BABIES


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	BABIES . . . see "AGE" for related links see "LOVE & MARRIAGE (OR NOT)" for related links see "HOME & FAMILY" for related links Of deepest blue of summer skies Is wrought the heaven of her eyes. Of that fine gold the autumns wear Is wrought the glory of her hair. Of rose leaves fashioned in the south Is shaped the marvel of her mouth. And from the honeyed lips of bliss Is drawn the sweetness of her kiss, 'Mid twilight thrushes that rejoice Is found the cadence of her voice, Of winds that wave the western fir Is made the velvet touch of her. all earth's songs God took the half To make the ripple of her laugh. I hear you ask, "Pray who is she?"-- This maid that is so dear to me. "A reigning queen in Fashion's whirl?" Nay, nay! She is my baby girl. --Herbert Bashford (1871-1928) American librarian and verse writer. - Out of the mouth of babes . . . --The Holy Bible "The Book of Psalms" 8:2-5 If your baby is 'beautiful and perfect, never cries or fusses, sleeps on schedule and burps on demand, an angel all the time,' you're the grandma. --Theresa Bloomingdale (1930-2000) American humorist and author. - I was the world's ugliest baby. When I was born the doctor slapped everybody. --Phyllis Diller (1917- ) American comedian We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up. --Phyllis Diller (1917- ) American comedian - - THE FOND FATHER Of baby I was very fond, She'd won her father's heart; So when she fell into the pond It gave me quite a start. --Harry Graham (1874-1936) British writer and journalist, _Ruthless Rhymes for Heartless Homes_ [1899] Wendell, with a thirst for gore, Nailed baby to the bathroom door. Mother said, with humour quaint, "Wendell, dear, don't chip the paint." --Harry Graham (1874-1936) British writer and journalist, _Ruthless Rhymes for Heartless Homes_ [1899] When Baby's cries grew hard to bear, I popped him in the Frigidaire. I never would have done so if I'd known he'd be frozen stiff. My wife said: 'Dear, I'm so unhappé Our darling's now completely frappé!' --Harry Graham (1874-1936) British writer and journalist, _Ruthless Rhymes for Heartless Homes_ [1899] - A sweet new blossom of humanity, Fresh fallen from God's own home to flower on earth. --Gerald Massey (1828-1907) English poet, "Wooed and Won" A little talcum Is always walcum. --Ogden Nash (1902-1971) American humorist, "The Baby" A baby is God's opinion that the world should go on. --Carl Sandburg (1878-1967) American poet - It sometimes happens, even in the best of families, that a baby is born. This is not necessarily cause for alarm. The important thing is to keep your wits about you and borrow some money. --Elinor Goulding Smith, _The Complete Book of Absolutely Perfect Baby and Child Care_ All good qualities in a child are the result of environment, while all the bad ones are the result of poor heredity on the side of the other parent. --Elinor Goulding Smith, _The Complete Book of Absolutely Perfect Baby and Child Care_ - A babe in the house is a well-spring of pleasure, a messenger of peace and love, a resting place for innocence on earth, a link between angels and men. --Martin Farquhar Tupper (1810-1889) English writer, "Of Education" - If a deformed newborn baby has a cropped and inflated right ear - crazed women will seize the land. --anon., quoted in A Leo Oppenheim {ed.} _Texts From Cuneiform Sources v. 4 E. Leichty _The Omen Series: Shumma Izbu_ [1970], p.194 - Having a baby isn't so bad. If you're a female Emperor penguin in the Antarctic. She lays the egg, rolls it over to the father, then takes off for warmer weather where she eats and eats and eats. For two months, the father stands stiff, without food, blind in the 24- hour dark, balancing the egg on his feet. After the little penguin is hatched, the mother sees fit to come home. --anon. -- Realizing that their home just wasn't big enough with the new baby in the house, Little Johnny's parents discussed moving to a bigger one. Little Johnny sat patiently listening to his parents, then piped in, "It's no use. He'll just follow us anyway." ----- neonate (noun) A newborn infant, especially one less than four weeks old. Synonyms: newborn, newborn baby end page \| BABIES \| BACH - BALLET \| BANANAS - BARTENDERS \| BASEBALL \| BASTARDS & BATH (ENGLAND) \| BE YOURSELF - BEATLES (THE) \| BEAUTY \| BED - BEGINNINGS \| BEHAVIOR - BELIEF \| BENNY (JACK) - BEST (DO YOUR) \| BETRAYAL & BIBLE \| BICYCLES - BIGOTRY \| BILL OF RIGHTS - BIRDS \| BIRTH - BIRTHDAYS \| BITTERNESS & BLAIR (TONY) \| BLAME - BLOGGING \| BLONDES - BOOK BURNING \| BODY (THE) \| BOOKS \| BOOMERS (THE) - BORROWING \| BOSTON & BOXING \| BOYS - BREAKING UP \| BREASTS - BRITAIN \| BROADWAY - BUBBLES (ECONOMIC) \| BUGS BUNNY - BUREAUCRACY \| BURMA SHAVE - BUSYBODIES \| \| A \| B \| C \| D \| E \| F \| G \| \| Return Home \| The Credits \| The Cast \| Act 1 \| Act 2 \| Act 3 \| The End \| The Reviews \|