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;void(0)) APOLOGY & APPEARANCE . . . APOLOGY see: "HUMILITY" see: "REGRET" see: "REMORSE" see: "MISTAKES" for other related links ^ Alexander Blackwell (d. 1747) British adventurer. Sentenced to be decapitated, Blackwell came to the block and laid his head on the wrong side. The executioner pointed out his mistake. Blackwell moved around to the correct side, observing that he was sorry for the mistake, but this was the first time that he had been beheaded. --_Bartlett's Book of Anecdotes_ edited by Clifton Fadiman and André Bernard [2000 ed.] ^ Eating words has never given me indigestion. --attributed to Winston Churchill (1874—1965) British Conservative statesman and Prime Minister [1940—1945, 1951—1955]. I ate umble pie with an appetite. --Charles Dickens (1812—1870) English novelist. _David Copperfield_, ch. 39 [1850] Never complain and never explain. --Benjamin Disraeli (1804—1881) British Tory statesman, novelist, and Prime Minister [1868, 1874—1880]. Attributed in J. Morley _Life of William Ewart Gladstone_ [1903]. How often could things be remedied by a word. How often is it left unspoken. --Norman Douglas (1868—1952) Austrian-born British novelist and essayist. _An Almanac_ [1945] I have to apologize to you that I am still among the living. There will be a remedy for this however. --Albert Einstein (1879—1955) German-American physicist who developed the special and general theories of relativity. (Letter of 25 August 1946 to Tyffany Williams, a child in South Africa who expressed surprise on learning that Einstein was still alive.) Another ingredient for a happy marriage: Budget the luxuries first. And still another: See to it that she has her own desk, then keep your hands off it! And another, in a family argument, if it turns out you are right, apologize at once! --Robert Heinlein (1907—1988) American science-fiction writer. _Time Enough for Love_ [1973] A very desperate habit; one that is rarely cured. Apology is only egotism wrong side out. Nine times out of ten, the first thing a man's companion knows of his short-comings is from his apology. --Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr. (1809—1894) American physician, poet, and essayist. _The Professor at the Breakfast Table_ [1860] Never explain — your friends do not need it and your enemies will not believe you anyway. --Elbert Hubbard (1859—1915) American editor, publisher, and author who died in the sinking of the "Lusitania." _The Motto Book_ [1907] A long apology is a hideous thing. --Samuel Johnson (1709—1784) English poet, critic, and lexicographer. Letter to Dr. Charles Burney [18 March 1782]. ^ George C. Scott was once required to shoot a love scene with a certain voluptuous actress. "I apologize if I get an erection," he said getting into bed. "And I apologize if I don't." --anecdotage.com ^ A man should never be ashamed to own he has been in the wrong, which is but saying, in other words, that he is wiser today than he was yesterday. --Alexander Pope (1688—1744) English poet. Attributed in _The Visitor: or, Monthly Instructor, for 1846_, by Religious Tract Society (G.B.). The greatest achievement in my life in terms of morality is that I can apologize to someone I have wronged. I can bow my head and ask for forgiveness. I think everyone should learn to do this, everyone should realize that, far from humiliating, it elevates the soul. --Mstislav Rostropovich (1927—2007) Russian cellist and conductor. Attributed in "Reader's Digest" [1991]. ^ George C. Scott was once required to shoot a love scene with a certain voluptuous actress. "I apologize if I get an erection," he said getting into bed. "And I apologize if I don't." --anecdotage.com ^ It is a good rule in life never to apologize. The right sort of people do not want apologies, and the wrong sort take a mean advantage of them. --P.G. [Pelham Grenville] Wodehouse (1881—1975) English humorist; American citizen from 1955. _The Man Upstairs_ [1914] ----- palliate (verb) ['pal-ee-eyt] To alleviate or relive, to make something appear less serious.  ;void(0)) APPEARANCE . . see: "CLOTHES" see: "DECEPTION" see: "DRESS" see: "FACTS" see: "FASHION" see: "HYPOCRISY" see: "PERCEPTION" see: "PHONIES" see: "REALITY" see: "TRUTH" see: "THE BODY" for other related links Appearances often are deceiving. --Æsop (c.620 B.C.—c.560 B.C.) (Thought to be a legendary figure.) _Æsop's Fables_ "The Wolf in Sheep Clothing" Some men, like modern shops, hang everything in their show windows; when one goes inside, nothing is found. --Berthold Auerbach (1812—1882) German novelist. Attributed in _Every Other Sunday_ [16 December 1900]. What dreadful hot weather we have! It keeps me in a continual state of inelegance. --Jane Austen (1775—1817) English writer. Letter [18 September 1796]. [On a hot summer day in NYC:] Mrs. Al Rosen: You look so cool in that seersucker suit, Yogi. Yogi Berra: Thanks, Mrs. Rosen, you don't look so hot yourself. --story told to Saul Isler by Al Rosen and quoted in William Safire _Coming to Terms_ [1991]. The devil's most devilish when respectable. --Elizabeth Barrett Browning (1806—1861) English poet. "Aurora Leigh" [1857] "I quite agree with you." said the Duchess; "and the moral of that is—'Be what you would seem to be'—or, if you'd like it put more simply— 'Never imagine yourself not to be otherwise than what it might appear to others that what you were or might have been was not otherwise than what you had been would have appeared to them to be otherwise." --Lewis Carroll [Charles Lutwidge Dodgson] (1832—1898) English writer and logician. _Alice's Adventures in Wonderland_ [1865], "The Mock Turtle's Story" When I started, at least women dressed to please men. Now, they dress to astonish one another. --Coco Chanel (1883—1971) French fashion designer. Quoted in "Newsweek" in 1969. Do not judge men by mere appearances; for the light laughter that bubbles on the lip often mantles over the depths of sadness, and the serious look may be the sober veil that covers a divine peace and joy. --Edwin Hubbel Chapin (1814—1880) American clergyman and author. Attributed in William Safire & Leonard Safir _Good Advice_ [1982] There are some people who state that the exterior, sex, or physique of another person is indifferent to them, that they care only for the communion of mind with mind; but these people need not detain us. There are some statements that no one ever thinks of believing, however often they are made. --G.K. (Gilbert Keith) Chesterton (1874—1936) English essayist, novelist, and poet. _The Defendant_ [1901] "A Defence of Ugly Things" [Of his portrait, painted by Graham Sutherland:] I look as if I was having a difficult stool. --Winston Churchill (1874—1965) British Conservative statesman and Prime Minister [1940—1945, 1951—1955]. Quoted in _Lyttelton Hart-Davis Letters_, ed Rupert Hart-Davis [1978], letter of 20 November 1955. Clothes make the man. --"Cincinnati Literary Gazette" [9 April 1825] Thousands upon thousands are yearly brought into a state of real poverty by their great anxiety not to be thought poor. --William Cobbett (1763—1835) English politician, agriculturist, and journalist. _Advice to Young Men and (Incidentally) to Young Women_ [1831] "Letter II: To a Young Man" Behavior which appears superficially correct, but is intrinsically corrupt, always irritates those who see below the surface. --James Bryant Conant (1893—1978) American chemist, educational administrator, and professor. Baccalaureate Address, Harvard College [1934]. I have yet to meet a man as fond of high moral conduct as he is of outward appearances. --Confucius (551—479 B.C.) K'ung Ch'iu, Chinese philosopher. _The Best of Confucius_, translated by James R. Ware [1950] I confess freely to you, I could never look long upon a monkey, without very mortifying reflections. --William Congreve (1670—1729) English dramatist. Letter to Dennis [1695], in John C. Hodges (ed.) _William Congreve: Letters and Documents_ [1964]. ^ Edward Drinker Cope (1840—1897) American paleontologist. A Quaker, Cope refused to take a gun with him on his fossil-hunting forays, despite the fact that these led him into territories populated with hostile Indians. On one occasion, finding himself surrounded by a distinctly unfriendly band, Cope distracted his captors from their murderous intentions by removing and putting back his false teeth. Enthralled by this performance, they made him do it over and over again and eventually released him unharmed. --_Bartlett's Book of Anecdotes_ edited by Clifton Fadiman and André Bernard [2000 ed.] ^ - According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable undressing in front of men than they do in front of other women. They say that women are too judgemental, whereas, of course, men are just grateful. --attributed to Robert De Niro, Jr. (b. 1943) American actor. - Cheerfulness and contentment are great beautifiers and are famous preservers of youthful looks. --Charles Dickens (1812—1870) English novelist. Attributed in _The Sabbath Recorder_ [6 December 1920]. Take nothing on its looks; take everything on evidence. There's no better rule. --Charles Dickens (1812—1870) English novelist. _Great Expectations_, ch 40 [1861] - If most of us are ashamed of shabby clothes and shoddy furniture, let us be more ashamed of shabby ideas and shoddy philosophies. --Albert Einstein (1879—1955) German-American physicist. Attributed in _Presbyterian Outlook_, vol 143, issue 4 [1961]. Appearances to the mind are of four kinds. Things either are what they appear to be; or they neither are, nor appear to be; or they are, and do not appear to be; or they are not, and yet appear to be. Rightly to aim in all these cases is the wise man's task. --Epictetus (55—135) Greek philosopher. _The Discourses_ [c. 101 to 108] Handsome is that handsome does. --Henry Fielding (1707—1754) English novelist and dramatist. _A History of Tom Jones, a Foundling_, bk. IV, ch. xii [1749] Pay no attention to *appearing*. *Being* is alone important. --Andre Gide (1869—1951) French novelist and critic who received the Nobel Prize for Literature in 1947. "Rule of Conduct" (journal) [November 1890] - The school year progressed slowly. I felt as if I had been in the sixth grade for years, yet it was only October. Halloween was approaching. Coming from Ireland, we had never thought of it as a big holiday, though Sarah and I usually went out trick-or- treating. For the last couple of years I had been too sick to go out, but this year Halloween fell on a day when I felt quite fine. My mother was the one who came up with the Eskimo idea. I put on a winter coat, made a fish out of paper, which I hung on the end of a stick, and wrapped my face up in a scarf. [...] We walked around the neighborhood with our pillow-case sacks, running into other groups of kids and comparing notes: the house three doors down gave whole candy bars, while the house next to that gave only cheap mints. I felt wonderful. It was only as the night wore on and the moon came out and the older kids, the big kids, went on their rounds that I began to realize why I felt so good. No one could see me clearly. No one could see my face. --Lucy Grealy (1963—2002) American poet. (Who was diagnosed at the age of nine with Ewing's sarcoma, a rare form of cancer, which had left her with an extremely disfigured face.) _Autobiography Of A Face_, ch. 7 [1994] - - I have laughed in bitterness and agony of heart, at the contrast between what I seem and what I am! --Nathaniel Hawthorne (1804—1864) American novelist and short-story writer. _The Scarlet Letter_ [1850] No man, for any considerable period, can wear one face to himself, and another to the multitude, without finally getting bewildered as to which may be the true. --Nathaniel Hawthorne (1804—1864) American novelist and short-story writer. _The Scarlet Letter_ [1850] - [Of Clark Gable:] That man's ears make him look like a taxi-cab with both doors open. --Howard Hughes Jr. (1905—1976) American industrialist, aviator, and film producer. Quoted in Charles Higham and Joel Greenberg _Celluloid Muse_ [1969]. Whenever a man's friends begin to compliment him about looking young, he may be sure that they think he is growing old. --Washington Irving (1783—1859) American writer. _Bracebridge Hall_ [1822], "Bachelors" A man of the world must seem to be what he wishes to be. --Jean de La Bruyère (1645—1696) French essayist and moralist. In James Wood _Dictionary of Quotations from Ancient and Modern, English and Foreign Sources_, p. 12 [1899]. Don't judge a book by its cover. --"L.A. Times" [14 March 1897] All God's children are not beautiful. Most of God's children are, in fact, barely presentable. --Fran Lebowitz (b. 1946) American humorist. _Metropolitan Life_ [1978] "Manners" People are not always what they seem. --Gotthold Ephraim Lessing (1729—1781) German dramatist. _Nathan der Weise_ [1779] [Calvin Coolidge looks as if he were] weaned on a pickle. --Alice Roosevelt Longworth (1884—1980) Daughter of Theodore Roosevelt. Quoted in "Washington Post" [12 October 1924]. For the great majority of mankind are satisfied with appearance, as though they were realities and are often more influenced by the things that seem than by those that are. --Niccolò Machiavelli (1469—1527) Florentine statesman and political philosopher. _The Discourses_, 1.25 [1517] Appearances are deceptive. --Toby Meanwell _A Voyage Through Hell_ [1770] The weirder you are going to behave, the more normal you should look. It works in reverse, too. When I see a kid with three or four rings in his nose, I know there is absolutely nothing extraordinary about that person. --P.J. O'Rourke (b. 1947) American political satirist. _Give War a Chance_ [1992] It costs a lot of money to look this cheap. --attributed to Dolly Parton (b. 1946) American country music singer. Things are not always what they seem. --Gaius Julius Phaedrus (c. 15 B.C. — c. 50 A.D.) The versifier of Aesop's Fables in Latin. _Fables_ bk. 4 It is wrong to judge by appearances. Despite his expression, which was of a piglet having a bright idea, and his mode of speech, which might put you in mind of a small, breathless, neurotic, but ridiculously expensive dog, Mr. Horsefry might well have been a kind, generous, and pious man. In the same way, the man climbing out of your window in a stripy jumper, a mask, and a great hurry might merely be lost on the way to a fancy-dress ball, and the man in the wig and robes at the focus of the courtroom might only be a transvestite who wandered in out of the rain. Snap judgments can be so unfair. --Terry Pratchett (b. 1948) English science fiction writer. Footnote in _Going Postal_ [2004] A fair exterior is a silent recommendation. --Publilius Syrus (85—43 B.C.) Latin writer of mimes who was originally a slave. _Maxims_ A prudent person, having to do with a designing one, will always distrust most when appearances are fairest. --Samuel Richardson (1689—1761) English novelist. _A Collection of the Moral and Instructive Sentiments..._ [1755] - Whenever Richard Cory went down town, We people on the pavement looked at him: He was a gentleman from sole to crown, Clean-favored and imperially slim. And he was always quietly arrayed, And he was always human when he talked; But still he fluttered pulses when he said, "Good Morning!" and he glittered when he walked. And he was rich, yes, richer than a king, And admirably schooled in every grace: In fine -- we thought that he was everything To make us wish that we were in his place. So on we worked and waited for the light, And went without the meat and cursed the bread, And Richard Cory, one calm summer night, Went home and put a bullet in his head. --Edwin Arlington Robinson (1869—1935) American poet. "Richard Cory" [1897] - ^ Will Rogers (1879—1935) American humorist and actor. On a visit to Paris, Rogers sent a picture postcard of the Venus de Milo to his young niece. On the back he wrote: 'See what will happen if you don't stop biting your fingernails.' --_Bartlett's Book of Anecdotes_ edited by Clifton Fadiman and André Bernard [2000 ed.] ^ I was going to have cosmetic surgery until I noticed that the doctor's office was full of portraits by Picasso. --attributed to Rita Rudner (b. 1955) American stand-up comedian. No one shows himself as he is, but wears his mask and plays his part. Indeed, the whole of our social arrangements may be likened to a perpetual comedy; and this is why a man who is worth anything finds society so insipid, while a blockhead is quite at home in it. --Arthur Schopenhauer (1788—1860) German philosopher. _Studies in Pessimism_ [1851] - The devil can cite Scripture for his purpose. --William Shakespeare (1564—1616) English dramatist. _The Merchant of Venice_, I, iii [1596—1598] All that glisters is not gold; Often have you heard that told. --William Shakespeare (1564—1616) English dramatist. _The Merchant of Venice_, II, vii [1596—1598] & see: All that is gold does not glitter, Not all those who wander are lost; The old that is strong does not wither, Deep roots are not reached by the frost. From the ashes a fire shall be woken, A light from the shadows shall spring; Renewed shall be blade that was broken, The crownless again shall be king. --J.R.R. [John Ronald Reuel] Tolkien (1892—1973) South African-born English author. _The Lord of The Rings_ [1954—55] "The Fellowship of the Ring", ch. 10 "Strider" - - Thaddeus Stevens (1792—1868) American politician and lawyer. A visitor who called on Stevens during his last illness remarked on the patient's appearance. 'It's not my appearance that troubles me right now,' Stevens replied. 'It's my disappearance.' --_Bartlett's Book of Anecdotes_ edited by Clifton Fadiman and André Bernard [2000 ed.] - She looks as if butter wouldn't melt in her mouth. --Jonathan Swift (1667—1745) Anglo-Irish poet and satirist. _A Complete Collection of Polite and Ingenious Conversation_ [1738] Good humor may be said to be one of the very best articles of dress one can wear in society. --William Makepeace Thackeray (1811—1863) English novelist. _Sketches and Travels in London_ [1856] "On Tailoring—and Toilets in General" [Referring to a tax assessor:] Barring that natural expression of villainy which we all have, the man looked honest enough. --Mark Twain [Samuel Langhorne Clemens] (1835—1910) American humorist, novelist, journalist, and river pilot. _A Mysterious Visit_ [1870 short story] flapdawdron, n. A tall, ill-dressed person habberjock, n. a big, stupid person who speaks thickly mushlin, n. One who is fond of dainty food eaten secretly smusch, n. a short, dark person with abundant hair tulch, n. A short person of sulky, stubborn temper --In Alexander Warrack's _Scots Dictionary_. - A doctor, examining a woman who had been rushed to the emergency room, took the husband aside, and said, "I don't like the looks of your wife at all." "Me neither doc," said the husband. "But she's a great cook and really good with the kids." ----- dapper (adj.) ['dæ-pê(r)] (1) Neat, trim, jaunty, spiffy, snazzy, spruce in appearance, smartly groomed and dressed; (2) lively, sharp, quick. Applied to males only. dishevel (verb) [di-'shev-êl] 1. To disorder or tousle, especially hair or clothing. Syn: unkempt dissimulate [dih-SIM-yuh-layt], transitive verb: 1. To conceal under a false appearance. 2. To hide one's feelings or intentions; to put on a false appearance; to feign; to pretend. doppelgänger (noun) ['dah-pêl-geyn-gêr] A ghostly, haunting counterpart or double of a living person; an alter ego. embonpoint [ahn-bohn-PWAN], noun: Plumpness of person; stoutness. fop (noun) [fahp] A man who is overly concerned with or vain about his dress and appearance; a dandy. hoary [HAWR-ee], adjective: 1. Tedious from familiarity; stale. 2. Gray or white with age. 3. Ancient or venerable. homunculus (noun) [hê-'mên-kyê-lês ] A very small man. illusive (adjective) [i-'lu-siv] Deceptive in appearance, appearing to exist but vanishing as you approach. mien [MEEN], noun: 1. Manner or bearing, especially as expressive of mood, attitude, or personality; demeanor. 2. Aspect; appearance. Ex.: For her part, Amy soon learned to cloak her self-assurance and pride in her achievements in a modest mien. --Adrienne Fried Block, _Amy Beach: Passionate Victorian_ ostentatious (adj.) [ahs-ten-'tey-shês] Spectacular, gaudy and superficial in appearance or behavior for display. pallid [PAL-id], adjective: 1. Having an abnormally pale or wan complexion. 2. Lacking intensity of color or luminousness. 3. Lacking in vitality or interest. physiognomy [fiz-ee-OG-nuh-mee; -ON-uh-mee], noun: 1. The art of discovering temperament and other characteristic qualities of the mind from the outward appearance, especially by the features of the face. 2. The face or facial features, especially when regarded as indicating character. prima facie [PRY-muh-FAY-shee; -shuh], adverb: At first view; on the first appearance. adjective: 1. True, valid, or adequate at first sight; as it seems at first sight; ostensible. 2. Self-evident; obvious. 3. (Law) Sufficient to establish a fact or a case unless disproved. Ex.: "With all rich men and women there is, of course, a substantial body of populist literature that concludes that their riches were won from the labor of others, or that the structure of capitalist society ensured that the rich would grow richer as the poor grew poorer, or that riches are prima facie evidence of unethical behavior. --Robin W. Winks, _Laurance S. Rockefeller: Catalyst for Conservation_ prink [PRINGK], transitive verb: To dress up; to deck for show. intransitive verb: To dress or arrange oneself for show; to primp. raffish (adj.) ['ræ-fish] 1. Vulgar in taste, appearance, dissolute in behavior; rakish. 2. Dashing, carefree or unconventionally fun-loving; rakish. Sometimes we would go to the Gargoyle Club,... but it was too full of raffish upper-class drunks for my taste. --John Richardson, _The Sorcerer's Apprentice_ streel (noun) ['streel] (Mainly Irish) A slovenly person, especially a disreputable woman. The verb "streel" means "to idle aimlessly, to trail or float." There's an adjective form, as well: "streely" which means "unkempt, slovenly." James Joyce wrote in "Ulysses" (1922), "She did look a streel tugging the two kids along with the flimsy blouse…like a rag on her back and a bit of her petticoat hanging like a caricature." titivate [TIT-uh-vayt], transitive and intransitive verb: 1. To make decorative additions to; spruce. intransitive verb: 1. To make oneself smart or spruce. Ex.: It's easy to laugh at a book in which the heroine's husband says to her, "You look beautiful," and then adds, "So stop titivating yourself." --Joyce Cohen, review of To Be the Best, by Barbara Taylor Bradford, New York Times, July 31, 1988. verisimilitude (noun) 1. appearance of being true: the appearance of being true or real. 2. something that only seems true: something that only appears to be true or real, for example, a statement that is not supported by evidence. end page | ABILITY - ABUSE | ACADEMY AWARDS - ACCUSATION | ACHIEVEMENT - ACQUAINTANCE | ACTION/S | ACTORS / ACTING | ACTUARIES - ADVERSARIES | ADVERSITY - ADVERTISING | ADVICE | AFFAIRS - AFGHANISTAN | AGE | AGNOSTICS - AIRPLANES | ALCOHOL | ALIBI - AMBITION | AMERICA PAGE 1 (A-M) | AMERICA PAGE 2 (N-Z) | AMERICANS | AMERICAN INDIANS | AMERICAN REVOLUTION | AMUSEMENT - ANCESTORS | ANGER | ANIMAL RIGHTS - ANIMALS | ANIMOSITIES - APATHY | APOLOGY & APPEARANCE | APPEASEMENT | APPLAUSE - APRIL | ARCHAEOLOGISTS - ARCHITECTURE | ARGUMENT | ARISTOCRACY - ART | ASHAMED - ASTROLOGY | ATHEISM | ATOM BOMB - ATTRACTION | AUSTRALIA | AUTHORITY - AUTOMOBILES | AUTUMN - AWARENESS | | A | B | C | D | E | F | G | | Return Home | The Credits | The Cast | Act 1 | Act 2 | Act 3 | The Reviews | |
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