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ADVICE

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.
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see: "COUNSEL"


It is easy when we are in prosperity
to give advice to the afflicted.
--Aeschylus (525—456 B.C.)
Greek tragic dramatist.

In order to convince it is necessary to speak with spirit
and wit; to advise, it must come from the heart.
--Henri-Franηois d' Aguesseau (1668—1751)
French jurist.

When women are the advisers, the lords of creation
don't take the advice until they have persuaded
themselves that it is just what they intended to do;
then they act upon it, and if it succeeds, they give
the weaker vessel half the credit of it; if it
fails, they generously give her the whole.
--Louisa May Alcott (1832—1888)
American novelist; daughter of Amos Bronson Alcott.
_Little Women_ [1868], pt. II

We give advice by the bucket, but take it by the grain.
--William R. Alger (1822—1905)
American minister and writer.

Never eat at a place called Mom's. Never play
cards with a man called Doc. Never go to bed
with a woman whose troubles are greater than
your own.
--Nelson Algren (1909—1981)
American novelist.
_A Walk on the Wild Side_ [1956]
"What Every Young Man Should Know"

He that gives good advice, builds with one hand; he that
gives good counsel and example, builds with both; he
that gives good admonition and bad example, builds
with one hand and pulls down with the other.
--Francis Bacon (1561—1626)
English philosopher and essayist.

Downright admonition, as a rule, is too blunt for the recipient.
--Henry Ward Beecher (1813—1887)
American Congregational minister;
[brother of Harriet Beecher Stowe, son of Lyman Beecher.]

Set thine house in order.
--Bible
"The Second Book of Kings" 20:1

^^

His [John Bromley] favourite story, without which
none of his speeches was complete, concerned a
pub lunch. The sign outside the pub says, 'Come
in for a pint, a pie and a friendly word.' The
weary traveller pulls in, enters the pub and orders
the pint and the pie. When he has taken his first
sip of beer he says to the barman, 'Now, what about
the friendly word?; whereupon the barman leans
forward with a confidential air and says, 'Don't
eat the pie.'
--'The Best After-Dinner Stories', selected
and introduced by Tim Heald [2003]

^^

A good friend who points out mistakes and
imperfections and rebukes evil is to be
respected as if he reveals a secret of
hidden treasure.
--Buddha [Gautama] (c. 6th—4th century B.C.)
Founder of Buddhism.

Of all the horrid, hideous notes of woe,
Sadder than owl songs or the midnight blast,
Is that portentous phrase, "I told you so."
--Lord Byron [George Gordon Byron] (1788—1824)
English Romantic poet and satirist.
_Don Juan_ [1819-1824]

The dead might as well try to speak to
the living as the old to the young.
--Willa Silbert Cather (1873—1947)
American novelist.

Advice is seldom welcome; and those who want
it the most always like it the least.
--Lord Chesterfield [Philip Dormer Stanhope] (1694—1773)
British writer and politician.

Advice in old age is foolish; for what
can be more absurd than to increase our
provisions for the road the nearer we
approach to our journey's end.
--Marcus Tullius Cicero (106—43 BC)
Roman orator and statesman.

-

Advice is like snow; the softer it falls, the longer it
dwells upon and the deeper it sinks into the mind.
--Samuel Taylor Coleridge (1772—1834)
English poet, critic, and philosopher.

& see:

A man takes contradiction and advice much more easily
than people think, only he will not bear it when violently
given, even though it be well founded. Hearts are flowers;
they remain open to the softly falling dew, but shut up in
the violent downpour of rain.
--Jean Paul Richter (1763—1825)
German novelist.

-

To profit from good advice requires
more wisdom than to give it.
--J. Churton Collins (1884—1908)
British author, critic, and scholar.
In Martin H. Manser _The Westminster Collection
of Christian Quotations_, p. 6 [2001]

-

We ask advice, but we mean approbation.
--C.C. Colton (1780—1832)
English clergyman and writer.
_Lacon: or, Many Things in Few Words_ [1823]


It was observed of Elizabeth that she was weak herself,
but chose wise counsellors; to which it was replied, that
to choose wise counsellors was, in a prince, the highest
wisdom.
--C.C. Colton (1780—1832)
English clergyman and writer.

-

I leave this rule for others when I'm dead,
Be always sure you're right — then go ahead.
--David Crockett (1786—1836)
American folk hero who died at the Alamo.
_Autobiography_ [1834]

And now Monsieur le President and cher ami,
I say this. Listen only to yourself.
--Charles de Gaulle (1890—1970)
French soldier and statesman, President [1959—1969].
Remark to President John F. Kennedy "Time" [7 December 1962].

I do not like giving advice: it is incurring
an unnecessary responsibility.
--Benjamin Disraeli (1804—1881)
British Tory statesman, novelist, and
Prime Minister [1868, 1874—1880].

Go placidly amid the noise and the haste, and remember
what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible
without surrender be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others,
even the dull and ignorant; they too have their story. Avoid
loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the
spirit.
--Max Ehrmann (1872—1945)
American lawyer.
"Desiderata" [1927]

-

If you would keep your Secret from an enemy,
tell it not to a friend.
--Benjamin Franklin (1706—1790)
American politician, inventor, and scientist.
_Poor Richard's Almanack_ [1758]


Be at war with your vices, at peace with your
neighbors, and let every new year find you a
better person.
--Benjamin Franklin (1706—1790)
American politician, inventor, and scientist.

-

Counsel is irksome when the Matter is past Remedy.
--Thomas Fuller (1654—1734)
English writer and physician.
_Gbomologia: Adages and Proverbs_ [1732]

Whatever advice you give, be short.
--Horace [Quintus Horatius Flaccus] (65—8 BC)
Roman poet.
_Ars Poetica_

A good scare is worth more to a man than good advice.
--Edgar Watson Howe (1854—1937)
American journalist and author.
_Country Town Sayings_ [1911]

We're all mighty unselfish when it comes t'
handin' out advice we could use ourselves.
--Frank McKinney (Kin) Hubbard (1868—1930)
American humorist.
_Abe Martin's Back Country Sayings_ [1917]

-

This letter will, to you, be as one from the dead.
The writer will be in the grave before you can
weigh its counsels. Your affectionate and excellent
father has requested that I would address to you
something which might possibly have a favorable
influence on the course of life you have to run, and
I too, as a namesake, feel an interest in that course.
Few words will be necessary, with good dispositions
on your part. Adore God. Reverence and cherish
your parents. Love your neighbor as yourself, and
your country more than yourself. Be just. Be true.
Murmur not at the ways of Providence. So shall the
life into which you have entered, be the portal to
one of eternal and ineffable bliss. And if to the
dead it is permitted to care for the things of this
world, every action of your life will be under my
regard. Farewell. . . A Decalogue of Canons for
observation in practical life:
1. Never put off till to-morrow what you can do to-day.
2. Never trouble another for what you can do yourself.
3. Never spend your money before you have it.
4. Never buy what you do not want, because it is cheap; it will be dear to you.
5. Pride costs us more than hunger, thirst and cold.
6. We never repent of having eaten too little.
7. Nothing is troublesome that we do willingly.
8. How much pain have cost us the evils which have never happened.
9. Take things always by their smooth handle.
10. When angry, count ten, before you speak; if very angry, an hundred.
--Thomas Jefferson (1743—1826)
American statesman and president [1801—1809].


Be a listener only, keep within yourself, and endeavor to establish
within yourself the habit of silence, especially on politics. In
the fevered state of our country, no good can ever result from any
attempt to set one of these fiery zealots to rights, either in fact
or principle. They are determined as to the facts they will believe,
and on opinions on which they will act. Get by them, therefore, as
you would by an angry bull; it is not for a man of sense to
dispute the road with such an animal.
--Thomas Jefferson (1743—1826)
American statesman and president [1801—1809].
In a letter to his grandson [24 November 1808].

-

Cheer up, the worst is yet to come.
--Philander Chase Johnson (1866—1939)
American journalist, humorist and dramatic editor,
"Shooting Stars" in _Everybody's Magazine_ [May 1920]

It was the maxim, I think, of Alphonsus of Aragon, that dead
counsellors are safest. The grave puts an end to flattery and
artifice, and the information we receive from books is pure
from interest, fear, and ambition. Dead counsellors are
likewise most instructive, because they are heard with
patience and with reverence.
--Samuel Johnson (1709—1784)
English poet, critic, and lexicographer.

Advice is what we ask for when we already
know the answer but wish we didn't.
--Erica Jong (1942— )
American novelist.
In Bob Kelly _Worth Repeating: More Than 5000
Classic and Contemporary Quotes_, p. 13 [2003].

No man is so foolish but he may sometimes give another
good counsel, and no man so wise that he may not easily
err if he takes no other counsel than his own. He that
is taught only by himself has a fool for a master.
--Ben Jonson (c.1573—1637)
English dramatist and poet.

-

Nothing is given so profusely as advice.
--Franηois de La Rochefoucauld (1613—1680)
French classical author.
_Reflections; or, Sentences and Moral Maxims_ [1678];
Maxim # 110


Good advice is something a man gives when
he is too old to set a bad example.
--Franηois de La Rochefoucauld (1613—1680)
French classical author.


We give advice, but we do not inspire conduct.
--Franηois de La Rochefoucauld (1613—1680)
French classical author.
_Maxims_ [1665] #403

-

A worn-out sinner is sometimes found to make the
best declaimer against sin.
--Charles Lamb (1775—1834)
English essayist.
_The Works of Charles Lamb_, p. 528 [1852]

-

Quarrel not at all. No man resolved to make the most of himself can
spare time for personal contention. Still less can he afford to take
all the consequences, including the vitiating of his temper and
loss of self control. Yield larger things to which you can show
no more than equal right; and yield lesser ones, though clearly
your own. Better give your path to a dog than be bitten by him
in contesting for the right. Even killing the dog would not cure
the bite.
--Abraham Lincoln (1809—1865)
American Republican statesman, President [1861—1865].
In a letter to J.M. Cutts [26 October 1863].


I am not bound to win, but I am bound to be true.
I am not bound to succeed, but I am bound to live
by the light that I have. I must stand with anybody
that stands right, stand with him while he is right,
and part with him when he goes wrong.
--Abraham Lincoln (1809—1865)
American Republican statesman, President [1861—1865].

-

You must believe in yourself, my son, or no one
else will believe in you, Be self-confident, self-
reliant, and even if you don't make it, you will
know you have done your best. Now, go to it.
--Mary Hardy MacArthur,
advice to her son Douglas on the morning of
his West Point examination, quoted in
Douglas MacArthur _Reminiscences_ [1964].

Few of the many wise apothegms which have been
uttered from the time of the seven sages of
Greece to that of poor Richard, have prevented
a single foolish action.
--Thomas Babington Macaulay (1800—1859)
English politician and historian.

Hazard not your wealth on a poor man's advice.
--Don Juan Manuel (1282—1349)
Spanish author & nobleman.
_El Conde Lucanor_

To love the worthy people who surround me, shun
the evil ones, enjoy the good things in life,
endure the bad, and remember to forget. This is
my optimism. It has helped me to live. May it
help you also.
--Andrι Maurois (1885—1967)
(pseudonym of Ιmile Salomon Wilhelm Herzog)
French author.
_Lettres a l'Inconnu_

Wherever your life ends, it is all there. The advantage
of living is not measured by length, but by use; some
men have lived long, and lived little; attend to it while
you are in it. It lies in your will, not in the number of
years, for you to have lived enough.
--Michel Eyquem de Montaigne (1533—1592)
French moralist and essayist.
_Essais_ (Essays) {94 chapters written 1571-1580 & published 1580;
the last 13 chapters were written 1585-1587 & published 1588 }.
Bk. 1, ch. 20

Many receive advice, few profit by it.
--Publilius Syrus (85—43 B.C.)
Latin writer of mimes who was originally a slave.
_Maxims_ # 149

Necessity is the only successful adviser.
--Charles Reade (1814—1884)
English novelist and playwright.

^

Ladies and gentlemen of the class of '97:

Wear sunscreen.

If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long-term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience. I will dispense this advice now.

Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth. Oh, never mind. You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they've faded. But trust me, in 20 years, you'll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked. You are not as fat as you imagine.

Don't worry about the future. Or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubble gum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind, the kind that blindside you at 4pm on some idle Tuesday.

Do one thing every day that scares you.

Sing.

Don't be reckless with other people's hearts. Don't put up with people who are reckless with yours.

Floss.

Don't waste your time on jealousy. Sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind. The race is long and, in the end, it's only with yourself.

Remember compliments you receive. Forget the insults. If you succeed in doing this, tell me how.

Keep your old love letters. Throw away your old bank statements.

Stretch.

Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives. Some of the most interesting 40-year-olds I know still don't.

Get plenty of calcium. Be kind to your knees. You'll miss them when they're gone.

Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll have children, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll divorce at 40, maybe you'll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary. Whatever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much, or berate yourself either. Your choices are half chance. So are everybody else's.

Enjoy your body. Use it every way you can. Don't be afraid of it or of what other people think of it. It's the greatest instrument you'll ever own.

Dance, even if you have nowhere to do it but your living room.

Read the directions, even if you don't follow them.

Do not read beauty magazines. They will only make you feel ugly.

Get to know your parents. You never know when they'll be gone for good. Be nice to your siblings. They're your best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.

Understand that friends come and go, but with a precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle, because the older you get, the more you need the people who knew you when you were young.

Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard. Live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft. Travel.

Accept certain inalienable truths: Prices will rise. Politicians will philander. You, too, will get old. And when you do, you'll fantasize that when you were young, prices were reasonable, politicians were noble and children respected their elders.

Respect your elders.

Don't expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund. Maybe you'll have a wealthy spouse. But you never know when either one might run out.

Don't mess too much with your hair or by the time you're 40 it will look 85.

Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia. Dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it's worth.

But trust me on the sunscreen.

--Mary Schmich
American newspaper columnist.
"Wear Sunscreen" "Chicago Tribune" [1 July 1997]

^

True happiness is to understand our duties toward
God and man; to enjoy the present, without anxious
dependence on the future; not to amuse ourselves
with either hopes or fears, but to rest satisfied
with what we have, which is abundantly sufficient.
--Lucius Annaeus Seneca (4 B.C.— 65 A.D.)
Roman philosopher and poet.

I pray thee cease thy counsel,
Which falls into mine ears as profitless
As water in a sieve.
--William Shakespeare (1564—1616)
English dramatist.
_Much Ado About Nothing_ [1598-1599]

The true secret of giving advice is, after you have
honestly given it, to be perfectly indifferent whether
it is taken or not and never persist in trying to set
people right.
--Hannah Whitall Smith
_The thing you set your mind on is the thing you ultimately become._

You will always find some Eskimos ready to instruct
the Congolese on how to cope with heat waves.
--Stanislaw I [Stanislaw Leszczynski]
(1677—1766) King of Poland.

The best rules to form a young man are to talk little, to hear much,
to reflect alone upon what has passed in company, to distrust
one's own opinions, and value others that deserve it.
--Sir William Temple (1628—1699)
English statesman and diplomat.

We all, when we are well, give good advice to the sick.
--Terence [Publius Terentius Afer] (c. 190—159 BC)
Roman comic dramatist.
_Andria_ (The Lady of Andros)

People are unreasonable, illogical, and self-
centered. Love them anyway. If you do good,
people may accuse you of selfish motives.
Do good. If you are successful, you may win
false friends and true enemies. Succeed anyway.
The good you do today may be forgotten tomorrow.
Do good anyway. Honesty and transparency make
you vulnerable. Be honest and transparent anyway.
What you spend years building may be destroyed
overnight. Build anyway. People who really
want help may attack you if you help them. Help
them anyway. Give the world the best you have
and you may get hurt. Give the world your best
anyway.
--Mother Teresa (1910—1997)
Roman Catholic nun and missionary.

There are few men who do not love better to give
advice than to give assistance.
--Henry David Thoreau (1817—1862)
American essayist, poet, and practical philosopher.
Journal [4 June 1850]

Enough of this! Advice helps only him who gives it, and that
only insofar as it lightens the burdens of conscience. In the
final event, you will do what fate and your breeding dictate,
and my advice will affect your future as much as a cherry
blossom falling into the river alters its course.
--Trevanian [pen name of Rodney Whitaker] (? — 2005)
_Shibumi_ [1979]

I have found the best way to give advice to your children is
to find out what they want and then advise them to do it.
--Harry S. Truman (1884—1972)
American Democratic statesman, President of the U.S. [1945—1953].

To act with common sense according to
the moment, is the best wisdom I know;
and the best philosophy is to do one's
duties, take the world as it comes,
submit respectfully to one's lot; bless
the goodness that has given us so much
happiness with it, whatever it is; and
despise affectation.
--Horace Walpole (1717—1797)
English writer and connoisseur.

-

Give not Advice without being Ask'd, and when
desired, do it briefly.
--George Washington (1732—1799)
American general and commander-in-chief of the
colonial armies in the American Revolution [1775-1783]
and first president of the United States [1789-1797].
_Copybook_ [1748]


Associate yourself with men of good quality if you
esteem your own reputation; for 'tis better to be
alone than in bad company.
--George Washington (1732—1799)
American general and commander-in-chief of the
colonial armies in the American Revolution [1775—1783]
and first president of the United States [1789—1797].
"Rules of Civility" [1747], collected in Charles Moore
_George Washington's Rules of Civilty and Decent
Behavior in Comapany and Conversation_ [1926].

-----

camarilla (noun)
A group of confidential, often scheming advisers.
Synonyms: cabal, faction, junto

exhort [ig-ZORT], transitive verb:
To incite by words or advice; to urge strongly; hence,
to advise, warn, or caution.
intransitive verb:
To make urgent appeal; to give warning or advice.
Ex.: How many children are exhorted to taste a new food
(which they have decided is bad on sight) and even after a
taste continue to protest?
--Richard Pillsbury,
_No Foreign Food_

kibitz (verb) ['ki-bits]
To look on without participating; to offer meddlesome
advice to others; to talk idly or annoyingly.

officious [uh-FISH-uhs], adjective:
Marked by excessive eagerness in offering services or
advice where they are neither requested nor needed;
meddlesome.
Ex.: "Why don't you mind your own business, ma'am?"
roared Bounderby. "How dare you go and poke your
officious nose into my family affairs?"
--Charles Dickens, _Hard Times_


end page



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