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Home |
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Home |
Credits |
Cast |
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Reviews |
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 . . . BANANAS see "FOOD & DRINK" for related links Now, it's quite simple to defend yourself against a man armed with a banana. First of all you force him to drop the banana; then, second, you eat the banana, thus disarming him. You have now rendered him helpless. --"Monty Python" (television show)   BANKERS . . Photograph: The lobby of the Williamsburgh Savings Bank (photo of the building below) see "MONEY" for related links see "WORK" for related links [a bank executive talks to his subordinates in a staff meeting] Levy transition fees. And maintenance fees. And fees for opening an account, closing and account, having less than three accounts, and having more than two accounts. I want to see late charges, early charges, and surcharges on other charges. I want a fee for foreign accounts, a fee for domestic accounts, and a fee for accounts subject to audits. You get the picture? Institute a contact fee, a telephone charge, a bookkeeping adjustment charge, a sinking fee, a flotation fee, and you, Nichols, go to the New York Public Library and-- I don't care how long it takes-- find five fees that no one has ever heard of. Look especially hard into Babylonia, the Sumerians, Byzantium, and the Holy Roman Empire. Those guys knew what they were doing, and they had balls. --Mark Helprin (1947- ) American novelist and journalist, _Memoir from Ant-Proof Case_ - Will you please tell us what you do with all the Vice Presidents a bank has? I guess that's to get you more discouraged before you can see the President. Why, the United States is the biggest Business institution in the world and they only have one Vice President and nobody has ever found anything for him to do. --Will Rogers [William Penn Adair Rogers] (1879-1935) American humorist and actor, in a speech to the International Bankers Association [1922] - After being charged £20 for a £10 overdraft, 30 year old Michael Howard of Leeds changed his name by deed poll to Yorkshire Bank PLC Are Fascist Bastards. The bank has now asked him to close his account, and Mr. Bastards has asked them to repay the 69p balance, by cheque, made out in his new name. --_The Guardian_ - A dreary young bank clerk named Fennis Wished to foster an aura of menace; To make people afraid He wore gloves of grey suede And white footgear intended for tennis. --anon. ;void(0)) BANKS . . Photograph: The Williamsburgh Savings Bank, for decades, the tallest building in Brooklyn, New York. see "MONEY" for related links "Never mind how I got it. Bank it." --Said to have been said by Tallulah Bankhead in 1933, when FDR called in the gold, and she showed up at the bank with a large stack of gold coins, and the teller raised his eyebrows and said, "Why, Miss Bankhead, you've been hoarding." {Tallulah Bankhead (1903-1968) American actress.} A bank is a place where they lend you an umbrella in fair weather and ask for it back when it begins to rain. --Robert Frost (1874-1963) American poet. A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it. --Bob [Leslie Townes] Hope (1903-2003) British-born American entertainer and actor. - Here at First National, you're not just a number -- you're two numbers, a dash, three more numbers, another dash and another number. --anon.  BARTENDERS . . see "WORK" for related links The hard part about being a bartender is figuring out who is drunk and who is just stupid. --Richard Braunstein end page | BABIES - BALLET | BANANAS - BARTENDERS | BASEBALL | BASTARDS - BEATLES (THE) | BEAUTY | BED - BEGINNINGS | BEHAVIOR - BELIEF | BENNY (JACK) - BIBLE | BICYCLES - BIRDS | BIRTH - BLAIR (TONY) | BLAME - BLOGGING | BLONDES - BOOK BURNING | BOOKS | BOOMERS (THE) - BOXING | BOYS - BREAKING UP | BREASTS - BRITAIN | BROADWAY - BUBBLES (ECONOMIC) | BUGS BUNNY - BUREAUCRACY | BURMA SHAVE - BUSYBODIES | | A | B | C | D | E | F | G | | Return Home | The Credits | The Cast | Act 1 | Act 2 | Act 3 | The End | The Reviews | |
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