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;void(0)) . . . BIRTH see: "ABORTION" see: "BIRTHDAYS" (below) see: "LIFE" see "HOME & FAMILY" for other related links Having a baby is like taking your bottom lip and pulling it over your head. --Carol Burnett (1934 ) American television actress. Good work, Mary. We all knew you had it in you. (Telegram to Mrs. Sherwood on the arrival of her baby.) --Dorothy Parker (18931967) American critic and humorist. In Alexander Woolcott _While Rome Burns_ [1934]. When we are born we cry that we are come To this great stage of fools. --William Shakespeare (15641616) English dramatist. _King Lear_, act 4, sc. 6, l. 178 [1605-1606] 'Do you know who made you?' 'Nobody, as I knows on,' said the child, with a short laugh. The idea appeared to amuse her considerably; for her eyes twinkled, and she added 'I 'spect I growed. Don't think nobody never made me.' --Harriet Beecher Stowe (18111896) American writer and philanthropist. [Sister of Henry Ward Beecher, daughter of Lyman Beecher.] _Uncle Tom's Cabin_ [1852] ch. 21 Augustus passed laws to tighten the sanctions against celibacy and to increase revenue, He failed, however, to make marriage and the raising of children more popular childlessness was too attractive. --Tacitus [or Publius Cornelius Tacitus or Gaius Cornelius Tacitus] (c.55c.117), Roman orator, lawyer, senator, and historian. _Annals_, bk. 3.25 Why is it that we rejoice at a birth and grieve at a funeral? It is because we are not the person involved. --Mark Twain [Samuel Langhorne Clemens] (18351910) American humorist, novelist, journalist, and river pilot. _Pudd'nhead Wilson_ [1894] ch. 7 epigraph: "Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar" ----- prepotency [pree-POTE-n-see], noun: 1. The quality or condition of having superior power, influence, or force; predominance. 2. (Biology) The capacity, on the part of one of the parents, as compared with the other, to transmit more than his or her own share of characteristics to their offspring. viviparous (vi-vip`a-rous) Producing young in a living state, as most mammals, or as those plants the offspring of which are produced alive, either by bulbs instead of seeds, or by the seeds themselves germinating on the plant, instead of falling, as they usually do; -- opposed to oviparous.   BIRTH CONTROL . . see: "ABORTION" see: "SEX" A fast word about oral contraception. I asked a girl to go to bed with me and she said 'no'. --Woody Allen [Allen Stewart Konigsberg] (1935 ) American actor, screenwriter, and director. At a nightclub in Washington [April 1965]. Whenever I hear people discussing birth control, I always remember that I was the fifth. --Clarence Darrow (18571938) American lawyer. _The Story of My Life_, ch. 2 [1932] Contraceptives should be used on all conceivable occasions. --Spike [Terence Alan] Milligan (19182002) Irish novelist, poet, musician, and comedian. _The Last Goon Show of All_ [1972] No woman can call herself free who cannot choose the time to be a mother or not as she sees fit. --Margaret Sanger (18831966) American nurse and birth control advocate. "The Case for Birth Control" in _Physical Culture_ [April 1917]. Prevention of birth is premature murder, and it makes no difference whether it is a life already born that one snatches away or a life that is coming to birth. --Tertullian [Quintas Septimus Florens Tertullianus] (c. 155/160after220) Early Christian theologian, polemicist, and moralist. _The Christian's Defense_ [c.215] - Jack and Jill Went up the hill To have a little fun. Stupid Jill Forgot the pill And now they have a son. --anon -- A woman drove a mini-van filled with a dozen screaming kids through the mall parking lot, looking for a space. Obviously frazzled, she coasted through a stop sign. Hey, lady, have you forgotten how to stop? yelled an irate man. She rolled down her window and said, What makes you think these are all mine? . . see "AGE" for related links see "TIME" for related links A lady of 'a certain age,' which means Certainly aged. --Lord Byron [George Gordon Byron] (17881824) English Romantic poet and satirist. _Don Juan_ [1821], canto VI, st. 69 I never complained that my birthday was overlooked; people were even surprised, with a touch of admiration, by my discretion on this subject. But the reason for my disinterestedness was even more discrete: I longed to be forgotten in order to be able to complain to myself. --Albert Camus (19131960) French novelist, dramatist, and essayist who won the 1957 Nobel Prize for Literature. _The Fall_ [1956] Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when we're kids? If you're less that 10 years old, you're so excited about aging that you think in fractions. "How old are you?" "I'm four and a half!" You're never thirty-six and a half. You're four and a half, going on five. That's the key. You get into your teens, now they can't hold you back. You jump to the next number, or even a few ahead. "How old are you?" "I'm gonna be 16!" You could be 13, but hey, you're gonna be 16. And then the greatest day of your life...you become 21. Even the words sound like a ceremony...YOU BECOME 21...Yesssss!!! But then you turn 30. Oooohh, what happened there? Makes you sound like bad milk. He TURNED, we had to throw him out. There's no fun now, you're just a sour-dumpling. What's wrong? What's changed? You BECOME 21, you TURN 30, then you're PUSHING 40. Whoa! Put on the brakes, it's all slipping away. Before you know it, you REACH 50...and your dreams are gone. But wait!!! You MAKE it to 60. You didn't think you would! So you BECOME 21, TURN 30, PUSH 40, REACH 50 and MAKE it to 60. You've built up so much speed that you HIT 70! After that it's a day-by- day thing; you HIT Wednesday! You get into your 80's and every day is a complete cycle; you HIT lunch; you TURN 4:30; you REACH bedtime. And it doesn't end there. Into the 90's you start going backwards; "I was JUST 92." Then a strange thing happens. If you make it over 100, you become a little kid again. "I'm 100 and a half!" --George Carlin (19372008) American stand-up comedian and author. 'There are three hundred and sixty-four days when you might get un-birthday presents.' 'Certainly,' said Alice. 'And only *one* for birthday presents, you know. There's glory for you! --Lewis Carroll [Charles Lutwidge Dodgson] (18321898) English writer and logician. _Thorough the Looking-Glass_, ch. 6 [1872] The woman who tells her age is either too young to have anything to lose or too old to have anything to gain. --Chinese Proverb In Bob Phillips _Phillips' Book of Great Thoughts_, p. 12 [1993]. What is there to celebrate? Birthdays are automatic things. Anyway, birthdays are for children. --Albert Einstein (18791955) German-American physicist who developed the special and general theories of relativity. In _New York Times_ [12 March 1944]. I occasionally get birthday cards from fans. But its often the same message: They hope its my last. --Al Forman, National League umpire [baseball] "Time" [25 August 1961] She may very well pass for forty-three, In the dusk with a light behind her. --W. S. Gilbert (18361911) English writer of comic and satirical verse. _Trial by Jury _ [1875] The Grecian ladies counted their age from their marriage, not their birth. --Homer (c. 850? BC) Greek epic poet. May you live to be a hundred years, With one extra year to repent. --Irish toast [Obi-Wan Kenobi, played by Alec Guinness, speaking:] The Force will be with you always. --George Lucas (1944 ) American screenwriter and producer. _Star Wars_ [1977] (screenplay) Is that a birthday? 'tis, alas! too clear; 'Tis but the funeral of the former year. --Alexander Pope (16881744) English poet. _To Mrs. M.B._ l. 9 She took to telling the truth; she said she was forty-two and five months. It may have been pleasing to the angels, but her elder sister was not gratified. --Saki [Hector Hugh Munro] (18701916) Scottish writer. _Reginald_ [1904] Take every birthday with a grain of salt. This works much better if the salt accompanies a large margarita. --John Wagner (1949 ) British comics writer. "Maxine" cartoon - I raise my glass to say, It's your birthday, that's true; And to celebrate the fact That I'm younger than you. --anon. -- A famous author was autographing copies of his new novel in a department store. One gentleman pleased him by bringing up not only his new book for signature, but two of his previous ones as well. My wife likes your stuff, he remarked apologetically, so I thought Id give her these signed copies for a birthday present. A surprise, eh? hazarded the author. Ill say, agreed the customer. Shes expecting a Mercedes. . . see "EMOTIONS & FEELINGS" for related links O poor mortals, how ye make this earth bitter for each other. --Thomas Carlyle (17951881) Scottish historian and political philosopher. _History of the French Revolution_ Here is a rule to remember in the future, when anything tempts you to feel bitter: not, "This is a misfortune," but "To bear this worthily is good fortune." --Marcus Aurelius Antoninus (121180) Roman emperor [161180] and Stoic philosopher. _Meditations_ Book IV, Number 49 I don't want to be bitter about life about love and friendship and all the human emotional entanglements. I've had more than my share of human disappointments, deprivations, disillusionment. I want to love people and life above all; I want to be able to say always, "if you feel bitter or disillusioned, there is something wrong with yourself, not with people, not with life. --Henry Miller (18911980) American novelist and essayist. Some old women and men grow bitter with age. The more their teeth drop out the more biting they get. --George Dennison Prentice (18021870) American journalist. _Prenticeana_ [1860] O, how bitter a thing it is to look into happiness through another man's eyes! --William Shakespeare (15641616) English dramatist. _As You Like It_ [1599] ----- acrimony (noun) ['ζ-krκ-mo-ni] Physical or psychological bitterness, rancor, hostile resentment. rancorous (adj.) ['rang-ker-uh s] Full of bitterness or rage, unforgiving, spite-filled. rankle (intransitive verb) To cause persistent feelings of bitterness, resentment, or anger saturnine [SAT-uhr-nyn], adjective: 1. Born under or being under the astrological influence of the planet Saturn. 2. Gloomy or sullen in disposition. 3. Having a sardonic or bitter aspect. Ex.: A saturnine prison guard sits and broods -- and every now and then, gets up and shoots an unseen prisoner. --John Walsh, review of The Silence Between Two Thoughts, "Independent," June 11, 2004 end page | BABIES - BARTENDERS | BASEBALL | BASTARDS - BEATLES (THE) | BEAUTY | BED - BEGINNINGS | BEHAVIOR - BELIEF | BENNY (JACK) - BIBLE | BICYCLES - BIRDS | BIRTH - BLAIR (TONY) | BLAME - BLOGGING | BLONDES - BOOK BURNING | BOOKS | BOOMERS (THE) - BOXING | BOYS - BREAKING UP | BREASTS - BRITAIN | BROADWAY - BUBBLES (ECONOMIC) | BUGS BUNNY - BUREAUCRACY | BURMA SHAVE - BUSYBODIES | | A | B | C | D | E | F | G | | Return Home | The Credits | The Cast | Act 1 | Act 2 | Act 3 | The Reviews | |
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