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. . . [QUOTES FOLLOW LINKS] see: ABSTINENCE BEER DRUNKENNESS EXCESS FOOD & DRINK HANGOVER IRISH TOASTS/BLESSINGS LIQUOR PROHIBITION TOASTS WHISKY WINE We, cold water girls and boys, Freely renounce the treacherous joys Of brandy, whisky, rum, and gin; The serpent's lure to death and sin. --Song of the cold water societies, temperance groups composed largely of schoolchildren c.1840 -GBAQ. If all be true that I do think, There are five reasons we should drink: Good wine, a friend, or being dry, Or lest we should be, by and by... Or any other reason why! --Henry Aldrich (16471710) English theologian and philosopher. _Five Reasons for Drinking_ [1705] He lay sprawled, too wicked to move, spewed up like a broken spider crab on the tarry shingle of the morning. The light did him harm, but not as much as looking at things did; he resolved, having done it once, never to move his eyeballs again. A dusty thudding in his head made the scene before him beat like a pulse. His mouth had been used as a latrine by some small creature of the night, and then as its mausoleum. During the night, too, he'd somehow been on a cross-country run and then been expertly beaten up by secret police. He felt bad. --Sir Kingsley Amis (19221995) English novelist, poet, critic, and father of Martin Amis. _Lucky Jim_ [1954] A man can hide all things excepting twain That he is drunk, and that he is in love. --Antiphanes (fl. early 4th cent. B.C.) Greek comic poet. As quoted in _Notes and Queries_ [23 July 1904]. One reason why I don't drink is because I wish to know when I am having a good time. --Lady Nancy Witcher Langhorne Astor (18791964) American-born, first woman to be a member of Parliament in Britian. "Christian Herald" [June 1960] All the crimes on earth do not destroy so many of the human race, nor alienate so much property, as drunkenness. --Francis Bacon (15611626) English philosopher and essayist. Attributed in _The European Magazine and London Review_, vol. 72 [July-December 1817]. - Now the faith is old and the Devil bold Exceedingly bold indeed. The masses of doubt that are floating about Would smother a mortal creed. But we that sit in a sturdy youth And still can drink strong ale Let us put it away to infallible truth That always shall prevail. And thank the Lord For the temporal sword And howling heretics too. And all good things Our Christendom brings But especially barley brew! With my row-ti-tow Ti-oodly-ow Especially barley brew! --Hilaire Belloc (18701953) British poet, essayist, historian, and novelist. "The Pelagian Drinking Song" [1912] - Drinking makes such fools of people, and people are such fools to begin with, that it's compounding a felony. --Robert Benchley (18891945) American humorist and newspaper columnist. Quoted in Herbert Victor Prochnow _The New Speaker's Treasury of Wit and Wisdom_ p. 129 [1958]. The hard part about being a bartender is figuring out who is drunk and who is just stupid. --attributed to Richard Braunstein The Americans are a good-natured people, kindly, helpful to one another, disposed to take a charitable view even of wrongdoers ... Even a mob lynching a horse thief in the West has consideration for the criminal, and will give him a good drink of whiskey before he is strung up. --James Bryce (18381922) British politician, diplomat, and historian; ambassador to the U.S. [19071913]. _The American Commonwealth_ [1888] One evening in October, when I was one-third sober, An' taking home a "load" with manly pride, My poor feet began to stutter, so I lay down in the gutter, And a pig came up an' lay down by my side. Then we sang "It's all fair weather when good fellows get together," Till a lady passing by was heard to say: "Can tella man who boozes by the company he chooses," And the pig got up and slowly walked away. --Benjamin H Burt (18801950) _And the pig got up and slowly walked away_ [1933 song] - Let us have wine and women, mirth and laughter, Sermons and soda water the day after. --Lord Byron [George Gordon Byron] (17881824) English Romantic poet and satirist. _Don Juan_, canto II, st. 178 [1819] What's drinking? A mere pause from thinking! --Lord Byron [George Gordon Byron] (17881824) English Romantic poet and satirist. _The Deformed Transformed_, III, i [1824] - When I sell liquor, they call it bootlegging. When my patrons serve it on silver trays on Lake Shore Drive, they call it hospitality. --Al (Alphonse Gabriel) Capone (18991947) American gangster. Quoted in Kenneth Allsop _The Bootleggers_ [1961] One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor. --anon, sometimes attributed to George Carlin (19372008) American stand-up comedian and author. Alcohol is like love: the first kiss is magic, the second is intimate, the third is routine. After that you just take the girl's clothes off. --Raymond Chandler (18881959) American writer of detective fiction. _The Long Goodbye_, ch. 12 [1953] Wise men mingle mirth with their cares, as a help either to forget or overcome them; but to resort to intoxication for the ease of one's mind is to cure melancholy by madness. --Pierre Charron (15411603) French moralist. Attributed in _The Speaker's Garland and Literary Bouquet_, vol IV [1905]. [When asked at age 84 to what she credited her longevity:] Red meat and gin. --Julia Child (19122004) American chef, television personality, and author. Quoted in "Reader's Digest" [January 1997]. Bessie Braddock: Winston, you're drunk. Winston Churchill: Bessie, you're ugly. But tomorrow I shall be sober. --Attributed* in J.L. Lane (ed.) _Sayings of Churchill_ [1992] (*This exchange should be considered apocryphal as there is no record of it from any legitimate source.) Ennui has made more gamblers than avarice, more drunkards than thirst, and more suicides than despair. --C.C. Colton (17801832) English clergyman and writer. Attributed in Elias Lyman Magoon _Proverbs for the People_ [1849]. Some malicious person or persons in the ship took advantage of his [a crew member] being drunk and cut all the clothes from off his back; not being satisfied with this, they some time after went into his cabin and cut off part of both his ears as he lay asleep in his bed. --James Cook (17281779) British naval captain, navigator, and explorer. Quoted in J. C. Beaglehole _The Life of Captain James Cook_ "New South Wales" [1974] When the day of election approaches, visit your constituents far and wide. Treat liberally, and drink freely, in order to rise in their estimation, though you fall in your own. True, you may be called a drunken dog by some of the clean-shirt and silk- stocking gentry, but the real roughnecks will style you a jovial fellow. Their votes are certain, and frequently count double. --David Crockett (17861836) American folk hero who died at the Alamo. _Exploits and Adventures in Texas_pp.56-59 [1836] He seldom went up to town without coming down 'three sheets in the wind.' --Richard Henry Dana (18151882) American lawyer and author. _Two Years Before the Mast_ [1840] Then trust me, there's nothing like drinking So pleasant on this side of the grave; It keeps the unhappy from thinking, And makes e'en the valiant more brave. --attributed to Charles Dibdin (17451814) British actor and dramatist. Alcohol is nicissary f'r a man so that now an' thin he can have a good opinion iv himsilf, ondisturbed be th' facts. --Finley Peter Dunne (18671936) American journalist and humorist. _Mr. Dooley on Alcohol_, in "Chicago Tribune" [26 April 1914]. There is this to be said in favor of drinking, that it takes the drunkard first out of society, then out of the world. --Ralph Waldo Emerson (18031882) American philosopher and poet. Entry written in 1866 _Journals_. Oons, Sir! do you say that I am drunk? Sir, that I am as sober as a judge. --Henry Fielding (17071754) English novelist and dramatist. _Don Quixote in England_, 3.14 [1734] ^ Some weasel took the cork out of my lunch. --W. C. Fields [William Claude Dukenfield] (18801946) American vaudeville star and film actor. Lines spoken by Larsen E. Whipsnade (Fields) in the 1939 film, "You Can't Cheat an Honest Man." [Cuthbert J. Twillie (W.C. Fields):] During one of my treks through Afghanistan, we lost our corkscrew. Compelled to live on food and water for several days. "My Little Chickadee" [1940 film] Screenplay by Mae West & W.C. Fields. [The Great Man (W.C. Fields), suffering from a hangover:] Somebody put too many olives in my martini last night! Stewardess (Irene Coleman): Should I get you a Bromo? The Great Man: No, I couldn't stand the noise! --"Never Give a Sucker an Even Break" [1941 film] Screenplay by Prescott Chaplin and John T. Neville, from a story by W. C. Fields. [Niece (Gloria Jean):] Why didn't you ever marry? [The Great Man (W.C. Fields):] I was in love with a beautiful blonde once. She drove me to drink. 'Tis the one thing I'm indebted to her for. --W. C. Fields [William Claude Dukenfield] (18801946) American vaudeville star and film actor. --"Never Give a Sucker an Even Break" [1941 film] Screenplay by Prescott Chaplin and John T. Neville, from a story by W. C. Fields. Back in my rummy days, I would tremble and shake for hours upon arising. It was the only exercise I got. --W. C. Fields [William Claude Dukenfield] (18801946) American vaudeville star and film actor. "The Temperance Lecture" [1944] I like to keep a bottle of stimulant handy in case I see a snake which I also keep handy. --W. C. Fields [William Claude Dukenfield] (18801946) American vaudeville star and film actor. Quoted in Corey Ford _The Time of Laughter_ [1967]. I've been drunk only once in my life. But that lasted for twenty-three years. --W. C. Fields [William Claude Dukenfield] (18801946) American vaudeville star and film actor. Quoted in _The Quotations of W.C. Fields_ (ed. Martin Lewis) [1976]. Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water. --attributed to W. C. Fields [William Claude Dukenfield] (18801946) American vaudeville star and film actor. W. C. Fields [William Claude Dukenfield] (18791946), American film actor and comedian. Fields always kept a thermos of martinis at hand when he was filming, maintaining that it contained nothing but pineapple juice. One day someone tampered with the flask and Field's anguished cry rang out across the set: 'Somebody put pineapple juice in my pineapple juice.' --_Bartlett's Book of Anecdotes_ edited by Clifton Fadiman and Andrι Bernard [2000 ed.] ^ A medium Vodka dry Martini with a slice of lemon peel. Shaken and not stirred. --Ian Fleming (19081964) English thriller writer. _Dr No_ [1958] It is disgusting to notice the increase in the quantity of coffee used by my subjects ... If possible, this must be prevented. My people must drink beer. --Frederick II [Frederick the Great] (17121786) King of Prussia [17401786]. Proclamation [13 September 1777] [Upon first seeing his future wife, Caroline of Brunswick:] Harris, I am not well; pray get me a glass of brandy. --King George IV (17621830) King of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Ireland [18201830]. In _Diaries And Correspondence Of James Harris, First Earl Of Malmesbury_, edited by his grandson, the Third Earl [1844]. Let schoolmasters puzzle their brain, With grammar, and nonsense, and learning; Good liquor, I stoutly maintain, Gives genius a better discerning. --Oliver Goldsmith (17281774) Anglo-Irish writer, poet, and dramatist. _She Stoops to Conquer_ [1773] Licker talks mighty loud w'en it git loose fum de jug. --Joel Chandler Harris (18481908) American writer. _Uncle Remus and His Legends of the Old Plantation_ [1881] "Plantation Proverbs" Be wary of strong drink. It can make you shoot at tax collectors and miss. --Robert Heinlein (19071988) American science-fiction writer. _Time Enough for Love_ [1973] I decided to stop drinking with creeps. I decided to drink only with friends. I've lost 30 pounds. --Ernest Hemingway (18891961) American novelist. Quoted in "American Way" (magazine) [August 1974]. A hair of the dog that bit us. --John Heywood (14971580) English playwright. _Proverbs_ [1546] Old recipe books advised that an inebriate should drink sparingly in the morning some of the same kind of liquor which he had drunk to excess the night before - Bartlett's. No poems can please for long or live that are written by water-drinkers. --Horace [Quintus Horatius Flaccus] (658 BC) Roman poet. _Epistles_ Book I, Epistle XIX, Line 2 [c. 20 BC] You can't get away from yourself by going to a booze-bazaar. --Elbert Hubbard (18591915) American editor, publisher, and author who died in the sinking of the "Lusitania." _The Roycroft Dictionary and Book of Epigrams_ [1923] - Upon the first goblet he read this inscription: monkey wine; upon the second: lion wine; upon the third: sheep wine; upon the fourth: swine wine. These four inscriptions expressed the four descending degrees of drunkenness: the first, that which enlivens; the second, that which irritates; the third, that which stupefies; finally the last, that which brutalizes. --Victor Hugo (18021885) French poet, dramatist, and novelist. _Les Miserables_"Cosette," bk. 6, ch. 9 [1862] - Drink is the curse of the land. It makes you fight with your neighbor. It makes you shoot at your landlord and it makes you miss him. --Irish proverb ^ jazzed corked potted boiled as an owl loaded to the muzzle loaded for bear tanked burning with a blue flame pie-eyed slopped lit oiled --Prohibition terms for someone who was drunk. In Peter Jennings and Todd Brewster _The Century_ p. 123 [1998]. ^ - It's nine o'clock on a Saturday, The regular crowd shuffles in. There's an old man sitting next to me, Makin' love to his tonic and gin. He says, 'Son can you play me a memory, I'm not really sure how it goes, But it's sad and it's sweet and I knew it complete, When I wore a younger man's clothes.' Sing us a song, you're the piano man, Sing us a song tonight. Well, we're all in the mood for a melody, And you've got us feelin' alright. Now John at the bar is a friend of mine, He gets me my drinks for free. And he's quick with a joke or to light up your smoke, But there's someplace that he'd rather be. He says, 'Bill, I believe this is killing me,' As the smile ran away from his face. 'Well I'm sure that I could be a movie star, If I could get out of this place.' Sing us a song, you're the piano man, Sing us a song tonight. Well, we're all in the mood for a melody, And you've got us feelin' alright. Now Paul is a real estate novelist, Who never had time for a wife. And he's talking with Davy who's still in the navy, And probably will be for life. And the waitress is practicing politics, As the businessmen slowly get stoned; Yes, they're sharing a drink they call loneliness, But it's better than drinking alone. [. . . ] --Billy Joel (William Martin Joel) (b. 1949) American pianist, singer, and songwriter. "Piano Man" [1973 song] - - Wine makes a man better pleased with himself. I do not say that it makes him more pleasing to others. ... This is one of the disadvantages of wine, it makes a man mistake words for thoughts. --Samuel Johnson (17091784) English poet, critic, and lexicographer. [28 April 1778] in James Boswell _The Life of Samuel Johnson_ [1791]. In the bottle discontent seeks for comfort, cowardice for courage, and bashfulness for confidence. --Samuel Johnson (17091784) English poet, critic, and lexicographer. _Lives of the Poets_ [17791781] - - Drink to me only with thine eyes, And I will pledge with mine; Or leave a kiss but in the cup, And I'll not look for wine. --Ben Jonson (c.15731637) English dramatist and poet. "Song: To Celia" in _The Forest_ [1616] & see: Oliver St John Gogarty (18781957) Irish poet. Entering a tavern one day, Gogarty caught sight of a friend wearing a patch over one eye. He greeted him: 'Drink to me with thine only eye.' --_Bartlett's Book of Anecdotes_ edited by Clifton Fadiman and Andrι Bernard [2000 ed.] - A telephone survey says that 51 per cent of college students drink until they pass out at least once a month. The other 49 per cent didn't answer the phone. --attributed to Craig Kilborn (b. 1962) American comedian and talk show host. This year in October [1613], the Turks observed their feasts of Bayram ... a Turk having drunk wine too freely (the drinking whereof is forbidden amongst them, although they love it well, and drink in private) was apprehended, and carried before the Grand Vizier: who seeing the fact verified, inflicted this punishment upon him, to have boiling lead poured into his mouth and ears. --Richard Knolles (c.15451610 ) English historian. In M.J. Cohan and John Major (eds.) _History in Quotations_ , p. 265.[2004]. - I woke up Sunday morning With no way to hold my head that didn't hurt And the beer I had for breakfast wasn't bad So I had one more for desert. Fumbled thru my closets, thru my clothes And found my cleanest dirty shirt And I washed my face and combed my hair Stumbled down the stairs to greet the day. --Kris Kristofferson (b. 1936) American country music singer and songwriter. "Sunday Morning Coming Down" (1969 song) - - [In Key West] there are more than one hundred saloons on an island one mile wide. If you get drunk and fall down in any direction on Duval Street, somebody said, you fall into another bar. --Charles Kuralt (19341997) American journalist and broadcaster. _Charles Kuralt's America_ [1995] "February, Key West" What you need for breakfast, they say in East Tennessee, is a jug of good corn liquor, a thick beefsteak, and a hound dog. Then you feed the beefsteak to the hound dog. --Charles Kuralt (19341997) American journalist and broadcaster. _Dateline America_ [1979] - Joy, temperance, and repose, Slam the door on the doctor's nose. --Henry Wadsworth Longfellow (18071882) American poet. Quoted in Henry G. Bohn _A Dictionary of Quotations From the English Poets_, p. 375 [1867]. Wer nicht liebt Weib, Wein und Gesang, A Der bleibt ein Narr sein Leben lang. (Who loves not wine, women, and song Remains a fool his whole life long.) --Martin Luther (14831546) German Protestant theologian. Inscribed in the Luther room in Wartburg. ^^ One day John Marshall and his fellow Supreme Court justices, having heard disturbing rumors of their own excessive drinking, jointly agreed to abstain on their weekly consultation day unless it was raining. The following consultation day, Marshall (the Chief Justice) instructed Joseph Story to go to the window and check for signs of inclement weather. Story soon reported back: "Mr. Chief Justice, I have very carefully examined this case," he declared, "and I have to give it as my opinion that there is not the slightest sign of rain." "Justice Story," Marshall replied, "I think that is the shallowest and most illogical opinion I have ever heard you deliver. You forget that our jurisdiction is as broad as the Republic, and by the laws of nature it must be raining some place in our jurisdiction. Waiter, bring on the rum!" --http://www.anecdotage.com/ ^^ I'd hate to be a teetotaller. Imagine getting up in the morning knowing that's as good as you're going to feel all day. --Dean Martin (19171995) American film actor and singer. Attributed to Martin and to Jimmy Durante. For God's sake bring me a large Scotch. What a bloody awful country. --Reginald Maudling, Conservative home secretary, after a visit to Northern Ireland [1 July 1970]; in M.J. Cohan and John Major (eds.) _History in Quotations_, p. 930 [2004]. Cohan & Major explain: Britain had sent troops into the province on 14 Aug. 1969 after the outbreak of serious clashes between the Protestant and Catholic communities. McKinley drinks soda water, Bryan drinks rum, McKinley is a gentleman, Bryan is a bum. --Republican (McKinley) campaign [1900] Better sleep with a sober cannibal than a drunken Christian. --Herman Melville (18191891) American novelist and poet. _Moby Dick_, ch. 3 [1851] - A man loses his sense of direction after four drinks; a woman loses hers after four kisses. --attributed to H.L. (Henry Louis) Mencken (18801956) American journalist and literary critic. It is not the drinker, but the man who has just stopped drinking, who thinks the world is going to the dogs. --H.L. (Henry Louis) Mencken (18801956) American journalist and literary critic. Carl Bode (ed.) _The Young Mencken: The Best of His Work_ [1973] - Candy Is dandy But liquor Is quicker. --Ogden Nash (19021971) American writer of humorous poetry. _Hard Lines_ [1931] "Reflections on Ice-Breaking" - Drink and dance and laugh and lie, Love, the reeling midnight through, For tomorrow we shall die! (But, alas, we never do.) --Dorothy Parker (18931967) American critic and humorist. "The Flaw In Paganism" I'd love to have a martini, two at the very most. With three I'm under the table, with four I'm under my host. --attributed to Dorothy Parker (18931967) American critic and humorist. [Of a cocktail party she had attended:] One more drink and I'd have been under the host! --Dorothy Parker (18931967) American critic and humorist. Quoted in Bennett Cerf _Try and Stop Me_ [1944]. - [To a driving instructor in Scotland:] How do you keep the natives off the booze long enough to get them through the test? --Prince Philip, Duke of Edinburgh (b. 1921) Consort of Queen Elizabeth II. Champagne is the only wine a woman can drink and still remain beautiful. --attributed to Jeanne Antoinette Poisson, Marquise de Pompadour (Madame de Pompadour) (17211764) Maitresse-en-titre to Louis XV. Wine has drowned more than the sea. --Publilius Syrus (8543 B.C.) Latin writer of mimes who was originally a slave. Attributed in Thomas Fielding (John Wade) _Select Proverbs of all Nations_ [1824]. Drunkenness, for example, is temporary suicide: the happiness that it brings is merely negative, a momentary cessation of unhappiness. --Bertrand Russell (18721970) British philosopher, mathematician, and Nobel laureate. _The Conquest of Happiness_ [1930] The church is near but the road is icy; the tavern is far away but I will walk carefully. --Russian proverb The sight of a drunkard is a better sermon against that vice than the best that was ever preached on that subject. --George Savile [Lord Halifax] (16331695) English politician and essayist. _The Lady's New Year's Gift: or Advice to a Daughter_ [1688] When the wine goes in, strange things come out. --Friedrich von Schiller (17591805) German poet, historian, and dramatist. _The Piccolomini and the Death of Wallenstein_ II, xii [1799] Of all the vices drinking is the most incompatible with greatness. --Sir Walter Scott (17711832) Scottish novelist and poet. Quoted in "Manford's Magazine" Vol XXXIV [1890] There are two things a Highlander likes naked, and one of them is malt whisky. --Scottish saying Drink, Sir, is a great provoker. . . . Lechery, Sir, it provokes, and unprovokes: it provokes the desire, but it takes away the performance. --William Shakespeare (15641616) English dramatist. _Macbeth_, II, iii [1606] At the punch-bowl's brink, Let the thirsty think What they say in Japan: 'First the man takes a drink,' Then the drink takes a drink, Then the drink takes the man!' --Edward Rowland Sill (18411887) American poet and essayist. "An Adage from the Orient", in _The Poems of Edward Rowland Sill_ [1902]. I never drink. I cannot do it on equal terms with others. It costs them only one day, but me three; the first in sinning, the second in suffering, and the third in repenting. --Laurence Sterne (17131768) Irish-born English novelist. Quoted in _Working Farmer_, vol. 9 [1858]. - If you mean whiskey, the devil's brew, the poison scourge, the bloody monster that defiles innocence, dethrones reason, destroys the home, creates misery and poverty, yea, literally takes the bread from the mouths of little children; if you mean that evil drink that topples Christian men and women from the pinnacles of righteous and gracious living into the bottomless pits of degradation, shame, despair, helplessness, and hopelessness, then, my friend, I am opposed to it with every fibre of my being. However, if by whiskey you mean the oil of conversation, the philosophic wine, the elixir of life, the ale that is consumed when good fellows get together, that puts a song in their hearts and the warm glow of contentment in their eyes; if you mean Christmas cheer, the stimulating sip that puts a little spring in the step of an elderly gentleman on a frosty morning; if you mean that drink that enables man to magnify his joy, and to forget life's great tragedies and heartbreaks and sorrow; if you mean that drink the sale of which pours into Texas treasuries untold millions of dollars each year, that provides tender care for our little crippled children, our blind, our deaf, our dumb, our pitifully aged and infirm, to build the finest highways, hospitals, universities, and community colleges in this nation, then my friend, I am absolutely, unequivocally in favor of it. This is my position, and as always, I refuse to be compromised on matters of principle. --Noah S. "Soggy" Sweat, Jr. (19221996) American judge and politician. [1952 speech] - There are two things that will be believed of any man whatsoever, and one of them is that he has taken to drink. --Booth Tarkington (18691946) American novelist and dramatist. _Penrod_ [1914] - Alcoholic: Someone you don't like who drinks as much as you do. --Dylan Thomas (19141953) Welsh poet. Quoted in Constantine Fitzgibbon _The Life of Dylan Thomas_ [1965]. I have just had eighteen whiskeys in a row. I do believe that is a record. --Dylan Thomas (19141953) Welsh poet. At a bar in Greenwich Village, NYC. While these were not technically his last words, he died of alcoholic poisoning nine days later. - - One martini is all right, two is too many, three is not enough. --James Thurber (18941961) American humorist and cartoonist. Attributed in Evan Esar _The Comic Encyclopedia_ [1978]. It's a naοve domestic Burgundy without any breeding, but I think you'll be amused by its presumption. --James Thurber (18941961) Caption for _New Yorker_ cartoon [27 March 1937]. - - Give an Irishman lager for a month, and he's a dead man. An Irishman is lined with copper, and the beer corrodes it. But whisky polishes the copper and is the saving of him. --Mark Twain [Samuel Langhorne Clemens] (18351910) American humorist, novelist, journalist, and river pilot. _Life on the Mississippi_, ch. 23 [1883] Scotch whisky to a Scotchman is as innocent as milk is to the rest of the human race. --Mark Twain [Samuel Langhorne Clemens] (18351910) American humorist, novelist, journalist, and river pilot. Quoted in Charles Neider (ed.) _The Autobiography of Mark Twain_ [1959]. ^ Paul Verlaine (18441896) French poet. Poet and painter F.A. Cazals, a friend of Verlaine, arranged to meet the poet at a cafι, but was unavoidably late. When he finally did arrive, he was a trifle nervous, for Verlaine drunk was unpredictable. A mutual friend met Cazals at the door and warned him that Verlaine, hopelessly drunk, was 'furious with you.' Cazals entered to find Verlaine surrounded by his acolytes, but a little less drunk than he had been described. Cazals took courage: 'I hear that you were abusing me just a few minutes ago.' 'Who told you that?' cried the furious Verlaine. 'Somebody you don't know,' replied Cazals prudently. 'Somebody I don't know!' exclaimed Verlaine. He began to weave his way through the crowded cafι. 'I'm going outside, and the first passerby I don't know, I'llI'll smash his jaw!' --_Bartlett's Book of Anecdotes_ edited by Clifton Fadiman and Andrι Bernard [2000 ed.] ^ I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy. --Tom Waits (b. 1949) American singer and songwriter. Quoted in "Creem Magazine" [March 1978]. - Donald W. Goodwin, chairman of the department of psychiatry at the University of Kansas Medical Center and author of the recent book "Alcohol and the Writer" points out that while objective data on the numbers of writers afflicted with alcoholism is hard to come by, statistics show that, after bartenders, more writers die of cirrhosis of the liver, a disease closely associated with alcoholism, than people in other occupations. Goodwin looked at the seven Americans who have won the Nobel prize for literature and found that four of them Sinclair Lewis, Eugene O'Neill, William Faulkner and Ernest Hemingway were definitely alcoholic, while a fifth John Steinbeck drank to excess. --Ann Waldron "Writers and Alcohol" _The Washington Post_ [14 March 1989] - They drink with impunity, or anybody who invites them. --Artemus Ward [Charles Farrar Browne] (18341867) American humorist and writer. In the program for his lecture at Dodworth Hall, NYC, in _The Complete Works of Artemus Ward_ [1898]. Said Aristotle unto Plato, 'Have another sweet potato?' Said Plato unto Aristotle, 'Thank you, I prefer the bottle.' --Owen Wister (18601938) American writer of western novels. "Philosophy 4" [1903] - A man is a fool if he drinks before he reaches the age of 50, and a fool if he doesn't afterward. --Frank Lloyd Wright (18671959) American architect. Quoted in "N.Y. Times" [22 June 1958]. & note: There's no such thing as bad whiskey. Some whiskeys just happen to be better than others. But a man shouldn't fool with booze until he's fifty, and then he's a damn fool if he doesn't. --William Faulkner (18971962) American novelist. In James M. Webb and A. Wigfall Green _William Faulkner of Oxford_ [1965]. - The problem with some people is that when they aren't drunk, they're sober. --William Butler Yeats (18651939) Irish poet and dramatist who received the Nobel Prize for Literature in 1923. Attributed in Andrew Frothingham _Great Toasts_, p. 197 [2002]. - My Grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle. --Henny Youngman (19061998) English-born American stand-up comedian. Quoted in Robert Byrne _1911 Best Things Anybody Ever Said_ [1988]. When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading. --Henny Youngman (19061998) English-born American stand-up comedian. Quoted in "Rocky Mountain News" [15 July 1994]. - - Let's get out of these wet clothes and into a dry Martini. --anon. Line coined in the 1920s by Robert Benchley's press agent and adopted by Mae West in "Every Day's a Holiday" [1937 film]. There are several reasons for drinking, And one has just entered my head; If a man cannot drink when he's living How the Hell can he drink when he's dead? --anon. -- A cowboy, who is visiting Wyoming from Texas, walks into a bar and orders three mugs of Bud. He sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn. When he finishes them, he comes back to the bar and orders three more. The bartender approaches and tells the cowboy, "You know, a mug goes flat after I draw it. It would taste better if you bought one at a time." The cowboy replies, "Well, you see, I have two brothers. One is in Arizona, the other is in Colorado. When we all left our home in Texas, we promised that we'd drink this way to remember the days when we drank together. So I'm drinking one beer for each of my brothers and one for myself." The bartender admits that this is a nice custom, and leaves it there. The cowboy becomes a regular in the bar, and always drinks the same way. He orders three mugs and drinks them in turn. One day, he comes in and only orders two mugs. All the regulars take notice and fall silent. When he comes back to the bar for the second round, the bartender says, "I don't want to intrude on your grief, but I wanted to offer my condolences on your loss." The cowboy looks quite puzzled for a moment, then a light dawns in his eyes and he laughs. "Oh, no, everybody's just fine," he explains, "It's just that my wife and I joined the Baptist Church and I had to quit drinking." -- ---- TRIVIA: In 1829, when Mrs. Lydia Marie Child wrote _The Frugal Housewife_, New England rum was considered an excellent shampoo (and brandy was thought to strengthen the roots.) The top spirits marketer of the early Republic was George Washington, whose Mount Vernon estate sold 11,000 gallons of whisky a year. ----- abstemious [ab-STEE-mee-uhs], adjective: 1. Sparing in eating and drinking; temperate; abstinent. 2. Sparingly used or consumed; used with temperance or moderation. 3. Marked by or spent in abstinence. Synonyms: abstinent, teetotal, temperate. bibulous [BIB-yuh-luhs], adjective: 1. Of, pertaining to, marked by, or given to the consumption of alcoholic drink. 2. Readily absorbing fluids or moisture. bootleg (verb) ['but-leg] To produce and/or distribute legally prohibited products. Etymology: originated from the habit of men, when they wore high boots in centuries past, of smuggling objects across borders by hiding them in the legs of their boots. In the late 19th century, however, its meaning shrunk to the smuggling of whisky into counties and states that were 'dry.' daiquiri (noun) An iced cocktail of rum, lime or lemon juice, and sugar. hobnob (verb) ['hahb-nahb] To take turns drinking to or buying drinks for each other; to drink together; to associate with someone of a higher social class. Someone who hobnobs is a hobnobber and his behavior may be characterized as hobnobbery. imbibe (verb) [im-'bIb] To take in liquid; the transitive form of the verb means to drink alcoholic beverages, specifically. libation [ly-BAY-shun], noun: A beverage, especially an alcoholic beverage. potable [POE-tuh-buhl], adjective: Fit to drink; suitable for drinking; drinkable. noun: A potable liquid; a beverage, especially an alcoholic beverage. Ex.: "If you drink from the spring, which is shaded by a fig tree, you will supposedly feel younger and more loving. Unfortunately, you may also feel sick: the government warns that the water is not potable." --Gene Burns, "The Stuff of Myths," _The Atlantic_ [September 1999] tipple [TIP-uhl], verb: To drink intoxicating liquor, esp. habitually or to some excess. noun: Intoxicating liquor. toper [TOH-puhr], noun: One who drinks frequently or to excess. Ex.: But there remains a core of bottom-line voters to whom the promise of tax cuts is as seductive as gin to a toper. --David Nyhan, "Tax cuts for all - wheee!" _Boston Globe_, January 21, 2000 whiskey (noun) ['hwis-kee] A 'spiritual' potable distilled from rye, corn, or barley. end page | ABILITY - ABUSE | ACADEMY AWARDS - ACCUSATION | ACHIEVEMENT - ACQUAINTANCE | ACTION/S | ACTORS / ACTING | ACTUARIES - ADVERSARIES | ADVERSITY - ADVERTISING | ADVICE | AFFAIRS - AFGHANISTAN | AGE | AGNOSTICS - AIRPLANES | ALCOHOL | ALIBI - AMBITION | AMERICA PAGE 1 (A-M) | AMERICA PAGE 2 (N-Z) | AMERICANS | AMERICAN INDIANS | AMERICAN REVOLUTION | AMUSEMENT - ANCESTORS | ANGER | ANIMAL RIGHTS - ANIMALS | ANIMOSITIES - APATHY | APOLOGY & APPEARANCE | APPEASEMENT | APPLAUSE - APRIL | ARCHAEOLOGISTS - ARCHITECTURE | ARGUMENT | ARISTOCRACY - ART | ASHAMED - ASTROLOGY | ATHEISM | ATOM BOMB - ATTRACTION | AUSTRALIA | AUTHORITY - AUTOMOBILES | AUTUMN - AWARENESS | | A | B | C | D | E | F | G | | Return Home | The Credits | The Cast | Act 1 | Act 2 | Act 3 | The Reviews | |
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