into their money or their vast carelessness, or whatever it was that kept them together, and let other people clean up the mess they had made. --F. Scott Fitzgerald (1896—1940) American novelist. _The Great Gatsby_, ch. 9 [1925] The consul called the troops an army who had betrayed military discipline and deserted its standards. He then asked them individually where their weapons were, or their standards, as the case might be, and gave orders that every soldier who had lost his equipment, every standard-bearer who had lost his standard, every centurion, too, who had abandoned his post, should be first flogged and then beheaded. The remainder were decimated. --Livy [Titus Livius] (59 BC—17 AD) with Sallust and Tacitus, one of the three great Roman historians [EB]. _The History of Rome_, in M.J. Cohan and John Major {eds.} _History in Quotations_ [2004] Cohan & Major note that: This is the earliest (471 BC) recorded example of decimation, the selection by lot of every tenth man for execution. It is probably an instance of the creation of an early precedent for a later practice. It was rarely carried out but was revived at the end of the Republic and used from time to time by emperors. Carelessness about our security is dangerous; carelessness about our freedom is also dangerous. --Adlai E. Stevenson (1900—1965) American Democratic politician Childish, imbecile carelessness is enough to render any man poor, without the aid of a single positive vice. --Francis Wayland, D.D. (1796—1865) Baptist minister, President of Brown University, professor of moral philosophy, and author. We flatter those we scarcely know, We please the fleeting guest; And deal full many a thoughtless blow, To those who love us best. --Ella Wheeler Wilcox (1850—1919) American author and poet. _Life's Scars_ - We can imagine no reason why, with ordinary care, human toes could not be left out of chewing tobacco, and if toes are found in chewing tobacco, it seems to us that somebody has been very careless. --Pillars vs. R. J. Reynolds Tobacco Co. [1918] ----- cursory [KUR-suh-ree], adjective: Hastily or superficially performed. Ex.: "On most days, however, she confined her daily reading to a cursory scan of two or three newspapers." --James A. Drake, _Rosa Ponselle: A Centenary Biography_ ;void(0)) CARING . . see "KINDNESS" for related links It is a general error to imagine the loudest complainers for the public to be the most anxious for its welfare. --Edmund Burke (1729—1797) Irish-born Whig politician and man of letters. Observations on a publication entitled "The Present State of the Nation" [1769] Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around. --Leo [Felice Leonardo] Buscaglia (1925—1998) American professor and author of inspirational books. _Born For Love: Reflections on Loving_ [1992] UNLESS someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better. It's not. --Theodor Seuss Geisel [Dr. Seuss] (1904—1991) American writer and illustrator of children's books. _The Lorax_ [1971] Yet, taught by time, my heart has learned to glow for other's good, and melt at other's woe. --Homer (c. 850? BC) Greek epic poet. There is nothing we like to see so much as the gleam of pleasure in a person's eye when he feels that we have sympathized with him, understood him, interested ourself in his welfare. At these moments something fine and spiritual passes between two friends. These moments are the moments worth living. --Don Marquis (1878—1937) American poet and journalist. I wish I could care what you do or where you go but I can't . . . My dear, I don't give a damn. --Margaret Mitchell (1900—1949) American novelist. _Gone with the Wind_ [1936] (Spoken by Rhett Butler in ch. 57.) - Not long ago, one of the nationally known picture magazines had a photograph of a man prostrate on subway stairs. For thirty minutes many people passed him by without ever a helping hand. The editorial comment was about the coldness of the modern man in the face of distress. What was forgotten was that the photographer of the picture magazine did nothing for thirty minutes for the afflicted individual except to snap pictures and make his own living. --Fulton John Sheen (1895—1979) Roman Catholic bishop; the first popular preacher to appear on television. _On Being Human_ [1982] - I didn't think I'd ever need a friend because I had him . . .The only person who ever really cared if I lived or died. Lots of people were interested in whether I lived or died, but he cared. --Ruth, a character in Toni Morrison _Song Of Solomon_ [1987], Ch. 5 ----- solicitous [suh-LIS-uh-tuhs], adjective: 1. Manifesting or expressing care or concern. 2. Full of anxiety or concern; apprehensive. 3. Extremely careful; meticulous. 4. Full of desire; eager. . . see: "TODAY" see "LIFE" for other related links see "TIME" for other related links But men must know that in this theater of man's life it is reserved only for God and the angels to be lookers on. --Francis Bacon (1561—1626) English philosopher and essayist. Whether it's the best of times or the worst of times, it's the only time we've got. --Art Buchwald (1925—2007) American journalist and humorist who won the 1982 Pulitzer Prize for Outstanding Commentary. The secret of health for both mind and body is not to mourn for the past, not to worry about the future, or not to anticipate troubles, but to live in the present moment wisely and earnestly. --Buddha [Gautama] (c. 6th—4th century B.C.) Founder of Buddhism. When you're younger, you want to be sure that by the time you're eighty years old you can sit on the bench and look back and say, "Man, I did it all. I didn't miss a thing." --Bill Cosby (1937— ) American comedian. ^^ I read _The Times_ and if my name is not in the obits I proceed to enjoy the day. --attributed to Noël Coward (1899—1973) English playwright, actor, and composer. --_The Folio Book of Humorous Anecdotes_ Introduced by Edward Leeson [2005], "Death" ^^ Dream as if you'll live forever. Live as if you'll die today. --James Dean (1931—1955) American film actor. Happy the man, and happy he alone, He, who can call to-day his own: He who, secure within, can say, Tomorrow do thy worst, for I have lived today. --John Dryden (1631—1700) English poet, critic, and dramatist. (Translation of Horace's _Odes_, bk. 3 # 29.) The greatest gift . . . is the realization that life does not consist either of wallowing in the past or of peering anxiously at the future; and it is appalling to contemplate the great number of often painful steps by which one arrives at a truth so old, so obvious, and so frequently expressed. It is good for one to appreciate that life is now. Whatever it offers, little or much, life is now — this day — this hour. --Charles Macomb Flandrau (1871—1938) American writer. One ought, every day at least, to hear a little song, read a good poem, see a fine picture, and if it were possible, to speak a few reasonable words. --Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1749—1832) German poet, novelist, and playwright. _Wilhelm Meisters Lehrjahre_ (Wilhelm Meister's Apprenticeship), bk. 5, ch. I [1795—1796] Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; It is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable. --Sydney J. Harris (1917—1986) American journalist. - 'Carpe diem, quam minimum credula postero.' Seize the day, put no trust in the future. --Horace [Quintus Horatius Flaccus] (65—8 BC) Roman poet. _Odes_, bk. I, # 11, l. 7 Cease to inquire what the future has in store, and to take as a gift whatever the day brings forth. --Horace [Quintus Horatius Flaccus] (65—8 BC) Roman poet. _Carmina_ I. 9. 13. - There are many fine things which you mean to do some day, under what you think will be more favorable circumstances. But the only time that is surely yours is the present, hence this is the time to speak the word of appreciation and sympathy, to do the generous deed, to forgive the fault of a thoughtless friend, to sacrifice self a little more for others. Today is the day in which to express your noblest qualities of mind and heart, to do at least one worthy thing which you have long postponed, and to use your God-given abilities for the enrichment of some less fortunate fellow traveler. Today you can make your life ...significant and worthwhile. The present is yours to do with it as you will. --Grenville Kleiser (1868—1953) American writer of humor and inspiration. Life, we learn too late, is in the living, in the tissue of each day and hour. --Stephen Butler Leacock (1869—1944) Canadian humorist. Live not as though there were a thousand years ahead of you. Fate is at your elbow; make yourself good while life and power are still yours. --Marcus Aurelius Antoninus (121—180) Roman emperor [161—180] and Stoic philosopher. An occasional glance at the obituary column of _The Times_ has suggested to me that the sixties are very unhealthy; I have long thought that it would exasperate me to die before I had written this book, and so it seemed to me that I had better set about it at once. When I have finished it I can face the future with serenity, for I shall have rounded off my life's work. --W. Somerset Maugham (1874—1965) English novelist, playwright, and short-story writer. _The Summing Up_ [1938], Chapter III Every day should be passed as if it were to be our last. --Publilius Syrus (85—43 B.C.) Latin writer of mimes who was originally a slave. _Maxims_, # 633 Live now, believe me, wait not till tomorrow; Gather the roses of life today. --Pierre de Ronsard (1524—1585) French poet. "Sonnets pour Hélène" 1, 43 Do not shorten the morning by getting up late; look upon it as the quintessence of life, as to a certain extent sacred. --Arthur Schopenhauer (1788—1860) German philosopher. _Counsels and Maxims_, ch. 2 How long do you want to wait until you start enjoying life? When you're sixty-five you get Social Security, not girls. --Neil Simon (1927— ) American playwright. _Come Blow Your Horn_ [1961] Rash indeed is he who reckons on the morrow, or haply on days beyond it; for tomorrow is not, until today is past. --Sophocles (496?—406 B.C.) Greek dramatist. _Trachiniae_, Line 943 Early to rise and early to bed makes a male healthy and wealthy and dead. --James Thurber (1894—1961) American humorist and cartoonist. "The Shrike and the Chipmunks" _New Yorker_ [18 February 1939] As I got older I became aware of the folly of this perpetual reaching after the future, and of drawing from tomorrow, and from tomorrow only, a reason for the joyfulness of today. I learned, when alas, it was almost too late, to live each moment as it passed over my head. --William Hale White [pseud. Mark Rutherford] (1831—1913) English novelist. - "Carpe Diem? Maybe Tomorrow" By John Tierney "N.Y.Times" [28 December 2009] For once, social scientists have discovered a flaw in the human psyche that will not be tedious to correct. You may not even need a support group. You could try on your own by starting with this simple New Year’s resolution: Have fun ... now! Then you just need the strength to cash in your gift certificates, drink that special bottle of wine, redeem your frequent flier miles and take that vacation you always promised yourself. If your resolve weakens, do not succumb to guilt or shame. Acknowledge what you are: a recovering procrastinator of pleasure. It sounds odd, but this is actually a widespread form of procrastination — just ask the airlines and other marketers who save billions of dollars annually from gift certificates that expire unredeemed. Or the poets who have kept turning out exhortations to seize the day and gather rosebuds. But it has taken awhile for psychologists and behavioral economists to analyze this condition. Now they have begun to explore the strange impulse to put off until tomorrow what could be enjoyed today. Why, for instance, is it so hard to find time to visit landmarks in your own backyard? People who have moved to Chicago, Dallas and London get to fewer local landmarks during their entire first year than the typical tourist visits during a two-week stay, according to a study conducted by Suzanne B. Shu and Ayelet Gneezy, who are professors of marketing at the University of California, Los Angeles, and the University of California, San Diego, respectively. The Chicagoans in the study had visited more landmarks in other cities than in their own, and even their relatively small amount of local sightseeing was done mainly in the course of entertaining out-of-towners. Otherwise, the only time Chicagoans rushed to see the local landmarks was just before they were about to move to another city, when that deadline inspired sudden passions for taking architectural tours and going to the zoo. When there is no immediate deadline, we’re liable to put off going to the zoo this weekend because we assume that we will be less busy next weekend — or the weekend after that, or next summer. This is the same sort of thinking that causes us to put the gift certificate in the drawer because we expect to have more time for shopping in the future. We’re trying to do a cost-benefit analysis of the time lost versus the pleasure or money to be gained, but we’re not accurate in our estimates of “resource slack,” as it is termed by Gal Zauberman and John G. Lynch. These behavioral economists found that when people were asked to anticipate how much extra money and time they would have in the future, they realistically assumed that money would be tight, but they expected free time to magically materialize. Hence you’re more likely to agree to a commitment next year, like giving a speech, that you would turn down if asked to find time for it in the next month. This produces what researchers call the “Yes ... Damn!” effect: when the speech comes due next year, you bitterly discover you’re still as busy as ever. Dr. Shu and Dr. Gneezy demonstrated another effect of this fallacy by giving people gift certificates good for movie tickets and French pastries. Some got certificates that expired within two to three weeks; others got certificates good for six to eight weeks. The people who received the long-term certificates were more confident than the others that they would redeem the gifts — a logical enough assumption, given all the extra time they had. But they just kept putting it off, and ultimately they were more likely to let the gift go unredeemed than the people who had received the short-term certificates. Once you start procrastinating pleasure, it can become a self-perpetuating process if you fixate on some imagined nirvana. The longer you wait to open that prize bottle of wine, the more special the occasion has to be. If you’re determined to get the absolute maximum out of those frequent flier miles, you can end up wasting them, as Dr. Shu found in an experiment offering people a chance to use discount coupons in the course of buying a series of plane tickets. Once the subjects were told that they might have a chance at a free flight worth $1,000, they scorned lesser awards and hung on to their coupons so long that in the end they had to use them for much cheaper flights. “People can become overly focused on an ideal,” Dr. Shu said. “Even if they know it’s unlikely, they get so focused on the perfect scenario that they block everything else. Or they anticipate that they’ll kick themselves later if they take second-best option and then see the best one is still available. But they don’t realize that regret can go the other way. They’ll end up with something worse and regret not taking the second-best one.” But even if you know about all this research, how can you apply these lessons? How can you avoid the temptation to postpone pleasure? (You can offer suggestions at nytimes.com/tierneylab.) One immediate strategy, Dr. Shu said, is to cash in quickly any gift certificate you received this holiday season. “The biggest danger is that it will be forgotten and expire,” she said. “One of the best presents you can give back to the giver is to use it quickly and then tell them how much you enjoyed it. The regret from not using it will be bigger than the regret from using it on a nonperfect occasion, for you and especially for the person who gave it.” Another tactic is to give yourself deadlines. Cash in the miles by summer, even if you can’t get a round-the-world trip out of them. Instead of waiting for a special occasion to indulge yourself, create one. Dr. Shu approvingly cites the pioneering therapeutic work of Dorothy J. Gaiter and John Brecher, who for the past decade used their Wall Street Journal column on wine to proclaim the last Saturday of February to be “Open That Bottle Night.” But you don’t even have to wait until Feb. 27. Remember the advice offered in the movie “Sideways” to Miles, who has been holding on to a ’61 Cheval Blanc so long that it is in danger of going bad. When Miles says he is waiting for a special occasion, his friend Maya puts matters in perspective: “The day you open a ’61 Cheval Blanc, that’s the special occasion.” - - "A Story To Live By" by Ann Wells in the "Los Angeles Times," late 1990s My brother-in-law opened the bottom drawer of my sister's bureau and lifted out a tissue-wrapped package. "This," he said, "is not a slip. This is lingerie." He discarded the tissue and handed me the slip. It was exquisite; silk, handmade and trimmed with a cobweb of lace. The price tag with an astronomical figure on it was still attached. "Jan bought this the first time we went to New York, at least 8 or 9 years ago. She never wore it. She was saving it for a special occasion. Well, I guess this is the occasion." He took the slip from me and put it on the bed with the other clothes we were taking to the mortician. His hands lingered on the soft material for a moment, then he slammed the drawer shut and turned to me. "Don't ever save anything for a special occasion. Every day you're alive is a special occasion." I remembered those words through the funeral and the days that followed when I helped him and my niece attend to all the sad chores that follow an unexpected death. I thought about them on the plane returning to California from the Midwestern town where my sister's family lives. I thought about all the things that she hadn't seen or heard or done. I thought about the things that she had done without realizing that they were special. I'm still thinking about his words, and they've changed my life. I'm reading more and dusting less. I'm sitting on the deck and admiring the view without fussing about the weeds in the garden. I'm spending more time with my family and friends and less time in committee meetings. Whenever possible, life should be a pattern of experience to savor, not endure. I'm trying to recognize these moments now and cherish them. I'm not "saving" anything; we use our good china and crystal for every special event — such as losing a pound, getting the sink unstopped, the first camellia blossom. I wear my good blazer to the market if I feel like it. My theory is if I look prosperous, I can shell out $28.49 for one small bag of groceries without wincing. I'm not saving my good perfume for special parties; clerks in hardware stores and tellers in banks have noses that function as well as my party-going friends. "Someday" and "one of these days" are losing their grip on my vocabulary. If it's worth seeing or hearing or doing, I want to see and hear and do it now. I'm not sure what my sister would have done had she known that she wouldn't be here for the tomorrow we all take for granted. I think she would have called family members and a few close friends. She might have called a few former friends to apologize and mend fences for past squabbles. I like to think she would have gone out for a Chinese dinner, her favorite food. I'm guessing — I'll never know. It's those little things left undone that would make me angry if I knew that my hours were limited. Angry because I put off seeing good friends whom I was going to get in touch with someday. Angry because I hadn't written certain letters that I intended to write one of these days. Angry and sorry that I didn't tell my husband and daughter often enough how much I truly love them. I'm trying very hard not to put off, hold back, or save anything that would add laughter and luster to our lives. And every morning when I open my eyes, I tell myself that it is special. Every day, every minute, every breath truly is...a gift from God. - end page | CALAMITIES - CALM | CALUMNY - CANADA | CANCER - CAPITAL PUNISHMENT | CAPITALISM | CAREFREE - CARPE DIEM | CARTER (JIMMY) - CATS & DOGS | CAUSES AND CONSEQUENCES - CENSORSHIP | CERTAINTY - CHANGE | CHANGING (ONE'S MIND) & CHANGING TIMES | CHARACTER | CHARACTER ASSASINATION - CHEERFULNESS | CHEER UP! - CHILDHOOD | CHILDREN | CHILDREN'S RHYME | CHILE & CHINA | CHOCOLATE - CHRISTIANITY | CHRISTMAS | CHURCH - CIGARS | CIRCUMSTANCES & CITIES | CIVILITY - CIVIL RIGHTS | CLARITY - CLEVER | CLOTHES - COFFEE | COLD - COLORS | COMEDY | COMFORT - COMMON SENSE | COMMUNICATION | COMMUNISM | COMPANIONSHIP - COMPASSION | COMPETITION - COMPLIMENTS | COMPOSERS - CONDUCTORS | CONFESSION - CONQUEST | CONSCIENCE - CONTENTED | CONTEXT - CONVERSATION | CONVICTION & COOKING | COOLIDGE - CORPORATIONS | CORRUPTION - COURAGE | COURT - COWS | CREATIVITY - CRIME | CRIME & PUNISHMENT - CROOKS | CRITICISM & CRITICS | CROWD (THE) - CUBA | CULTURE - CYNICS | | A | B | C | D | E | F | G | | Return Home | The Credits | The Cast | Act 1 | Act 2 | Act 3 | The Reviews | |
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